Warning(s): Heavy Themes, Character Death.
Summary: Before Dean and Castiel found each other, both were going through a tremendous amount of drama in their lives. Dean was trying to face the issues in his divorced family head on, finding ways to cope with the death of his brother, Sam, in his own ways. While Castiel watched his mother get shot before his very eyes and die in front of him, leaving him and his father alone. After a grueling bet and a long complicated while later, Castiel and Dean become more than just friends - and then it happens.
Side Notes: This fic is based off the ending scene to 'Remember Me'. If you have not seen the movie and plan on seeing it, DO NOT READ THIS. If you have no intentions of seeing the movie, then feel free to read. But it gives MAJOR spoilers to the end of the film.
9:00AM.
It was early in the morning, the light shining in through Dean's bedroom window. Castiel had barely grown accustomed to the intruding light as he rolled over, feeling the side of the bed for Dean's body, only to find an empty space. He sat up right almost instinctively, glancing around. There was a note situated on Dean's pillow and he smiled as he lifted it. He'd merely gone to the same place he always went to - the diner he would eat at with Sam before he had killed himself.
Castiel took in a small breath, throwing the blankets off of him as he got up, only bothering to pull on a shirt. It didn't bother him that Dean lived with another guy - after all, it was only Gabriel. He sauntered down the hall, noticing the bed built into the wall that Gabe slept on... where he was still sleeping right that second. He shook his head, smiling as he disappeared into the bathroom.
It had been a long few months for him; those filled with love and tears. Yet, in the end, it had all been worth it. Sure, Gabriel was the reason Dean had approached him all that time ago, but it was no problem anymore. He didn't begrudge Dean like he had before. And as he turned on the shower, stripping himself of his clothes as he kicked the door shut gently, he knew everything was alright now. It had taken him years to get by the death of his mother, watching as the doors opened after they had been mugged and they'd shot her.
Maybe it had been the long stare she'd given after they had darted on the subway, he didn't know. All he knew was that because of the two men who did it, his mother was dead; leaving him with his broken father. A cop who should have probably looked into retiring a few years ago.
And Dean?
Castiel felt the lukewarm water hit his face and he let out a content sigh, just standing there with his hands against the wall. Dean had been through just as much, if not worse. He knew all about Dean being the one to find Sam's body. He also knew how torn apart his family had become, witnessing it first hand for himself. His father had grown so distant and his mother was with another man. He was stuck in between a wild web of confusion as his parents played yo-yo with this younger sister; Joanna.
All it had taken was a special haircut on poor Jo for the bickering to stop and Dean's parents to realize what was happening right in front of them. Castiel ran his hands through his hair, welcoming the suddenly cold water - he had gotten used to the poor amount of hot water in Dean's crummy apartment. He supposed it could have been worse.
He recalled Dean's explanation of how things had started between them. Dean and Gabriel had gone out drinking together, finding a couple of cute girls. They had started to walk out of the bar with them, only to notice an unfair happening between a group of guys. Dean had gone and interfered, trying to help.. only to get his ass handed to him on a plate - which had explained why Dean's face had been messed up when they had first met.
The arresting officer that night had turned out to be Castiel's father. When Dean had back talked the officer, he'd been arrested and detained; along with Gabriel. Of course Gabe had called Dean's father; John. Dean's family was wealthy and Dean's father was also a very powerful man. It had become clear what would happen when Gabriel saw Castiel getting out of his father's truck. He'd bet Dean to get close to him only to hurt him in the end to get back at his father.
9:10AM.
Castiel turned off the water, grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist. He glanced in front of the mirror, smiling to the love bites on his neck. He'd stormed out the day he had found out Dean had initially been using him. The only reason he had returned was because of Gabriel. The man had shown up at his doorstep, convincing him that he'd never seen Dean look at anyone the way he did to Castiel.
He sighed, pulling the towel free for a moment to speed dry his hair, before wrapping it back around his waist. Somewhere down the road, Castiel had fallen madly in love with Dean. It had been something he had never expected himself to find, always seeing the quickest way out of a situation. After his mother had died, all he saw in life was how things would end. He never saw beginnings or the middle of things... only the end of something tragic.
And then Dean came into his life.
There was knock on the door as he stood inside the bathroom and he looked towards the door, startled from his thoughts, "Hey Cas! You gonna be long in there or what? I just woke up and I gotta use the toilet!" he chuckled to this, shaking his head. He called back something that signaled he'd be right out.
Between the life he'd known before Dean and the life he knew now; he would never trade any of it for the life before. This was something he'd always secretly wanted, and now he had it. Castiel didn't want to let it go and he had no plans on it. Dean was someone he loved, someone he cherished that wasn't his father. Dean had been able to give him something back that Castiel had long forgotten.
9:30AM.
Castiel and Gabriel stood in the kitchen, both deciding to make breakfast instead of waiting for Dean to bring them back some bagels, "Would you watch the eggs instead of letting them burn again?" he teased, grinning as Gabe flipped him off. Dean's best friend had also been Sam's best friend, someone who had understood Dean's pain better than most... except for his younger sister.
Castiel had always been amazed by how close Dean and Joanna were, something he had always watched intensely without meaning to. He was glad he and Jo had gotten along. Had they not, well, he didn't know how that would have ended. Probably not too well was his only guess.
He felt a spray of water hit the back of his neck and he turned, sending a mock glare to Gabriel, "Watch it, you. Dean already pulled that trick on me so don't think it's going to help you seduce me," he said, grinning from cheek-to-cheek. Gabriel shook his head, muttering something incoherent under his breath. Castiel had always had his suspicions that him and Sam had been more than just friends, but he had never asked. It wasn't his place to ask...
9:55AM.
As the both of them sat with their breakfast, silently eating, Castiel felt his eyes glancing to the clock repeatedly. Maybe he was worried about Dean, he didn't know. But something had his eyes constantly glued to the time. The television was on a few feet away from them and the cartoons had begun to give Castiel a headache. He took hold of the remote, swallowing his bite of food, "I'm switching the channels, alright?"
Gabriel merely nodded his head, not really caring what they watched at this point. Though, as Castiel flipped through the channels, stopping to flip back to the news... both of their forks dropped, "Oh my god..." Castiel said, dropping the remote. He felt sick to his stomach as he backed up his chair.
It only took moments for them to dash out of the apartment, running up the stairs to the rooftop level. But even as Castiel ran, he could hear Dean's voice ringing clear through his head and he wondered for a split second if maybe he had gone insane.. if maybe he had lost complete touch with reality all over again like that night at the subway as he cried out for his mother who laid dead on the ground.
'Whatever you do in life will be insignificant. But it's very important that you do it because... nobody else will.'
Castiel could hear the Mahatma Gandhi quote being read in Dean's voice inside his head as he pushed open the door to the roof. Gabriel was following behind them, but the weather they were greeted to was not what it had been when Castiel had first woken up. Gabriel looked ahead of them as they set foot on the roof, his eyes squinting to the tiny debris in the air. He held his cellphone in his hand, pulling it away from his ear wehn he got no response from Dean. Castiel's hands found their way to his mouth, tears filling his eyes instantly.
'Like when someone comes into your life.. and half of you says you're nowhere near ready. The other half says; Make him yours forever.'
Castiel would never forget the the missing building before his eyes, no longer able to spot one of two of the largest buildings in New York City. He would never forget remembering Dean's father working for the World Trade Center; never forget Dean leaving that morning to go to the same diner, only to decide he would speak to his father that morning.
'Sam, Joanna asked me what I would say if I knew you could hear me.'
Castiel had tried to picture Dean sitting safe and sound inside the diner he always sat at, writing letters to his dead brother; to Sam. He had tried to picture the man he had fallen in love with and reconciled with coming back and surprising them with bagels, only to envelop them in a ridiculous hug - one that would lead to Castiel hitting him for making him worry.
But it never happened.
'I said I do know; I love you.'
Castiel had gone nearly twelve years without his mother, avoiding subways at all cost. But with one simple action, one simple memory, he found himself sitting on the exact line it had all happened. And all in that one moment he stepped aboard and sat in a seat away from the doors, just like it had been with Dean, he knew it would be alright.
'God I miss you.'
He remembered going home the night it had happened, worried about his father. Worried that the last bit of family he had left next to Gabriel was gone. He had sat inside his father's home, tapping the tips of his fingers against the edge of the table, waiting for him to come home. And surely enough, despite his negativity, the door had opened. He flung up from his seat, knocking the chair straight over as he turned around. It had taken him all of two seconds to wrap his arms around the man he'd ignored all this time and hug him tightly.
'And I forgive you.'
And Castiel sat there on the subway, lifting his eyes to meet with the advertisements on the subway, there was one memory inside his head that would never leave him. There was nothing that could replace that one simple act of kindness and love that had effected him from then on. The one person who had allowed him to open up his heart and see the world for something more beautiful than he had ever anticipated.
His life had always been trivial and laid out in front of him, something that had become easy to predict. Castiel had become this negative person who naturally believed in just about nothing. But someone had busted their way into his life on the simple setting of a bet and had changed everything he had ever believed in.
With the lights flashing by through the night as the subway rolled on, Castiel felt a smile grace his lips gently. He had been there when the Winchester family had buried an empty casket, not knowing where Dean's body lay amongst the rubble of the World Trade Center. He'd been there when Joanna had placed a rock on top of his gravestone out of respect. And for all his lie, Castiel knew one thing he would never forget out of everything he had remembered so far.
Dean Winchester; the man who had done something insignificant and changed more than one life forever.
