Time for a Change - Chapter 1
*Set after the performance of "Creep" in Guilty Pleasures*
As Rachel got off the subway and made her way back to the apartment she shared with Kurt and Santana, she went over in her mind the previous events of the day.
She had found out that her boyfriend (or rather, ex boyfriend) Brody was a gigolo, as Santana vulgarly put it. Kurt had tried to be a good best gay and keep the secret from her until after her Funny Girl audition. She could see Kurt's reason as to why he would keep such a secret from her, but Santana was right; she needed to know for her own good. Rachel had felt angry and hurt at first, shutting herself in her room for hours pondering over the revelation. She didn't want to believe that the guy she had been seeing and sharing a bed with was selling his body for dirty work. But she had straightened up, and gone to confront him at NYADA that afternoon.
She found him in one of the studios, standing by a piano. When she confronted him, pressing money into his hand and revealing his secret only to then throw the money angrily at his stupid face, he became defensive. He stated that he only did it to pay for his NYADA fees and that in no way was he proud of it. Rachel couldn't care less if he had liked it, she was still angry at him for lying to her, and at herself, for being so stupid by trusting him. He had pointed out that she hadn't been completely honest with him either, knowing that she had slept with Finn at Mr. Shue's wedding and that he had given Brody a black eye. Rachel didn't deny the pain she felt in her heart at that moment, her unhealed heartache for Finn, and the anger inside her at her actions.
They had a 'mature break up' as she liked to call it, ending by dueting on Radiohead's "Creep". As the song reached it's climax and neared the end, Rachel had a lot of thoughts running through her mind. "What am I doing with my life? This isn't the reason I came to New York. I came to New York to be the star I've always dreamed of being, not to date a male hooker, completely change aspects of my personality and image whilst growing up way too fast at the same time"
As the song finished and they parted ways on the stage without another look or word to each other, she realised that she needed a change. It was time to go back to her old self, old clothes and start again.
When Rachel reached the apartment, she went straight to her wardrobe and began to take out everything that was the colour black. Black didn't suit her, bright colours like pink, yellow and red did. She felt a sense of satisfaction as she tossed them into a pile onto her bed and heard footsteps in her doorway.
"Having a clean out are we?" Kurt asked, as he wandered over to inspect the clothes on Rachel's bed, picking up various items and trying to comprehend what she was doing.
"I've had a reality check. I didn't come here to completely change who I am deep down. I came here to be a star, whilst at the same time not changing who I am. I may not go back to reindeer sweaters, but I'm definitely not wearing anything black ever again, unless it's for a performance" Rachel said from her wardrobe where she was putting some of her old clothes back in that she had kept in secret, in a suitcase under her bed. She stood back and admired her work before moving onto her dressing table, sorting through her make-up. She tossed out all her thick black eye liner and mascara, only deciding to keep the natural tones. She put her curling iron back in the draw, deciding that she didn't need a lot of curls to look beautiful and that straight hair suited her a lot better.
"So, what are you going to do with all these non Rachel Berry clothes?" Kurt asked from her bed.
"I don't know, I might see if Santana wants any of them, otherwise I might as well give them to charity" Rachel shrugged as she began to neatly fold them.
"What would Santana want?" Santana said as she appeared all of a sudden in Rachel's room. Rachel looked up at her friend and indicated to the clothes on her bed.
"I thought you might want some of these, black seems to be more your colour, not mine" Santana walked over to Rachel's bed and looked at the clothes.
"As kind as that is Berry, I don't really fancy dressing like a hooker, no offence. What has made you come to this anyway?" Santana asked, crossing her arms and looking Rachel. Rachel shrugged her shoulders and sat down on her bed with Kurt.
"I ended it with Brody this afternoon, as you were expecting. Strangely enough, whilst I do feel a bit heartbroken, at the same time I feel like it's forced me to take a really hard look at where my life is going at the moment and make some changes" Santana smiled, pleased that her friend was finally coming to her senses.
"I'm glad Rachel. I mean, I'm sorry that you're going through yet another break up, but really you don't need him. He was leading you to make all these wrong decisions, and we, Kurt and I, are helping you make the right ones. What do you think would have happened if Kurt hadn't voiced his opinion when you were cast in that student film to do a topless scene, or if Quinn and I hadn't come all the way out here to do an intervention? Brody wasn't a good influence on you Rachel, whilst he was slightly good looking for a man made out of plastic, and I can't believe that I'm saying this, but Finn was the only good man that you will ever have" Santana stood up and left Rachel's room, leaving her with Kurt.
"Are you mad? I mean you were the one who gave me the makeover and told me to change my style a little so that I wouldn't feel like I was the dorky girl being picked on for her clothing choices" Rachel asked as she turned to Kurt. He smiled and shook his head at her.
"No Rachel, I want you to be happy. I know, I thought a makeover would make you feel refreshed and ready to embrace New York, but when your make – up started getting heavier, and your clothes darker, I realised that you might just be getting carried away. I totally agree with you when you say that it's time to make some changes and not hide who you truly are underneath. Now, come on, I'll help you take this to the charity shop" She and Kurt picked up the clothes of her pretend self and carried them downstairs and across the road.
When they came back to the apartment, Rachel went back to her bedroom and stared at her new wardrobe. She smiled and thought "This is who I'm supposed to be"