A/N: Hello, people!
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I have no beta.
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Practice Round for the QLFC: Big age difference relationship.
Severus/Lord Voldemort.
Willing and unwilling. Coercion. Dumbles isn't super good. Dubious consent. Homosexual pairing.
Severus Snape didn't understand how his life could have turned out like this. He'd been born in a hovel in the middle of a filthy, muggle neighborhood in Cokeworth, to two ruddy parents who couldn't be more dreadful for each other than they already were.
His father was a drunkard and his mother a coward. Both neglected him unless they needed a pack mule or someone to take their anger out on when their spouse wasn't available. Their rearing capabilities were shoddy at best. He despised both of them. He longed to go to Hogwarts where he could be free. Where he could actually call some place a home for once.
Severus had grown up to be a very cynical child despite managing to obtain one friend - in which he ended up losing due to his own folly - and he ended up in Slytherin where he was someone to be watched constantly. Slytherins were evil after all.
Slytherins had terrible reputations and when the Dark Lord rose to power, a former Slytherin himself, people let their hurt and anger over his actions fuel their dislike of the Slytherins. Many students suffered needlessly at the hands of the others.
Was it so difficult to believe that one quarter of Slytherin House was composed of Muggleborns? Yet certain people, whom he would not deign to even name mentally, had attacked innocent children simply because of their House affiliation.
In his teen years, Severus had grown to despise Gryffindor because of the Marauders and how they could break any rule in the manual and find no punishment awaiting them. Neither Minerva nor Albus had ever done anything to quell the obvious bullying coming from the four Gryffindors and with that, the hearts of many students hardened against them.
Why fight for a cause that allows people to be torn apart and bullied mercilessly?
Severus was skilled in Potion Making and Creation, as well as Spell Creation. He was a rarity and he knew it, but he also knew that his skills would only ever be fully appreciated by the Dark. And when he lost his best friend due to a mixture of his foolishness and Potter's bullying, he chose his side firmly.
And the Dark Lord was obsessive over him! He wouldn't say adored, because Slytherins never allowed others to know of what made them the most joyful, but he would say pleased. The Dark Lord had been pleased with him despite him possessing Muggle blood.
He was put to work in the fields he was best at and given a place among peers that actually respected him. Of course he wouldn't want to leave! Not when he finally had the attention he'd always wanted! Not when he was finally desirable in someone's eyes.
And so Severus attained his Masteries and put himself to work for the Dark's cause, following the Dark Lord's every whim without question. He had become a favored one among the Inner Circle within a year of service and as a Death Eater without any familial ties or friends outside his duty, he was always available.
And the Dark Lord surely made use of his… availability.
At first it had been an honor or so he had believed. That the Dark Lord himself would come to Severus for such… relief had been like a boon in the young man's eyes. He'd felt honored and had followed his master willingly, allowing himself to be molded this way and that, doing as his lord commanded.
All of that changed when he'd relayed the part of the prophecy he had heard. Lily had become a target and in his haste, he had propositioned Albus Dumbledore for help, not knowing what the old bat had his mind on when he demanded the Vow.
It was simply a precaution and when he learned from Pettigrew of all people, that the Potters were dead, he felt his pride and his adoration for the Dark Lord splinter into nothingness. The man had completely ignored Severus' pleading for Lily's life and it was in that moment that he realized that his former master was not as amazing as he seemed.
He lied, manipulated, and every so often, reneged on his promises. And so all Severus had left to turn to was Albus Dumbledore.
The old man had seemed perfectly fine in the first year. Severus was the loyal little Death Eater Spy who had served the Light so wonderfully under Dumbledore's leadership. The old wizard had the power to either make or break Severus and he wasn't foolish enough to believe that he could sway anyone to his side. He wasn't a particularly well liked individual.
Dumbledore manipulated his guilt over Lily, getting him to promise to keep her son safe. The son that supposedly looked exactly like James Potter, but possessed Lily's eyes.
Severus hated everyone around him. He hated the Light propaganda and the false smiles of geniality that the Headmaster bestowed on anyone who came near him.
In his years of service, Severus had done many things he wasn't proud of. His conscience was by no means clear nor even lifted. He felt terribly for everything. Serving the Dark Lord, serving Dumbledore. Both masters, both equal sides of evil.
'No man can serve two masters for either he will hate the one and love the other or else he will hold to the one and despise the other.' The Bible was wrong. Severus hated them both equally.
The worst part was when he had… been coerced into unspeakable things by the Headmaster.
Many did not wish to believe it, but the old man was as cunning and conniving as any Slytherin and he was willing to do anything to get a leg over the Dark Lord, including ordering Severus to… please him once more.
And so Severus remained as a spy in the Dark Lord's ranks when he returned and became the 'most faithful' once more. His lord always had need of him and Severus used his Occlumency skills to block out the painful and unwanted memories of their time together.
The Dark Lord had very… morbid interests, in which he often used his familiar during their… time alone.
Severus got too close to Nagini too many times.
The end of the war had come abruptly in his opinion. He knew that Potter would do it. The boy must have been force fed Felix Felicis as a child because he always managed to come out alive and Severus had no doubt he'd do so once more.
Severus was not one of those people who would die without regrets, because even as the man's familiar had attacked him, the Dark Lord stood by, watching as if he hadn't been the man's best bed-mate. Hadn't been a devoted follower.
Death would have been better. He should have taken the potion when he'd had the chance. He'd have been free of both Dumbledore and… Voldemort.
Severus Snape died while in searing pain, the heavy weight of guilt pulling him down into the depths of hell and the flashing of Lily's eyes cursing him as he took his last breath.
A/N: Another is done!
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