Littl' Bundle of Joy, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

Title: Littl' Bundle of Joy

Author: Kenkaya

Genres: Family/Humor/Romance

Rating: PG-13, Teen (for some brief citrus content)

Pairing: KaoruXKenshin

Sum: Raising children is tough work, not for the faint of heart. Kenshin and Kaoru are learning this lesson the hard way.

A/N: A Mother's Day fic that turned into a Father's Day fic because I wasn't satisfied with it back in May and needed a lot time to tweak it (my life's so insanely busy now...)

xxxxxx

"Loosen those shoulders, Outa-kun, your kata are getting sloppy. Kazuki! Stop laughing and straighten up! That stance isn't much better!"

"Yes, sensei!"

Kaoru's chest swelled with pride at the title. Posture exuding dignity, she stood regally at the dojo's head: feet akimbo and long black hair swept high in her usual ponytail for work. She watched critically as her students (fifteen by a quick head count) lifted their bamboo swords in unison, arching them swiftly through the air before slicing downwards with a collective 'whoosh!' The swordswoman smiled, opening her mouth to praise and criticize accordingly.

"Like this, sensei?"

She nodded once in response, still beaming at her handiwork. A little farther down the hall she spotted Yahiko, lecturing his designated group of small children with typical, exaggerated confidence. Her grin (if physically possible at this point) widened. The shuffle of tabi on sand-smoothed wood, the whistle of swinging shinai, followed by a subsequent "Ha!" filled the surrounding air with resonance. It had taken years of hard work (not to mention a slew of trials and tribulations), but she had truly brought the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu back to life. Kaoru's dream, passed down from father to daughter, had finally become a reality.

"Alright, that's enough!" she clapped her hands for attention. "It's getting late, let's call it a day! We'll continue tomorrow morning!"

"Hai!" the entire student body turned toward her in perfect unison for their final respectful bow. Now, the day was done.

One by one, students filtered outside, Kaoru and Yahiko bringing up the rear. Some lingered behind to loiter on the porch a while, laughing loudly as they boasted to each other of their accomplishments. The distinct bowl-cut of class clown, Kazuki, was easily spotted within the crowd: dead center. He seemed to be telling some exaggerated story, if the flailing gestures were anything to go by. Another boy (Jirou, she recalled) playfully antagonized him as the tale grew more and more outrageous. Their teacher simply stood there, reveling in the uplifting display of camaraderie. Yes, as far as Kaoru was concerned, nothing could possibly ruin this moment.

A toddler's delightful shriek shattered the moment with all the subtlety of a hammer through glass.

"Oro! Kenji! Come back!"

Kaoru visibly stiffened- nothing good could come of this. Oh, make no mistake, the woman loved her family dearly: her husband was considerate and doting almost to a fault, Yahiko had practically become a brother (albeit a pesky one), and then there was Kenji. Her sweet little boy. Even so, affection for them aside, she knew better than to underestimate their ability to embarrass her beyond all reason.

A collective uproar ushered the coming of her great dread. Kaoru peeked over a shaking shoulder just in time to see her adorable, darling Kenji running clumsily around the dojo yard, naked as the day he was born and giggling shrilly at the top of his miniature lungs. Kenshin was hot on the child's heels with a clean towel in hand. His long magenta sleeves were tied back for housework, soapsuds covering thin muscular arms from the elbow down. He looked positively domestic.

"Kenji-chan! We're not done with your bath! We're not!"

The group watched in morbid fascination as the once feared Hitokiri Battousai trotted across the Kamiya grounds doubled over, hands grasping at thin air as his son's small body wriggled deftly between them. Kaoru felt her face flush abnormally hot. Trust her husband to happen upon the worst possible audience while being defeated by a willful two year-old.

"Kenji-chan!"

Another bout of laughter followed Kenji's round butt cheeks as they disappeared around the dojo corner with a gleeful squeal, Kenshin in close pursuit. Kaoru could only stand there in shock, fairly certain her skin had managed a decent imitation of cooked lobster by now. She had never felt so humiliated in her entire life!

A suppressed snort brought the mortified woman back to reality. She immediately turned on the self-proclaimed "Tokyo samurai" to her left, one arm hugging his stomach desperately while the other hand was fisted and shoved hastily in his mouth. Kaoru glared daggers at the boy, daring him to retort. He choked a couple more times, barely managing to control himself long enough to return her challenging stare with an ear-splitting grin of his own.

"Don't worry, Kaoru. I won't say anything," Yahiko assured, smiling sweetly. She met his act of uncharacteristic kindness with a mixed bag of relief and skepticism.

"Nothing I have could possible do this situation justice, anyway."

Open-palms-met-face in classic fashion as Yahiko cackled loudly. He just had to open his mouth and remove all doubt, didn't he? She should have known it was too good to be true.

This whole day was too good to be true!

xxxxxx

Apparently, she spoke too soon.

"No!"

Kaoru sighed, blowing a stray wisp of hair out of her eyes while she mulled over those famous last words at the supper table. That thought was then followed by a healthy dose of cursing whatever sadistic deity decided to give her child the pickiest eating habits in Japan.

"Look, Kenji-chan! It's rice! Say ahh!" she mimicked the sound comically, holding a decent-sized morsel out toward her obstinate son. Across the polished table sat their usual dinner group: Kenshin, Yahiko (who took it upon himself to personally continue Sano's freeloading ways), and temporary houseguest, Higashidani Outa.

"No! No rice!" Kenji screamed, flailing his stubby arms in protest. A small hand smacked the chopsticks from her fingers with an upward motion, unintentionally flinging the offered food back directly into his mother's face. The boy blinked identical blue eyes at her not-so-blank expression before releasing a high-pitched giggle.

"Mama eat it!"

Kaoru wondered idly, as she picked clumps of rice out of her hair, just how such a tiny body was capable of producing such disproportionately loud noise. Behind frontlines, she could see Yahiko had fallen to the floor, laughing hysterically, while Outa merely looked on with a sheepish smile. Her husband (wisely) remained silent and stoic throughout his wife's ordeal.

"No, Kenji-chan?" Kaoru coaxed once more, making sure to keep potential ammunition out of firing range this time. "Not even one bite? Come on, its very good," especially since your father cooked today, she added mentally, though Heaven would fall and Shishio surrender Hell before she admitted that aloud. Certainly not with her most disrespectful student hyperventilating on the ground barely four feet away.

"Um… Yahiko-sempai?" Outa questioned in the background as he stretched out a tentative foot to poke said youth. Something between an inward wheeze and choked cough was his only response. "I think you broke him, sensei."

"Nonsense! You can't break what's already broken," Kaoru retorted automatically. She made absolutely no attempt to mask her internal struggle over whether or not to strangle the aspiring samurai. Honestly, she fumed, one would almost suspect him of coming over for free entertainment the way he was carrying on.

"I… if I'm… broken… wh… at does that make… you?" Yahiko gasped as anger kicked in, causing his fit to subside. "You're letting a… a two-year-old push you around!"

"Oh? And you think you can do better?" she arched a devious eyebrow at his rude affirmative. "Maybe you're right… perhaps it takes a child to understand a child. Eh, Yahiko-chan?"

"You tryin' to start something, hag?!" he bellowed, palms slamming the tabletop as he rose menacingly.

"H… hag?!" the indignant woman sputtered, jumping up to meet his challenge.

"Yeah, you heard me. Look more like a grandma than a mother if you ask me."

"Why you…"

"Here go the hens again," Outa muttered with an exasperated eye-roll. Kenshin found himself unable to completely suppress his amusement at their guest's blunt commentary. The boy was usually polite and reserved on the surface, but brief moments like these served to remind the world that (despite the combed down hair) he was indeed Sanosuke's younger brother.

"Brat!" Kaoru yelled, throwing the empty chopsticks in hand at her offender's head. A muttered curse was heard as her aim hit its mark dead center.

"Ugly!" Yahiko countered, followed immediately by the sound of ceramic shattering as an unfinished rice bowl met the wall opposite.

"Ha! You missed!"

"Now, now," Kenshin decided to intervene before any more property (or bodily) damage resulted. "Yahiko, that's enough. Kaoru, it's already starting to get dark. Why don't you finish feeding Kenji?"

She stared, mouth gaping fish-like at their impromptu peacekeeper. But, her brain attempted to move past that last sentence and failed, we're married… he's supposed to be on my side! The nerve of him! Shock melted in the wake of intense fury, before a grand idea suddenly hit her. Yes, the enraged woman grinned devilishly, her husband was about learn who was really boss around here! Kenshin had the decency to look nervous when she turned on him.

"You know, Kenshin," she spoke with a sugary falsetto tone. "Kenji sure has made a mess of himself. I think he might need another bath when we're done."

Everyone at the table fell silent as the redhead nearly choked on his own tongue stuttering. It was a queer sight indeed: the infamous ex-assassin and once wandering swordsman hunched over, wearing a deer-caught-in-headlights expression while struggling to conjure some miracle escape from the verbal corner his lovingly ruthless wife had trapped him in. Kaoru merely hedged him on with an obliging smile. She could already smell victory.

"Um… uh," Kenshin jumped up quickly, raising both hands in a placating manner as he began to shuffle backwards slowly. "I think I'll get started on the dishes now."

Kaoru smirked triumphantly, watching him make an unnecessarily stealthy retreat. Oh yes, she imagined herself laughing manically (her daydream easily putting Takani Megumi to shame,) that one had certainly shut him up good. I'll have to remember that one…

"Best swordsman in all of Japan and completely whipped," Yahiko whispered loudly to Outa, effectively ruining her moment. The younger boy had enough self-preservation instinct to scoot away before their teacher unleashed her full wrath on the obnoxious teenager.

"Ya… hi… ko!" she enunciated each syllable. "I'll teach you not to respect…"

"I… I think I'll retire for the evening! Goodnight!" Outa said a little too quickly as he broke into a mad dash toward the hall, leaving Yahiko alone to face demon incarnate.

"Um… I didn't… hey! Kaoru!"

"Don't 'hey Kaoru' me! Come back here and face your punishment like a man!"

"More! More!" Kenji applauded clumsily in the background, his childish laughter soon accompanied by Yahiko's pained screams.

xxxxxx

Night had fallen over the Meiji-Tokyo cityscape at last, bringing with it blessed quiet as Himura Kenji (after much trial and error) finally succumbed to sleep. Crickets chirped alongside his soft baby snores, drowning out the faint buzz of moths as they converged on the only light left in the dark building: a single candle flickered in the room next door, illuminating his harried mother while she prepared for bed.

Kaoru sighed contently, basking in the all-too-fleeting peace as she slid a wooden comb smoothly through her jet-black hair. She had already changed into a pale blue sleeping yukata and easily fell into the mechanical action of braiding her hair. She began to hum softly, left hand reaching for the ribbon on her lap, when a pair of strong arms embraced her from behind.

"Kenshin," she murmured, sliding her body around to face him. The dim candlelight reflected beautifully off his messy red hair and shadows danced teasingly across the sharp angles of his face. He had already removed his gi (much to her delight), leaving his bare, toned chest open to admiration. It was a view his wife definitely appreciated. Nightly routine forgotten, Kaoru leaned in for a long, lazy kiss.

The lazy kiss began to morph into something more heated as a calloused hand slipped under the fold of her yukata and left a trail of ghostly pressure up her thigh. Not one to be out done, Kaoru traced his chiseled bicep with her fingertips, her other hand tugging with practiced ease at his white hakama ties. Kenshin's lips found their way to the crook of her neck as she worked, immediately locking on to that one sensitive spot-

"Mama? Papa?"

And the mood instantly died. Kaoru felt Kenshin's forehead fall against her shoulder with a resigned thump. She swore she heard a fabric-muffled 'oro' from the area around her chest as well.

"What is it, Kenji-chan?" she managed to ask without irritation coloring her tone.

"Bed's wet."

Of course, Kaoru inwardly groaned. Their son was a serial bed-wetter and, judging from her husband's guilty look every time it happened, she had a sneaking suspicion which side of the family tree that particular trait ran on.

"I'll take care of the sheets," Kenshin mumbled before pulling back. He gave her an apologetic peck on the lips and left to fulfill his role.

Kaoru sighed woefully at the lost opportunity. Just when we were getting started! Oh well, I guess there's no use crying over spilt miso. She turned toward the toddler standing in their doorway, trying to discreetly fix her mussed yukata as she did so.

"Well, kid… how about we get you into some dry clothes."

xxxxxx

When Kenshin returned from the laundry pile an hour later, Kenji was already changed and fast asleep on their futon. He stood in the doorway, watching as his son rolled over to curl against his exhausted mother. Though the chaos of family life often overwhelmed quiet moments like these, the precious few served to remind the couple that there was joy as well.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru called out in a sleep muddled voice. "Can you blow out the candle on your way to bed?"

"Of course."

With a wistful smile, the former assassin changed into his green sleeping yukata, extinguished the candle, and went to bed. He fell asleep with his arms around his wife; their son nestled snuggly between them.

xxxxxx

Owari

(The End)