A/N:Well, this is a brand-new cracky/humorous DRRR fic, based on a random urge I had to depict Masaomi as a singer named Linda Linda. So in this fic, Masaomi wants nothing more than to become a singer, and he does just that, running away and becoming a singer...without telling his friends. Naturally, they're pissed off at him for doing that.
Chapter 1 The birth of Linda Linda (or a star is born, to use that hackneyed, cliched phrase)
"All I want to do is sing," A young seven-year old boy said to himself as he swung by himself on the swingset in his yard. The brunette's golden eyes were downcast, as he swung it slowly, his legs touching the ground slowly, lazily.
His gaze went up to the sun, as he slowly swung forward, more and more, a bright smile decorating his face as he did so. "...The idol takes his place on stage. Everyone is watching him. This is the big moment he's been waiting for, his whole life!" He exclaimed, to an imaginary audience.
He looked up at the window of his house for a moment, and could see his mother out there, smiling happily at him. She used to be a former singer herself, and so encouraged him in following his dreams. Even though she worked long hours, she still made time for her son and loved him dearly, just as he loved her. She was ill at times, but other than that, they lived a happy, peaceful, normal life. But he wanted something more.
He wanted to stand out from his classmates. He wanted to be somebody. Someone famous. He'd seen all the celebrities on TV and he idolized them, he wanted to be just like that one day. The boy's name was Kida Masaomi. The seven-year old brunette opened his mouth and sang loudly, in a voice that was surprisingly not bad for someone his age.
He was unaware of the fact that his best friend, Mikado Ryuugamine, was currently looking for his friend and had paused upon hearing the voice, wondering who sounded so good.
Masaomi repeated the lyrics, singing them to himself, knowing how good he sounded, and enjoying every moment of his fantasy.
Mikado wandered closer to the singer, and his eyes widened as he saw that it was none other than Masaomi singing. "Wow, Masaomi, that's so good!"
This caused the young boy to fall off the swing in shock. "Hey, Mikado, don't interrupt me when I'm singing!"
"Sorry," Mikado said, blushing. "You're really good."
"Don't tell anyone at school," Masaomi hissed, "I want this to be a secret."
"Okay. What's your dream?"
"To become a singer, of course! An idol that everyone will know and admire!" Masaomi exclaimed.
Mikado couldn't stop laughing all the way home, despite Masaomi's protests.
"My mother tells me it's impossible for people to become singers," He said to Masaomi, which caused the brunette's cheeks to flush.
"Well, I will! I'll show you, I'm going to become the biggest sensation there is!"
Mikado awoke from his dream. "I wonder why I dreamed about Masaomi again, when he's not even...here with me anymore."
He did his best to wipe the tears from his eyes, but it was no use. They came down his face, anyway.
He frowned. "How long has it been since Masaomi disappeared? Wasn't it a year ago..."
He remembered the letter that Masaomi had left him, a brief note...telling him he was sick and tired of Ikebukuro, and of being the Yellow Scarves' Shogun, so he was leaving Ikebukuro. He didn't know how long he'd be gone and when he'd see them again. Still, he had told Mikado to call him or text him and he would definitely respond back. However, he hadn't done so.
The majority of emails he had sent him went largely unanswered, which meant Masaomi had definitely read over them, but why hadn't he responded? Something bigger was going on. Something he couldn't tell Mikado about. And he was angry with him.
After all, the blond had felt comfortable enough to tell Mikado he was a gang leader one night, and then Mikado had confessed about being the leader of the Dollars. At which the other two had shared a rare laugh, and told each other to take care. Masaomi looked so relieved that day, before he had left. It was like he was so happy he could explode.
"What are you doing, Masaomi?" He remarked.
Elsewhere, a certain informant was wondering the same thing. His favorite puppet, Masaomi was gone. And he didn't know where he was. Which pissed him off beyond measure, just like how his little sisters pissed him off.
Today they were whining about idols. Ruri Hijiribe was on, singing a song that the twins were going gaga over, while Izaya had his head in his hands at their sheer stupidity. Pop songs were vapid and stupid.
"Ruri-sama's so awesome!"
Ruri's song ended, and she bowed and wandered off the stage as the excited reporter said, "And now, we bring you to the last person in this show, the idol, the one you've all waited to see...the one, the only...LINDA LINDA!"
Instantly, cheers and screams could be heard from the crowd, most of them girls.
izaya raised a brow in bewilderment. "Linda Linda...who the hell is that?"
"He's only the cutest idol around, Iza-nii!" Mairu chirped.
"Like...his...music." Kururi said dully. But she was blushing as an energetic voice could be heard from over the roars of the crowd as a familiar sprightly teenager came on screen.
"YOOOO, HOW IS EVERYONE DOING TODAY? MINNA GENKI? THIS IS ME, LINDA LINDA!"
The girls cheered even more, but Izaya's mouth fell open upon seeing a familiar blond-haired youth standing on screen, holding a microphone in his hands and wearing a stage outfit.
"Masaomi-kun?" He said, in disbelief, as the blond-haired teen smirked at his fans and winked at them, blowing them all a kiss, at which the girls all screamed even louder. Mairu and Kururi let out squeals of excitement.
"IZA-NII, HE'S AWESOME! I WANNA MARRY HIM!"
"...He's...amazing." Kururi said.
Izaya's mouth was wide open the whole time as the spunky blond did an energetic number and the crowd followed suit, until Linda bowed and exited the stage.
"...What the hell is going on here...?" Izaya remarked, very frustrated. "Masaomi-kun needs to be my puppet, not some stupid singer."
"Well, Linda, you're doing quite well," Linda Linda's manager, Sosaka Aizawa said, as he handed Linda his paycheck for the month. Linda flipped through the money, smiling broadly.
"To think you thought I was a nobody at first." Linda, or Masaomi Kida, said with a smile.
"Yeah, you came in through the doors of the talent agency, demanding to become a singer. What were we supposed to think?" He said, settling down in his chair and stifling a smile back. The young man was so exuberant and talented. However, he was innocent of the dark side of fame. He would only become aware of it all too soon.
Linda flipped open his phone as it buzzed, showing a new message. It was from one Mikado Ryuugamine.
'MASAOMI KIDA, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WANTED TO BE A SINGER?'
Linda jumped, and almost dropped his phone in shock.
'Mikado, how did you get my new text number? I haven't told anyone.' He typed back.
A reply came back a second later. 'One of your fans gave it to me. Couldn't you at least have told me you wanted to be a singer?'
'I did when we were kids, stupid. And the name's Linda now. Please call me it. I have stalkers, you know.' Linda texted back.
'Oh,' Mikado texted back.
Linda facepalmed. 'Let's talk in private on the Dollars chatroom later tonight. I have to sleep for a bit and rest up. Talk to you later.'
'Wait, Masaomi-' Mikado texted, but Linda had already hung up.
"Sheesh, old friends can be a pain," He muttered, stifling a yawn. "Who would've thought becoming a celebrity would mean my own friend would become jealous?"