Victory, success, glory; all those words have been used by the average citizen to describe the battle of Geonosis. But I'm not an average citizen, I don't exist. Here's how it really was; chaotic, sandy, nightmarish.
I am a clone, loyal soldier, defender of the Republic, friend to the Jedi, protector of the innocents. I am CS-5365, and I've survived the worst this war can throw at me.
I'll remember that day until my death….
I leaped out of the gunship with my brothers as soon as it landed, stirring up huge clouds of dust. Hundreds of thousands of white boots met the red sand of Geonosis that day. Many, did not return, the ones that did, see that dust on their armor forever, even thought it's not there.
We were shooting the second our boots hit the ground; training took over our minds and we moved as one. Brothers, teammates, we each knew how the other would respond to any given situation.
My job as sergeant and team medic is to get as many brothers home in one piece as I can. And I'm completely determined not to fail them. I've trained my whole life for this, every scenario, every medical situation, I'm more than prepared. Or so I thought. I'd soon learn that nothing can prepare you for what I was about to go through.
"Watch your left!" A brother called out. I can hardly see who it is with all the dust and blaster fire about us. I ducked immediately as a blaster bolt skimmed over my helmet. That had been close, way too close for comfort. I knew I'd better keep my senses about me, or I'd be dead before I knew what hit me.
I finally saw who'd called the shot in time to warn me. He was one of my closest brothers on the training field; my hatchmate, twin. An ultra rare anomaly. We both came from the same decanting tube. It's nice to know he's watching my back out here. I'd better watch his back too and keep up with the others. A few are down already, but they show up in my modified HUD as KIA. My heart sinks a little, but I know I can't let that distract me from the living right now. There will always be casualties, troopers I won't be able to help even if I wanted to.
Our Jedi General seemed to see it fitting to deploy us into the roughest, hardest part of the battle. With no backup. No problem, my company graduated as one of the best, we were up to the challenge. Several more brothers have been shot down already. Two are gone before they even hit the ground, the shots going right through their visors. The other is lying wounded. I called for someone to cover me before going to help the wounded trooper.
"S-sarge…." He moaned in pain as I knelt down at his side. The shot had gone into the side of his chest, but below the heart. It's painful, but I don't think it's fatal, not as long as I give him some help. I knew I could save him, but first I had to find better cover.
I spot the wreckage of a gunship and decided to use that for a medical shelter. I tried to help my comrade up but he cried out once before going stubbornly silent. I laid him back down carefully and got him injected with a painkiller, just a quick jab of the small, already prepared sharp into his neck and the strong drug should be working in moment.
"Sarge, hurry!" One of the others covering my back shouted.
The battle was really getting intense by now; dust was everywhere, kicked up by the battle and heavy winds. Blazing red blaster bolts seemed to fly from the dust like deadly lightning bolts, striking down trooper after trooper. Cries echoed all around me, tormenting me. Why wasn't I working faster?
I swiftly got the wounded trooper dragged behind some cover. My limbs were starting to feel like I was struggling through a thick swamp and getting nowhere. I pulled the injured man's helmet off. His face was pale, a sharp contrast to his dark hair. His eyes were wide from shock, but they were starting to glaze over. He cried out again as I began to remove his chest plate. The heat of the blaster strike had partially melted the armor and body suit. The armor had done its job though, the wound wasn't deep, it just needed to be cleaned and patched up. "Easy Sniper." I assured him, calling him by the nickname he'd chosen. "I'm going to fix you up. You'll be resting in the barracks before you know it."
Sniper nodded, but kept his mouth clamped shut. I got out the antiseptic spray and a bacta patch and quickly got his wound covered. I'd have to get the melted bits of bodysuit out later. He kept his eyes shut the whole time. Probably doing his best to cope with the pain.
"I have to go help the others now." I told him. "Stay here until I come back to get you." I packed my medkit back up and stood. Before I left, I set a blaster within his reach, just in case.

Sniper clasped my arm as I got up. "You will come back right?" he asked, opening his eyes, now wide with fear.
"I promise brother." I clasped his arm in return then released him. Sniper didn't seem too inclined to let go. He was afraid of dying alone on the battlefield; understandably. A clone saw himself dying was with a brother by his side, not in a wreck of a ship all alone. "I will come back. You won't be alone for long." he finally released my arm and I charged off to help others.

"Come on Sarge!" someone called as I rejoined the fighting. "We need to get the commander under cover now, he took a spray of shrapnel to the upper chest."
"He needs to be helped before I can move him." I protested.
My brother who'd saved me before looked over his shoulder at me briefly. "Sarge! We can't-" he was cut off by a gurgled cry as a shot smashed through his visor.
"Jay!" I screamed his name. "No!" I left the commander and caught Jay as he fell, his body limply collapsing into mine. I gently lowered him to the ground and held his head on my lap. Around me, the battle seemed to go into slow motion, all I could see was my best friend lying dead, and it was my fault for distracting him. Another KIA registered on my HUD, yet another brother I'd failed to save. I slid Jay reverently onto the hard, bloody ground, knowing I'd never see him again.
I lunged up and smashed into a droid that had suddenly towered over me. I bashed it over and smashed its head in with my Decee. Another KIA went up on my HUD. I turned and saw a brother move away from the commander's body. I knew it had to be Niner. He and the commander were as close as brothers could be. I heard a heartbreaking wail shudder through the comlink. Then silence, I knew I wouldn't hear from Niner during the rest of the battle.
Not long after that, Niner was shot down. I bolted to his side to help him. I couldn't bear to have any more dead brothers on my conscience.
"No!" he snarled the moment I touched him. "L-leave me! He's dead. They shot him."
"Steady there Niner." I said sternly. "You're going to be okay." I got a painkiller ready for him, hopefully it would just knock him out and I could talk sense into him if or when we survived this mess.
"They killed him….." his voice faded. Another KIA went up. I smashed a fist into the ground next to Niner's now still body -hard enough to make me bite my lip against the pain- and let out a cry of rage and grief.
I was failing my brothers. Everyone that had died was my failing. I looked up from my fit of anger and saw that very few of my company were left standing. I looked around in a haze, struggling to snap out of the drowning sensation that threatened to take over my very soul. I shook myself; coming back down from the rush of anguish, and charged back into the fight, screaming in fury.
Rage fueled my attacks, and didn't last long; an explosion rattled the ground under my boots and I abruptly felt a searing, agonizing pain in my leg. I lost my balance and crashed to the unforgiving ground with a cry of frustration and grief. I hit the dusty and now quite bloody ground with a dull thud, my armor plates clacking against one another and the hard ground, sending a small cloud of reddish orange sand into the air around me.
I closed my eyes, wishing to die, to be put out of my misery and guilt for my failure. Everyone was dead or dying. And it was my fault.
After what felt like hours, I composed myself enough andI twisted to look at my own wound. There was shrapnel speared into my body from the hip up to my back. Even if I did make it, would I ever be able to walk properly again? Possibly not. I didn't think the wounds were fatal, but I could bleed out. Shrapnel was tricky stuff. I eyed the cruel looking spear jutting out jaggedly from my hip. It was the only one I could really feel. Adrenaline and shock had numbed me to the rest of the pain. And that was probably for my own good.
I focused back in on the battlefield after a long moment of just feeling stunned. My team was getting massacred. I could hear, but not see it very well from my position. I could hear the screams, the tortured moans and wails of agony. Some of them called for brothers. They were calling for a medic. For me. They cried. And I couldn't do a thing to help them. Eventually, even my own voice joined in the mournful cries that echoed through the battlefield. Then, almost suddenly, everything was silent. It seemed as if the entire world around me had stopped breathing.
I lay there, wind blowing the dust over and around my still body. It swirled about lazily, almost casually, unlike when the battle had been going on. I was surrounded by dozens and dozens of brothers' broken bodies, all lying lifeless. I thought back to Sniper. Poor Sniper. I'd promised him that I'd be back for him. Does it matter anymore? We're all dead now anyways. He's probably gone now too, just another failure to add to my list. Kriff' why won't I just die yet?
Another hour passed by and I still lay there, my thoughts swirling like the sand around me. I swear, if just one brother has survived this, I will never break my vow to keep him safe, ever, no matter what the cost, even if I die in the process. I will not fail another brother as long as I'm still breathing.
I was jerked out of my thoughts by the lovely sound of a gunship passing over. The comlink in my helmet clicked and a brother's voice came through.
"Is anybody still alive out there? Respond... Respond."
" CS-5365." my voice was a hoarse gasp of pain as I answered the call that was sent out.
"Can you move sergeant?" the same voice answered.
I made a feeble attempt to get to my feet, so I could at least be spotted, it only resulted in making my whole body hurt a lot more than I'd been expecting. I jerked sharply at the sudden burst of pain before lying still again.
"I-"
"We have a visual on you trooper." another voice said. This one was female, so she had to be a Jedi. "Stay calm we're coming down to get you now."
I felt the welcome downdraft of the gunship as it made its landing. More clones now stood above me and one was marked as a medic. I felt an icy shame settle in the pit of my stomach. He knelt down next to me and began checking my vitals. He made note of my potentially crippling injury and murmured something to another medic. They gave me a strong painkiller to ease the pain so hopefully I won't be too uncomfortable in transit.
Two more figures came into view. A female Jedi, probably the one I had heard before, and a clone officer. The Jedi looked me over. Her large green eyes filled with sympathy and compassion.
"M-my b-brothers…" I choked out.
She turned to the officer, who I couldn't identify as anyone I might know. But he looked like he was in need of medical attention himself. "Captain Kralj, have your men found any survivors?"
"Two so far Sir." the captain answered. "Both are alive; one is in extremely critical condition."
I wanted to cry for joy that at least two of my brothers still lived. That meant two lives that I was now bound by my own word to be responsible for.
"Very good Captain. Get them on the ship and tell the pilots to be ready." the female Jedi said.
"Yes Sir!" Kralj barked and went to complete his orders.
The Jedi helped the medic get me on to the gunship. It took some uncomfortable jostling, but by now, the painkillers were setting in, my gaze was starting to become unfocused. "Wait…" I groaned, jerking back alert suddenly.
"Yes trooper?" The Jedi turned to look at me with concern. "What's wrong?"
"S-sniper… crashed ship… alive…. Promised…." I mumbled, in a half daze.
The last thing I remember was seeing two other battered, white armored figures being loaded into the gunship with me before I lost consciousness. I tried to remain conscious, for the sake of wanting to at least see these surviving brothers; but like my first time out on duty, I failed. Blackness dragged me down.

I woke up sometime later, to the sound of a slight fuss on one side of the medbay. It sounded like another clone having an argument with the medics.
"Well do something you worthless piece of scrap metal!" an angry brother's voice echoed through the large open 'bay.
The medical droid's response was too quiet for me to hear, but clearly the clone didn't like the answer, because there was suddenly a metallic screeching and a heavy thump. The medical bay was suddenly silent. And the silence was soon broken by a quiet alarm going off and the clatter of boots.
There were raised voices, one I could identify as female, possibly belonging to the Jedi who'd pulled me off the battlefield, then calm silence again. A little while later, a soft shadow fell over me. I looked up and saw the Jedi and the captain who had rescued me. The captain had bandages over the right side of his face now, covering his wounds.
"General, Captain." I greeted them respectfully, as training dictated. But I had a question I'd been dying to ask since I'd woken up. "H-how many did you find?" I whispered the question that had been gnawing at me, almost afraid of what the answer would be.
"Five. Not including you." the Jedi answered, now bending down closer to me. "However, we just lost one and another is about to follow. I'm so sorry."
I kept my face blank, trying not to let my emotion through. "And the other three?"
This time the captain answered. "One had the whole left side of his face damaged, probably from an explosion. One has a bad chest wound but will recover. The other is alive and okay for now, he simply suffered a concussion."
"Your friend, Sniper is going to be okay." The Jedi said. "Now I'm going to do what I can to help you so you will still be able to walk."
I then noticed that all the shrapnel had been removed. I must have been out for a while for that to be the case. The Jedi gently laid her hands over the wound to my leg. I could feel an odd, tingling sensation starting there and slowly making its way through my body. I'd always wondered about Jedi healers, having read about them briefly during my studies. How did they work, and just how could something invisible heal a body?
"Do you have a name soldier?" the Jedi asked quietly. Her eyes were closed in concentration.
I stayed awkwardly silent for a long time. Clones weren't supposed to have names. If you did, you kept it to yourself, and your brothers.
"Come on, you have to have a name. I'm not going to be able to remember all the ridiculous numbers."
"Sh-shadow. It's Shadow."