So, it's really short. Yeah.
He sometimes has these fleeting moments of resolution.
He'll tell her today, tomorrow, in a week.
And he will spend seconds, minutes, hours practicing a speech that
some part of him knows he will never say.
Many times he has walked into her office with these words in his head.
All of these times he has left with the words still in his head.
This is because he is a coward.
Not that he would ever openly admit that.
No.
But he thinks of all the things that would be wrong with it,
everything it would screw up.
He is also selfish.
He likes being single, he likes being free.
And, well, with Gillian he would never be free.
He could never leave her.
No matter how bad it got, how much he wanted to run, he knows he would
never be able to leave her.
So, instead of tying himself down to something he knows he could never
shake off, he leaves.
He walks past her in the hallway, lingers long enough to smell the
wave of perfume that passes him. To hear the remnants of a laugh.
He is selfish, indulgent, a fool.
He wants nothing, and yet, he wants it all.
He wants her.
But he wants everything else more.
Do you all hate me yet? ;)