know this should be Ron's Problem- Epilogue, but I swear the darn thing will NOT finish. I'm at like 15 pages now- and I'm still going. As soon as I get a good stopping point, I swear I will post. This little one-shot is the first of 3 plot bunnies hopping round my head, the other is another one-shot that will most likely follow this, and the third is another long multi-chapter I am in the process of starting, but I won't post the first chappie of that until Ron's Problem is done. Please review- I have no idea where this story came from, and I basically wrote in all in one sitting. Enjoy! I dedicate this story to Allison, who tirelessly worked to give Checkmated its new, amazing format! Girl, you rock! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your part in making Checkmated a home for myself and so many others. Also, credit to Jane, for constant inspiration and the reason I remembered "Fizzing Whizbees."
***************
"It was just a stupid dream, Lavender! It's not like I did it on purpose!"
"It doesn't matter what you meant, Seamus! Dreams are inward manifestations of secret desires, according to Professor Trelawney."
"She's a bloody fraud, Lavender. You can't believe anything she says."
"Oh, so now I'm stupid and gullible, too?"
"I didn't say that!"
"You didn't have to, Seamus! I can read between the lines. Just like I can read what your dream means! Obviously, I'm not who you want!"
"Oh, c'mon, it's not like she's the first one! I've had dreams about half the girls in Gryffind- I mean, uh…."
"That's it! It's over! Go find Prissy Prefect Hermione Granger! I hope you two snog to death!"
She turned and walked away without a backward glance.
"C'mon, Lavender! Lavender! Well, bloody good riddance! See if I care!"
Seamus' roaring voice echoed down the corridor before he slumped against the wall in the wake of her departure. It had been just a stupid dream.
************
Seamus entered the Gryffindor Common room an hour later, after wandering aimlessly about the castle. His appetite gone, he had skipped dinner, preferring instead the quiet solitude of some of the less trafficked corridors.
He reflected on his tumultuous relationship with Lavender. Sure, she was awfully flighty, gossipy and often an incredible nag. When she and Parvati got together, they came up with all kinds of ridiculous ways to "test" their relationship garnered from stupid girl magazines with stupid quizzes. She always had certain ideas about how he was supposed to act, what he was supposed to do, and Seamus often wondered where all these rules were so he could look them up and memorize them, because he never had a clue what she wanted.
But despite that, they always had tons of fun together. He made her laugh, and she made him feel, well, like a man. It gave him shivers whenever she looked at him like he was the only one in the world who could make her that happy. She was an absolutely gorgeous bird, one of the best in Gryffindor, and the whole of Hogwarts for that matter.
Of course, she knew that, and had certainly used her looks to her advantage on more than one occasion.
Despite her often and obvious manipulation, she was a great girl with a big heart and sensitive feelings. He supposed it hadn't been the best idea to tell her about the dream he'd had the night before starring Hermione Granger as his tutor who "punished" him for his late homework. He'd only brought it up to joke around. Obviously, she didn't find it quite as funny as Dean had.
Seamus sighed again, rubbing his face tiredly, and collapsed into a nearby sofa. He looked across the way and saw Harry and Ron studying with the cause of all his trouble.
Surreptitiously, he studied her.
Alright, she wasn't bad looking, especially since she'd gotten those teeth taken care of. Her hair, at first appearing as a huge puff, was actually pretty nice looking if you looked at it long enough. Long and curly-like. Made a fellow want to touch it to see what it did. She did have beautiful eyes, and a cute little dimple in her cheek when she smiled. And of course, there was the fact that she was one of the most "developed" girls in 6th year.
But there wasn't the same spark inside him when he looked at her. He didn't have to physically restrain himself from throwing her up against the nearest wall and nibbling on her neck (which he often fantasized doing to Lavender, usually during History of Magic).
She was pretty. More than pretty, even. But she wasn't Lavender.
Seamus knew that Lavender would never believe he wasn't attracted to Hermione. The only possible way to get her back, ironically enough, would be to go out with Hermione, then tell Lavender that there was absolutely nothing there. Lavender was just that nutty. The things he did for love, Seamus mused.
Two problems to get through first, though- Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. They were practically her personal bodyguards. After the Department of Mysteries' battle that had left Hermione injured, the two boys had definitely grown more protective of her. They were together more than ever, but Ginny Weasley also seemed to be spending time with them. He figured part of it was Harry's not so innocent looks in her direction when he was sure Ron wasn't looking. Dean and he had a bet as to how long it would take Ron to cotton on to the fact that Harry and Ginny had been making rounds on the Hogwarts broom closet circuit.
Dean had mentioned that all throughout their one month relationship, Ginny had been stubbornly unwilling to open up her heart. It hadn't taken him long to discover that the reason for it was that her heart still belonged to Harry. He had let her go without a fuss and urged her to make a move. She had been scared, but with a little coaching and help from Dean, had slowly been attempting to talk to Harry more during his stay at her home over the summer. Two weeks into August, Dean had received an ecstatic letter by owl post stating that 'IT" had happened. Dean was happy for her. Anyway, Parvati was just as pretty and half as stubborn. Plus, she didn't have any huge, overprotective brothers to cause potential pain.
Seamus wasn't all that worried about Harry. After all, he already knew that Hermione and Harry were just friends. He might be a little bit of a problem, simply because he was a boy and knew what boys thought about. He might not be so willing to accept Hermione going round with him. Seamus was pretty sure he could get around him.
The other boy was going to be, well, difficult. Ron Weasley had made no secret of the fact that he hated Victor Krum. What he thought he'd successfully concealed was why. Of course, everyone knew he had a gigantic crush on Hermione, especially considering that it took him exactly 0.5 seconds to turn red whenever she smiled at him or touched him in any way, at any time, at any place.
They fought constantly, but were miserable whenever they were out of each other's good graces. Seamus and everyone else knew it was just a matter of time before one or the other did something about it. He just hoped he was there with a front row seat when it happened.
He and Dean had bet going about that, too.
Seamus figured it would be easy to get Hermione to agree, if he played it right.
Deciding there was no time like the present, he got to his feet and approached their table.
"Uh, Hermione, can I speak to you for a minute?"
Hermione glanced up from her note taking, and put down her quill.
"Sure, Seamus, what's up?"
He glanced wearily at Harry, who was blinking at him curiously, and Ron, whose eyes had narrowed in suspicion.
"Errr, in private?"
"Oh," she said, startled. "Well, alright then. Be right back."
She followed him to the corner of the Common Room he led her to. Even with his back to them, Seamus could feel Harry and Ron's (especially Ron's) eyes on his back.
Taking a deep breath, he blurted out the entire story, beginning with the dream and ending with his fight with Lavender.
When he was finished, Hermione rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Seamus, doesn't she realize it's just hormones? All male wizards go through that, not to mention a fair amount of witches! It doesn't matter who the dream is about, although, (at this she smiled shyly) I am flattered. The subconscious randomly picks the subject matter."
"I know, I know! I tried to explain, but she's hell bent on the idea that we're destined to be together or something and won't listen to reason!"
"So, what do you want me to do?" Hermione's brow knit.
"I want you to go out with me."
Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. Seamus hastily continued, "I mean, it's the only way she'll be satisfied, if she thinks we went out and there was no spark, she'll be ok with the dream and all. It won't be bad, I swear! I'll take you round Hogsmeade and buy you stuff all day and then that'll be it."
Hermione was not convinced. As she opened her mouth to refuse, Seamus cut in again and said, "Plus, it will help you with certain easily angered red-heads."
Hermione couldn't speak at that, so she settled for sputtering indignantly.
Seamus laughed. "It's no secret, Hermione. Maybe this is the kick in the arse he needs."
She shook her head slowly. "It's no use, Seamus. I've already tried making him jealous. It didn't work."
"Well now," Seamus murmured, "Krum is in a whole different country. Bit different when the bloke is in the same spot as the bird."
Hermione considered. "You think?"
Seamus nodded slowly. "Definitely. It would drive me bonkers, anyway."
After a moment, Hermione nodded decisively. "Okay, Seamus, I'll do it."
He broke into a huge grin. "Really? Really?"
She laughed at him. "Yes, really!"
Emboldened, Seamus swept her up into a huge bear hug, lifting her off her feet for a moment.
"Thanks so much, Hermione," he grinned at her again, then took off up to the 6th year boys dormitory.
Hermione walked slowly back towards her study table, totally unfazed to see Harry's wide eyed expression and Ron's fierce scowl.
As she sat back down, Harry inquired, "What was that about?"
"Oh, nothing," Hermione murmured softly. "Seamus just asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him."
Ron choked out, "What?"
Hermione steadfastly ignored him.
Harry leaned closer. "And?"
Hermione smiled tremulously. "I said yes."
Ron abruptly got to his feet, shoving books and parchment into his bag. "Done studying," he muttered, then left without another word.
Harry waited a beat after Ron's departure, then asked quietly, "What's going on?"
Hermione spilled the entire story out to him, reasoning that Seamus had never said she couldn't tell Harry.
Harry shook his head and muttered, "You know how he reacted to Krum. I hope you know what you're doing."
Hermione sighed. "I hope so, too."
****************************
Ron pummeled his pillow for the fiftieth time.
How could this be happening?
Hermione and Seamus?
It just…..wasn't possible.
She was always rolling her eyes and him and Dean for being immature and girl crazy. She had put them in the same "ridiculous" category as Fred and George. Come to think of it, she'd used that word in reference to him more than once. Maybe she liked ridiculous boys. Maybe all that sighing indignantly and head shaking was just for form? What if she liked the kind of guy that misbehaved?
No way, he finally reasoned. Not Hermione.
So what then, could this possibly mean?
Could she be trying to make him jealous?
He had thought they had come to an understanding of sorts, over the summer. He had bravely touched her cheek once, and she had laid her head on his shoulder. Didn't she realize what that meant? Okay, so maybe he had purposefully ignored her the first few weeks of term. He didn't know how to act around her now. He was sure that she knew that he…..fancied her a bit, and shouldn't that be enough? He wasn't the type of bloke with pretty words and grand gestures. He'd leave that sort of thing to heroes like Harry and rich prats like Malfoy.
He was just Ron Weasley.
Maybe that wasn't good enough for her anymore.
Blankly, Ron wondered if he could charm his pillow to suffocate him and put him out of his misery.
He reckoned he could.
*******************
Hogsmeade Saturday fell on a beautiful fall day, with just the right temperature breeze flowing through the air.
The town's happy, vibrant atmosphere was dimmed somewhat by the presence of Aurors at practically every five feet of sidewalk. Mothers clutched their children closely and the sheer size of the weekend crowd was much less than it should have been.
Harry had remained at Hogwarts, along with Ginny. It was simply too dangerous for him to be anywhere else.
Ron had promised to bring him back an armful of sweets to help ease the sting.
Privately, Ron thought Harry was getting the better part of the deal, getting to snog his girl in an empty Common Room.
Yes, he knew. He wasn't that thick.
He had ignored Hermione all week. He knew it was wrong and petty, but he wanted to somehow punish her for the way she was hurting him. He preferred not to dwell on the fact that he was hurting himself by not taking a chance and truly telling her how he felt.
Stupid, bloody Seamus, he thought furiously. Ron would've eventually got round to doing something, but Seamus had popped up and ruined everything.
He shot an evil glare to his left, where, among the rest of Gryffindor, Hermione and Seamus were talking animatedly to one another and laughing. Dean had run off to the sweets shop for some every flavor beans. Lavender looked heartbroken; Ron could tell she'd been crying. Parvati had a comforting arm round her waist, and was whispering something to her.
Funny, now that he thought of it, he'd never found out exactly why they'd broken up.
He watched mournfully and Seamus and Hermione took off in another direction, blending immediately into the crowd. He saw Lavender and Parvati break off from the rest of the group as well.
Deciding he couldn't help himself, he moved over to Lavender and asked quietly, "Uhm, I was just wondering…why….did you and Seamus break up?"
Lavender sniffed. "What do you care?"
Ron sighed. "I just do, that's all."
Lavender's eyes welled up and she whispered in a shaky voice, "Because he's in love with Hermione."
Ron felt like a hippogriff had just rammed its beak straight through his heart.
'He- he said that?"
Lavender moaned, "He didn't have to! I sensed it."
Wait a tick….
"You…sensed it?"
Lavender nodded furiously. She took a moment to blow her nose, then replied, "He told me he had a dream about her." At this, she blushed. "A sexual one."
Ron blinked. "So?"
"So?" Lavender shrieked. "So obviously, she's his true heart's desire!"
Ron snorted. "If that's true, then you, Hermione, Parvati, and Padma having a naked pillow fight while covered in treacle sauce is my true heart's desire."
It was Lavender's turn to blink. "Wha-?
Ron grinned. He felt suddenly lighter. "Listen, dreams like that, they're, well it's just something that happens to blokes. Regularly. Frequently. Almost daily. All the time. Doesn't mean anything. It's just-" Ron shrugged, "puberty."
Lavender's eyes dried up miraculously fast, and she showed she was returning to her old self with a quick flip of her hair. "I thought Seamus was just saying that!"
Parvati grinned, squeezed Ron's bicep suggestively, then murmured, "So treacle sauce, hmmm?"
Ron smirked. "It's my favorite."
They all shared a laugh, before Ron muttered grudgingly, "I'd better find them before Hermione decides she likes him better."
Lavender patted his cheek. "Don't worry Ron, I think you'll do."
It took over an hour for Ron and Lavender to track down Seamus and Hermione. Parvati had caught up with Dean and they had left Ron and Lavender to their own devices, opting for ice cream instead of the drama that was about to unfold.
Hermione and Seamus were sitting down at a little sidewalk café, next to a beautiful fountain that brought forth a cooling mist that swirled softly all around. Ron took a deep breath, walked up to their table, and plopped himself right down next to the love of his life.
"Ron!" Hermione hissed, startled half to death.
"So," Ron looked from one to the other, "make a love connection yet?"
They both blushed furiously.
Lavender approached the table timidly. "Hey, Seamus."
In response, Seamus stood up so fast he knocked over his Fizzing Whizbee.
"Lavender," he breathed, taking a tentative step closer.
"I'm so sorry, I was stupid! Can you ever forgive me?"
"Course I can," Seamus murmured, pulling her into a hug.
Lavender sniffed, and graced Seamus with a trembling smile.
Ron and Hermione, both slightly uncomfortable, did their best to look away from the happy couple.
"C'mon," Seamus urged. "Let's go."
Lavender nodded and started to move, then stopped, fixing Hermione with an odd little stare.
"What is it, love?" Seamus murmured to her.
"I'm sorry," she burst out. "I can't help thinking, well, there's just the tiniest part of me that worries-"
"Fine!" Seamus burst out. "We'll settle this once and for ruddy all."
He turned towards Hermione.
"Can I kiss you?" he demanded fiercely.
Ron immediately clenched the tablecloth so he wouldn't tackle Seamus and beat him to a bloody, stinking Irish pulp. Hermione went purple. "What?"
Seamus sighed. "She'll never really believe I don't feel anything unless we kiss."
Hermione shook her head. "I can't!"
"Why not?"
"Because!" Hermione burst out. "It'd be my first kiss, and it should be…special."
Seamus banged his head against the table in frustration.
Then Lavender's cool, calm tone rang out, "Ron, be a dear and kiss Hermione so as you're her first, which she's been dying for you to do by the way, so that Seamus can kiss her and we can leave?"
Ron's head was a jumbled hurricane of thoughts. First kiss? First? That's means Krum didn't….they never….YES! Wait, dying for me to do? Really? Oh, wow, I can do this. I can do this…I can, "Mrhpppp!"
Hermione had tired of waiting for him to finish his inner monologue, and had taken the initiative. Ron didn't seem to much mind, though.
His arms came up around her waist and pulled her closer. Hermione melted. He was…..oh wow…….wherever had he learn that maneuver? It seemed like eons had passed and yet no time at all when they parted, out of breath and flushed.
"Right then," Seamus interjected, grabbing Hermione by her hand and tugging her to him, then kissing her fiercely for a moment before letting her go.
"See?" he roared at Lavender. "Nothing! Now let's go make ou- I mean, up."
They were gone within seconds.
Ron stared at Hermione's lower lip, which she had begun to bite on. Hermione looked down for a moment, then bravely met his gaze.
Ron cleared his throat nervously. "So…..uh…hi."
Hermione giggled softly. "Hi, Ron."
She grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers together. Ron stared down at their joined hands for a moment, then grinned back up at her. She met his gaze, and Ron was terrified to see tears shining in them. Oh no, there wasn't going to be any of that. Weasley men did not handle tears well at all.
"Er…uh…so, who was better?"
"What?" she questioned incredulously.
Ron gave her his best devilish, dead sexy grin, the one he practiced in the mirror.
"Who. Was. Better?"
Hermione cocked her head to the side.
"Well, now, I'd have to give that some thought. You were good, but Seamus did this thing with his tongue that was just-" Hermione broke off into gales of laughter at the look on Ron's face.
"Honestly, Ron," she breathed once her laughter subsided, "That's not an answer I can readily give. I need to evaluate your technique some more. That ok?"
Ron responded by pulling her into his lap and feasting on her lips.
It was a long while before they stopped, and a while still before Ron was comfortable standing up in public for the leisurely walk back to Hogwarts.
Fin
PS- I have a feeling people will say there wasn't enough sexy innuendo, which I believe I can safely say is one of my trademarks. Since the next one will have way too much, I didn't want to go overboard and blow anybody's panties off. Get it? Blow? Heehee.
Review, I'm insecure. And PMSing at the moment.