Chapter 1

The jet black Chevrolet cruised down the highway at an incredible rate swerving side to side dodging cars and switching lanes with no indication. Drivers held up rude gestures but the one driving didn't care. Neither did any of the unfortunate passengers. This was the Mishima family car.

"Remind me again why the hell we are doing this?" Kazuya asked in the front passenger seat.

Heihachi, the driver, frowned and glanced over his shoulder to make sure his middle finger was seen by the car behind him and then replied "Our family therapist told us that we should do some bonding and what better than a holiday in a nice hotel next to a beach with swimming pools, a karate dojo, carnivals, theme parks, candy floss, cheese, chocolate… Oh! And cake! Everybody loves cake."

Kazuya sighed "You can get cake anywhere!"

Heihachi pulled hard on the wheel making the car skid left "Well you were outvoted."

Jin's head popped up from the middle back seat "Yeah, so stop being all broody." He then sat back down bashing the buttons on his PSP.

Kazuya rubbed at his temple and rested his head on the glass of the car window "Stupid son…" he mumbled to himself.

As the car swerved dangerously, everyone in the car didn't seem to notice and moved with it like it was the normal action for a car to do. Heihachi, being such an intimidating guy financially and physically, was never pulled over by police or given tickets. Apart from a few years ago when he parked near a fire hydrant and some random person came, tsked-tsked and received a punch in the face instantly knocking him out cold and it sent him hurtling into a brick wall. And that was the only time Heihachi was criticized for his parking/driving.

"DIE YOU ASS!" Jin cried out jumping up and down on his seat playing Tekken on his PSP.

Kazuya turned to face him and saw that Jin was playing as himself against… Well… Against Jin. Confused and a little scared Kazuya turned back and didn't ask questions.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I DIED!" Jin screeched even louder making Heihachi wince and retaliate by flicking Kazuya's seat back so that it crushed his annoying grandson and in addition, causing his son to fly backwards.

Jin flailed about, his cries muffled by the leather chair. Kazuya shook his head and was about to fix his seat and give his father a punch in the face but realized that Jin was in pain and decided to relax.

With immense effort, Jin pushed the seat up a little using his legs but the force was already causing them to shake "Hey! What was that for!?"

Heihachi smirked "Oh nothing." He then turned to face Jin "You're just a dumbass." Kazuya grinned at this.

Heihachi glared at him "You are too." Kazuya responded by readjusting his seat and sliding lower in it with his arms folded muttering crude words.

"Why am I a dumbass?" Jin asked sitting up and rubbing his right shoulder.

Heihachi looked at him like he had just recited the welsh national anthem while dressed in a hula skirt and dancing the Macarena while juggling different types of Italian pasta and making it rain spaghetti "Because you just fought yourself-"

"And lost" Kazuya added.

Heihachi nodded then continued "and called yourself an ass… And I thought Kazuya had problems."

Kazuya and Jin frowned that frown they shared through blood and became quiet. Well, Kazuya was quiet anyway. Jin started leaning on the front seat's headrests humming "Summer Holiday".

"I thought this was supposed to be a family vacation with no rows, fights, swearing, throwing each other off cliffs or into volcanoes or betraying each other and then seeking vengeance through gruelling training and beating up innocent people." Kazuya stated after a few moments.

"Yes. It is. Doesn't mean we won't have a bit of a tiff now and then, though." Heihachi replied. He then said to both "And no morphing into devils to create destruction and chaos using the Mishima Zaibatsu as a main control point in order to take over the world."

"What!?" Kazuya and Jin replied simultaneously.

"But you never let me do that!" Kazuya added rather childishly.

"Aww man. I was looking forward to exploiting the Mishima Zaibatsu in order to take over the world…"Jin muttered

Heihachi sighed "I know… maybe when we get back."

"YAY!" The other two shouted. Jin started jumping up and down happily but Kazuya quickly realized how childish he was only a few seconds ago and regained his broody posture.

Suddenly, Jin's mobile phone rang playing "Barbie Girl". Kazuya and Heihachi turned to face Jin who started sweating and laughed worriedly "Uh… It's the ringing tone I chose so I know it's Xiaoyu ringing me!" he reached into his pocket pulling out a nice yellow and black Nokia with a cool swivel feature, blutooth, infrared, headset, 3 megapixels and lots of other bollocks nobody understands.

"Hi…………No It's not a bad time………. I'm going on vacation…….No……….No……….Yes…….No……….With my family……….What?...I can't call you that now……..It's embarrassing………My dad and grandpa are in the car….alright alright!...I love you baby……..Yes………..Of course I do………..Yeah I can't stop thinking about that too…….Hehe…. Yeah it was fun……………Oh I totally forgot about that!...Oh my god! I know!... She totally walked in on us!...Look I know it was your first time……But I have experience…….I know it was big and it looked like it wouldn't fit……But it did….. I know it went in the wrong hole and was meant to go in the front one……….. Yeah, why did you put it in your mouth?...Oh okay……..really? I gotta try that sometime!...Alright baby………I have to go anyway, my grandpa has just been sick all over my dad……..aww thanks baby………….sure……….will do………bye honeybunny………..okay………bye…………..yes………..byebye………..alright bye now!...bye!" he hung up just before Xiaoyu would start screaming that she loves him down the phone.

Heihachi pulled the car over and stumbled out clutching his stomach followed by Kazuya who cursed loudly making passerby's noses bleed from the depth of his crude words even though they sped past. He ripped his shirt off and tossed it aside not noticing the freezing cold air.

Jin hopped out of the car pulling his hood up "Wow, it's freezing out here!" He peered at Kazuya's vomit stained clothes and then inside the car "Good thing none of it got in the car!"

Kazuya grabbed him by his shirt front "You think this is funny!?"

Jin thought a bit and then replied "Yeah, pretty much." He landed on the ground with a thud as Kazuya dropped him and went around to the boot of the car and tore apart the contents looking for another set of clothes.

Heihachi stood and glared at Jin "What were you thinking!? Talking about… That kind of thing!?"

Jin frowned "What kind of thing? Nothing wrong with discussing how to hook up an Xbox, is there? Those things are hell!"

"An Xbox?" Heihachi stuttered "Oh… Well then… I guess it was your father's cooking that blew my gut upwards."

Kazuya peered around from the back "I only cooked because that idiot dared me to" He pointed to Jin.

"Yes but that could've killed me! The least you might of done was actually TURN the microwave on!"

"Kill you with your iron stomach? No way!" Jin laughed but then backed away from Heihachi's glare.

"I would have done so if Jin hadn't blown it up by using a manual for a Toaster as a guide to hooking it up. Anyway, if I didn't go along with the dare, he would've…" He shook his head "Never mind."

Heihachi looked to Jin who said "I'll tell you later."

After Kazuya changed into his purple suit and Heihachi had calmed his raging stomach, the three sat back in the car and continued the journey.

Half an hour into it, Jin awoke from his sleep because he's such a lazy ass he couldn't even stay awake on the five hour trip. The stench of uncooked cabbage and chicken had gone which is what probably made him pass out in the first place. His father was wearing his favourite pair of gloves (the awesome red ones with the silver balls in the shape of a triangle on it) and was fiddling with them clenching and unclenching his fists. Heihachi was leaning back in his chair, his hands behind his head and using his feet to drive.

"How long was I out?" Jin asked stretching and yawning.

"Not long enough." Kazuya said without looking back and making a fist.

Jin was bored. He started tapping out a tune on the leather seat while looking around for some means of entertainment. He then found a good beat with his tapping and jazzed it up a bit, nodding his head to the rhythm and adding DJ sounds with his mouth.

Kazuya clenched his teeth and his fists started to shake. Heihachi slapped him around the head in order abolish Kazuya's desire to kill.

"Jin." Heihachi said in a menacing tone. But he didn't stop "Jin… Jin!...JIN!!!"

"What!? What!?" Jin shouted.

"Stop being annoying."

"fine…" Jin now had to think of another thing to do. He held up his hand and spread his fingers wide. He placed his other index finger on his pinky and said "Bunny" he went onto the next and then the next "Bunny. Bunny. Bunny." And when it came to the dip between his left hand's index finger and thumb he traced it down saying "Oops." And landed on his thumb saying "Bunny." And then went back up "Oops." And continued with the other fingers at a fast speed. "Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Oops! Bunny. Oops! Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Oops! Bunny. Oops! Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Oops! Bunny. Oops! Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Oops! Bunny. Oops!" and so on and so forth.

Kazuya's red eye started twitching and he stared at the front of the car blankly trying to process the stupidity that was his son.

"Jin…" Heihachi warned again "Jin… Stop it… Jin! JIN! JJJJJJJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP IT YOU LITTLE BUGGER OR I'LL KILL YOU!" Heihachi dived into the back seat (ripping his seat belt) leaving Kazuya to control the car while leaning across from his own seat.

Jin screamed a girly scream and scrambled around the back trying to escape the bone-crunching hands that belonged to his grandfather "DAD! GRANDPA IS TRYING TO KILL MEEEEEE!"

"Yeah, I know." Kazuya then turned briefly "Great isn't it?" he grinned.

"I'M GOING TO SIT ON YOU!" Heihachi threatened.

"NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" Jin cried "I'll do anything! Please don't sit on me!"

Heihachi calmed "Will you stop being such a dumbass then?"

Jin nodded tears welling up in his eyes making small whimpering noises. Heihachi nodded, pleased with his power and authority and climbed back into his seat and took control of the car "It's easy to tell you're Kazuya's spawn…" he mumbled under his breath.

Kazuya glared at him but then turned to look out of his window Why am I tortured so? He thought.

"Are we nearly there yet?" Jin asked after quickly regaining his courage to be annoying again.

"No." Heihachi replied.

"Daddy?"

Kazuya grunted.

"Are we nearly there yet?"

"I said no!" Heihachi snapped.

Jin backed down like a kicked puppy "I was only asking… But if we're not there then where are we? We have to be somewhere."

"God give me strength!" Heihachi cried banging the steering wheel.

"We are on the motorway so shut up." Kazuya said almost venomously.

"Okay…" Jin said and a few moments later "But a motorway isn't a place. It's a thing."

Kazuya ripped out the glove compartment in front of him and threw Jin a pen and a crossword book.

"Crosswords?" Jin questioned almost sarcastically.

"Yes crosswords." Kazuya said "That will keep you busy."

Jin frowned at his father and then flipped open the book and started on one. After scratching his head sighing, scribbling, whining and grunts of frustration he finally decided to ask for help "Can you guys help me?"

"Kazuya?" Heihachi said as if passing the burden onto him.

"Can't talk, brain switched off, in ignoring mode." Kazuya replied eyes closed leaning on the window.

Heihachi sighed "Fine. Which one are you on?"

"The first one." Jin said ready to write with the pen.

Heihachi growled quietly "Alright, what's the clue?"

"Um… Five across… Clue is Canine breed."

"Try… Dog."

"Okay… There isn't enough letters!"

"You'll have to spell it wrong!"

"Alright… Um… V…Z...K…B…X"

"And?" Heihachi said impatiently.

"We have Vzkbx! So now six down… The clue is Bird… Now begins with 'Z'"

"A six letter bird name beginning with Z?" Heihachi frowned.

"I GOT IT!" Jin cried out "Zebra Bird!"

"Don't be stupid………… There are too many letters…"

"Well I'll spell it wrong like Vzkbx!" Jin suggested eagerly.

"Go on then!"

"But then… The next one would be eleven letters, clue is Pterosaur, now begins with Q!"

"Fine! Rub it out and back to the first one!"

"Alright…"

Heihachi sighed and scratched his head but then leapt up, almost out of his seat "I know! Cindy!"

"Cindy?" Jin moved back in his seat, freaked by his grandfather's sudden enthusiasm.

"You know… Cindy the dog! She was that dog Kazuya had that I flushed down the toilet!"

"Oh yeah! Great thinking! Oh… Hang on. Cindy only has four letters."

"Well you could make the 'C' really big so it would fill out the first two squares!"

"Good idea!... Well there's no room for the Y!" Jin was increasingly confused.

"God! Who writes these things! How are we meant to do a crossword if the words don't fit the box thingies!?" Heihachi said frustrated,

"I think I'll just stab it repeatedly with this pen."

"Now, now, Jin. Play properly or not at all."
Jin ripped the book, scrunched it up, and threw it "Fine then, not at all!" The paper bounced off the dashboard and hit Kazuya in the head.

He opened his eyes and looked down at the scrunched up crossword book and sighed "Jin… Another one?" He threw out the window.

"Well they are hard!" Jin replied now sulking "Grandpa gave me all the wrong answers!"

Heihachi looked hurt "I was trying just as much as you were!"

"Yeah well…" Jin searched for an insult "I think… I THINK YOUR HEAD IS BEEFY!"

Heihachi sniffed and wiped his eye with his hand "I don't think so…" He rubbed his head and turned to Kazuya "Kazuya… You don't think my head is… Beefy… Do you?"

Kazuya raised an eyebrow and didn't reply.

Heihachi sniffed again and started poking his head while looking in the rear-view mirror. Then he realized all he could see in that mirror was Jin's rear "What the hell, Jin!?"

Jin laughed hysterically "Get it? REAR-view mirror? I crack myself up!"

"Jin, if you don't sit down I'm going to insert Heihachi's head into your rear and it will be most painful and unpleasant." Kazuya said expressionless and unmoving.

Jin gulped and slowly sat back down. Then he curled up in a ball, traumatized by the thought of having his grandfather's head half-way up his posterior. The more he thought about it the more frequent his spasms came and he kept twitching and whimpering.

"Ha! Good joke, Kazuya!" Heihachi laughed and was about to pat his son on the back when he received a cold glare that showed Kazuya was not joking. Heihachi started to sweat. He cleared his throat and put both hands on the steering wheel.

Kazuya smirked at the fear he had put into the others but this soon went away when he realized there was a pigeon smeared across his window. Well, what he could see of it. The head had come off and slowly slid across the car window until it came to Jin's window and, due to a gum accident he had had before with the outside of that window, it became stuck and Jin slowly turned to see a pigeon head staring back at him.

"AAAAAHHHHHH! PIGEON HEAD! IT'S GONNA EAT ME!" Jin screeched leaping into the front and landing on Kazuya's lap and squeezing him in a tight hug. Jin shivered and cried but he opened one eye and saw the rest of the pigeon on the window "AAAAAAAHHHHH! PIGEON GUTS!" he screamed in his dad's ear and jumped across onto Heihachi and wrapped himself around his head "SAVE ME!"

"Jin! GET OFF MY HEAD!" Heihachi shouted muffled by Jin's arm. He was now driving with his grandson latched to his head and one of his arms was wrapped across his mouth so he bit it. Jin yelped and Kazuya pushed him back into the backseats.

Jin scrambled to one side of the car to get as far away from the pigeon head as possible.

Knowing it was his father's car, Kazuya smiled evilly and reached back behind his seat to press the window button. When he did, Jin watched the window wind down taking the pigeon head with it and then a crunching noise was heard and the head disappeared and when the window came back up, all that was left was a smear of blood and an eye (what was left of it). Kazuya did the same with his window only it left more than a smear of blood (a foot, feathers, intestine, a lung and part of the heart). He glanced briefly at his son "See? The big bad pigeon is all gone… Well, most of it anyway."

Heihachi realized what Kazuya had done and that he had bits of pigeon in the cracks of the windows and over one side of his car "Kazuya! THIS WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CARS!!!!" the anger left him and then he started to pout "My car…"

Finally, a long while after the pigeon incident, the car pulled into the hotel parking area and Heihachi paid this guy to wash his car after it had gotten many strange looks from passers-by.

"What happened to your car, sir?" The man asked seeing the blood and bits of barbed-wire and fence sticking out of it in various places and not to mention the front of it was all scuffed and dented.

"Hehe… I hit a dog." Heihachi replied thinking it was a good excuse. He turned and picked up his bags and was followed by Kazuya and Jin.

"You hit a dog?" Kazuya questioned.

"What was I supposed to say? Jin really had to urinate but there was no where and then he got impatient, grabbed the wheel and drove us into a farm where we collided with various things naming, fences, hay stacks, a variety of wild fowl, a sheep, that barbed wire fence where we entered the cow paddock, a goat, and then we crashed into a cow that knocked us back but it didn't even move then it just looked at us and walked along it's merry way!?"

Kazuya thought for a second and then saw his father's point of view "I guess you're right… But how is a dog going to cause all that damage to a car?"

"… It was that dog out of that film Beethoven." Heihachi said.

"So what floor are we?" Jin asked looking up at the billion million story hotel.

Heihachi smiled "The top one."

And so, with immense hesitation, they began their ascent.

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Yay for my first tekken fanfic! If you don't get anything please just say and I'll explain. Thanks for reading! Chpater 2 should be up soon! (can't guarantee anything though :P)