This is my first story. It started as a school assignment, but I thought I would post it to see how good it is. Please, Please review. This is my first story and I want to see whether writing is something I should pursue.
One day while I was cleaning one of the many rooms in the big house of professor Kirke, the professor called all of us servants and Mrs. Macready to talk to us. "There will be a few changes around here," He stated "London is no longer safe from the bombings. All the children are being sent out of London. I have volunteered my mansion to four young children. Their mother, Mrs. Pevensie, and I were friends long ago, and I feel that I owe her this favor. Her children names' are Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy. We will be hosting them until this war ends. So be kind and friendly to them. Especially you Briana, you are the closest in age to them after all. I believe Peter is thirteen. They will be arriving in two week time. You are all dismissed."
TWO WEEKS LATER
Children, this is going to be interesting, I thought to myself. I wonder what they will be like. The Pevensies were due to arrive any moment. Finally Mrs. Macready carriage appeared. Inside were the four children Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy. They were quickly introduced to the professor, the youngest, Lucy seemed a bit afraid of him. As soon as they were finished the professor directed me to take them to their rooms. "This way please," I said as I went down the hallway. "The boy's room and the girl's room will be separated. Peter and Edmund you two will be sleeping in this room. Susan and Lucy you will be sleeping in this room." I said to them while showing their rooms to them. "I hope you will like it here." I said, as I left.
The next day I decided to check in on the children. They were in the room that the professor had set apart for them. I walked in to hear Edmund complain about the rain. "Don't be so negative," I scolded, as I entered the room. "The rain will be gone by this afternoon, I promise."
"What do we do in the meanwhile, I mean it's not as if there is much to do in this house" Edmund grumbled
"Have you seen the house yet? I'm sure you can pass the time by exploring the house." I suggested.
"That's a great idea" Exclaimed Peter. Everyone agreed.
So I showed the house. I gave them the grand tour of the house, showing them the spare bedrooms, the picture gallery, the armor room, the green room, the libraries, and other rarely seen rooms. We eventually made it up to the wardrobe room, as I called it.
"This is the Wardrobe room, the wardrobe was made out of the wood from a tree that the professor planted when he was just Lucy's age."
"Can we go see what's in it?" asked Lucy
"Why not" I said, thinking, that I never actually knew what was in there.
"I'm not going in there." Edmund said, "Only children go into wardrobes."
"Well then you three can go into the next room." I said, gesturing at Peter, Susan and Edmund. "Don't touch anything." I called to them as an afterthought.
"Let's go Lucy, don't want them to stay alone to long." I said jokingly. We neared the wardrobe. I held the door open and Lucy steps inside. I follow her leaving the door open. Inside the wardrobe were a row of fur coats. Lucy pushed through the fur coats going deeper into the wardrobe. I follow her wondering how deep this wardrobe was. Lucy then disappeared from my line of sight. Going deeper after her, I suddenly notice that the softness of the fur coats have been replaced with the roughness of, branches? What was going on? Suddenly I push through the last of the coats and come face to face to a branch. Pushing past it I see Lucy by a lamppost. Hearing a crunching sound I look down and see that I am walking on snow.
"What is this place?" Lucy asks me when I reach her
"I don't know." I reply, looking in awe at the snowy branches around me. Around us was a winter wonderland. Snow was on branches and on the ground in fresh glittering piles. Then from behind us a gasp alerted us of another presence. Looking behind I see a strange man, if he could be called that, for half of him was a goat and the other half a man. It seems we startled him as well for his several parcels crashed to the ground.
"Goodness gracious me!" He exclaimed.
I suddenly realized we were looking at a faun.
"Good evening," Lucy said. The faun made no reply, because he was picking up all of his parcels. When he finally gathered his parcels he said.
"Good evening, good evening excuse me I don't want to be inquisitive but should I be right in thinking that you are both daughters of Eve."
"My name's Lucy" Lucy said, sounding unsure.
"Yes, we are. I am Briana." I confirmed, thinking that it was a rather weird question.
"This is wonderful, I have never seen an actual Son of Adam or a Daughter of Eve before. I am delighted. My name is Mr. Tumnus."
"We are very pleased to meet you." said Lucy.
"How, excuse my curiosity, did you get into Narnia." He inquired.
"We came from that way." I answer making a vague gesture towards the wardrobe, not wanting him to know exactly where we came from.
"Oh, if only I had worked harder in school, I would know which lands lie in that direction.
"Why is it snowing here, it is summer where we come from" Lucy asked.
"It is always winter here, but never mind that, we will all catch a cold if we talk out here. Would you like to come have tea with me?" Mr. Tumnus offered.
"I don't know, we need to get back" I started, thinking about Edmund, Susan and Peter.
"Oh please, pretty please may we go." Begged Lucy.
"It's only right around this corner, and there will be a nice fire and toast and sardines and cake."
"Okay, Okay we can go." I gave in, thinking a fire would be lovely. Following Mr. Tumnus, he held his umbrella over all three of us, barely managing to hold it over all of us. We walked for a while, until the ground became rough and rocky with little hills. Lucy made conversation to Mr. Tumnus until we reached the apparent destination. Mr. Tumnus lead us to what seemed to be a large rock, but when we came close, turned out to be a door.
When we enter the cave Mr. Tumnus lit a lamp and prepared a kettle. Lucy looked impressed by his cave. I have to admit it did look tidy. His cave was clean with a carpet on the floor and three chairs making a crescent shape towards the fire. He also had a table and dresser against the walls of his cave and a mantelpiece above the fire, containing a picture of what must have been his father. Looking at a bookshelf, I read the titles on the books. They were queer titles like The Life and Letters of Silenus or like Is Man a Myth? Well, I thought to myself, we defiantly aren't myths.
"Ahem" Turning around I see that Mr. Tumnus had set up tea and Lucy was already eating. I don't blame her. Mr. Tumnus had laid out a wonderful spread of food. There were boiled brown eggs, sardines on toast, butter on toast, honey on toast, and last but not least a sugar-topped cake. I started eating. When I was done Mr. Tumnus was telling stories about his forest life. He told us about wonderful things that would take place in the forest and the fun he has had in Narnia.
"Not that it matters anymore. It is always winter now." He said glumly. Then to cheer himself up, he brought, what appeared to be a flute, and began to play it. It had a strange melody to it, making me feel many contradicting emotions. It seemed like it had the same reaction on Lucy. She soon fell asleep, and I joined her a few minutes after.
I woke up with a start. Looking around, I wondered where I was, before I remember what had happened. So it wasn't a dream, I thought to myself. "Mr. Tumnus?" I called out. Hearing a noise somewhere to the side of me, I turned to see the faun crying on the floor. "What's wrong?" I ask him.
"I'm a bad faun, a very bad faun." He said.
"No you're not" I said trying to comfort him. "You seem like a rather nice faun to me."
"No, I'm not. You would not say that if you knew what I have done."
"What have you done?" Asked Lucy in a small voice. I looked at her. I did not notice her waking.
"I have betrayed you to the White Witch." He said in a hushed voice. A shiver ran down my back.
"Who is the White Witch?'' I ask, feeling uneasy.
"She is the one who makes it always winter and never Christmas."
"That's awful." Lucy exclaimed.
"That's not the worst of it. I'm a kidnapper for her. The White Witch pays me to kidnap. Would you believe I'm the type of faun who would pretend to be friendly to two girls, who have never done anything wrong to me, and lull them to sleep and then hand them to the White Witch?"
"Of course not."
"But that's the kind of faun I am." He sobbed.
"Well, that is pretty bad, but you seem sorry. So I guess that's okay." I said.
"Yeah, if you're sorry for it, then it's alright. I'm sure you will never do it again." Lucy said, confidently.
"You don't understand I haven't done anything. I'm doing it."
"What do you mean?" Lucy said, uneasily. Understanding suddenly dawned on me.
"I have orders from the White Witch to turn in any Son of Adams and Daughter of Eve. I've done just. I've pretended to be your friend and lulled you to sleep. I was going to tell the White Witch as soon as you were sleeping." He confessed.
"But you won't now, right?" Lucy asks.
"If I don't then she will find out. Then she will cut off my tail and saw my horns and pluck my beard out. She will wave her wand and my beautiful hooves will be turned into horse hooves. Or if she is especially angry, she will turn me to stone."
"Then we must go now." I say. "If we leave now she doesn't need to `know that we were here."
"Okay, okay. Let's go" Mr. Tumnus said, composing himself. We then left, running through the woods, we took the darkest paths back to the lamppost. The sun was falling, making everything seem even more surreal than it was to begin with. When we reached the lamppost. Mr. Tumnus said, "I'm so sorry about what I was going to do. You can find your way out of Narnia from here?"
"Yes, we can. Thank you for letting us go. Goodbye. After those parting words we go back through the wardrobe. Pushing through the coats. We ran out of the wardrobe, into the room and out into the hallway. "We're back! We're back.
Well, that's it for now. If you guys really like it, I will continue. I'm in school so, I don't have much time, but I will try to update if you really like my story. Please review. ;)