This is a short one-shot I just had to write after listening to Paper Hearts by The Vamps. Hope you like it Xx
The bullpen is empty, except for one person, Kate Beckett. After fixing herself a coffee in the breakroom, she comes back to find a piece of paper on her desk that was not there when she left. Someone must've put it there when she was in the breakroom. It's folded into a heart. A red heart. Even before opening it, she already knows from whom it is. Her finger touches the sharp corner at the bottom of the heart.
Then her head snaps up, if it was put there when she was in the breakroom, maybe he's still here. She dismisses the thought. If he was still there, he would've been at her desk. Not lurking somewhere around a corner to see if she's reading his message.
She looks back at the paper heart. Debating whether to open it. Is she ready for the complications that come with the contents of the letter? She decides that she is. She can't take his distant stance anymore. She wants to know what is going on with him. And with one swift more, she folds the heart open.
Dear Kate,
Once you said you needed space, so I gave you time. Once was a year ago and I've tried to write this letter a hundred times, to start a conversation we should have had that day in the hospital. And I may not know a lot of things about you. But I do know that I miss you. These days it's about the only thing I know. And I don't know what the future holds for us, but I hope that at least you'll write me back. It's all that I ask.
I know you heard what I said to you in the graveyard, and I don't know why you've neglected to tell me that you remember and did decide to tell a random suspect. But right now, all I have to say is this. If my heart was paper, I'd fold it and throw it in the wind and just hope it ends up with you. It's already yours. It will always be yours.
You know, I've tried to be cool, to work with you each day for the past year, but now my feeling don't allow me to. I can't keep going like this, Kate. So here's my paper heart and I hope you will hold it.
With love,
From me to you,
Rick
Kate stares at the letter for a long time. Reads it twice more. Then folds it back to the shape of a heart and holds it against her chest.
When Castle comes into the kitchen that morning, someone, his mother of Alexis, has already gotten the mail from the mailbox downstairs. He quickly swipes through it, all bills. He sighs and puts the envelopes back down. Then he shuffles further into the kitchen to get himself some breakfast. He's not up for anything special this morning, so he grabs a bowl and pours some cereal and milk into it. He then takes it back to his office.
Nerves flutter in his stomach when he thinks about last night. He'd spent so much time on that letter and he knows that she was still at the precinct when he left it for her. So she must've read it by now. He'd hoped that she would've at least sent him a message. But there were no new messages on his phone this morning. Now he wonders if it was the right move. Maybe he's scared her away. Scared her further into her shell. Maybe he should've waited.
He falls heavily into his chair and just as he wants to put his bowl of cereal down, he notices a piece a paper. Similar to the one he left at the precinct last night, only this one is pink. His heart skips a beat and he scrambles up to pick the heart up. He opens it with clumsy fingers.
Dear Rick,
I'm sorry you heard that. No, I'm not sorry you heard it. I'm just sorry you heard it like that. It's not the way I should've told you. To be honest, I was afraid to tell you I remembered. I was afraid you would pull back. Just like you did. I was scared that you said what you said in the heat of the moment and that it wasn't really how you felt. I was afraid of losing you. As a friend. As a partner. And as much much more – everything.
And I haven't had the chance to try to write this letter a hundred times, but I hope this one will do. And you're right, we should have that conversation we should've had that day in the hospital. I miss you too.
So yes, Rick. I will hold your heart, but only if you will hold mine.
Call me.
Love,
Kate