Dicsclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

I'm frazzled.

Very frazzled.

There are many reasons for this but the main one would have to be the fact that I, Remus Lupin, am a seventeen year old gay werewolf who doesn't have the balls to tell his best mate that he's in love with him.

Plus, just to make things that teensy bit worse, said best friend just happens to be sitting opposite me snogging the face off his very female girlfriend. Which would make him very straight and very oblivious to aforementioned attraction.

I can't take it anymore, I simply can't. It's as though he's taunting me, but of course he's totally ignorant to how I feel. I can't expect him to realise that each sweet nothing whispered in her ear, every kiss he plants in her lips is another little piece of my heart being stamped on and squished to pieces. Not that I want him to realise, that could lead to awkward questions.

You know, even if he were gay, even if he did fancy me, I still don't know if I'd go out with him. Sirius Black's reputation as Hogwarts' greatest player is not altogether undeserved. The girl currently sat on his lap nibbling his earlobe will be history by tomorrow. It's the way he operates, going out with a girl for a quick snog then he drops her just like that.

I couldn't put myself through that. I couldn't just go back to being friends with him afterwards. Our friendship means more to me than I've ever let on to him. I couldn't jeopardise it for a quick snog and I'd like to think that he wouldn't either.

Do you want to know the really sad thing?

There will never be anyone else. Not for me.

Werewolves…we mate for life.

I can tell the wolf has already chosen Padfoot. After the full moon a few months ago, James told me that the wolf had been acting strangely around the dog. He said it was as though they were flirting rather than messing around and playing like usual. Sirius has never mentioned it but sometimes I catch him staring at me strangely. It's almost as though he knows.

He can't know, can he?

I'd never forgive myself if he did.

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