As soon as I stepped out of my truck and looked over to where my friends were standing I could tell that something was going on...they fidgeted as if expecting something big about to happen, as if they knew something bad was going to unfold and the anticipation was forcing them to constantly move. Each one of their embodiments was different...whatever this 'something' was, it affected each in a unique way.

I looked first to Angela. She nervously played with her clothing, all the while a look of worry... or was it sadness...etched across her face. She was removed from the insistent chatter that was enveloping around her and instead seemed focussed on her own thoughts, trying to figure something out.

That immediately had me worried. Angela was the only one among my friends who I was certain was a purely good person, someone who never held hidden agendas or motives. If Angela was so concerned about whatever it was that was happening, surely it must be bad, and important. She was never one to worry so about trivial things.

Next I looked to Jessica and cringed. She appeared to be so excited that she was literally jumping up and down, moving, pacing, a bubble of toxic energy. She looked like a cat engaging on a hunt, sniffing the air for excitement. Her smile was wide, almost frightening, which made my worry deepen even more. I may not possess the ability to read minds like Ed....like he could, but I knew most of her thoughts were preoccupied with petty and selfish things. For her to be excited like this I anticipated that this 'something' would involve subject matter such as someone else's embarrassment, pain or distress...something that she and her friends would be able to giggle over, gossip behind backs about and obtain a sense of superiority through.

My focus then shifted to Mike. He was planted more firmly to the ground than the others, moving less and resisting the urge to fidget. His face was no less descriptive than the others though.

Across his features were elements of anger, fear and sadness. I thought of how 5 months ago it wouldn't have pained me as much to see Mike's distress, but through everything that had happened Mike had been one of the only ones, along with Angela and Ben, to show any sort of friendship and concern for me. It was such a nice feeling to know that I could be weak, need help, need kindness and some people were still willing to offer it to me...not like him. My thoughts turned to him even though I willed my every fibre of being to not return there. How short my life span would be compared to his, how quickly the time would go for him, but how long it would take me to get through every day that his absence wrenched my gut and my stomach. At least I appreciated Forks more now than ever before...the weather imitated my heart....

It took me a while for their stares to penetrate my thoughts. Their faces came into my focus as one by one they turned to stare at me, slowing and finally stopping their frantic whispering, their expressions magnifying at the sight of me.

It began to dawn on me that the reason for this 'excitement' may have something, or everything, to do with me.

Jessica's lips were pursed as if she were ready to unleash all the gory details upon me. Mike looked like he was ready to physically pick me up and carry me somewhere safe.

Angela seemed to be telling me with her eyes to run, to get out of here, to save myself before it was too late. This seemed to me to be quite a desirable choice, as I had no intention of fuelling Jessica's anticipated delight with my discomfort.

However, if there was anything I had learned from the past was that no matter how hard and fast you run, you can never escape the consequences of the world around you. It was futile to try and avoid the pain if it was there to be collected. Better to face it head on and deal with whatever it brought you than let it hide in your mind to leap upon you when you let your guard down.

I approached the group with a look on my face that told them I knew something was up and I wanted to know what was going on.

I maintained eye-contact with Angela, because I wanted to hear it from her. I knew that whatever it was it was not going to be good, and I knew she would tell me in the best way possible.

With every step my heart accelerated with panic...did I want to know what has happened? What on earth could it be...was someone hurt? Charlie? Renee? Jacob? Has someone died????

I had to reassure myself that it couldn't be too bad...there were no police here, no ambulances, and no family friends.

Whatever it was, it couldn't be that bad....

could it?

"Angela" I said in no more than a whisper, "you look really upset, has something happened?"

She took a large intake of breath, obviously steeling herself for what she was about to say, the pain and regret on her face unmistakable. "Bella...."

Suddenly my heart began to thunder furiously in my body.

I felt instantly sick and could feel every inch of myself shake.

This was a purely physical reaction, not triggered by any thoughts, but instead brought on as an instinctual reaction to something my eyes caught in the periphery of my vision...

something shiny and silver in the car park...

the Volvo!

I felt immediate tears well in my eyes and the panic began to consume me thoroughly, making me grasp my middle in order to stop myself from collapsing onto the ground. I felt sick, so very sick, and frightened and...excited?

I was too scared to look towards the car in fear of what I might, or might not, see there. Instead I forced my eyes to return to Angela's, forced myself to stop the tears that were already beginning to tumble from my eyes, forced myself to swallow the nausea and the blinding panic and began to breathe again.

"Is that whose car I think it is in the car park?"

Angela only nodded in reply.

"I can't look!... is he there now?"

Another nod.

"Is he looking this way?"

With Angela's next nod I could feel an intense self-consciousness creep within me. What did I look like right now, what was I wearing...was it too tight, too baggy, how was my hair...I wish that I had looked at myself in the mirror before leaving the house today!!! Normally my appearance was not something I agonised over, but I had an overwhelming feeling of unattractiveness, of ordinariness, of not being worthy at this precise moment and it was all I could think about. Even though I detested the shallowness of obsessing over appearances I fully understood why my first reaction to this event was to worry like that...because at the end of the day what I was, and what I am, was not enough to keep Edward in my life. He had made it very clear with his actions that something about me let him down, that something about me didn't measure up. Otherwise why would he have told me he loved me forever only to take it back?

After he left me I looked at myself in a way I never had before...I looked at myself with hatred, with loathing and contempt. I had not been good enough for him and I hated myself for not measuring up, for not being what I needed when I needed it the most. I spent whole days trying to figure out what exactly wasn't good enough. My list grew larger with every day...

I was ordinary looking....if only I had been beautiful like Rosalie, perhaps he would have been so in rapture with me he wouldn't have found the strength to leave.

I was boring...perhaps if I was more interesting, had travelled more, had experienced more, then I would have interested him too much to let go.

I was untalented.... I was unremarkable, no outstanding musical talent, no creative and unusual mind, no physical prowess to boast about (unless you consider my amazing talent for tripping, falling and getting hurt prowess), perhaps if I were talented at something he would have thought that I was irreplaceable.

I couldn't change who I was, I couldn't be something different, and the saddest, most despairing feeling in the whole world was to feel like you were not good enough for the only person you ever wanted to love you. What hope did that leave you for ever being happy again? What hope did it give you that you would ever love and be loved again?

I despised myself for being who I was. Over the past few months I had been able to relieve some of that feeling by focussing on the fact that people in my life now were not the amazing, immensely beautiful, incredibly talented type of creature that he was. I was among 'mere mortals' and my light burnt just as brightly as theirs instead of being lost in the shadows of someone else's.

But now, knowing that he was here again and that he was looking at me, I remembered how very little I had to offer creatures like him. The one thing I could offer that was unique was my heart and my love, and that was something that he didn't want.

I began to feel anger rising within me...how dare he make me feel like that!

I looked to Jessica, thinking of how she belittled herself and lost my respect when she behaved judgmentally, thinking she was better than others. Perhaps he was no better than her!

I told myself this in order to stop the incredible waves of pain from knocking me off my feet. Sadness such as this was crippling, but anger was revitalising. It encouraged the body to do something about it!

The anger was beginning to work, I began to feel a sense of pride and indignation and knew that it might be just enough to get my feet to work and carry me across the carpark, past him, and into the school grounds without making an idiot of myself.

"Angela, will you walk with me to class?" I pleaded, not wanting the self-consciousness that comes from walking alone, paying attention to every step you take and trying to look nonchalant. If she walked with me I could pretend to be deep in conversation and save my dignity for the time being.

"Of course...do you want to go somewhere to talk?"

"Not right now Angela, I just want to get into class, sit at a chair and try to calm down."

"That sounds like a good idea!" she said enthusiastically, grabbing me by the arm and leading the way.

Thank god for Angela! She held my arm to angel me slightly away from where the Volvo was parked and engaged me in conversation the whole way into the school grounds...talking about her and Ben's weekend, the stupid movie he had made her sit through and the discussion she'd attempted to have with him about politics.

She kept talking insistently until before I knew it we had past the shiny Volvo and whoever was standing near it and were standing outside the classroom.

I was thankful to have gotten through this first hurdle, but my gratitude was bitter sweet. All I could think of now was the regret that I hadn't looked at him, hadn't seen his beautiful face, hadn't talked to him, hadn't gotten any answers as to why he was here and what that could mean.

I wasn't an idiot, I knew at some stage he and I were probably going to have to talk about why he was back. I knew that all that would come in good time though, and my stomach lurched knowing that it would come at a price. My heart felt physically damaged from when he left me, would it literally break this time? Was I able to expose myself again to his brilliance without my light being extinguished when he left again? Why couldn't he just leave me alone!

I entered the classroom and paused quickly to lean against the door and re-group. ..It's ok Bella, just breathe, you've made it this far...Pushing myself from the door, I began to feel a little more confident, I had a whole hour ahead in which I could think about strategy, about what I was going to do about this situation. I was also comforted that I would not be at risk of falling apart in front of this many people...I did have some pride and to break down into tears in front of an entire classroom was not my usual style.

Once I made my way to my seat a realisation dawned on me that stated my stomach lurching all over again....we planned our timetables together...so we'd have almost every class together....oh dear god in heaven, please please please don't let him keep that timetable now he's returned!!!

I whimpered, I couldn't help it, and slumped my head onto the desk. To my relief, I was actually feeling slightly amused by the whole situation. Like my clumsiness, my bad luck was limitless...I smiled...well what else could happen, really Bella this situation can't get any worse!

And as I looked to my right, the nausea climbed directly into my throat again as I realised that it could get much, much worse...I knew what else could happen...he could sit in the empty seat next to me. After he left no one had been brave enough to sit next to me in class...I was obviously THAT fun to be around. Looking at that empty chair and knowing what it could possibly mean removed all traces of humour from the situation. Instead I whimpered again and my head hit the desk with a dull thud once more.

While I was staring at years worth of scribbling and graffiti and starting to feel sick from the extremely unnatural smell on the desk....man, do they ever wash these things...I heard the classroom door open and someone walk in.

Lauren, who sat three rows down from me, sucked in her breath and whispered "well well well, what do we have here!?!" to the sheep that sat next to her, who responded with a giggle.

Then other whispers...I wonder what his story is....I wonder where he's come from....He is so hot...he's going to sit next to Bella, this should be interesting!

Oh no, here we go. I placed both palms on the table and pushed my chest up from the desk. I put on my bravest, my confident face and turned to greet.....

Who is this??