A/N: This work is clearly AU, though only from the end of "Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ringing Out" forward. Whether or not it's OOC is highly debatable. We realize it may be a bit of a stretch. Then again, when you throw The Life and Death Brigade members into the mix... it's a bit of a head scratcher whether anything is off limits. Have fun.
"Hey Mariano," Logan yelled as he walked in through the doors of Truncheon Books.
It was a week after the open house when Rory had torn Jess' heart out and stomped on it. Over most of the course of subsequent seven days, he'd either been hungover or drunk, trying to forget the events of that night. However, at this moment, he was neither. He had the misfortune of being stone cold sober, having taken the night off from the self-destruction to prepare for an early morning client meeting.
In retrospect, in addition to said sobriety, it didn't help the situation that the blonde jackass walked into his place of business with two idiot sidekicks; and it really didn't help that Matt, Jess' business partner, hated, loathed, and despised all that was Logan Huntzberger with the burning passion of a thousand suns—and that was putting it mildly.
"What the hell do you want?" Jess replied, his tongue acrid with a bitterness worse than any hangover.
"Montgomery," Colin said, drily acknowledging Matt, who stood there glaring, "fix any football matches recently? And I want my $400.00."
Chris, the third in their trio, and a natural wingman—having written the book on the subject—was usually prepared for moments such as these. Having grown up with Matt had given him a sixth-sense to know when trouble was approaching—since, when it came to Matt, it generally was. This was clearly one of those times, but unlike past incidents, the angry boyfriend wasn't coming for his childhood best friend.
"You need to keep away from my girlfriend!" Logan boomed.
Jess rolled his eyes. "Pleease," he extended the word in dry aggravation, "she came to me," he said, barely looking up from his desk.
"That doesn't give you the right to lay hands on her."
Jess cocked his head to one side, finally looking up.
"You're trespassing. This is a place of business," Chris jumped in quickly, hoping to defuse the situation before it got out of hand.
"Great, we'll take it outside — you two stay here and look picturesque while we take the scribbler out back and teach him some manners," the second sidekick, who looked to be a complete fop, added in a heavy Australian accent.
"You're neither the mafia nor Peter Ustinov," Jess said, having put his pencil down and raising his head to look at them straight on. "You should, however, ask yourself one question," he pointedly addressed only Logan, standing up slowly. "What did you do to piss Rory off so much that she came looking for me?"
At that, Logan pushed past Matt and landed a single punch to Jess' right eye, which in turn gave permission for Jess to swing, hitting him in the nose. They lunged at one another other, trading several blows to the face, square on the jaw, and for good measure, Jess drove his fist into Logan's gut.
It was only a moment before Chris and Matt were able to get ahold of Jess. However, that didn't end the fight—it just tagged Matt in, who was all too happy to get his chance at retribution toward the Huntzberger heir.
"Bloody hypocrite!" he snarled, coming at Logan with an uppercut.
Chris, coming to his senses and realizing that things had quickly taken a turn for the worse, pushed Matt out of the way, only to be on the receiving end of a blow from Colin. Chris being a lover and not a fighter, was taken aback, and for the first time in his life, he formed a fist and clocked a man in the mouth.
Finn stepped forward, pulling a single, white glove—who knows why he had one in there—from his pocket and sharply smacked a confused Jess Mariano across the face. "I challenge you to a duel for the honor of the fair and lovely maiden, Rory Gilmore!"
The side of his face tingling from the strange blow, Jess' eyes bugged out as he regarded the individual who had just slapped him with a fashion accessory. "This person is insane," he uttered blankly.
"Choose your weapon!" the young man challenged with flashing eyes.
"Easy choice," Jess returned, still staring incredulously. "Wits, as you are clearly unarmed…"
"That's what you think!" came the reply, exaggerated for comedic effect.
Meanwhile, Colin had taken to chasing Matt up the stairs, weilding a footstool, shouting about some long lost bet that Matt had either not paid up or had cheated on in the first place.
Finn, who was easily distracted, started after them, joining in the debate, whether he'd been present for the original events or not, and muddled the argument still further.
Logan, rising from the floor with some difficulty after Matt's wicked punch, glared at Jess. "You took advantage of her when she was in a vulnerable state."
"Did I?" Jess regarded him with a rueful expression and a wry tone. "Exactly how much did Rory tell you?"
"Enough to know the kind of scum you really are. I know that she came here at your invitation. I know you have a thing for her. I can put two and two together…"
"And get five?" Jess supplied. "You have her, don't be an idiot and lose her. Doesn't matter how I feel about her because she loves you, for whatever reason, she loves you."
The shenanigans at the top of the stairs came to a screeching halt, Matt, Colin, Chris, and Finn stopped, looking at the scene below.
"Go and get back in your fancy car, go to her, get on bended knee and hope she forgives you because that might be the only chance you have."
Colin, and Finn descended the stairs quietly and awkwardly; then stood by the door, ready to leave. "And Logan," Jess stopped, "You have a mean right hook; but if you ever hurt Rory again… I won't hold back."
A/N: We are two fanfic authors who love a good long slow fanfic. You may very well have read the works of Iscah McKrae and/or Siss007. Well, we joined forces; and this is our first collaborative offering to the fanfic community. Our apologies to Amy… we got to musing on a particular plot bunny that hopped by one day; "and [our] thinking is sometimes very, very wrong if you aren't [us]….and occasionally if you are [us]."
Nevertheless, we hope you enjoyed this little ficlet we wrote. Reviews are books and coffee for the soul.