After Toris had seen Canada in America's house for the first time, Matthew immediately began to give rise one feeling in Toris. That only feeling was simple, but strong human pity he never had never felt before in his long life. The Lithuanian tried not to show it to anyone as much as he could, but it kept on slipping out in his unusual and weird looks.
It was a strange feeling - to pity someone that you've seen only once. "It's interesting", - thought Lithuania as he was switching off the light at night, - how does it feel when you're unnoticeable?" Just the obscurity - the thing that Toris wanted to have rather often - attracted the Lithuanian's attention to the Canadian. In the darkness, Lorinaitis started to imagine he was invisible just like Canada; as if going across the floor, not being noticed. Lying in bed, knowing that no one would ever disturb you, no one would see you and feel you're here. Entering some other room and understanding that even if you'll keep doing some crazy things over there, no one would ever no that it was you who has done it. Only one thing makes you to come down to earth after the dreams of happy life: while coming in the bathroom, no matter how dark it is, you see your reflection in the mirror anyway. You touch the mirror to receive evidence that you really exist - your exact copy, your look-alike repeats your movements. Lithuania always sighed in dissapointment at that moment as if some event you've been looking forward to so much failed at the very last moment, but a minute later he remembers with a common stretched smile that Canada himself is reflected in the mirror. He is certainly not a ghost or a vampire from Alfred's books.
Nevertheless, Toris didn't even think to envy Williams, or, all the more, to admire his abilities. What's there to be happy about - the boredom and solitude? The lack of friends and endless days that begin and end in the same way? Daily walks near the ocean which look you hate after a year so much that you start to remember the places where the dark blue waves strike? The bear that never remembers your name? It looked like because of that all things, of the city melancholy and the madness threat, the Canadian soaked himself in sport and art to entertain himself. And the Lithuanian couldn't ignore the fact that there was some part of unopened sadness that no one wanted to understand in every Canada's work. In the hectic world of today among all the wars, quarrels, intrigues, who needs some Matthew Williams from the other part of the world? Now everyone needs only themselves and find things important only if they refer to them. And after us the deluge.
Before his outsourcing, Toris often pitied himself. He wanted something in his life would change to the better. At first he dreamed so while living with Poland, then - with Russia, especially with Ivan where Lithuania was overcome by irresistible fear and it seemed that it couldn't be worse. And when it, however, became worse, he had only pity and hope left. He, Estonia, Latvia - all of them had to pity themselves. "If you don't like yourself, no one will love you" - someone said before. And everybody sympathized themselves; someone did it naturally, someone pretended it to be, and someone did it just because he had nothing else to do. Now, at Alfred's house, where everything smelt of freedom, Lithuania felt guilty for thinking too much about himself and got himself into work. But this feeling was so natural to Lorinaitis as the ability of stinging for the bee, and so he moved his feelings to other people.
One evening, when Toris was going from the kitchen to take his dirty apron off, he saw Canada standing in the corridor again. This time the blonde seemed to the Lithuanian not so calm and tranquil as before, but absent-minded and deep in thought, as if he was sitting on the shore looking on the stormy ocean attacking the rocks. The Canadian looked into the emptiness whether smiling or hiding the tears. Lithuania badly wanted to know what he was thinking about, but because it was impolite to ask, he decided to ask about something else.
"What are you looking at, Mr. Williams? There's only an ordinary wall and nothing else." – The voice sounded uncertain and constrained, as if Toris could hardly say anything.
Canada shuddered nervously, turned to Toris and looked him smiling strangely.
"What?" - he asked. - No, I wasn't looking at anything, I was just thinking. Don't take it into your head.
"Oh, sorry". Toris felt rather awkward for starting this talk.
"And please", - the Canadian interrupted his thoughts, - "don't call me Mr Williams, I feel quite uncomfortable. Please call me Matthew. They seldom call my name..."
"Alright, Mr... oh, Matthew!" - immediately agreed Lorinaitis. He didn't even remember the Canadian's name and thought of his as just Canada. Mat-thew. Sounds calm and light, just like Williams' own words.
«You'd better say, Toris", - Matthew started to speak again, - "do you remember your home and your life before? I just became interested..." - Canada's face told he wasn't lying, and Toris decided to tell the truth too.
"Honestly, Matthew... Yes, I often remember it. I miss my friends that are left there very much... Do you miss your friends, Matthew?"
Canada raised his eyebrows in surprise and laughed sadly.
"Friends? What friends? I think I don't have any. Except Kumajiji, he's always me" - He smiled at his polar bear near him. "I don't have anyone to miss, as I'm alone. It will be the same when I come home"
"And do you spend your time all alone? What about your boss?"
"My boss calls me only when something happens. We rarely see each other. In fact, he even speaks to England more than to me...» – Here Matthew felt that he had split something and interrupted himself. "But is this really important?"
"But you don't speak to anyone, Matthew. Now you May say everything you want, I will listen to you anyway." - Toris was afraid that his interlocutor would get silent, and they hadn't said everything to each other.
"Really?" - Matthew smiled happily. - Thank you so much. No one listens to me at all."
He kept an awkward silence and then, stammering, began to speak:
"You know, Toris... Would you like to come to Canada for a couple of weeks? I can do a visa-free rate for you if you want. The main thing is that you'll come, and I'll organize everything, believe me. I'll try to make everything so much so you won't be bored. Will you come?" Lithuania could swear that he heard him whisper quietly: "Please".
The Lithuanian, not knowing what to say, silently nodded, looked at Matthew, whose face said that he'd do everything just not to be alone, then Lorinaitis turned away and went to his room, not looking back.
Different thoughts didn't leave his mind. How couldn't the Canadian go mad and forget how to talk when all his days go in an unbearable silence with Kumajirou? Even spending years in watching himself, Williams never tried to commit suicide and remained nice and normal. Even if Canada goes home next week, Toris will still remember him and dream to visit him secretly. Lithuania didn't know when he'd be able to do it, but he believed that it would happen someday. But still, despite all his dreams, as long as everyone would be busy with their own selves, Williams would be more, and Lorinaitis felt a human, never known before pity to Matthew more and more.
A/N: At last I've finished it translated it, phh! It's even longer in Russian than in English! I've wanted to post it here for so long and now I'm so happy I'm able to do it! This fic is one of my ten Canada x Liet fics. I want to make. I think that this pairing needs more love and it has some historical proof XD Really, I've found a lot articles about it! At the moment I'm reading the next one, Fragments kaleidoscope.
And of course reviews and faves will make me happy and a bit slow my heavy depression :)