Strong

By: Jecir

The Sacred Fire Room was silent—a holy silence that never left its walls and drew all who entered within to join in the quiet least they dishonor this powerful shrine. The eternal fire burned in its grate, both warming and warning all who would gaze upon it. "Draw near," it would say within the dancing flames, "if you dare. But touch not, for you are unworthy." To all this, time passed, undisturbed. Until, in the long hours of the night, a small hand pulled open the rice-paper doors. The fire leap at the intrusion, but the violet-eyed little girl did not flinch. Her heart was too heavy to notice. The Sacred Flame pulled back as the raven-haired human shuffled in and closed the door.

Rei looked around the room. No one was here. That was good. Her Grandfather was asleep, or he should be. It was late. She should be in bed. But she couldn't get comfortable on the thing mat in her new room. Her new room…

Tears sprang to her eyes, tears she had been holding back for so long. They trickled down her thin face, carving cool rivers over her skin. The warmth of the fire beckoned her near as she tried in vein to remain strong. She had to be strong. She had to prove to her father that she was strong so he would take her back. Her mother hadn't been strong, so her father didn't save her. That had to be right, right? Why else didn't he come to see her when she was dying? Why?

The questions kept racing through Rei's young mind as she sat in front of the fire. She pulled her knees to her chest, wrapped her small arms them, and laid her chin on them as she looked into the fire. It danced and swayed to a rhythm all its own. It reminded her of her mother. Her mother always danced around the house, singing and swaying and laughing and filling their home with joy.

Rei hiccupped a sob. The tears pressed violently against the boundaries of her will. The happy memories of her mother were replaced by long days of her lying in the hospital, surrounded by cold, sterile walls. She had tried to smile; tried to assure Rei that it would be over soon; that they would go home and that would be that.

Rei sniffed and tried so hard no to cry.

Her mother's grace sat on a hill, surrounded by so many others. Her father had not come to the funeral, either. He left her alone…there…and here.

The tears broke. Rei sobbed into her tiny fists, trying to scrub away the tears as they fell. She wanted her father! Why had he left her here? Why? What had she done? She cried harder, never once seeing the fire leap in its grate.

A warm hand touched her shoulder.

Rei jerked, red-rimmed eyes wide and fists pressed against her mouth.

Eyes the color of a bright morning sky after a violent storm gazed back at her from an angelic face. "Child," he whispered in a warm, soothing voice, "Why are you crying?"

Fear gripped Rei's heart. She tried to scrambled away, but her hands tangled in the long robe she was wearing, resulting in her slipping and falling into a heap on the wooden floor.

The strange man pulled his hand back. "I'm sorry," he cried in that same smooth tone—so like the fire that still blazed behind him. "I did not mean to scare you. Here." The fire suddenly surrounded him. Rei gasped in fear—he was being burned alive!

When the fire receded, there stood a child, not a man, with the same blue eyes now set in a cherubim's face topped with curling blond locks. He smiled brightly. "Is this better?" His voice was higher, younger, but still warm and inviting.

Despite her astonishment, Rei nodded. She forcefully wiped away the tear stains and sat on her knees, valiantly ignoring the tears still brimming in her eyes.

The strange boy knelt in front of her. He reached out with one small hand and wiped a tear from her eyelash/ Laughter danced with compassion in his eyes as he gazed at the tear. "You are strong," he whispered, his eyes moving to take in her face, "But true strength is not the ability not to cry, but having no shame when you cry."

"No!" Rei protested, "I will not cry! Big girls don't…don't…cry!" She forced out the last word through growing sobs rising in her throat. "I'll show him…I'll show everyone! I'm…not…not!" She couldn't finish it.

The boy placed a hand on her head. "It's ok to cry. If you want, you can cry in front of me. I won't tell anyone. You don't have to cry in front of anyone else if you don't want to. Just me."

She did not know why, but she believed him. Even after she crumbled into his arm and sobbed brokenly on his shoulder; even as he wrapped his arms around her and whispered soothingly in her eyes; even as she bored all her pain onto this complete stranger; she knew she could trust him.

* * * * *

She knew…

Rei stood on the top of a lonely hill surrounded by dark grey stones. Her long black hair blew in the winds of the storm growing on the horizon. It seemed fitting for today to be so temperamental. It was her least favorite day of the year. Why should it not be unpleasant?

Makoto looked out at the incoming storm with relish. Rei could sense her friend's excitement. The others didn't know it, but Rei suspected that Makoto had another reason for loving violent weather other than it being her natural element. It lined up with Ami's unnatural desire for the ocean. Rei never spoke of it, though, for she had her secrets as well.

"Rei?" Usagi came up beside her. "You ok?"

Rei nodded, her face and ivory mask. She was grateful for the others agreeing to come out today. They were her family, too, after all. They were welcome here.

"He's here," Minako reported from the edge of the group.

Rei's spine stiffened. She refused to look back at the black limousine that was parked at the base of the hill; refused to watch her grandfather bow in respect to that bastard; refused to watch him walk oh so regally up the hill to join them. She clenched her fists at her sides. He had no right to be here.

"Rei," her father greeted coldly as he came to her side.

"Father," Rei returned without looking at him.

He looked over his shoulder at the girls, his face impassive, and whispered in her ear, "Who are hey and why are they here?"

"They are my friends," Rei hissed sweetly. "I invited them. They are more my family than certain people, thus I welcomed them to join us."

Her father did not reply.

Her grandfather began their yearly ritual. Stepping forward, he knelt before the gravestone and began to pray. All those present bowed their heads in respect. He finished the prayer by lighting incense. Standing, he allowed Rei to go next.

Rei placed a bouquet of flowers on her mother's grave as she knelt. She bowed her head in respect. "Hi, mom," she whispered. "How's heaven? I'm sure it is better than here." She shot a scathing look at her father; over his shoulder, she saw her friends. Their encouraging faces brightened her darkening mood. She turned back. "I brought the girls this year. They've been wanting to meet you. They've the ones I've been fighting beside. You would have loved them, especially Makoto. She wants to be a wife and run a good home. Like you." She took a deep breath, forcing the pain out of her eyes and back into her heart where it belonged. "Not much has changed since last year. I'm still studying hard and taking care of the Temple. No attacks on earth this year. It's been peaceful. I love you. I'll see you again soon." Clapping twice, she bowed her head and stood.

One by one, her friends knelt and introduced themselves to her mother. Mamoru and Usagi knelt together.

As usual, her father did nothing.

All too quickly, their visit was over.

Before she could slip away to the safety of her family, her father pulled her aside.

"How are your studies progressing?" he inquired as he walked down the hill.

Rei begrudgingly followed. "Well," was her short reply.

He smiled. "Good. You are reaching a proper age, daughter. It is time you began to think on your future."

Rei nearly stumbled. Her future? What did he care about her future?

They reached the limousine. "There is someone I wish for you to meet."

Rei's heart stopped.

"His name is Shiho Takeda. He is a promising young politician and comes from a good family. And he is only five years your senior."

"What?" Rei breathed. How dare he!

"You will meet him," her father said sternly. "It is my wish."

"You forfeited your right to tell me what you wished when you gave me to my grandfather," Rei reminded him.

Usually, when she showed resistance to his wishes, he grew angry, but today, he simply smiled a cruel, crafty sort of grin that meant he had won before they had even begun. "Your grandfather will not live forever. Soon, he will not be here anymore, and you, my daughter, will once again belong to me. I suggest you consider that."

Rei paled at the implication.

Her father stepped into the car. Before he closed the door, he said, "Takeda is a good man. Treat him well." With that, he drove away.

Rei wanted to scream.

"Rei?" Ami's worried face came into view. "Are you all right?"

Rei watched her father's car disappear down the road. "Yes," she choked out. "I'm fine. I just…" She looked up at the darkening sky. "I need to get back to the Temple."

* * * * *

Rei was silent as she slid open the rice paper doors. She had been silent since leaving the graveyard. Her grandfather knew not to ask what was bothering her when her mood was this dark. He knew it was best to let her emotions sort themselves out. She would talk to him when she was ready. Rei was always grateful for that. She stepped into the warmth of the Fire Room as the storm broke in all its ferocity. She could feel Makoto's aura on the wind mixed with another equally as wild one. She sighed heavily and slid the door closed, blocking out the world and all of its troubles.

Sadly, the barrier between inside and out could not hide her from the storm raging within. Her father's words rang with a horrible truth. Her grandfather was getting along in years. He was old when she first came to live with him. He was older now. Running the Temple was taking its toll on his health. She feared that it would be sooner than later that she would lose him, though she prayed hard for it to be later. If only he could survive until she graduated college. Then, she would have her business degree and be able to manage the Temple, and then, he could rest! And her father would never get a hold of her! If only…

The weight of the day hung heavily on her heart, driving her to her knees before the fire. She bowed her head, allowing her hair to fall like a curtain around her face, hiding the tears that began to slowly trickle down her flushed cheeks. How she hated always coming to him with tears in her eyes.

The heat in the room increased. The fire roared with renewed life. And a familiar, gentle hand cupped her face, urging her to look up into his eyes. She hated it when he did this. He always forced her to be so vulnerable with him. He never allowed her to hide. A smile brushed his face as his psyche brushed her mind. "You cannot hide your heart from me, Hecate," he whispered to her soul.

And just like that, as every other time, she broke. The tears fell even as she closed her eyes and gripped his hand, kissing it before pressing it against her face. His touch was her only lifeline, it seemed.

He knelt down. "What happened?"

"My father," she whimpered. "Oh, Suzaku, he said…such terrible things."

He did not need to hear anymore. Rei willfully allowed him to pull her close. She curled into his body, relishing the feel of his arms wrapping around her like protective wings, and let go.

And Suzaku held her, for he knew…it was hard for her to be strong.

* * * * *

Dawn broke through the remnants of the storm as Rei slipped quietly from the Room of the Sacred Fire. Her eyes were red but clear, and she breathed deep the smell of the morning.

"Feeling better?"

Rei gave a start, turning swiftly to see who had intruded.

Ami smiled apologetically.

"Ami," Rei greeted. "What are you doing here so early?"

"You look like you're feeling better," Ami said, ignoring the question. "Calmer. Less tense. Makoto would have come with me, but, well…" She looked out at the retreating storm. "She needs to rest."

Rei looked out at the clouds as well. "So, you knew?"

"She told me at the beach house." Ami shook her head. "It is hard for her, having to wait for a storm. Me, I just need a reason to go to the beach. But you," Her dark blue eyes turned on her friend, "You have it the hardest."

Rei blinked, confused and a bit frightened. She did not wholly understand what it was Ami was implying. She, herself, did not fully comprehend her friends' secrets. What did Ami know that she didn't? Once more, what did Ami know about her secrets?

Ami looked past her to the Sacred Fire Room. "Genbu told me that one of his brothers was trapped in fire. I should have guessed it would be Suzaku."

Rei's eyes widened at the sound of his name. "How did you…"

"It was simple, really, once I found out from Makoto what was going on. You are really strong, you know, almost too strong. You never show emotion, not even to us. I often wondered if you ever cried. Then, yesterday, it all came together. Suzaku's in there, isn't he? In the Sacred Fire."

For a moment, Rei thought to lie. But only for a moment. "Yes," she said in defeat. "He's in there. But only I can see him."

"Figures. If I were to take any of you to Genbu's grove, I doubt you would see him, either." Turning, she asked, "Want to go get some breakfast? We have a lot to talk about."

Looking back at the Room of the Sacred Fire, Rei could feel his presence urging her on. A smile brightened her face. Turning back to her friend, she said, "Sure."

The End