Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.
She kept reminding him that she wasn't her with every smile, every word, and every touch. Blonde, small and petite with blue eyes, the woman was beautiful. She was a little closer to his age than his former girlfriend; she was also well-read and intelligent, an economist – and very much interested in a serious relationship with the reputable Professor Skywalker of the Endor University.
Luke broke the kiss, so tame and settled, and leaned back to smile at her, staring down into Carla's blue eyes. "Have I told you yet how stunning you look tonight?"
"Not yet. Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself."
"Would you like some wine?" he asked next. This was their seventh or eighth outing, and they had made it into his house after an evening of cultured amusements – the black-tie required opera and dinner at posh restaurants kind of date.
"That'd be lovely."
Carla let him go to the kitchen without protests, and Luke tried and failed to shake off the thought of what she would do. For starters, she would never settle for a kiss that didn't involve tongues. She would mess his hair as her fingers would tangle in it. She would try to get him out of the suit jacket and vest and definitely would make him lose the tie – probably ripping off a button or two on his shirt in the process… all of this in the hallway. They wouldn't make it to drinks until after visiting the bedroom.
He located the wine and stilled as he noticed the label. It was the last bottle from a crate she had brought him from one of her many travels across the Republic. Luke thought she had packed it with the rest of her things. Blinking, he swallowed and shook his head. He enjoyed the flavor – it had been their favorite cherry red – so he opened it and grabbed two glasses, making his way back to the living room.
"I hope you don't mind red."
"No, of course not." Carla accepted the glass and took a sip. She did mind.
The next moment, Luke had to fight an impulse to scowl as he watched her. Carla spat the wine back into the glass and put it on the table, coughing. "Oh, so-sorry!"
"Are you alright?" he asked, taking a sip himself. The wine was fine – heady and rich with a fruity aftertaste as always. He took another with his eyes trained on Carla wondering what her problem was. She was apparently embarrassed for getting caught doing something as unsophisticated as spitting out the wine.
"Ah-yes." Carla's gaze flittered to the glass in his hand and then back to his eyes, blushing. "Did you like the performance?"
"It was interesting." Not really, but he wasn't going to say that.
They remained silent, and he could see how the evening had taken a turn for the worse. He was tired of being the perfect gentleman Carla expected Professor Skywalker to be. He wanted to make himself comfortable, put his feet on the table, listen to music, drink the wine and make love on the sofa in front of the tall glass windows, unhurriedly, for the rest of the night … but he couldn't imagine doing any of those things with Carla – the refined and well-educated economist who showed up every Sunday at the Temple.
She had spoilt him for any other woman, he supposed, with her total disregard for anything proper, wild, untamed, uninhibited in their lovemaking, not caring about other people's opinions in the slightest. They had ended up in her bed on their first date which actually even hadn't been a date.
-.-.-
"Need a hand?" an amused voice asked from behind him. Luke straightened, hit the opened hood with his head and turned quickly toward the owner of said voice. Then he blinked twice just to make sure his eyes were not deceiving him.
A pretty young girl stood before him, clad in ripped jeans and a leather jacket with a backpack slung over one of her shoulders. She was familiar, and it took him a moment to realize that he knew her. She was attending one of his evening lectures; those night classes for the public focusing on basics of engineering. She was exceptionally appealing, and he had often found himself staring in her direction, losing his train of thought.
A faint blush spread over the back of his neck and Luke was grateful that he was one of the lucky individuals who usually didn't turn red in the face when embarrassed. "It's nothing serious, but I can't fix it without proper tools."
"Let me see." She let her backpack fall to the ground and walked closer, getting him out of her way with a provocative hip-shove. Winking cheekily, she said, "'Scuse me, I don't mind looking at you, but I need to see the engine, not your pretty face."
Well, now he felt his cheeks heat up; tomato red was spreading all over his face.
"Just what do you think you're doing, Miss?"
"It's called flirting, and it's polite to flirt back."
"That's… what?" Luke spluttered, but the girl didn't pay him much attention as she tinkered with the engine.
"Yeah, you're right. There's nothing to be done about it now. Need a lift, Professor?"
She straightened, without hitting the stupid hood, and her dark eyes twinkled at him. "I promise I'll behave. No flirting without you giving your permission."
Luke looked around the empty street and checked the time. Almost ten. That was the reason why he was going to agree, he told himself as he reached for her backpack. "I would appreciate that. Mind if I help you with that?"
They made it to her car without any flirting incidents. Her name was Rey, she was twenty-two, had her own car-repair shop which she had inherited from her step-dad and was trying to get her degree in mechanical engineering – hence the evening classes. Luke was impressed.
Before she started the engine, she glanced at him and bit her lip. "Listen, I was wondering…"
"Yes?" Luke turned to look at her, noticing that there was a smudge of motor oil on her cheek, that her eyes were so very dark and deep and that her lips were a light shade of pink. They looked kissable, and he wanted to shake his head at himself. She was old enough to be his daughter.
"Don't take it the wrong way," she said and closed the distance between them, kissing him with passion.
For a moment, Luke hadn't the slightest idea how to react before the instincts kicked in and he kissed her back. Her right hand tangled in his hair while her left arm wounded around his neck and Rey crawled into his lap. Luke was faintly aware that his own hands found their way to her backside and helped her from her seat, tugged her to him, and then rested on her hips.
Making out in a car at the university campus? That hadn't happened to him in a long time.
"So, I was wondering… wouldn't you mind stopping at my place before I drop you off at yours?" she asked after she broke away, panting, her eyes wide and lips swollen.
"This is a terrible idea, Rey." Luke regained some of his senses and reluctantly released his hold on her hips. He wasn't sure how to go about moving Rey off his lap, though, or that he wanted her to move at all.
"What's so bad about it? I like you, and I know you like me; I've noticed your staring. We have chemistry. Isn't life too short for missing these opportunities? I don't know how about you, but I'm not gonna go through my life just scavenging bits and pieces of happiness. Right now, you coming home with me would make me happy. Aren't you curious if it will work both ways?"
-.-.-
Luke focused his attention on Carla's scarf which she had draped over the back of her seat, exposing her neck and shoulders to his gaze. It was a very subtle signal, appropriate at this stage in their relationship, but he wasn't able to stop the comparison with Rey. She had usually dropped all of her clothes to the ground without any care in the world, enjoying his eyes on her with shameless glee.
It was not working, Carla only kept reminding him of the way how good it had been when he had been crazy in love, living nothing but a fleeting dream. Even in Carla's presence, he was still lonely, and Rey was still gone.
This wasn't love, what he felt for Carla. It was lukewarm affection, perhaps, but it was a far cry from the insane intensity of the emotion he had felt for his young lover. And it wasn't fair to the lady in front of him. Luke rose from his seat and put the glass of wine away, offering Carla his hand. "Why won't you let me call you a taxi, my dear?"
The woman look stunned for a moment but accepted his hand. Luke called the taxi, helped her into her coat, brought her the scarf back and kissed her goodbye on her cheek when the cab arrived.
"I'm sorry, Carla," he said and meant it. Carla was everything a man like him could want in his life partner. He just wanted someone wholly unsuitable for him, someone, who didn't think about marriages and golden rings tying her down.
"So am I – but I understand. We lack something vital, don't we?" Her blue eyes were glistening, but she tried for a smile.
"You are a wonderful woman who deserves a man who can appreciate you as you are." Luke brought her hand to his lips and then helped her into the car.
When Carla was gone from his life for good, just when the taillights disappeared behind a corner, Luke returned to his empty house. Collapsing on the sofa, he put his feet on the expensive coffee table and finished the whole bottle as he watched the late night turn into early morning. Around four a-m., he picked up his phone and didn't know if he should be grateful or angry for deleting her number and all the texts. He didn't need to add drunk dialing to his long list of regrets.
No matter how he tried to forget her, he still clung to all the memories she had left behind like the old fool he was. Lowering his head, he whispered, "I never should have left."
-.-.-
He kept reminding her that he wasn't him. It was all wrong; his height, the angle at which he kissed her, the broadness of his shoulders, and the stupid color of his hair. Rey's neck hurt from trying to kiss the giant of a man, and she hadn't gotten used to his habit of picking her up to bring her close.
She supposed that the casual display of strength should impress her, but the fact was, Rey wasn't impressed. He rode a motorbike, sang in a rock band and was all very manly – but Rey just wasn't impressed. She hadn't been even earlier that evening, when her new love interest had gotten into a fistfight, which he had won, with a guy who had been staring at her at the bar for 'fucking eternity.'
They bumped their foreheads painfully as she tried to kiss him with a bit of fervor, and his nose was damn too large for anything resembling passion – not for the lack of trying on his part, though.
"Easy, baby, let's leave that for the bedroom," he whispered huskily when she pushed him into the wall next to the door to her shop – by nothing but a pure accident. His deep, smooth voice made her shiver in anticipation, and Rey purred. At least there was that; Kylo was by all the usual standards a very handsome man, and the massive bulge in his black leather pants promised to make their night interesting.
Rey didn't plan on sleeping much.
"Come on, big boy," she whispered into his ear and wrapped her legs around his waist utilizing their physiques for some fun. "Show me what you've got."
"With pleasure." Kylo grinned and mounted the steps leading to Rey's apartment, right above her shop. He was strong and wasn't keeping back, giving as much as he got. Rey could appreciate that, liked it rough from time to time, but still couldn't help thinking about him when they pushed through her door and stumbled inside, bumping into the walls and cabinets along the way to her bedroom, both amassing a fine collections of bruises and scratches, losing parts of their clothing.
He would hold her hand on the way up the stairs and then kiss her in the hall, leaning her against the wall, caressing the lines of her body with his hands sweetly. She would try to convince him to take her right then and there and maybe succeeding, but probably not. He would blush when she would undress quickly and tear off the buttons of his shirts – by accident, of course – and laugh at her impatience when she would maneuver them to the couch, unwilling to wait to the bedroom – each step of the way filled with kisses and compliments. Later, they would drink wine – their favorite cherry red. She still had one full crate left.
She lowered her feet back to the ground and pushed Kylo on the bed, grinning at his stunned expression when she followed him and straddled his lap. "Hope you don't mind girls on top."
"Quite the opposite." He just reached for her and started paying attention to her breasts, kissing and sucking. Rey tangled her fingers in his hair and put her palm to his cheek, guiding him a bit lower. Damn, she missed the beard, and Kylo's hair was not only the wrong color but also too long.
"Do you like it?" he asked. "You like it, don't you?"
"Yeah, yeah… just…" Rey swallowed and slipped off him. "I'll be back in a minute. A girl needs a girl's time. You don't mind?"
Kylo looked like he did mind but flopped down on the bed and bunched the covers as he made himself comfortable. "Sure, no hurry."
"Be right back!" Rey gave him another wicked grin, suggestively looked at the impressive tent in his boxers and disappeared into the bathroom.
Damn, he had spoilt her for any other man with his kind eyes, soft smiles, and gentle touches, with his patience and tenderness. How could she enjoy the wild ride that was Kylo when all she could think of was a pair of blue eyes blinking at her sleepily in the light of the rising sun? Damn, damn, damn. Staring at her expression in the mirror above the sink, Rey fought the urge to cry.
-.-.-
Rey let herself into his house quietly and tiptoed into the kitchen, thirsty. It was almost eleven, and she knew she was late. Luke was probably in bed, already absorbed in one of his books. She had promised to come by tonight; at least for a cuddle if nothing else. She liked those as much as their other activities – not that she was going to admit that out loud.
She had heard him pad into the room and greet her softly.
"You're tense. Long day at the shop?" Luke asked and nuzzled her neck, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. "What would you say to a nice dinner, a bottle of wine and a movie? I let you choose."
"No sex? I was looking forward to some… decompression." Rey giggled and turned in the embrace. He wasn't in his pajamas, and that was a nice surprise. A pair of blue eyes briefly heated up before Luke managed to change his expression into a mock glare.
"Uh-oh, I don't think so, you look dead on your feet. Let's take it easy tonight, love."
Rey shivered at the word, feeling stupidly warm and giddy inside. Love. Luke made it seem so easy, dropping it in their conversations almost casually, calling her that often. If it wasn't love, it was dear, or honey, or darling – only when he was exasperated with her, he would use her name.
She kissed him and was only slightly disappointed when he stopped her wandering hands several minutes later. His eyes had gotten darker, and she knew that they were thinking along the same lines. Sex now, food later, movie maybe. But Luke had always been a spoilsport, so very controlled and disciplined.
"I was serious. Not every time we see each other, we have to end in bed."
"I was thinking about the couch, actually; I like yours, the view is pretty."
"Yes, well," he cleared his throat, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks. As far as Rey knew, she was the only one who made him turn red. "I'm sure my neighbors do not."
"We didn't have the lights on, so no one could see us. Besides, I think you liked that. Professor Skywalker of the Endor University, fucking in front of his high windows of his damned living room for all to see… just the thought made you harder…"
"Rey!" he caught her hands and kissed the tip of her nose. "I admit that I lose my mind when I'm with you, but please… Can you stop undressing me?"
She pouted but ceased her attacks and leaned for another soft kiss. The man was ruining her. She never had done this before; holding hands when they waited in the line for popcorn, and sharing a bed without getting naughty. "Alright… but I'm not hungry. Let's just cuddle on the couch and listen to some music for a bit."
"Okay."
Luke opened a bottle of wine, poured two glasses and turned the stereo on. Rey flopped down on the couch next to him and then put her head into his lap, one of her feet on the coffee table. He traced the line of her jaw for a moment before he started to stroke her side.
"Stop! That tickles!" Rey squirmed.
"Oh, does it? My apologies." Luke tickled her some more, and that forced her to sit. Wrapping his arms around Rey's torso, he rested his chin on her shoulder, laughing. "No, no! Don't run! I'll behave!"
"I wasn't running! That, mister, was a declaration of war!" Rey grinned and attacked his ribs with her nimble fingers. That action earned her a howl of laughter from her lover, and they fell back into the cushions, struggling for dominance. Rey came on top, tickling him with all she had.
"Do you surrender?" she asked gleefully.
"Never!" Luke flipped them over and grinned down at her. "Do you?"
"Never!"
And the battle raged on. Eventually, they turned off the lights and made love without hurry on the couch while the music played on. Then they just cuddled, laughing and talking, or being silent, until the morning light greeted them with a new day.
-.-.-
Rey stepped out of the bathroom and chuckled as she saw the prone form of her almost lover on the bed, fast asleep. The sheets were a tangled mess around his body. She took a moment to admire it – he was a big man who liked to work out, and there wasn't much wrong with the way he looked. He just kept reminding her how good it had been when she had been crazy in love with someone else. Rey couldn't help but feel that it should be Luke instead; tangled in the sheets he had bought for her after he had complained too many times about the scratchiness of her old ones.
Even wrapped in Kylo's strong arms, she felt lonely, and Luke was still gone. No one could replace him. She missed the faded nights they had spent awake, snuggling under the covers, sipping wine and waiting for the morning light to have breakfast in bed. She missed those quiet moments of tranquility – missed him.
She quickly dressed in the clothes she could find on the floor of the bedroom – and the hallway and the kitchen. Then she scribbled a short note for Kylo, grabbed her car keys and a bottle from the crate, determined.
As she had once told him, she would not settle for scavenging happiness, and Rey knew that she hadn't been even remotely happy since the moment he had walked through her door with the ring she hadn't wanted in his pocket. If he still wanted to put that thing on her finger, well. She would try to be a bit more conventional in that regard if it would make him call her his love again.
She didn't have the keys to his house anymore, but there was light on in his living room, even though it was around four a.m., so Rey knocked and held her breath.
It took a moment for Luke to open the door.
"Rey? What are doing here?" he asked, surprised. He was in a dress shirt and had the tie hanging loosely around his neck, and his hair was a mess, and he had been obviously drinking judging by the way his blood-shot eyes shone.
"I thought we might share the bottle…" she showed him the label. She had gotten two crates when she had been on holiday in the southern regions of the Republic, and immediately thought of him when she had tasted it for the first time. "But I guess you have a head start."
"I… uh… come in." He stepped aside, and as Rey was passing him, he wavered on his feet, and his arm twitched as if he wanted to reach for her. He closed the door behind them and followed her carefully into the living room.
Rey noticed the second glass, almost untouched, and swallowed. "Are you alone?"
"Yes… Why are you here, Rey?" Luke asked, and his eyes lingered on the purple love bite on the edge of her cleavage, desolation filling the blue depths. She hadn't seen him so unraveled, ever – he had always been so put together, a professor of one of the most prestigious universities in the world. The only times he had been anything but unflappable were the moments when they were alone, and she had done or said something to make him redden.
She had to fight the impulse to go to him and beg for forgiveness for being so stupid.
"I missed you," Rey whispered and put the bottle on the table, turning around to gaze out of the windows. The houses down the street were dark, and over the eastern horizon, the skies were getting brighter. "I actually didn't plan on what I would say. You know me, acting first, thinking later."
"It's one of the things I love about you," he said quietly, and she felt as he stepped behind her, hesitating still. She raised her eyes to watch his reflection on the glass and bit her lip as she waited what he would do next.
Luke took a deep breath and then wrapped her in his arms, bowing his head over her shoulder and closing his eyes. He shuddered as he said brokenly, "I missed you, too."
Rey turned in his embrace and put her hand on his cheek, enjoying the scratchy feeling of his beard. Everything about him was just right – the height, the broadness of his shoulders, the color of his hair. He was right. Luke's eyes lightened considerably, and he kissed the tip of Rey's nose before lowering his head to her mouth.
His breath smelled of wine, and his lips tasted of their favorite cherry red.
AN: Yes, it is a Luke/Rey ship, and before you Reylo fans skin me alive as one of you tried to do in a guest review on my other fic "Treat You Better," please keep in mind that there is nothing actually wrong with an older man/younger woman relationship. Just look around, it simply happens. Also, keep in mind that while a guy in his early fifties (which is around Luke Skywalker's official age in Episode VII/VIII) can look like your grandfather, he can also look like Brad Pitt, Robert Downey Jr. or George Clooney. So please leave a comment that will express your opinion in a civilized manner.
Sorry for that long lecture but some people who just spout insults without giving their name/nick or any way of responding make me angry. Hope you enjoyed the story and stay tuned for my other fics.
