DEDICATION: Yue-eternal cuz she's such a good person. Great writer, awesome reviewer, and enthusiastic reader. Plus she made a dedication for me, such wonderful person...thus the dedication.
Summary: One-shot. It's never easy to say goodbye; sometimes just taking one last look is enough... "Should the tears of heaven be more solid than they are now, and bigger, they shall pelt me to death for my foolishness..." implied HaoYoh and AnnaYoh
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King.
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Goodbyes and Farewells
Footprints trailed a figure and soft eyes looked up at the darkened sky as flakes fell in soft blurs. It was getting late, and he still needs to get back to the inn. Lifting gloved hands, the figure caught a few of the white that decorated the earth, and the pure snow quickly melted in the warmth. Picking up his pace, the figure made his way toward his destination.
A bush beside him rustled, and he quickly paused and turned his head in alert toward the source of the sound. "Who's there?" His voice was soft but firm.
Another figure stepped into view, and it wasn't long before recognition donned the eyes of the one that was already there. He voiced the first question that came to mind. "Why are you here?" He didn't panic, nor did he raise his arms in defense. His voice was calm, inquiring.
The other figure smiled sadly and shook his head. As quick as he appeared, he was gone, faded into the white snow that decorated the darkness of the winter night.
Rubbing his eyes gently, the brunette made sure that the other figure was gone, before shaking his head and starting to walk again toward where he was heading.
.o0oOo0o.
Yoh stares blankly out the window as the teacher is giving a long lecture about history. His mind is on something else, and he takes in nothing of what the teacher is saying, though that doesn't matter much since he never listens anyways. His thoughts wandered to the figure he met last night. He wasn't surprised...much, nor was he angry or distressed. No, he was, in fact, very much relieved.
But...the brunette thought to himself...if he was alive, why didn't he ever tell me or give me a sign that he was?
Asking himself the question he could not answer, the Asakura laid his head down in his crossed arms. Was he really there? Maybe I was delusional...or maybe the weather was getting to me...
He begins to nod off as thoughts slowly faded.
I really hope I see him again...
Just as he was about to drift into slumber, a well-aimed chalkboard eraser hit him square in the head. "Itai!" He exclaimed, rubbing the part where the wood had hit. The class erupted into laughter.
His sensei's stern voice reached his ears. "You again, Asakura. Don't sleep in my class!" He commanded and went back to his lecture.
Yoh rubbed his head, feeling a bump forming. He scanned the class and his eyes met those of his best friend, and he smiled sheepishly and waved. His short friend waved back and smiled before turning attentively back to class.
The Asakura shrugged and went back to staring out the window, his mind half blank and half on the figure he thought he saw last night.
Behind him somewhere, his blond fiancée glanced at him with slight concern, but her feature soon returned to one of nonchalance.
.o0oOo0o.
Dark eyes gazed out the window, a slender finger tracing the frost that had gathered. Yoh stared into the darkness outside, the ground covered by a soft blanket of white.
A familiar voice interrupted his train of thoughts. "Yoh, it's late." The female voice said softly. "Go to bed." She demanded.
Yoh turned to smile at Anna. Training had lessoned, as there was no longer the need for it, and his fiancée had gotten slightly nicer on the outside. "Hai, Anna." The brunette responded as he stood up from his position beside the window. Anna, seeing this action, nodded and left the living room, getting ready for sleep herself. Yoh stretched and took one last look outside before turning off the living room light and closing the door.
.o0oOo0o.
A figure sat on a tree branch outside the inn, an arm resting on a knee and the other leg dangling down while the other hand supported his form. As soon as he saw the occupant leave the window, closing the light on his way out, the figure jumped down onto the thick snow with a soft plop.
I just wanted to see him...just one last time before I go...
He sighed as he turned toward the opposite direction of the building, long hair billowing behind him along with a thin fabric that surrounded his slender but well-built form.
"Hao." A soft voice stated, and the figure widened his eyes as he turned, a little too quickly; he didn't notice the presence approaching. The surprised shaman quickly composed himself and his face turned impassive.
"Where are you going?" The same soft voice inquired. The owner of the voice took a small step forward, demanding answer from the long-haired shaman.
He doesn't want to deal with anything; he just wants to come and go quietly without causing any problems, for them or himself.
The said shaman uncharacteristically took one step back.
.o0oOo0o.
It has to be him.
Another figure inside the inn quickly threw a scarf around a thin neck. Determined eyes shone in the darkness as the figure left the room and closed the door gently. Marching downstairs lightly but hastily, the figure carefully slid open the door that marked the entrance of the inn and, after getting out, slid it close. The being headed toward two distant forms, masked by the snow that had started to fall.
I can't let this go on. Yoh thought bitterly as he walked faster. I can't let him go like this.
.o0oOoo0o.
Anna crossed her arms. "I'll ask again: Where are you going?"
The long-haired shaman glanced at her nonchalantly. "Does it matter?
The blond itako bit her lips. "No, I guess not."
Hao turned around. "Then I'll take my leave."
"Hao, wait." He stopped abruptly but didn't turn at the familiar voice.
Anna turned sharply as another figure came up to them, jogging at a light pace.
"Yoh." The two others said at the same time.
Yoh came to a stop next to his fiancée. "Hao, don't go; stay with us." He went straight to the point.
The older Asakura turned around. "Why? So that I can be killed by your friends? So that I can be ridiculed for losing? So that I can be looked down upon for my ambition, my dream?"
The younger Asakura has a pained look on his face. He stepped forward until he's but a pace away from his brother, freshly falling snow covering his footprints. "It's not like that..." he reasoned, but Hao cut him off.
"No matter what you say, Yoh, I won't stay." He looked determinedly at the younger brunette, a slight pang in his heart that he ignored.
"And I won't let him." Anna added.
Yoh was silent. At these words, he turned to Anna, who still has her arms crossed and her expression was hard. Slowly, sadly, his lips curved into an apologetic smile, which the itako immediately understood. He then turned back to his brother. "Then I'm going with you."
Hao was taken aback by this. "Yoh, you have your-"
But Yoh won't let him finish. "I can't let you go, not alone." Behind him, Anna frowned slightly, but her expression was quickly covered up by a mask of indifference as Hao looked over Yoh's shoulder at her with troubled uncertainty.
The blonde knows that she can't stop Yoh. She cannot keep her fiancé from what he really wants. She turns away, not looking at either of them.
Hao looked at her for a moment longer, before turning back to Yoh. "Are you sure about this?"
The younger responded by stepping closer to his brother. "I have never been surer about anything else."
"What about your spirit?" The fire shaman asked. Deep down, he's really happy, but he does not want his brother to regret anything.
"I let him go." Yoh responded simply. "There was no need to restrain him anymore." He reasoned.
Hao frowned. "What about Anna?"
At this Yoh stiffened slightly. He turned to the blond girl. Hao did the same.
The mentioned blonde, feeling their gaze on her, turned to them. She was passive, arms still crossed, and she had on a look of superiority. "I couldn't care less." She indirectly acquiesced. Yoh's eyes softened, and Hao felt slightly guilty but he shrugged it off; there're not many people who have existed or still exist whom he places above himself, and Anna is not one of them.
"Go," she said, looking down so that blond bangs covered her eyes, making her expression unreadable, "but if you do, don't ever come back," her voice was soft, "don't ever show up in front of me again." There was mild disdain, annoyance, and…pain?
A pair of hands grasped tightly onto Hao's poncho. "Thank you, Anna." Yoh murmured gratefully.
Hao just took on with an impassive face as he watches the exchange, though his eyes are filled with regret, pity, and relief all at once. But there was no triumph. He didn't win, so there was no triumph to be felt.
Anna nodded quickly and pointed, expecting them to go. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much; loving a person means letting go; it's supposed to be easy.
'Go', her thoughts were clear. I must tell them to go, or they'll just stand there forever. Her lips parted to make way for the one word that needs to be said.
Her breath, however, got caught in her throat as a soft whimper replaced whatever that was supposed to come out.
Crying after they left would have been better.
A strong pair of arms surrounded her as warmth spread into her being; Yoh's warmth.
"I'm sorry, Anna," he said, pulling her into an embrace. "I'm really sorry." He repeated.
"I know," a small voice whispered as another sob escaped her throat, "I know."
And that's what makes it so much worse.
She stepped slowly out of the warm embrace and smiled gently, pushing Yoh toward the direction of his brother, who welcomed her ex-fiancé gladly. She chuckled humorlessly.
"Should the tears of heaven be more solid than they are now, and bigger, they shall pelt me to death for my foolishness..." She said with a fake smile.5
Yoh looked at her for a moment before offering a sad smile. "This isn't goodbye, Anna," he told her, "it never will be." He went up and, taking off his scarf, wrapped the warm object around her.
She laughed bitterly. "No, never goodbye, Yoh," she agreed as her hands went to the scarf, stroking it in an atypically endearing way, "farewell to both of you." Without waiting for a response, she ran back toward the inn without a backward glance, leaving the Asakura siblings to stare after her in the falling snow.
Yoh looked sadly at his brother, who frowned. "Do you regret what you did, Yoh?"
The younger shook his head. "Never; even if I bring her pain, to the point where she can no longer live, I will not leave you, not again." He responded in determination, making Hao feel more miserable upon hearing 'no longer live'.
"You should go back to her." He suggested painfully, knowing that it's the right choice, knowing that he can no longer be selfish. "She's so miserable, so sad...look at all her tears, her despair...you shouldn't cause her so much pain because of me."
Yoh smiled up at him. "And because you never show your sadness, you always forget, Hao, that it's okay to cry, okay to be in pain." He said, stepping closer into Hao's embrace. "If only you'd understand."
Taking one last look at the inn, the younger brunette left his brother's arms and turned in the opposite direction. "I'll help you understand, Hao." He took a few steps and glanced at his brother, holding out his hand. "Let's leave...for now."
Hao looked at the hand and, taking a quick glance the inn before turning to his otouto, accepted the offered hand with a smile.
It's too painful to be a farewell. Fresh snow covered the footsteps of two very intimate siblings as they walked further away from the Funbari Onsens, erasing all trace of their presence there. No, it's not a farewell, Anna...never a farewell.
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A/N: Yay, it's done! I believe it's pretty okay. Hmmm...so sad...I write sad fics when I don't really want to...
Anyways, dedication to Yue-eternal, thanks for the dedication in Black and White ::hugs and kisses:: Hope you liked it.
Thanks to all the readers for reading. Reviews would be appreciated but not forced; but it'll sure make me happy X3.