AN--So, I hope you like it. I was going to post all of the months in one chapter, but it would have been far too long :) Review if you want, I had a blast writing this story.

"We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person." – William Somerset Maugham

January

'Who could it be at this hour?' Hotch thought to himself as he answered his front door. It was almost midnight, and he was far from accustomed visitors. As he opened the door, he was shocked at who stood before him. In his wildest imaginations, he could never make a guess why JJ would show up on his doorstep.

He could tell that she had been crying, tear stains running down her cheek, he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and comfort her. And he would have--if it weren't so inappropriate. "JJ, what are you doing here?" He asked concerned.

"I can't stand being in my apartment tonight and I've got nowhere else to go." JJ admitted bashfully. It had been a hard decision to come to Hotch's, but she would rather deal with the embarrassment of crying to her boss than being alone. "Garcia and Kevin went out of town together, Morgan's out—probably hitting on the new girl in Internal Affairs, Emily's visiting her mom, Reid actually has a date, and my parents are all the way in northern Pennsylvania. I literally have nowhere else to go. But if I'm interrupting, I'll go to a motel. I just forgot my credit card." JJ blurted out quickly, never stopping for air. She hadn't meant to tell Hotch that he was her last resort, but it seemed to come out on its own.

"JJ, you're fine. Where's Will, or Henry? What happened?" Hotch blurted unsure of what to do, he quickly ushered the woman into his home, hoping that he could somehow help her.

"Henry is with my mom this weekend and Will…is with her." JJ said disgusted, her nose wrinkling slightly. "I come home from the case and he's with her. Didn't even give me an excuse, just said that he couldn't control who he loved." Tears began to flow freely, no matter how hard JJ tried to restrict them.

"JJ…" Hotch began, wishing for inspiration. He had no idea what to tell her, no matter how badly he wanted to.

But JJ didn't need him to say anything, she continued without any provocation. "Told me that it's hard to have a relationship with my voicemail. Apparently she's there for him. I wanted so badly for this relationship to work." JJ said, collapsing onto Hotch's couch. "And I know that this is super awkward because we're not all that close, but I have nowhere else to go." She sniffled, Hotch sat down next to her, putting his arm around her awkwardly.

JJ leaned in and began sobbing, tears staining Hotch's shirt. He tried to fight the urge to track down Will and murder him. He couldn't understand how Will could throw a treasure like JJ to the wayside. Hotch fought to keep his control over his feelings, both those of anger for Will and affection for JJ.

"I didn't even see it coming. He's been seeing her for months, and I didn't even notice." JJ mused, looking up at Hotch with big, watery, bloodshot eyes. "Am I an idiot? I work with profilers who can tell what color of socks someone they've never met wears, but I can't tell that my boyfriend who I'm supposed to know better than anyone is sleeping with someone else. I must be a moron." It was so out of character for JJ to confide in anyone, let alone her superior.

"JJ, you're not a moron." Hotch assured her. Earlier today, he would have given anything to hold JJ in his arms, and now, Hotch couldn't think of anything he wanted less. He didn't want to be with her in reaction to Will and slime bag persona. "You just had a baby, you were preoccupied."

"Yeah, I was so worried about serial killers and baby formula that I let the love of my life fall in love with someone else." JJ cried, snuggling her face even closer to Hotch's chest. She was not the type to fall apart, especially in front of someone else, but tonight, she couldn't help it. She was being the weak, desperate, emotional girl that she'd always made fun of.

"JJ, if he was the love of your life, he wouldn't have done this to you." Hotch tried to remind her. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah." JJ said pathetically. "I just…I just thought that he was happy. I thought we were soul mates. I never believed in soul mates and then I did, and I get kicked in the gut."

"JJ…" Hotch tried to comfort, rubbing her arm sympathetically. He wished that he could tell her that it would all be alright, that she'd get over Will before she'd know it. But he knew the truth about hard breakups, they were hard to get over. He was still reeling from his divorce; it had taken him months to even begin to look at other women. But when JJ came back to the BAU after maternity leave, he hadn't been able to look away.

" I wanted this to work out, I wanted it so badly. I never thought I'd find it. You know, that crazy, intoxicating love, but then I met Will and I became all love sick and pathetic. I was like a different person, I never believed in romance and then I did. I just feel like a moron." JJ rambled. She knew come Monday, she would be horrified at what she had told Hotch. "Do you think that if I had left the team like he'd asked, we'd still be together?"

"JJ, you'd be miserable without the BAU." Hotch said sincerely. He knew the game of 'what if' better than he wanted to; he had been playing it for months. "This isn't your fault. You just trusted the wrong person."

JJ sat in stillness, considering what he was saying. She really wanted to believe that it wasn't her error; that Will really was the one to blame for this. But she couldn't let herself shift the blame. "I thought that me and Will were perfect together. I really thought it was the ideal relationship. And now I'm here, complaining to you about how I can't make a relationship work." JJ laughed to herself somberly. It really was ironic, that a big part of why she was here now was her inability to divulge her feelings to Will, and now she was doing it so easily with Hotch.

***********

"Did you ask for me?" JJ asked as she peeked into Hotch's office.

"Yeah, I was just wondering how you're doing." Hotch inquired carefully.

JJ groaned loudly, "can we please just never talk about this again?" JJ begged. She didn't know what had gotten into her, but she was hoping it would never reappear. She hadn't cried in years—let alone in public. So it was unacceptable for her to lose it at thirty years old in front of her coworker. Not just her coworker, her boss.

"JJ, I really am here for you. I hope you realize that." Hotch said softly, sincerely wishing that JJ knew how much she meant to him. Seeing her like that nearly killed him, he had no intention of letting her hurt like that ever again.

"I'm fine." JJ said, feigning a smile. "What needs to happen with Will and me, I have to be the one to take care of it. I think I know what I need to do, it was just a hard night. I appreciate all that you did on Saturday, but can we please let this die?" JJ really was thankful for how Hotch had allowed her to spend the night, allowing her to stain his shirt in her tears, but it didn't change how horrified she felt. She had born her soul to Hotch, something that was too humiliating for her to think of the memory without cringing.

"Alright." Hotch nodded, understanding exactly where she was coming from. After he and Hailey divorced, he too had gotten sick of the well-meaning friends who often goaded him to spill his inner most thoughts. All that had done was cause him to spend more hours at work, trying to avoid the truth.

JJ turned, ready to leave the room. After a second thought, she turned around. "Hey, do you want to get Chinese?" JJ asked hopefully. What she really needed right now was a real friend, and for some reason in her gut, she felt like he was meant to be it.

"I'd love to." Hotch smiled, grateful for the chance to help someone else through a trying time.