Bigtoven: Hello there, this is Bigtoven, hope you like this fic. Oh also just so you know this is a funny song fic. I've never done a song fic before, so bear with me please. I also checked the TOS, and a bunch of other things like that on the site, and it doesn't say anything about song fics not being allowed so it should be okay.
Warning: Strong language, and ooc-ness that's about all for this chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own the series Inuyasha, by Rumiko Takahashi, nor do I own the song 'When you're Evil', by Voltaire. If you think I do then….. YOU ARE ON SOME SERIOUS WHACKED OUT SHIT DUDE!!!!!!! Ahem… yeah so you now know that I do not own either.
Stuff to know
//// Place/Action ////
\\ Action on screen \\
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
-Song-
//// in some Village with Inuyasha and crew ////
The Inu gang was walking through a seemingly normal looking village, when Kagome happened to spot something peculiar. "Does that say open mike night?" Kagome asked, wide eyed while pointing toward a tavern that had a huge sign in the front clearly saying "Open Mike night/day, anyone welcome to come up and sing for free, 'cause we 'aint payin'! Starting from sun up until tomorrow night" "your right Kagome, it does say that. Hmm… Let's go check it out, sounds like fun, what do you think Inuyasha" Sango said looking at the sign, then toward Inuyasha. "Feh… whatever, Naraku hasn't shown up in a while, and there's no rumors about any jewel shards, so I guess it'll be okay." Inuyasha said, walking toward the entrance, with the others following.
//// Inside the Tavern ////
All the lights were off inside the tavern. There were little round tables with about five to six chairs per table. Each table also had a candle lit right in the middle as well. The stage was a big… well stage, with a microphone standing in the front of it, and a huge white screen in the background. Many people were seated looking toward the stage. Amid all those people were Kouga, Kaede, Kikyou, Sesshomaru, Rin, Jaken, Hakkaku, Ginta, Kohaku, Kagura, Kanna, and a bunch of others that they know. Apparently they had all had the same Idea. Though Naraku had yet to be seen. Taking a seat in a small five chaired table the Inu gang slowly looked around, toward all of their enemies/ allies.
All was quiet when suddenly all the candles went out. It was pitch black, suddenly a scream in the dark "AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR cough, cough RRGGGGGGGG hack, hack GGHHHHHHHH Gasp, wheeze, wheeze…. Plop" err… Continuing…. All was dark, when suddenly a spotlight started shining around the stage going 'round, and 'round, occasionally going over a strange dark figure, but going to fast to actually make out who it was. "Over here you idiot! Stop moving the damn spotlight around so much!" Finally landing on the figure it showed to be a guy wearing a baboon cloak- like thing. The figure quickly ripped off the baboon costume- thingy, and threw it in to the crowd, (with many protest's from some angry dude who got hit squarely in the face by it) revealing himself to be none other than Naraku. Many shouts of anger and outrage, were quickly silenced as Naraku slowly picked up the mike, taking a deep breath to quell his nerves (as if he has any) he started speaking to the crowd "Hello Ladies, Gentlemen and all you bastards out there who want to kill me, you know who you are. Now I shall be singing a favorite song of mine by Voltaire called 'When you're Evil', any complaints will be shoved up your ass you all got that!" At the collective nod from the crowd Naraku began…
-When the Devil is too busy
And Death's a bit too much
They call on me by name you see,
For my special touch.-
\\ picture of Naraku\\
-To the Gentlemen I'm Miss Fortune
To the Ladies I'm Sir Prize
But call me by any name
Any way it's all the same-
\\ pictures of all the guys & girls from Inuyasha\\
- I'm the fly in your soup
Suddenly Kagome's voice can be heard "Waiter there's a fly in my soup!"
-I'm the pebble in your shoe
I'm the pea beneath your bed
I'm a bump on every head
\\ Picture of Shippo nursing a huge bump on his head complements of Inuyasha\\
-I'm the peel on which you slip
\\ Picture of Kouga slipping on a banana peel\\
"So it was Him!"
-I'm a pin in every hip
I'm the thorn in your side
Makes you wriggle and writhe
And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
\\ Picture of the 'Devil' in hell, tipping his hat to Naraku\\
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
\\ Picture of Kagome quietly sobbing in front of her busted up bike, with Naraku hiding behind a tree laughing\\
"It was you! I blamed Inuyasha for that!"
"And she gave me one Hell of a sitting for that one you bastard! You now got another thing I want to kill you for!"
- While there's children to make sad
While there's candy to be had
\\ Picture of Shippo crying because his candy is missing\\
while there's pockets left to pick
Kagome suddenly reaches into her pocket (don't ask, she just has one okay) "Hey, where's all my money, and the shikon jewel shards!
While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs
\\ Clip of Naraku pushing Kaede down some stairs, then laughing evilly\\
"I knew that I didn't just trip!"
I'll be there, I'll be waiting round the corner
\\ Picture of Naraku waiting around a corner, about to jump out at Kohaku\\
"Uhh… Again that was a good one!"
It's a game. I'm glad I'm in it
\\ Picture of Naraku playing Monopoly\\
'Cause there's one born every minute
\\ Picture of all of Naraku's current incarnations\\
And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
\\ Picture of Naraku greedily clutching a container labeled 'Tears'\\
- I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub
Has never seen a soldier quite like me
Not only does his job, but does it happily.
\\ Clip of Naraku with the nearly completed Shikon no Tama laughing maniacally \\
- I'm the fear that keeps you awake
\\ Picture of Shippo shivering in fear, repeatedly looking towards a spider shaped shadow, at night while everyone is asleep\\
"Now I know who to blame for that!"
I'm the shadows on the wall
I'm the monsters they become
\\ Clip of Naraku doing shadow puppets, and laughing insanely\\
I'm the nightmare in your skull
I'm a dagger in your back
Kikyou with a dagger in her back "Ouch" 'That's going to bleed as soon as my heart beats…Sigh'
An extra turn on the rack
I'm the quivering of your heart
A stabbing pain, a sudden start.
Kagome suddenly notices that Inuyasha is asleep and has Sango hit him over the head with her Hiraktosu (s/p?) "Wha… Huh… I'm up, I'm up!"
-And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
Naraku then takes a few minutes to laugh like an evil maniac "MWAHAHAHAHAHA HA cough, cough HAHAHA hack, cough, hack HAHAHA wheeze, hack, cough pant, pant. Okay that's enough!"
- It gets so lonely being evil
What I'd do to see a smile
Even for a little while
\\ clip of Naraku trying to give some candy to Shippo, who is hugging on to a tree for dear life, and crying like crazy, repeating "please don't kill me! I'm too young and cute to die!"\\
"I thought I was a goner for sure that time"
And no one loves you when you're evil
Naraku takes a short pause to sigh dramatically while looking really sad and heartbroken
I'm lying though my teeth!
Your tears are all the company I need
Naraku then throws the mike to the floor and does a dramatic pose, with a huge smile on his face.
//// Audience////
Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Koga, and almost everyone there thinking 'That. Was a… really… creepy song'. Inuyasha meanwhile muttering "Damn bastard, blame me for braking Kagome's damn cart, I'm going to make that bastard wish he was never born. Couldn't be content with the whole, making me and Kikyou think we betrayed each other, no he has to go and get me blamed for braking Kagome's cart too" and Kikyou thinking 'oh, yea there's the blood, I should probable bandage that up before I die again from blood loss, hmm… I wonder if there's a trained medic in this place…'
After about five minutes of the dramatic silence Naraku's minions finally stood up "Woo, that was great my Lord! Encore, encore, Woo, You GO my Lord! Woo" soon after this outburst from Naraku's minions, everyone else started applauding him as well. "Oh, your all too much, would you all like me to do an encore!" Naraku said, excitedly "NO!" everyone, including his incarnations, and Kohaku all shouted "Come on, it couldn't have been THAT bad!" "It wasn't bad but listening to you for any longer and I'll go insane!" Someone yelled back from the audience "Oh go fuck yourself!" Naraku replied angrily, killing that random dude, and then stomping off stage.
Bigtoven: Hello ya'll Hope you like this! Next up is either going to be Kouga, or Shippo, why them you ask? Well its simple, I've already got some very good and funny songs picked out for 'em. Review if you want, don't if you, well don't want to also if you want to flame, then make sure you give a valid reason for it I don't want "Your fan fic sucks stop writing" or some other crap like that. I would rather have "Your fan fic sucks because –insert reason here-.." Also I already warned you about the ooc-ness so you can't complain about that.