This is an idea I've had for awhile. I wanted to share the first chapter with everyone and find out how you all felt about a story like this. It's different, and trust me when I say it's NOT going to be a typical love story. It might not even be a love story at all! If I get enough interest, then I'll post another chapter (which I already have written) so please review and let me know your feelings about the story! Thank you guys.

*I'm still very much continuing my other story, Take A Walk In My Stilettos, but really wanted to get this story out there to generate interest.

**This story will be rated M for future chapters. I'll change the rating settings if needed, but be warned for now.

Chapter one-

Lana stared at the tiny pink plus sign as her stomach opened into a massive pit, and her head began to swirl. That little symbol controlled her life now. Everything from now until etrnity was dictated by it, and there were no "take backs" as far as it was concerned.

She stifled a cry that was threatening to tear from her throat, and tears began to slide down her face as her shoulders shook in silent sobs. The last thing she wanted was for her co-workers at the salon to stick their nosy heads in her business. She didn't need them spreading her new found, unplanned pregnancy around town like it was wildfire.

"Shit," Lana whispered, another howl building up in the back of her throat. What would her brothers say? Would they be happy for her? Probably not, not under these circumstances.

It wasn't that she wasn't old enough, she was 28 and had helped in raising her 2 younger siblings. When her Mom was still alive, she had always told Lana that she had a natural motherly instinct. She loved kids, and always planned on settling down and having babies someday. She had a stable career in cosmetology and made plenty enough money to support a baby. She was a natural with kids, and spent a lot of time with her best friend and her two boys playing and laughing...at the thought of Tara Knowles, Lana got the sudden urge to vomit, and she shifted onto her knees in front of the toilet.

The stomach bile heaved itself out in a hard, burning way as Lana retched forward. Tara had been her best friend since she had moved home 5 years ago from Chicago. Being about 4 years younger than Tara, Lana had only heard of her in High school. She had never thought that one day her and the friendly doctor would bond over their mutual love for mocha cappuccino in Charming's local coffee house and wind up as close as sisters.

Lana retched forward again as more bile tore from her stomach.

A light knock on the door interrupted her dry heaving. "Lana!?" Tiffany's voice chirped through the door, "honey are you alright? It sounds like your getting sick in there." Lana placed her forehead against the cool porcelain of the toilet, taking a moment to catch her breath.

"Lana!?" Tiffany knocked again, "you better answer me before I grab the master key and come in there after you!" "No" Lana said too softly, her stomach threatening to turn again. "No!" she spoke with a little more confidence, stuffing the positive test in her pocket and discarding the wrappings in the toilet before flushing it all down. "I'm fine, I'm...I'm sorry, it must have been something I ate."

Lana wiped her mouth on a paper towel before opening the door. The look on Tiffany's face said it all as her eyes widened into saucers, "you look awful!" "Thanks, Tiff..." "No, I'm sorry. I just mean, wow...I think you should take the rest of the day off honey. I'll reschedule your appointments for you."

Lana nodded her head. On most days she would argue with Tiff, the acting salon manager, on taking any kind of day or time off. Today, however, she needed the time off to think. "I'm sorry Tiff, I just...I'll be ok to work tomorrow." she spoke as she packed up her station. Tiffany smiled, "just call in the morning if you're still not feeling good. I know you think you'll be fine, but you look awfully pale." Lana smiled weakly, "I'm always pale."

Tiffany wiped that statement away with a flick of her wrist," no, honey, you're porcelain. Like a little China doll! Or, I guess that's not right...like a Russian doll?" Lana shook her head, trying to keep the dizziness under control. Tiffany wasn't the first person to tell her that she was "doll like" with her smooth, creamy skin and wide blue eyes. Her strawberry blonde hair fell in loose waves past her shoulder blades, and her mouth was full and pouty. The combination of her features, and her small but curvy frame had earned her the nickname "Kukla" (Russian for baby-doll) almost her entire life. Both of her brothers still called her that even though their parents had long been gone.

After her things were all gathered up, Lana pushed her way out into the cool October air. She took a deep breath, swallowing as much fresh air as she could. It made her head feel better as she walked to the park nearby and rested on a bench near the gazebo.

"What am I gonna do?" Lana said to herself as she slipped the test back out of her pocket. The pink plus was still there, and her heart threatened to beat out of her chest. Her mind started racing, and she wished with every fiber of her being that she could warp time and go back one and a half months prior...to the first time she had made one of the biggest mistakes of her life. She had fucked up again almost two weeks later when she had repeated the same mistake. By her calculations Lana figured she was either four or six weeks pregnant.

She leaned forward and covered her face with her hands, folding into herself and allowing her tears to fall again. She felt awful. She felt like one of the worst people in existence and she had no idea where to start sorting out this mess that she had created.

The worst part about it all was that Lana couldn't talk to Tara about it. Normally, at the sound of trouble, Tara's number was speed dialed into Lana's phone instantly. Not this time though. She couldn't face Tara. Not now, and she wasn't sure how she would ever face her again. Not while she was pregnant by Tara's husband.

Her and Jax had slept together exactly twice. The first time had been after they, Jax and Tara, had a huge falling out. Tara had been trying to find her "out" from the Sons of Anarchy for awhile. She had put an elaborate plan together and Jax had found out about it. Lana remembered a terrified Tara showing up on her doorstep toting both Abel and baby Thomas in the dead of night. She had been convinced that Jax was going to kill her if he found her, and so Lana had let them stay with her.

After a few days, her and Tara had been discussing her options, and Lana had been convinced to go pay Jax a visit to try and decipher where his mind was at. Well, it had taken all of 45 minutes for him to saunter, smirk, and wink his way into fucking her mercilessly in the bed he had been sharing with Tara for half a decade.

Lana had felt a sexy pain between her legs for 3 days after their romp, and she had mind fucked herself into believing that what she had done was justified and didn't make her a bad friend. Sure, she felt guilty, but Tara and Jax were technically separated at the time. Besides, she herself hadn't had sex in almost 3 months and it was a welcome release.

The second time it happened, she had consciously decided she was going to sleep with him. After their initial rendezvous, they had exchanged a few text messages and had arranged a time for Lana to slip unnoticed into the club house. There, he had once again tore into her viciously and fucked some of his rage out...first in the shower, then on his dorm desk, and finally on his bed where her nails had sunk so deep into his back that blood was drawn.

Lana snorted in disgust at herself. She felt like a dirty whore, and the moisture forming in between her legs made her feel even worse. She shouldn't be getting hot thinking about having sex with her friends husband, no matter how great it was. She snorted again as her mind drifted back to her and Jax's second and last intimate affair.

After all was done and said, Lana could remember laying in bed with him. Both of them were completely spent, and her entire body felt bruised and sore, but incredibly satisfied. Jax had easily manipulated and contorted her 5'4, 115 pound body into positions that Lana had only ever dreamed about, and it had been the best sex she had ever had.

She rolled her eyes at the sarcasm of it all...the sex had been done so right that it had left her with child. The sex wasn't the only thing she felt guilty about, though. The baby was bad, but there was more to it.

Lana had felt a tiny pull on her heart string laying in bed next to the President of the Sons. At one point their eyes locked, and she could see all of the pain, all of the anger that pooled in his blue eyes turning them steel grey. There was something else their too. A little flame flickered in his eyes, and Lana recognized it instantly as desire.

She had wondered if it was for her, and before she could ask he had leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her lips as he gently cradled her face in his hands. He hadn't kissed her like that yet. Most of the kisses they shared were hungry, and they had devoured each other in a blaze of fiery make out sessions. This kiss, though, it felt different and made something stir deep inside both of them that had been sleeping for awhile.

Lana began to sob harder on the bench, her shoulders once again shaking and her voice deceiving her and allowing whimpers to escape her throat. "I'm so fucking stupid" she cried out to no one but herself, "so, so stupid." Having a crush on your best friends husband was as bad as it got, well...aside from getting pregnant by him.

After she had left Jax's dorm that day and went home, she had found Tara crying softly at her kitchen table. She had confided in Lana that she missed her husband, and that she felt guilty for everything she had been doing in trying to take his children away from him. Tara had asked if Lana had thought she was crazy for wanting to reach out to Jax, and if she thought it would be smart to even try.

The guilt had punched her deep in the gut, and she had almost puked right there on the table as Jax's presence lingered between her thighs. 'No,' she had thought to herself, 'this is not justifiable, and this can never happen again.' She had vowed right then to stop the insanity that was her and Jax, and to help Tara rekindle her romance with him if that was what her heart desired. Tara understood the risk she was taking by staying in Charming, and what kind of man Jax could be, but if that's what she wanted then Lana would support her.

And she had done just that. She had met up with Jax once more in private to discuss her conversation with Tara, and she could tell by his face that he felt relieved in knowing that his wife was still accessible and wanted him too. Jax loved Tara, and Tara loved Jax. It was never Lana's intention to screw that up, and she was consciously a good friend even if she had made a mistake.

She loved Tara, too, and Jax had become her friend over the years. What had happened between them was a slip of judgement and neither of them were harnessing any unspoken feelings for the other, at least she didn't think so. Sure, she thought he was sexy, but what woman with right site didn't? She quipped it as nothing more than lust.

Lana was human. Having sex with Jax had been her animalistic, primal needs taking over and clouding her judgement. She had made a mistake, but again...she was human, and everyone fucked up sometimes. She had to work really hard at not letting this situation define her. She'd have to do the right thing and tell Tara, whatever the consequence.

Jax, on the other hand, had a nasty little habit of being unfaithful as far as his marriage was concerned. Tara had, in the few weeks since they had decided to try and work things out, caught him with some Diosa girl on his dick twice. That had started the old song and dance of Tara slapping Jax, Jax apologizing after sleeping at the Club House for a few days, and Tara allowing him back into their home on fragile promises of fidelity.

Tara was such a push over. Jax got away with almost everything. Lana could remember being so pissed off at Jax for hurting Tara over and over again, but now that anger had shifted onto herself. She had committed the ultimate betrayal, and now she was paying the ultimate price for it.

Lana gulped down some more fresh air and sat back against the bench. She could feel her eyes burning from the salt in her tears and she quickly wiped them away only to have more appear in their place.

She remembered when the realization of her missed period had first set in. She had been at the pharmacy and had been in the aisle purchasing feminine wipes when she spotted the tampons on the shelf, coincidentally located right next to the pregnancy tests. Her initial reaction was confusion. Had she had her period this month? She couldn't remember at first, but then it hit her like a ton of bricks that no, she definitely hadn't.

She had almost had a breakdown right their in aisle four, but she had kept her composure by assuring herself it was nothing. Unwanted pregnancies happened to other women. It didn't happen to her. Except now it WAS happening to her, and she had no idea what to do.

Lana started thinking about her options. The thought of them helped her to calm down just enough to settle her stomach, though her eyes remained filled with tears. She couldn't forget that she didn't absolutely have to have a baby, and that there were easy outs. That is if she could bring herself to do them.

The easiest choice, of course, would be for her to abort the baby. She could drive to the clinic twenty minutes South of Charming and erase the problem before it ever really began. Nobody would have to know about her poor decision making, and Tara could keep fighting for her marriage to work.

This seemed liked the best plan, but the thought of abortion made Lana's pretty little head spin. She was pro-choice, but she couldn't see herself personally aborting anything. Even under the worst circumstances she didn't think she'd be able to live with the guilt that she knew she'd feel if she went through with it. She thought for a brief moment, 'It's impossible to feel any more guilt than right now.' But she knew that was bullshit. She most certainly would feel worse after an abortion.

Ok, so that option was out. She had successfully managed to narrow down her options to adoption or keeping the baby. Lana had no clue which she would choose, and wanted desperately to talk to someone about what was going on. She could use advice, and she also really needed to talk out her feelings. They were just racing around in her mind and her thoughts were getting all jumbled.

So what about adoption? Lana could carry her baby full term, and then find a loving family who could raise the child in a normal environment. Maybe they'd take her son or daughter out sailing, and to vacations overseas. Maybe he or she would have other brothers and sisters that they were allowed to know about, and Sunday dinners around a big table with the family dog begging for scraps. Then, every night, get tucked into bed by both Mommy and Daddy, and read their favorite bedtime story. Maybe...

Or maybe she would keep the baby. Maybe she'd find a two bedroom apartment in Charming, and pick up extra hours at the salon so that she could pay for daycare and the house. She could always say that she didn't know who her child's father is, and make up some bogus story about being drunk at a party somewhere. Sure, she'd be the talk of the town for awhile but eventually someone else would make a bigger scandal all the rage.

What if the baby looked like Jax? Would it be possible for her to pass off his genetics as her own? They both had blue eyes, so that would be no issue. But what about the blonde hair? Jax's hair was dark blonde and pin straight, Lana's was more red and held a loose wave. What about his features? She was petite while Jax towered over her by 8 inches. He had wide shoulders and a strong jaw. If nobody knew he was the father, maybe she could pass it off as another blonde haired, blue eyed, buff badass biker guys kid. 'Yeah right,' Lana thought glumly, 'Jax would know...'

There is no way that he wouldn't put things together and figure out that he had fathered Lana's baby. Jax might be stubborn and a little fucked up right now, but he wasn't an idiot. Would he even care that she was pregnant? Maybe she would just pack up her car and run away. Maybe she could find a little seaside town further south where it was warmer all year, and where nobody knew her or Jax or what they had done. Maybe she'd tell people in her new home that her baby's father had died tragically and heroically, and had been a firefighter or something.

All of these things where flying through Lana's head a mile a minute, and she didn't have anyone to bounce ideas off of. Part of her wanted so badly to tell Tara about what happened. She wanted to confide in her best friend, and to come clean. She owed Tara that much at the very least. But she didn't want to lose her friend. Did she even deserve their friendship? She didn't think so, not after what she had done. What about Jax? What if this was the final straw that made Tara leave? What would Jax do? He was as evil as he was devilishly sexy, and Lana knew he had murdered before. If she was the reason that Tara finally left for good...

She shuddered at the thought. She had gotten to know Jax pretty well over the past five years, and she'd like to think that he wouldn't hurt her in any way, but lately it seemed like he was doing things that nobody expected. That was one of the biggest reasons Tara had wanted to leave a couple months ago. Gone were the days that Jax couldn't pull the trigger to save his life. Now he was trigger happy, and that terrified everyone that loved him.

He kept promising Tara that he was getting out, that THEY were getting out, but so far he had proven over and over again that it was a lost cause. Now here Lana sat, becoming part of this crazy mess as one of Jax Teller's baby Mama's. She let out a big sigh and looked up into the sky as the thunder rumbled in the distance. It was like an omen. The grey clouds rolling in did nothing to improve Lana's mood as another wave of nausea crashed down around her...