"Red The Brony"
Rated T for mild language
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with That 70's Show. That 70's Show and it's characters are owned by Carsey-Werner Productions and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic and its characters are owned by Hasbro and Lauren Faust. Anyway, this little idea just came to me after suffering a bit of writer's block. So here you are! Enjoy!
P.S.: Let's pretend the kids didn't move out of the Forman home, and let's pretend My Little Pony had existed in the 70's.
It was a usual Saturday afternoon in the Forman's household. Kitty had gone out of town for a while to go see her mother while Eric was busy cooped down at the basement with front of his friends, namely Kelso, Donna, Hyde, Jackie and Fez.
For one Red Forman, that obviously meant some free time for him. Since he finally got the OK from his doctor, Red finally began eating his favorite foods that he loved so much. Which by the way, he was making himself a little snack tray full of delicious goodies. He managed to get a bowl of his favorites: Doritos, Chips Ahoy cookies, and a 6-pack full of beer. Suddenly, he gathered them both to the Forman's living room where he got his hands on the remote.
"This is gonna be a big day!" Red exclaimed to himself. "No Kitty, no dopeheads, and no Bob means total freedom for the rest of the afternoon! I'm definitely gonna enjoy this!"
With a smirk, Red turned on the TV to see a Milwaukee Bucks game playing on TV.
"We welcome you to the opening game between the Milwaukee Bucks and the Chicago Bulls, live from the Mecca Arena in good ol' Milwaukee, Wisconsin!" The commentator said.
"You damn right, announcer man!" Red smirked. "I can't wait for the Bucks to send those pansyass Bulls down to the pen!"
However, as Red was cracking open a beer, a news announcer's voice came on:
"We interrupt this program to bring you some breaking news!"
"Oh, come on!" Red whined. "Why did they have to do this crap to me all over again?!"
As Red was complaining, the announcer spoke again.
"We have several reports that a gunman is taking everyone down at Piggly Wiggly nearby Point Place hostage," He replied. "Luckily, there aren't any reports of deaths so far, which isn't surprising since the gunman is possessing a toy water gun. We'll try to stay with this news as far as we can. However, for those of you who are watching the current Bulls/Bucks game, we'll be able to give you the scores as this report goes by."
"Well, this is just bullcrap!" Red growled. "Why is that bastard holding out a water gun? That hardly goes any damage! This is just great. What the hell am I gonna watch now?!"
Being a little fed up, Red changed the channel to a nature show.
"The male horse plans to mate with his fellow horse..."
"Ugh, that's gay." Red gagged.
Tired, Red changed the channel to CBS.
"Tonight on 'All In The Family', Michael reveals to Archie he's a skinhead racist!"
"Ugh, that's wrong!" Red shook his head.
Still being fed up, Red changed the channel again. This time to NBC where they were showing Star Trek.
"Tonight on Star Trek, Spock has sex with Uhura... and hates it!"
"Eh, not my thing." Red shook his head again. "I'm thinking that's something my dumbass son would be turned on by. This sucks, at least let me find something tolerable to watch on here."
Now being bored out of his mind, Red turned the channel to a girl singing on the tube.
"My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhhhhhhhh..."
Red was now growing pissed off.
The show Red was now watching was a cartoon consisting of six magical ponies with cutie marks on their rears.
"Are you frickin' joking?" Red sighed to himself. "Out of all the shows I turned into, I get the damn pony show with tattoos straight on their asses? I really hate cable TV. Well, this couldn't get any worse than that godawful nature show or that freaky alien sex."
Even though the hardass would have changed the channel right away, he strangely decided to remain there while the ponies, Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie, talked to one another.
"Pinkie, what are you doing?!" Twilight sighed.
"I'm making a cannon blaster full of pies, cakes and balloons!" Pinkie said to her.
"What good is that gonna do, Pinkie?!" Twilight shouted. "That's not gonna be enough to take down Lord Tirek!"
"Hey, if there's anything anypony can't resist is a good party!" Pinkie said, defending her weaponry.
Red couldn't help but shoot himself in the head. This was so annoying to him that even he can't put it into words.
"This show doesn't make sense!" Red groaned. "How is that pink bastard gonna use a party cannon to beat up a guy the size of the frickin' Empire State Building? I swear, this is so childish and retarded. Might as well watch more to see what happens. I bet she fails at it."
An hour later...
Red was glued to his seat, seeing what was gonna happen to both Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash's friendship. Apparently, Red was watching what was now considered a marathon of My Little Pony.
"No, don't bribe Rainbow Dash with cake, you dumbass!" Red said to the tube. "Go for something better!"
Pinkie Pie then knocked on the cloud where Rainbow Dash was sleeping on. The light blue-colored pony awoke from her nap to see Pinkie Pie up close and personal.
"Hey Rainbow Dash, I made you your favorite cake just to tell you how sorry I am for costing you your race!" Pinkie exclaimed.
Suddenly, Rainbow Dash took the cake that Pinkie gave her and smashed it in her face.
"I wanted chocolate cake, not white cake, Pinkie!" Rainbow growled.
Just like that, Rainbow Dash floated away on her cloud, leaving Pinkie to lick the frosting from her own face.
"Huh, I guess I replaced the whipped cream with shaving instead..." Pinkie gulped.
Red couldn't help but laugh at this little blooper.
"Hahaha, what a dumbass!" Red exclaimed. "Who else puts shaving cream as frosting? I'm pretty sure that kettlehead Kelso does."
Another hour later...
Red was still in her couch, yet watching another episode of My Little Pony end, but not without Twilight Sparkle giving out her little motivational speech in the closing moments.
"Friendship is not just an ordinary term, it's not just a word." Twilight said to everypony. "In fact, it's more than that. It's magic. Without friendship, how can we live our lives? Without friendship, how would we treat others? Without friendship, where would we be? That's why it's important to spread this friendship to others so that we can be strong. Because that's what true friendship is."
"Preach, Twilight!" Red smirked as he chowed down on a Dorito. "I swear, this is way better than going to church with Kitty!"
Unfortunately, Red's happiness didn't last long as he saw the closing credits.
"What, it's over?!" Red gasped. "This is insane! I really want to see what the next episode is! And I still haven't found out why Derpy acts so retarded! And why Fluttershy acts like Kettlehead all the time! At least cut me some slack!"
After the show's closing credits ended, a commercial for My Little Pony toys started playing. This suddenly caught Red's attention as he heard the announcer's voice playing:
"You like Twilight Sparkle? You like Fluttershy and all of your favorite characters from My Little Pony? Well, now's your chance to own all of your favorite characters from the show! My Little Pony figures are now $19.99 at your favorite toy store, Toys "R" Us! Located near your favorite Fatso Burger down at Point Place, Wisconsin. Buy them now so you can imagine the magic of friendship!"
Suddenly, Red stood still while hearing this.
He didn't know that there were action figures of this show. I mean, it only took Red a few hours for him to be hooked on this guilty pleasure. His hand started to get a weird, yet strange feeling. It somehow dug into his left pocket, searching for his wallet. Red's mind couldn't help but do the impossible. Yet somehow, the hardass resisted.
"No, I can't blow all my good money on My Little Pony toys, I'm a man." Red thought as he shook his head. "Besides, I'm saving up for that new grill that I want. The grill always comes first, red! But I'm not sure if I really want it..."
Red was somehow in a tough spot. After thinking over this situation for a couple of hours, he knew what he needed to do.
"I now know what I need to do..." The middle-aged man said to himself as he left for the door.
One day later...
Kitty was driving up from the driveway, closing the door on the Vista Cruiser that she and her husband shared.
"Well, that was a very unpleasant visit." Kitty groaned. "Who knew my sister Paula was a bigger cheat at bingo than I thought? Well, at least it's over. At least I can finally see my loving husband again to calm me down."
After putting up her purse on top of the counter, Kitty went to the living room so she could see Red again.
"Honey, I'm back home from my sister's!" Kitty exclaimed. "I sure miss-"
However, Kitty was shocked when she opened the living room door. And what she saw shocked her.
"Red, what in the heck are you wearing?!" Kitty gasped.
She somehow saw her own husband Red...
...
...
...dressed in My Little Pony gear!
Red was decked out in a Rainbow Dash hat, a Twilight Sparkle t-shirt, My Little Pony sweatpants, Rainbow Dash socks, and just to top it all off, custom-made pegasus wings that resembled Fluttershy. But that was not all of it. Kitty ended up seeing a lot of stuffed My Little Pony's sitting on top of the Forman's couch. Everypony from Twilight Sparkle to Fluttershy and from Octavia to Vinyl Scratch.
Kitty was in total shock, so Red decided to snap her out of it.
"You like it, Kitty?" Red smirked. "There's this new show that's changed my life! It's My Little Pony! And they have a damn good message to boot! It's better than that crappy Brady Bunch Hour, I'll tell you that!"
"Red...?" His wife muttered.
"Yes, Kitty?" Red smirked.
"Where did you get those stuff?" She gulped again, not wanting to find out.
"I bought them at Toys "R' Us, Kitty!" Red exclaimed. "I'll tell ya, we hardly ever go there so much. You want me to buy you some ponies too? I can make you into a Pegasister."
After such awkward silence, Kitty finally managed to speak up in panic.
"Oh my god," Kitty gulped before shouting, "MY HUSBAND'S A BRONY!?"
"Eeyup!" Red nodded. "And you're looking at him."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kitty screamed as she ran up the stairs for her life.
Red couldn't figure out what the hell Kitty was reacting for. She thought she would be excited for him in the first place. But it turned out, she was more horrified of her husband now more than ever.
"Geez, what chewed up her ass?" Red shrugged. "I guess someone should have told her that friendship is magic."
Not putting up with her anymore, Red went back to watching more My Little Pony on the tube.
Meanwhile, Eric entered the living room and saw his father in all Brony gear. Curious, he spoke out to him.
"Hey Dad, why are you-"
"You tell anyone about this, I swear to Him, my foot Rainbow Dashes your ass." Red said, threatening Eric.
"Okay, just checking." Eric gulped as he left the living room.
And that was the tale of how Red Forman discovered My Little Pony.
The end.
Okay, even though it was a little bit OOC for Kitty to act like that in the end, but I'm not gonna lie, that would be her perfect reaction to all of this for sure.
Anyway, feedbacks are welcomed! Until then, Warrior man out!