(HICHI POV)
what have i done to him? all i am is a pushy hollow he could care less for. just a hollow to him. just a hollow... i guess...it'd be better if i just...died right? That'd be fine. He wouldn't miss me. Hell, he probably wouldn't know im gone. He's that clueless. Sometimes it sickens me to know that he doesn't know, but then I ask myself. What if he did know? What would happen then? Would he be happy if I died?
(ICHIGO POV)
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with hichigo! he's all sulky...and he's never sulky. I should know. maybe i should go ….talk to him? it might help. Actually no, that'd just make him pissed off as hell... and then it would turn into a fight, and god knows, I wouldn't want that. Of course, I always love good fights. Just not with hichigo. With someone I don't really mind hurting too much, it's fine, but I dont like hurting my hollow. It just feels wrong, y'know?
" god…. he's just so confusing.." i said, scratching the top of my head. It ticks me off sometimes, when I don't know what people are thinking. It makes me feel useless…mostly I'm just useless to him, I just know it. Huh, I should just give him my body. It's not like I need to live, right?
"who's confusing?"
i nearly jumped out of my skin at the voice in my head. hichigo. shit. Blushing lightly, i answered, "n-no one!" of course, he couldn't see the blush (thank god). But he heard the stutter. Shit. Again. WHY, oh WHY did I always stutter? Did my voice just like to betray me every day and leave me in the dust? Way to go, ichigo! You sound like you just got out of therapy. Stupid, stupid me.
"really..?" this time, hichigos voice came from behind me. i turned around, getting ready for any attack he had. But, instead of attacking, he just stood there, staring at me. But not in any way. They were far away, like he couldn't actually see me. As his eyes were looking at me, it was as if they were passing through me, not really seeing ME. They were kind of… clouded over in emotion. Emotion? Hichigo has emotion…? Since when? It looked a bit scary, as if he was thinking of something at the time.
"w-what?" I asked him. hichigos eyes flashed for a second, something like…. Regret? Hichigos eyes shown regret, out of all emotions? Maybe im just reading it too much. Or im just seeing things. Great job, ichigo. You're going senile. Wait, what did hichigo have to be regretful for? Nothing I could think of right off the bat….so, just what is it?
hichigo looked away, his gaze suddenly directed to a nearby tree. His eyes looked…sad. Very sad, and… lonely. Then…tired too." I'd never think I'd do this..." he murmured, his voice becoming shallow. Just what had gotten into hichigo? It was scaring me. What happened to the hichigo who wanted to kill me like there was no tomorrow? What happened to the sarcastic grinning hichigo who wanted to take over my body and use it as his own? I want that hichigo back! I don't want this new hichigo! This…imposter!
suspicion clouded my mind, slowly taking over. Do what? He was standing here. Did he never think he would do this…? Stand infront of me? Well, I never thought he would do that either, but he looked a little to…..intimate for that. "do what?" I asked instead.
hichigos eyes widened, as if he didn't know what he said was outloud. Like, really off in space. What the hell is bothering him? and why wont he tell me anything? Well, I didn't really think he trusted me, but he was my other half, right? I should be able to listen. Ah, hell. Who am I kidding? Why the fuck would hichigo EVER talk to me like that? Damn. I didn't even think -
"bye, ichigo" his voice was cold, almost pained. It made me want to shiver, but I held it back as I stared at him. bye? What did he mean bye? Hichigo wasn't going anywhere, right? Right? Right!
then, all of a sudden, hichigo turned, and ran away. When he turned, i thought it was in slow motion. He was just so…something. As he moved, I saw slight wet tears glistened off his eyes, a few coming down off his paled face. Wait, w-what? Hichigos crying? And where is he going…? What is he doing! Hichigo, don't do something stupid!
wondering what the fuck he thought he was doing, I chased after him. i chased him on and on, my breath becoming shallow as I ran further and further away from town. It seemed like forever when we were running, like I couldn't catch up to him no matter what. It was frustrating. But after we passed a few landmarks, i found out where he was running to. The old bridge on the outskirts of town. What does he want to do there….? And why is everything in my mind loosing connection? What's happening?
After a few minutes of constant running, we got there. I came to an abrupt halt, as I saw hichigo climbed to the ledge. he was staring at me, still crying. My own eyes widened as I was still panting, staring at him. What was he doing? WHY WAS HE CRYING? WHAT HAPPENED TO HICHIGO!
Then something clicked. He was going to jump. He was jumping. He was killing himself. No, no, no! He cant do that! Shit, what am I going to do- HE CANT DIE ON ME!
just before he fell, he said in a loud, quivering voice state solidly, " i-i love you, ichigo kurosaki", then he jumped. My eyes clouded over, everything going into a blur this point. Those words rang in my ears as he fell. Before I could react with my mind, my feet flashed forward. Honestly, I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, before i cried\shrieked out his name, and raced to the ledge, jumping in after him.
what the hell is he thinking, doing that? is he completely an idiot? Hichigo, don't die! You fucking idiot, don't die! You cant die on me! No, no, no, no, NO!
i dived downwards, after him, without thinking. i caught his arm, and pulled him into me at we still plummeted down lower, lower, lower.
He's a total idiot, trying to kill himself! His eyes widened, and he screamed at me. At that point, i didn't hear him. I didn't care to hear him. Hichigo, on top of me, i put my back to the water. Hichigo thrashed and pulled away from me, as if I was burning him. But hell, I couldn't bring myself to care. I hugged him close as we plummeted into the water, cold and icy as it was. Hichigo tried to push me off, but i held on.
I held on for dear life as I dragged him up to the surface of the lake, and pulled him onto the shore. He already was passed out in my arms, limp to what my eyes could see. I coughed and ached, my back burning with the feeling of water slapping down on my skin. Water spit out from my mouth as I tried to clear my senses. It was cold out, and my body felt numb as ia shivered out.
But one thing, and one thing only coursed through my mind.
Hichigo was alive..
hichigo...your completely insane….you know that? really, REALLY insane... what did you think you were doing, you stupid albino?
slowly, i leaned down, kissed him, then whispered in his ear. "i love you to, hichigo..." was guttered out of my lips, which were turning blue due to the coldness. I shivered again. Then again. And again. I couldn't stop myself form shivering at this point, even if I wanted to. I was cold and wet, with another wet body against mind, cold and passed out.
i pulled him up on my arms, as a shot of pain went through my body. shivering and dripping wet, i walked home, with hichigo in my iced arms.
(HICHIGO POV)
the last thing i saw was ichigo crying out my name, and strong, warm hands wrapping around me as we fell. then all went black. Everything, everything around me was black. I was trying to escape the blackness, but it grew thicker as I struggled. Then, light.
i awoke in ichigos bed, with ichigo sleeping silently next to me, his arms around my waist. Sitting up, I shivered. My hair was still dripping wet from the intense fall.
" mmmm..~ hichi-go..." ichigos arms tightened around me, still sleeping. i blushed, then looked down at him, then sighed. why am i here exactly? i jumped...didn't i? Wait a fucking moment. Shouldn't i be dead? i know i did but... looking down at ichigo again, i saw his hair dripping wet, and his cloths were damp. i widened my eyes. He didn't...jump in after me? dumbass! he could have DIED! The fuckin idiot! I thought king had more fucking sense than THAT!
" ichigo!" I shouted, growling as I pushed ichigo awake slowly. He didn't budge for a few moments, before he slowly rolled over to stare at me. the orangettes eyes were dropped closed halfway for a bit, before they came more alive and awake. Despite the situation, I thought it was cute. Honestly, ive never seen him sleep. I just pictured it in my mind every now and then, his hair all over the place as he tossed and turned slowly, trying to rid his mind of nightmares or dreams, pushing them away in his own little blocked out mind – which I lived in. I didn't mind though, there was surprisingly a lot to do in a mind like that. And I mean, A LOT.
" hmm... hichigo?" he asked sleepily, before his eyes widened, remembering. "hichigo, ARE YOU OK?" he practically screamed out.
he sat up, then flinched, grabbing his upper arm. Where his hand lay out was a big bruise, and a slight indention in his arm where his bone stuck out. did he get that...saving me? The bastard! He's such a baka! What, again, did he think he was doing? That…thing in his arm wasn't just a little indentation. It was LARGE. And by no doubt, I was sure it HURT.
" idiot, what the hell did you think you were doing?" I shouted at him, glaring daggers in his direction. But, it seemed, like it hadn't fazed him. Maybe he's not fully awake. Yeah, that's one way to excuse himself for what he did. That he wasn't 'awake' at the time. No shit.
ichigo blinked and stared, surprised. "huh, what?" His voice was heaved with sleep, sounding groggy and departed as he talked. He even sounded tired still. Which, in a way, I wouldn't blame him. No, now's the time to be mad at him! I want to hurt him, yeah, I want to be mad at ichigo!
" why did you jump in after me? you could have died!" I hissed instead, still glaring with brighter eyes than I was sure was possible. But oh well, it adds to the madness. Not like I really cared much.
" what was i supposed to do? let the person, one person in my life that i loved, die in front of my eyes? again? to many of the people i love die in front of me, i cant let another!" by now, ichigo was awake. I could tell. More emotion became in his mind, his body, everything. He looked mad himself, which I
i sat in silence, staring at me hands. i knew what he was talking about... his mother.
" you know who im talking bout right?" ichigo shook his head, his voice lowering a bit as he talked. " i swear you skull is so thick, i cant get anything through it." ichigo laughed, a little harshly. It sounded forced. " anyway..." ichigo glanced at me, worried. He was determining what parts of me were fine, and what was damaged. " now...lets fix you up." He stated.
i looked down, noticing numerous lacerations, bruising, and sticking out bones, then i turned a little green. Then i looked over to ichigo, noticing the same. " im so sorry..." I tried to apologize.
ichigo put one of his bruised hands on my face, and kissed me. " don't be" was all he said. I stared at him in a bit of shock, blinking as the still feeling of his lips lingered on mine. The orangettes lips were warm – and soft. Like a warm summer breeze, if I knew what it felt like. I only know that from ichigos past memories of summers and summers ago, but i've never actually experienced summer. But I thought his lips felt shocking similar to this running thought.
ichigo got up, but fell almost at the same time on the floor with a grunt. " ah-!" I heard ichigo whimper a bit and groan, his voice tinged with hurt.
"i-ichigo, you alright!" I asked\shouted out, moving to the edge of the bed to look at him closely. When I looked at his legs, noticing bone that stuck out slightly, making indentations on his legs. Those beautiful legs...all damaged... How could that happen by just jumping in water? Unless the cold force made his body weaken.…that might be it. It's happened before to ichigo, right? I vaguely remembered that from his past memories.
"i-im fine" ichigo tried to get once more, but failed miserably. Falling back on the floor, ichigo groaned in pain. I scrambled off the bed to help him up, but it didn't help as pain flashed throughout my whole body suddenly, pulsing every step i walked. But for this I ignored it, making my face twist every now and then as I got to ichigo. Stupid king, I can't believe he jumped. It was stupid – even as smart as his king was. What did he think he was doing, really? Sometimes it scared me when ichigo rushed himself for the most random things, like trying to save me when I jumped. And look at him now. He looks so….torn up. Slightly panting, ichigo lay there, his whole face masking in pain. I didn't like to see my king like this. It wasn't right. Ichigo should be grinning every chance he got, happy and living.
" hichigo, don't walk around!" ichigo said, his voice frantic as he yelled out. i glared at him. Does he REALLY think ill leave him on the floor? He must be crazy...well, its ichigo after all. We all know he's a little bit outta there. Right, people?
ignoring his statement, i said " your more hurt than i am, ichigo. Don't screw with me." my coldened voice made ichigo stiffen up a bit.
ichigo blushed, looking away. all he said, while mumbling was " so...?" so? SO? Really, this guy was a handful. With a sigh, i walked up to him, leaned down, and hugged him, whispering in his ear, I muttered " why...?" why did ichigo do this? I didn't want ichigo to look like he is now. I wanted my king happy and alive, walking around as if he's king shit. The ichigo that I know can whip anyone's ass, and feel no mercy about it. If they deserve it, though. That's just who my ichigo is. Why can't my ichi just have stood there, and let me run away? running. It seems ive done a lot of that lately. sometimes I hate thinking about it, but it is what ive been doing all this time – just to get away from thoughts that haunted me. thoughts that were true when you think about it, where I have anger to those very same thoughts.
ichigo stiffened, then relaxed. hugging me back, he whispered " i couldn't very well, let you drown, could i?" pain shot through my eyes. i will not cry… I will not cry... I CANT cry. Never, ever. Not in front of ichigo, not in front of MYSELF. I will not.
" you could've, and you should've." I muttered out. I was surprised when my voice didn't crack at all as I talked to ichigo. Blinking a few thoughts that rummaged in my head away, I pulled back to look at my king. Ichigos eyes were shimmering a bit, brimmed with light tears. After a few seconds of staring at eachother, ichigo spoke with a cracked voice, low and whispery.
"Lemme ask you somethin then. You know how i watched my mother die…..right?" orange orbs stared at me sadly as he spoke.
I paled slightly, if I could. Yeah, I remembered looking at that memory. I used to laugh at him with it and say how pathetic and weak he looked, calling him just about every name I could think of to tear down ichigos building confidence. But what I didn't know then, and what I do know now, is that ichigo was stronger than I will ever be. The right, solid, calming king. My king. "yes" I said, looking away so I wouldn't have to meet his tear filled, saddened eyes. The thing is, I didn't want to meet his eyes. They were just so…sad. And lonely, and….i don't even know anymore. I just knew I didn't like that look in his eyes. Never, ever will I like it.
" you know i loved her terribly, right?" ichigo said softly. I could feel him staring holes into me, as if I was burning enough with a laser pointed at me.
"yes" I muttered, still feeling ichigo bore into my body.
" do you REALLY think id let myself go through that all over again? to sit there and watch another person i love fall and die in front to me! to let YOU die? NO! ill do anything, ANYTHING, to prevent that from happening. you should know that!" ichigo bursted out, his eyes hardening as slight anger flared into his eyes. My jawline hardened at the words a bit, clenching up harshly.
i sat in silence, listing to those words over and over in my head. He loves me, eh? That's a new thought to think about. It's just so…foreign.
my eyes softened as i answered. " hai, i understand, king." leaning in, i kissed him. " now we need to get you fixed..." i walked over to the cabinet, where ichigo usually keeps all the bandages. taking them out, i walked back over, asking for his left leg. He outstretched it, flinching as joints moved in positions where they were twisted up angrily. i examined the damage, then started to wrap the bandage around. he hissed at the pain. I continued, and by the time i was done, ichigo was sweating and grinding his teeth harshly to contain some pain.
"ichigo, you ok?" I asked him, concern clear evidence in my voice. My aibou's face was twisted up in different directions everywhere, making his features hardly recognizable. At some point I wanted to laugh, but I held it back as I watched him closely.
he nodded tightly. "yeah, i think so." I think so, my ass. Ah well. He didn't want the help right now, anyway. Well, more of the pity than anything….but I didn't pity him, I just wanted him to be healthy and fine. That's all I could ever ask for, anyway. nothing more.
"ok, good" i stood up, and walked back to the cabinet, putting the access bandaged away. Thank god I know how to fix wounds. Well, actually, thank ichigos memories from his dad fixing wounds like his. So, really, thank ichigos memories. If I didn't have those, well….I couldn't have gotten him far.
"i have something to say", ichigo said, grinning. His voice changed somehow, and I quirked an eyebrow. since when is his voice playful like this? I don't remember a time when it was. Well, really, I don't remember a time that we weren't fighting. Ironic, isn't it? How we've changed in the past what, month? I stopped picking fights with him so much, the clouds lifted slightly, ichigo didn't give me that deathly glare as usual…it was all so new to me now, I just don't know how to react. I mean, how would YOU react to something like this? Freak out?
"and what is that?" ok, so I had to ask. No biggie.
"if you try to die on me again, ill hunt you down, and personally, kill you myself" he said, still grinning. I almost blanched, but recovered almost as fast. The little sneak. Whatever, im up for the challenge. Not that I'll be killing myself anytime soon. Right? I have what I want to live with. Or, more exactly, I have who I want to live with. My aibou…
this time, however, i grinned also. "hai, king." Walking over to him, I laid him on the bed softly. Then I stuffed a pillow under his leg, to keep the blood flowing in his feet up his legs. Can't be too careful, you know. So, I lay down with my newly lover and hugged around his waist, humming a soothing song until I heard ichigos breathing even out. He was sleeping and for a while, I just sat there and smiled like an idiot. Soon after, however, I followed him, snuggling into his side. Then I drifted into the world of dreams…
(NORMAL POV)
Ichigo watched his other half snuggle beneath him. He was so cute, unlike the blood crazed albino he once knew. Sure, he loved that part of him to (like he knew why), but it was nice to see him all helpless once and a while. You know? It's like a breath of fresh air for ichigo, and probably as well as for hichigo. When he got up a bit earlier, it was still dark out. Ichigo had a thing for doing that, getting up at around three and end up staring at the ceiling for about an hour, before finally drifting back to sleep. This gave him time to think.
That brought up another subject as I thought. If he loved ichigo, why did he jump? Was he ashamed? Was he scared of what he would say? And why was he crying? It's not like the teen was going to discard him. Even though in the past, ichigo was pretty cruel to him…
FLASHBACK
"yo, king!" the albino shouted out, his voice echoing against the inner worlds walls. Hichigo had been thinking for a while before the orangette came to this place, which probably meant he wanted to fight. Since, well he took over ichigo's body in a fight for the means of protecting him. not like he told ichigo this. Though, the albino didn't really want to fight ichigo at the time, but there's no disappointing the king. Right? As it seems, the king owns the horse, and rules it to the point to their knees. And hichigo was ok with this.
Ichigo was currently lying on the cool glass of one of the buildings, blinking up at the sky. Shit! His hollow took control again, and now….dammit, why can't he be stronger to prevent this kind of shit happening? Damn, ichigo, you dug yourself into some shit this time…
The orangette scowled as he got up, glaring harshly at the smirking albino. How he hated shirosaki, so damn fucking much. Why can't that damn albino stay away from him?
Shirosaki was standing bluntly in front of the orange haired teen, smirking. Though, on the inside, he was slowly melting away. The death glare that the orangette gave him was frightening - even though he wasn't a wuss. He wasn't scared of the glare really, he was scared how it was directed to him. And he didn't like that ichigo would soon charge him, not even caring if he crushed every bone in shirosaki's body. Hell, he'd probably be happy. Happy as fuck if he died. What would it be like if it really happened…? Ichigo would be happy…
As if on queue, ichigo flung himself at shirosaki, causing the albino to go in a defensive position. Their swords clanged painfully, the sound echoing off the inner world's walls. Ichigo pushed on, the albino struggling to keep par with the orangette. Well, keep himself from really, really, reallllly hurting ichigo. As much as hichigo likes blood, he didn't want his sword to be tainted with ichigos.
When ichigo flung back, he lifted up his sword. "GETSUGA TENSHOU!" he shouted out, swinging his sword at the likes of the hollow. He wanted to kill shirosaki, shave him from his body. The stupid hollow, always getting in his fucking way during a fight. Whats up with that? it's so DAMN annoying. It's not like life or death situations, either. Well…it is life or death, but shirosaki has NO right to get into his fights, no matter what. What ichigo did on his own time was ONLY his business.
A massive black and red slash came through the air, directly at shiro. He was ready, and blocked the attack, only signaling one with his own. He saw ichigo shunpo out of the way, to his release. He didn't want to hurt ichigo, even though he was sure ichigo wanted to. But he couldn't stop ichigo without putting wounds in his body. Hichigo didn't like this one bit. He didn't want to hurt his ichigo! But it would happen anyway, right? Because ichigo would kill him if not. he couldn't stop ichigo until wounds encase his body, making ichigo drag himself into sanctuary. When that always happens, hichigo turns his head and scoffs all the time while saying "come back when your stronger. I dun' wanna kill ya yet." Then hichigo left it at that.
Their swords clanged over and over again. Blood splattered everywhere. On the glass, on the walls, on the inner worlds buildings. Everything was shaded or glowing in red. The sound was echoed off, hurting both men's ears. But hell, they didn't care. Well, at least ichigo didn't. Shiro didn't want to fight in the first place, but hey, he has to keep up his 'picture' or 'profile' as some would put it. If his king ever found out he…loved him, the albino would be dead without another thought. He'd rather keep it like this, solitude, and both never killing eachother. It gives them more time together…right? It was just fine. Hichigo was fine. He could live with this. The albino just didn't know how long…
Ichigo felt his own spiritual pressure rise, right before he felt someone faintly calling his name from the outside. Both froze, halting in the spot they were in. ichigo grunted loudly, and matrolized back into the world of the living without a backwards glance at the albino. Finally.
He didn't see when Shiro's eyes flashed painfully.
END FLASHBACK
To mention it, ichigo was very cruel to him. Even when he saw the albino's eyes flash painfully, he thought it was because of the loss of blood. Now that he knows….he felt like a total… bastard. It wasn't right to do what he did anyway, but at the time, it seemed right. But as he looked back on it, ichigo was ashamed, and terrified. It just made his head hurt thinking about it – thinking about hichigo like that. the orangette didn't know how long the albino had been suffering, but he thought it had been a while. That made ichigo hurt more than anything.
Still petting hichigo's hair, ichigo fell into a deep plunder with him, welcoming the granted darkness of sleep.
The next morning, ichigo kurosaki rolled over on the bed, while moaning, but stopped when he felt something white tickle his nose. His nose scrunched up from the tickle, and the orangette blinked and opened his eyes to see the granting face of his hollow.
Ichigo found that his other was still asleep, so he took the time to look up at the ceiling and think. Again.
He was always cold to hichigo, so since when has that stopped? When the albino grew actual feelings? Or when he noticed them? Because he knew for sure that the albino had feelings for him a long time before he even knew. Which made him feel much worse then before. He got it now, it wasn't the orangette that was causing the inner world to rain, but hichigo was. And he used the excuse that ichigo himself was, instead of showing his own feelings. Very crafty, for a hollow. But it was still…it still made ichigo want to cuss himself out, pissed that he could make hichigo feel that way. Ichigo didn't want to make the albino hurt, but it came natural at the time. And at that time, ichigo wanted to murder hichigo to get him out of his head. And now, now….ichigo doesn't like that thought. he didn't like the fact that a hollow was in his mind. But now he does. Ironic, isn't it?
But he wasn't just a hollow; the albino was HIS hollow now. Only his.
He felt hichigo stir under him suddenly, so he slowly looked down to see hichigo slowly opening his eyes. Ichigo watched at hichigo got more awake, registering the things around him.
"hm….ichi?" hichigo muttered, looking up at the orangette. Ichigo looked as if he'd been awake for a while, which disappointed the albino. He wanted to see ichigo just get up, with a really cute 'i-just-got-out-of-bed' look. Too bad…
"im sorry.." ichigo muttered lowly, looking away from his hollow. The orangette tried to find something other than hichigo as the hollow made the words register in his mind.
"huh? For what?" as hichigo got more awake, he got more alert. He could see ichigo's stained hurt eyes, the way his eyebrows pulled together angrily. And that scowl. How he hated when ichigo wore that scowl. What was wrong with ichigo? Did the albino do something to hurt him again….?
"for…." Ichigo trailed off, looking down at the floor. "for being who I was for this long…I-I didn't…know…." And that was true, ichigo didn't know. And now it felt more horrible than anything that he knew what he had done to the albino. Ichigo didn't like it, not one bit.
Hichigo's eyes visibly softened, while he snuggled into ichigo's neckline. He tossed his leg between ichigo's, holding him close. "it's fine…. I didn't care too much." Truthfully, hichigo didn't care. He was happy with ichigo now, and that's all that mattered. Right? Ichigo was with him now, so it didn't matter how the orangette treated him a while back. Hichigo could handle the past…
Hichigo felt the orangette shift underneath him, his face still cautious. Slowly ichigo wrapped his arms around the albino, keeping him as close as he possible could. He never wanted to let go of hichigo, ever. His hollow was his personal sanctuary, and his only lover. But it's just… ichigo couldn't help but feel guilty that he caused hichigo to almost kill himself. And to have not realized for so long…it was just…ichigo didn't like it. Plain and simple.
There was a few moments of uncomfortable silence, both shifting uncomfortably.
"you shouldn' worry, ichi. Its not yer fault." Hichigo said sternly as he shifted so he could look ichigo in the eye. Ichigos eyes were in mild pain, which hichigo could see clearly as he stared. And he hated it. He hated ichigo to be in pain because of him! it wasn't natural...ichigo should be happy and alive as always!
"it is though! I never realized it! I never….." ichigo trailed off, looking down at the covered floor. It was one he was fond of, and one that had past stains of blood from fights. Hichigos blood, his blood, and numerous others. The guilt washed in more now than ever, making ichigos body weigh itself down in thought.
"ichi, its ok. I meant for you not to know." Hichigo lifted his head up to look at ichigo, who was staring at the ceiling unconsciously. The albino hated when ichigo stared off in space, and this time was like any other.
Ichigo looked back down at hichigos warm eyes, melting almost instantly. They were so warm, so happy. And ichigo loved seeing his hollow like that. He loved seeing the albino happy, which was very uncommon. Now he really had something to cling onto, a form of relief that made ichigo happy. But the relief and pain together mixed in, forcing the two sides to battle out themselves.
Ichigo sighed, closing his eyes as he tightened his grip around hichigo. The albino let out a grunt, but relaxed slightly when the tight grip subsided.
"…why? Why didn't you want me to know?" ichigo asked. He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from his hollow anyway. it was just a form of clarification for ichigo, where he could really let his guilt to.
Hichigo stiffened, looking up at ichigo momentarily. He paused. Why did ichigo care now? It was over and done with, why couldn't ichigo let it go! Hichigo didn't really want for ichigo to know….but it seemed as if he already did, in a way.
"hey…" ichigo moved his hand to caress hichigos cheek, trying to comfort the albino. "its ok. Tell me" he whispered, moving his hands up to the soft locks of the albinos hair. He tried to get hichigo to look at him, but no avail as that albino wouldn't meet his eyes. Ichigo growled then, but hichigo still wouldn't look at him. why can't hichigo just say it? It wasn't so bad!
"mmmm…" hichigo said for an answer, still looking away. he was scared to admit it – and scared that ichigo would know all of his weaknesses. Not that he really minded about the weaknesses, but hichigo didn't want ichigo to pity him into something that was long gone. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Hichigo didn't want to talk anymore! He wanted to hug ichigo and make it all go away. he wanted to make the pain go away, the pain that was coming up from his chest, making their way to sting his eyes. The albino didn't know what was happening as wet drops fell from out of his eye sockets, trailing down to his strong, set jawline.
"h-hichigo….no, please don't cry…" ichigo whispered out, feeling a little helpless. The first time he just saw those tears making their way to hichigos eyes, ichigo felt his heart clench. He didn't want to make hichigo cry like that…the orangette wrapped his arms around hichigos waist, pulling the albino into him forcefully. Hichigo immediately clung to him, the albinos head sticking fast to ichigos tanned neck.
"n-no…hichigo…please, stop…" ichigo whispered. The orangette felt pain want to eat him alive inside of his body as he heard hichigo choke out a sob…then another, and another. Ichigo wanted to make the pain go away from both him and hichigo, but he didn't know what to do! He didn't know….
"it h-hurts…it hurts, ichigo…make it go a-away.." hichigo whimpered out, his vision blurring every time tears streamed out from his eyes. Hichigo didn't like this feeling, he wanted it to go away! he didn't like to…cry, as ichigo put it… it hurt…really bad. Please, please make it go away….
Make it go away, ichigo!