"When you care about people, hurt is kinda part of the package."
- Beth Green
Dying wasn't as bad as she thought it was going to be. The shot was fired and almost instantaneously she was gone. That's what a bullet straight to the brain will do after all. She didn't see her life flash before her eyes, or a gleaming white light at the end of the tunnel though. None of it was like it was rumored to be. It was just…dark.
She could feel everything, however. It felt like she was falling backward into an icy cold river. The water cascaded over and submerged her, but it didn't fill her lungs or her nostrils – she wasn't drowning. She was being cleaned. Everything from the world she had been thrown out of was being washed away. There was no longer scars from sadness, or anger and the cast that had been confining her wrist simply broke away. Then there was fatal wound she had received but moments ago; it disappeared with only the quick sting one might feel from removing a band aid.
When all of it was gone, she was still drifting down into the water. The coldness was colliding with every cell in her body and causing it to vibrate with a new found energy. And finally, when she hit the bottom, life was breathed back into her.
The water was gone and air was filling her lungs and with her first breath, she was able to open her piercing blue eyes once again. The light that had been lacking at the end, was now bouncing off the pure white walls, ceiling and linoleum floor in every direction, the source of it could not be found though.
Carefully she was able to raise herself up onto her elbows, from the position she was lying in and she looked at her surroundings. They seemed familiar, yet in every way unfamiliar. She was in a hospital bed, but there was no IV dripping into her arm and the clock hanging on the wall? There were hands, but no face and nothing was moving.
"Hello, Beth," A soothing voice said her name and she turned her head to the right to see a figure that had not been there before, now standing above her. Their entire appearance was unexplainable, the person was not a man or a woman, and they were nothing like Beth had ever seen before, or would likely ever see again.
Her first instinct wasn't to ask where she was, or who they were, she simply responded, "Hello."
"Do you know where you are?" The person asked.
"This is Grady Memorial, isn't it?"
"Yes."
Beth nodded and her eyes flicked momentarily to the window, the last time she looked out of it, she had seen a desolated city, now…from what she could tell, that damage was undone.
"Is this supposed to be my heaven? I am dead after all, aren't I?" Even though she felt alive, Beth knew she wasn't and she was catching on quickly to what was happening.
"Get up and walk with me, Beth," the person outstretched they hand, offering it to her. "I will explain as we go."
Without hesitation she obeyed, having a blind faith in the being she'd never known. With liveliness she had forgotten she was capable of, she was up and out of the hospital bed, her bare feet surprisingly warm on tiles and her hand feeling the same warmth radiating from the hand she was now holding.
She noticed the white hospital gown she was wearing and her face twisted slightly in distaste, "Do I have to wear this?"
An airy chuckle escaped the person's mouth, "For the time being, yes. Come now." Beth let them lead her to the door and into the hallway, not knowing what to except. The brightly lit space was empty except for them, though.
"You see, Beth, this is where your life line was cut," the person explained as they led her toward an unknown destination, "It is here that you will go from."
"To Heaven?" Beth asked, she had questioned many times if, after everything she'd done, she was able to get into Heaven.
"I supposed that's what some would call it."
"Is my Dad there? Or my brother or my mom?"
"Whoever you want to be there, is there."
"Anyone who has died, you mean?"
Pursing their lips the person nodded, "Yes, that is what I mean."
Beth felt a tinge of sadness well inside her and wondered to herself, do I still not cry anymore? She had just left some of the people she had cared most for in the world behind and she didn't even know what it was truly for. She just knew it was the right thing.
"You can."
"What?" Beth looked at the person, who had released her hand and continued walking, their hands now folded behind their back.
"You can cry, if you want. It is normal when moving on."
"I –" That was the only thing she was able to get out, before she let herself be taken over by grief.
She never got to see Maggie, to hug her sister and mourn their father's death together.
She never got to see Judith take her first steps or tell her about Lori, the mother she would never know.
She had never gotten the chance to truly explore the meaning love, or what it meant to be half of a whole.
The turn robbed her of her teenage years and the life she may have had.
Her death, robbed her of everything.
For what seemed like hours, she remained standing in the hallway and the strange person watched as she shed every tear she would not let herself cry before. Howls escaped her mouth and some got stuck in her throat; she cried until her eyes stung red and the energy she had felt before started draining. Beth tried to speak when she was done, but every word attempted brought a hiccup.
"Am….HICK…I….HICK."
"Shhh, Beth," The person spoke gently, like a mother would to her child, "Breath."
Beth found her voice then, "I'M DEAD, I SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO BREATH! I SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO WALK THESE HALLWAYS AGAIN. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE! "
"Maybe you should have thought of that, before you stabbed Dawn. If you do not want to be here, you had the choice not to be."
Beth was taken aback by the person, they had been anything but malicious before, "Wh – What?"
The person spoke curtly as they repeated themselves, "If you do not want to be here, you shouldn't have stabbed Dawn."
"But…Noah…He couldn't go back. He wanted to go home."
"Do you want to go home?"
Beth paused. Not knowing the answer to the question. Which place was truly her home? Her childhood farm house? The prison? The tiny mortuary that was a sanctuary to her and Daryl for a single night? The more she thought about it, the more she realized it was the people she had come to know over the entirety of her eighteen years who were her home, and that home was split between the living and the dead.
"I can't go back?" Beth asked, "Not even to say goodbye?"
"You hate goodbyes," the person stated.
Beth nodded, "I do."
"You can say hello, however."
"To who?"
"Everyone. You can wait for them beyond with everyone else and greet them like you normally would, as if they've only been from your side for a few hours," the person explained.
"Will it only feel like a few hours?" Beth wondered if, when she saw her dad, even though he had been dead for months, he would act as though she had just gone to change Judith.
He person smiled sadly at Beth, "Yes and no. The time you are away from them, is the time you are away from them. But when you see them again it feels…"
"Timeless…" Beth said, now eagerly looking toward the person.
"Yes."
Beth smiled, with no sadness to it, "Good. Because if Daryl Dixon is going to be the last man standing, I'm going to be waiting a while."
The person mimicked Beth's smile and outstretched their hand for her to take again, "It is time to go."
With one last look down the hospital hallway, Beth took the hand, promising to herself she would be patient enough to wait for the rest of her family as she followed the being into and ethereal glow.
AN: This was a one shot I wrote post mid-season finale when I was kind of in shambles and kind of angsty about Beth Greene's death. I didn't want to post it then because it felt like, if I did, she was really gone and I didn't want to accept that. I felt strange for letting a TV Character affect me that much and I thought it would pass and this would no longer be relevant. But as the back half season five carries on, I find myself needing comfort and I thought maybe some others needed comfort as well. So I've decided to post it.