The Parting Glass
Summary: He never said if, always when. He was so sure, so certain he could destroy the best of whatever happened to him…he would die to keep it. It would kill him, destroy him from within, once he finally managed to ruin the best of what he had. Spock/Kirk, mentions of past Spock/Uhura, SpockPrime/JimPrime and various others.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or any recognizable characters.
Chapter1: None but Me
"Please, just leave it alone," he begged.
"I cannot, Captain."
"Look," he sighed, running his fingers through his hair, "You…you're everything. Everything I want, need, you are something I cannot allow myself to hope for, more than that, you are already in a relationship and I will not take that from you, I will not destroy that. If we…if I ever let myself, if you tell me I can have you, I would take all that you would be willing to give and I know that I would destroy us. Whatever connotation of us that would be and I would die. It would kill me to ruin whatever we choose to have because you and I are so connected that I feel as though you are what I am missing. You have what I do not and I need that."
"I do not understand."
"You and I have potential. We can be something great, but only if we let ourselves be all that we are meant to and right now that is not together. When I ruin us…you will hate me with all that you are and when that happens…there will be no going back."
"You are willing to do many things but not take a risk for our future?"
"Those things are little things to me. They save people who deserve a chance."
"You do not?"
"I cannot let myself hope."
"He always said when…" the horrified whisper came out partially broken.
"He's not waking up," Bones muttered. "Whatever this is it is of his own volition. There's nothing I can do."
"What do you mean he always said when?"
"From the beginning before we ever decided to be involved, before we were ever even friends, he would tell me that when he destroyed us, ruined us, that it would kill him. He said it would be his fault and I would hate him. He never said if, always when. He is killing himself."
A/N: Don't kill me! I have a reason! Really! …well, no, not a good one at least. I love Star Trek, Stargate, and Star Wars. This multi-chapter idea has been flying around in my mind since I watched the movies and I've had writers block so the other stories are slow going…but there is progress so I'll probably have a chapter or two out for A Thousand Reasons and I Saw The End Before It Began in a week or two depending on how much free time I get between my new classes. Opinions are always welcome!