The Super Glue Incident
Judy Hoffs sat at her desk in Jump Street Chapel, idly toying with a pen as she chewed on a piece of gum and stared at a large stack of papers that she needed to complete. Paperwork! That's all she'd been working on, and that's all she'd been given to work on. Captain Fuller had sent Hanson and Penhall out on a new assignment that morning, so Ioki was all she had left. But the problem about that was that HE was buried up to his neck in paperwork just like she was. Just about when she thought her day would be completely mind-blowingly boring, something walked through the door that almost made her choke on her gum.
"Hanson? What in the world happened to you?"Judy exclaimed, jumping out of her chair to go inspect her friend and colleague, who was currently in his Tommy McQuaid attire... with something a little extra added.
"He got into a little incident in Science today." Doug Penhall answered for Hanson, walking in after him. Tom tried to turn around and glare daggers.
"Incident?"he growled,"DOUG! I have a STOOL attached to my ASS!" and it was true. Tom was bent over, a medium-sized stool with metal legs and a plastic seat attached to his rear-end. Ioki came over, laughing like a maniac.
"How'd this happen?"He asked between bursts of laughter. Judy, despite the fact that Hanson was giving her dirty looks, couldn't help but giggle along with him.
"Doug thought it would be funny to dump a whole tube of quick-dry super glue onto my stool while I went to get more supplies for our model!"
"Hey! It WAS funny!" Doug protested,"Even that stuck-up Mr. O'Barr laughed at you!"
"Students are supposed to be afraid of Tommy McQuaid! They aren't supposed to laugh at him!" Hanson yelled, trying to look as menacing as possible with a stool glued to his butt.
"Hanson! Calm down!" Ioki intervened before Doug could say anything back,"All you gotta do is change out of your pants and beat up a few guys at school tomorrow, and you'll be all set." He was grinning like a Cheshire Cat when he said this, however, and it wasn't making Tom feel any better, no matter how good the idea was.
"How do you propose I get out of these pants, oh Wise One?"Tom snapped to Ioki.
"Well... I got a pair of scissors in my desk..."Judy mused,"We can always cut you out of them." Judging from the evil glint she saw in Penhall's eye, she figured she shouldn't have voiced her suggestion out loud.
Doug immediately went over to Judy's desk, searching out the afore mentioned pair of scissors,"Judes! Excellent idea!" He was always willing to make Tom look stupid. It was fun, and it passed the time.
Hanson's chocolate brown eyes widened in panic as his emotions slid from extreme anger and annoyance to pure panic.
"What?" He said, disbelieving,"Don't cut me out of my pants! Especially not here! Oh come on! These are my favorite jeans, anyway!"
Penhall quickly found the scissors. He held them up and snipped them in the air, looking at Hanson with an evil smirk on his face,"Come to Pa-pi!" He said in (or what he tried to pass off as) a French accent.
"You stay away from me..."Hanson warned, trying to back up and away. Alas- the stool was keeping him from doing so successfully.
"Stop bein' such a baby. Just a few snips and you'll be free, Tommy-boy!"Penhall grinned,"Ioki, help me, would ya?"
Harry folded his arms over his chest,"Sorry, man, but I'm not risking Hanson's wrath." Penhall looked over at Judy, but she merely scoffed and out her hands on her hips.
"I'm with Harry." was her brief reply. Doug looked defeated for a moment and that was when Tom let his guard down, which actually is never a good idea in cases like these because as soon as he did so, Doug sprang into action.
Judy and Ioki (and as a matter of fact, every single person in the Chapel) watched on in amusement as the fight on the floor took place. Tom had the better defense, using the stool as an extension of himself, but even as it helped, it hindered. He couldn't get off the floor. Doug, even though he had the upper hand, was the one who had to be more careful in this tussle, for he had to watch out with the scissors to make sure he didn't stab Hanson, or an on-looker's foot.
After a good few minutes of yelling and struggling from both combatants, Doug stood up, holding aloft the stool, which had quite a large chunk of the seat of Tom's jeans attached to it. There came lots of clapping and cheering as Doug took his bows.
Hanson, on the other hand, was laying face down on the floor with his purple boxers visible to anyone who cared to look. Judy did.
"Oooohhhh, Hanson..."She said with a giggle,"Sexy underwear..."
In reply, Hanson muttered an obscenity into the floor. Just then, an Argentinian didn't fall through the roof, quickly joined by a dwarf dressed as a nun, but instead, Captain Fuller came out of his office, looking down at some papers within a manila folder he was holding.
"Ioki, I need you to look up... Hanson.. Why are you on the floor with the seat of your pants missing?"
Tom heaved a large sigh as he flipped himself over so he could look up at Fuller as Doug snickered to himself in the background, still holding the stool.
"You know what, Coach? I'm not gonna bother explaining this one. I'm giving myself the rest of the day off." He pulled himself off the floor and stalked out of the Chapel, his head held high.
Disclaimer: I do not own 21 Jumpstreet. It belongs to various other people. I do not own any tubes of spuper glue, nor do I own Tom Hanson's boxers. He is warned, however, that they will eventually become missing. Oh, I don't own the stool that makes it's appearance in this fic, either. That belongs to my Science teacher, but she is also warned. She will not be getting it back.
A/N: I want to thank my good friend, caffiene, for giving me the idea for this fic. MUWAHA. Oh, there's a line that I stole from Moulin Rouge in this, and first person to find it gets my next one-shot dedicated to them. I'm not sure if that makes anybody motivated to review, but it's worth a shot.
Now, do you see that little drop down bar? Yeah, see the button next to it that says 'Go'? Right, click that.. A little window will pop up, and I want you to put what you think about this chapter in that box. Then you click 'Submit', and you make me a very happy want-to-be author.