Author's note

Hi, everyone! Just a few warnings: This is the first time I've ever written a fanfic (or a piece of it) and English is not my first language. These scenes are just something I had in my mind and I would not rest if I didn't write it. It's not really good, but i thought someone could find it enjoyable :) That's it, hope you like it!

Mesmerized

She sat in class, lazily doodling on her parchment while looking through the closed window. Outside, an owl struggled with a letter too big for its own good.

"Miss Weasley…" She heard, as if calling from a distant dream.

Debating with herself on the consequences of not answering the wizard, she said in a bored tone "Yes, professor?"

"I'd very much appreciate, Miss Weasley, if you would make an effort and try to pay some attention to the lesson I'm teaching today. Unless, of course, you think yourself too important for that." A deafening silence danced around the classroom. "In which case, I think you should just leave my class, instead of sitting there wasting my time".

"I'm sorry, sir." She said with a sad voice and lowered her head. The man eyed her suspiciously, but let it go, turning back to the lesson and the anxious faces staring at him.

It was not her usual attitude to back down, she knew that and he did too. He was giving her a choice to get out of class, surely having noticed she was not her normal self today. He could read her so well… She missed the time when they would talk about it in one of their night chats, while she spilled her heart and tears on his shoulder.

Ginny stared dreamingly at the mysterious wizard, uselessly trying to make sense of the words coming out of his mouth… And how she loved his mouth, his lips, his rare and secret smiles… Not that she had ever been that close to taste it, but just looking at the movement was good enough to make her mind wander again.

Their game had been going on for a while now. It had started as nothing, just a spark of understanding that would, eventually, change her life. Two broken souls, taking comfort in each other's need for something they didn't even comprehend at the time. She could remember clearly of the day Professor Snape found her walking through the Castle after hours and on her on. She had gone for a walk, as a desperate attempt to get away from the nightmares that were hunting her mind, clueless that the same reasons had also taken him from his bed. Ginny was turning around a corner, drying the silent tears on the sleeves of her pajamas, when she blindly bumped into him. At first, she was sure he would put her on detention for a life time but, when she looked upon his scared eyes, she was not sure anymore. It was in that desert hallway that she, for the first time, came across with a side of Professor Snape that very few people knew: a vulnerable, hunted man, with stones in his past and unknown darkness everywhere.

"Miss Weasley, I… What are you…? Go back to your dorm." He said with discomfort and confusion.

"Are you okay, Sir?" Ginny whispered, putting a hand in his arm, shocked by his unnatural behavior.

Snape stared at her hand for a few seconds before raising his eyes to look at her. "You shouldn't be wandering at this hour. It's late and you need to go back to bed. Go now, and I may spare you from detention."

"I…" She could feel her fingers tingling. Are you insane? Take your hand off of your professor, stupid girl! She thought, desperately trying to move, but too afraid to put more attention in the impulsive touch.

At that very moment, they heard steps coming from the end of the hall and a cat's cry alongside. "Fuck." Snape said in a low voice. "Come with me. I'm not in the mood to cross Filtch's path and I'm betting you're not either. Come on." He took his arm from under her hand and turned around, going the opposite direction from the intrude sounds. Ginny stood frozen in place with big eyes, not knowing what to do, until the steps got too close for her comfort and she ran silently after the man who had shown her unexpected mercy.

They had walked in silence for a few minutes and Ginny was sure he would take her back to the Gryffindor common room. To her surprise, though, he suddenly turned in a different direction without saying a word. She was gathering courage to ask where they were going, but stopped when he entered his classroom, leaving the door open for her.

When inside the room, she looked around; confused by not seeing Professor Snape right away and thinking she might be imagining things.

"Do you want tea?" She heard his voice ask from behind the ingredients cabinet.

"Sure." Ginny answered, still startled by the unreal situation she found herself in.

Locked in place, she waited while he fixed the tea cups for both of them and walked back to sit in his chair. "Sit." He said, waving his wand to close the door.

Ginny moved to a chair in front of him, almost unconscious of her own moves, mesmerized by the man's eyes on hers.

"What were you dreaming about?" He asked suddenly, shaking her from the moment of craziness lost inside his dark eyes.

"I… what?" She frowned, wondering if he seriously wanted to know or if it was a funny way of finally throwing her in detention.

"Your nightmare, I asked what you were dreaming about." He replied, restless.

Ginny paused, glaring at Snape, trying to find a motive behind his question but, resolving there was none, she said "I dreamed about Tom. It is always Tom, even when it's not him…"

Once again, silence filled the room. Witch and wizard stared at each other with growing tension in the air.

"What do you mean?" Snape asked without moving his eyes.

"I mean that he is always present, since… You know… The Chamber. Even when I'm dreaming of other things, he shows up, he observes me from a distance, he talks slowly in my year and he touches my hair… Sometimes I… Sometimes I like it, because his presence makes me feel less… lonely. Other times it just freaks me out. I can't stop thinking that the dreams are too real to be just dreams." She finished without breath, as if it had cost all of her energy to put it out there.

Severus sat back and crossed his arms, wondering if there might be a chance she was right. "The Dark Lord really got to you, didn't he?" He asked and waited for her answer. Realizing she would give none, he continued. "Do you talk about it with your friends?"

"Not really. I think I might've been pushing them away, because they don't get it, they don't understand how much it changed me." Ginny explained, while the man listened to her confession. "Well, maybe I'm not being fair…" She continued in a monologue, "They try to understand and give me some space but I just don't want to be around them anymore, I feel like I'm missing something…"

"Missing Tom?" Snape questioned carefully, moving a little to get closer to her.

Ginny suddenly felt very self-conscious and got up from the chair, almost dropping her cup of tea. "I'm sorry, professor. I didn't want to waste your time with such stupid thoughts, I'm sure you have many important things to do. I'll go now." She rumbled, clumsy trying to place the mug on the table and turning around to leave.

"You know, Ginevra…." She stopped by hearing her first name. "There aren't many people who had the opportunity to get as close as you did to the Dark Lord." He stood, going in her direction and stopping a few feet away. "I'm a very curious person and would love to hear about your experiences, if you would like to talk about it." Ginny stared at her feet, contemplating the invitation. "I might even teach you how to stop the bad dreams if you want to."

When Ginny raised her head after a few seconds had passed, her expression was filled with confusion and something else. "I don't know." She said, not sure if she had the nerve to spend time talking about Tom with a man who was so closely connected to him.

"You don't have to decide right now. I know you are scared of me, most students are. I'm not asking you to talk to me just so that you'd have someone to listen to your fears. I'm not that much of a giving person. I want to know him better, to understand how he acts and thinks, because somehow, it entices me." He finished the sentence with an intensity that sent chills through Ginny's spine.

Feeling boulder than she had since awakening from that awful dream, Ginny gave a step forward and looked at him. "Ok, I'll come and talk about it, but I don't want the dreams to stop just yet. They're part of me now, even when it's awful and frightening. And just to be clear, I'm not scared of you. I know you are trusted by Dumbledore and that's enough for me. When should I come?"

Snape gave a low chuckle. "Tomorrow after your classes would be good." He stated as if the whole situation was very amusing.

"Ok, I'll be here." Ginny said and turned around, finally reaching the door and walking fast towards her dormitory, missing by seconds the tiny smile playing in the corner of the wizard's lips.

"Miss Weasley!" Ginny focused her vision in the man towering her, noticing for the first time in a while, that she was still in class. "Your classmates already left, and you're still here… Are you alright?" Professor Snape asked with a gentle low voice.

"Can I come and see you tonight?" She asked, thinking about the way he could change from being rude and aggressive to nice and caring in a blink. It drove her insane.

"Of course. I'll be free after hours, so I'll meet you 11 o'clock on the hallway of 3rd floor." His hand twitched and she was sure he wanted to touch her but was restraining himself, afraid of what would happen if he just gave in.

"Thank you." Ginny said with a sad smile, picking up her bag and heading to the next class.

It had been six months since that first night chat had happened in Snape's office. When it started, they used to just sit down and Ginny would talk about her dreams, mostly the ones where the young Voldemort watched her quietly. She would tell the professor how it made her feel taken care of when Tom smiled at her in the dreams, and how she would wake up screaming if he felt like scaring her. It had happened a few times, but she could remember it vividly when he had locked her in a dark room filled with insects "just for fun", he had said.

Tom had a very peculiar way of making her love him. Because she did, love him. And also fear him, of course. Sometimes she was so sure he was controlling the dreams, only letting her wake up when he got tired of her, that she would try to stay awake through the night, only to wake up screaming in the morning. That one time, when she had no more voice from yelling and thought herself going mad in the dark room, covered in spiders and snakes, Tom showed up with eyes filled with concern, taking her to a couch with a fluffy blanket, where he hold her for hours while she sobbed nonstop. She remembered his voice saying "I'm sorry, Ginny, I didn't think you would be so scared. It was just a joke. Please don't cry, you are breaking my heart." In that moment, a distant part of her knew he had no heart, knew he was just pleasuring himself in her pain, but she was young and desperately needed to feel the comfort he was providing.

When she had first told Snape about the dark dreams, with tears running down her cheeks, he was not really shocked by what Tom had done, since he was expecting worse, but shocked with how much she had to endure and still managed to keep herself sane. That day, he had put his hand on top of hers, hoping that she would stop crying. She didn't. Instead, she threw her body against his and held him tight, crying on his shoulder, looking for a comfort he couldn't give her.

The last time they had spoken to each other outside the classroom, about a month ago, Ginny had decided to tell Snape about one dream she hadn't had the courage to bring up until then.

"Please don't think less of me because of this dream, professor. I wasn't sure if I could bring myself to talk about it, but we've been having these… meetings… for a while now and I really trust you…" Ginny said, walking in front of him.

Snape grabbed her hand to stop her from making a hole on the floor. "Sit down, Ginevra, I'm not here to judge your morale, I just want to understand Tom. You know that, so, go on and tell me what it is."

Ginny sat, took a deep breath and started her story.

"I was walking in a hallway of what looked like a very old house, full of shadows and dirt. I could hear only my footsteps on the wooden floor and the curtains moving in a wind that came from nowhere. I walked a few steps ahead, afraid he was going to show up and put me through another hell, but there was no one. The hallway seemed to go on forever in darkness and the more I walked, the farther it went. Then I came across a huge mirror…" She paused. By this time, Ginny was shaking, too scared to go on.

Snape sighed and decided she wouldn't continue if he didn't offer a bit of compassion. He really wanted to hear what happened, so he reached for her and pulled her onto his lap. He knew, from the beginning, that it was not a good idea, but his curiosity was too big. A curiosity about the dream and about the girl. He was a man after all... And she was right there, so vulnerable.

Her body was rigid when she sat on his lap, scared of what that gesture meant. She could smell the perfume he had on. Ginny was never a coward. She was going through some pretty nasty stuff, but she wouldn't be scared of physical contact with a man, even though he was her teacher. She needed, for some inexplicable reason, to prove herself. So she relaxed a little, putting her head in his chest and continued.

"When I looked in the mirror, there was only me. Red hair, freckles and an ugly gray dress. I tried to look closer but there was nothing, until I heard his voice. 'I want to show you something, Ginny.' He said, appearing in the mirror as if standing behind me. My first instinct was to turn around, but there was nobody there. I looked at his reflection and asked about what he wanted to show me, praying quietly that it wasn't too bad. At that moment I felt something moving behind me and my heart skipped a beat. I turned fast and he was there, his eyes sparkling with excitement, as if he had a new toy and couldn't wait to play with it."

Snape twitched under her weight and she immediately started to stand. "I'm too heavy, I'm sorry." She said and he held her in place, speaking with a sharp tongue. "You're not heavy at all, I'm just getting comfortable, go on with the dream."

Ginny blinked a few times and reluctantly started again. "We were standing there, in the dark hallway, facing each other, when he put his hand behind my head and pulled me very close to his face, as if he was going to kiss me. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to feel him, to taste him, but at the same time, was too afraid to make a move. He put the tip of his tongue out and licked my bottom lip. I felt hot and cold all over me, my body burning in the weirdest places and my heart freezing with the small touch. He opened his mouth and pressed my bottom lip between his teeth, pulling lightly. I wasn't able handle that and my legs gave up under me. I was so scared. Tom caught me just before I hit the ground, chuckling gravely while he said 'this is going to be so much better than I imagined'."

At this time, Snape put his hand in her head, touching her hair with his fingertips. "You never told me he had gotten intimate with you like that…" He said in a weird tone, waiting for her to say something, anything that would shake the unknown feeling that was turning his stomach upside down.

"I was afraid you'd think I'm disgusting."

"I could never think that." He murmured and she almost didn't hear him. Almost.

She lifted her head from his chest and turned to look at him, asking defiantly "What do you mean by that, Severus?" Ginny stared at his eyes while the silence filled the room. She could feel his heartbeats getting faster and was pretty sure hers were doing the same thing. He was so close to her body and to her heart that she allowed herself thinking about what would happen if she moved just a little, finally being able to taste him.

"Continue the dream, please." Snape said with a faltering voice, looking to a point over her head.

"Well…" She started again, "when Tom held me in his arms, our surroundings changed to a really awkward cave. We were in the middle of it, with dark water all around us, like an island inside a cave. I've never seen anything like it. He put me down and conjured a large bed, with no sheets and no pillows. I didn't know what to feel when he did that, and he could tell I was freaking out, because he started laughing out loud at my dumb face. I can't say I wasn't a bit excited at the thought of him wanting me that way. I mean, who wouldn't feel special? He is famous, extremely good looking and… dangerous... Oh I'm so stupid." Ginny finished, waiting for Snape's response, because she knew that if he didn't like what she had just said, she wouldn't be able to continue.

"Good looking, heh?" He said with a smirk.

"No way that's all you got from what I said!" Ginny laughed. She was sure he was enjoying her story, in a pretty twisted and fucked up way. But so what, she was like that herself. Maybe she also enjoyed the wickedness a bit.

"You should laugh more. It doesn't suit you to be sad all the time, it seem as if the real you is trapped inside." Snape raised his hand and touched her hair again, showing a side of him that nobody would ever dream existed. Maybe he is like that just for me. Or maybe I'm finally going insane.

"It's not easy to be happy when you can never reach what you want. Always hoping for something that is too far away. Maybe I should just stop dreaming and accept what is nearer, but it feels incomplete. Tom… Harry… You. Always beyond my reach."

Snape raised his eyebrows at her statement.

"Oh, don't pretend you didn't realize. And don't even dare to act like you don't feel something too. Even if it's just physical!" Ginny stood to get a better look at his alarmed expression.

"I don't care about your crazy fantasies and that's not why we're here. It seems you are a bit off after all. I thought I had made myself clear when we first started talking about your dreams and I told you I wanted to know more about Tom." He snapped, not knowing what to do. It was obvious he couldn't have her. She was a child and his student. "How old are you, anyway? Don't you think I'd want someone more mature, instead of making out with a little girl?"

Ginny could feel the tears promptly dropping from her eyes struggling against the possibility that he really meant that. "I'm sixteen. And I don't believe you. I'm sorry for saying out loud what we've been trying to hide for the past three months. I'll leave now if you want me to. Thanks for listening to my adventures for all this time."

"Please go."

Ginny turned and began to walk away, only stopping to make a final statement she hoped would get him thinking about her for a while. "He touched me, you know? He threw me on the bed and touched me everywhere. I could see his eyes turning black when he put himself inside of me. He left me alone and aching in the cave for hours when he was done, preventing me for waking up. It felt wonderful to be taken like that, but I'm still hunted by his eyes whenever I close mine."

Snape stared at her, not knowing what to say.

"Oh, and do you know when this dream happened?" She said, not waiting for an answer. "It happened the day you and me found each other, the first time you took me here to talk. He knew something was about to take place. He knew we would go beyond ourselves."

"Don't let him get to you like that." He pleaded.

"Too late, don't you think?"

Ginny stormed out of the room, banging the door behind her. Snape sat back on his chair, putting his head in his hands, trying to calm himself. In the back of his mind he knew she was right about his feelings and desires, but the logic told him it was stupid and it would only end up hurting both of them. He stood and angrily threw all of the papers that were on his desk to the floor, cursing out loud and heading to his quarters.