LAW & ORDER: STAR VS. THE MONSTER IN THE BASEMENT
Written by Bobby Yagake and Penny Yagake
In the year 2016, Star Butterfly,Princess of Mewni, called the Echo Creek Police Department (ECPD) to report a monster in her basement. This is her story…
(Dun) (Dun)
Dept. Alan Kleiner: ECPD. What's your emergency?
Butterfly: I'm sorry, wha-?
Dept. Kleiner: ECPD. What's your emergency?
Butterfly: Hi, um, there's someone in my house and nobody believes me but I think it's hungry and it wants to eat me!
Dept. Kleiner: Um, are you serious ma'am?
Butterfly: Serious as a heart attack!
Dept. Kleiner: Where do you live?
Butterfly: The Diaz house.
Dept. Kleiner: I need the address, ma'am.
Butterfly: No, but I can try to describe it. Um, there's a tower on the left side and um, there's cactuses. And there's windows. And um, there's a red roof and…
Dept. Kleiner: It's OK ma'am, I locate
d the house. Can you give me your name, please?
Butterfly: Star Butterfly
Dept. Kleiner: (slightly excited) Sandra Bullock?
Butterfly: Huh? No! Star Butterfly!
Dept. Kleiner: (Sigh) You serious?
Butterfly: Yes!
Dept. Kleiner: It's not Star Diaz?
Butterfly: I'm an exchange student from Mewni.
Dept. Kleiner: Wha-? (Sigh) Miss Butterfly, what exactly is your emergency?
Butterfly: There's a monster waiting to eat me in the basement of my house! It burns and when I touch it, it burns my hand! I tried telling my friend Marco it's a monster but he was like (duh voice) "Star, that's a radiator. It keeps us warm." I believed him, but then that night when I went down there to find a special glass for Marco's mom, I heard the monster make breathing noises and go "Star...Star...Star…" So I took out my wand and froze it and then Marco got mad at me and the next day, they bought another one of those things! And then that night the new (holds two fingers up) "radiator" made those freaky growling noises and said "Star...Star...Star…"
Dept. Kleiner: (lower voice) So let me get this straight, you're calling about a radiator that scares you?
Butterfly: Exactly officer! You know I'm saying! I want all you police people at my house to shoot this thing up! I think Ludo and Toffee are trying to scare me first and then at some point eat me and steal my wand!
Dept. Kleiner: (Slams table) That's it! I've had it with you kids always calling and wasting our time! I was watching The Blind Side before you called and Sandra Bullock's acting was great! Do you know how many prank callers we get a year! This is a…
Marco: Star! Who's on the phone?
Star: The police won't believe me!
(Marco grabs the phone from Star and listens)
Dept. Kleiner: Your name and address have been passed on and this is considered a prank call you little…
(Marco hangs up)
Marco: Star! Do you know what you did? What if the FBI comes after us?
Star: Who cares? We can take 'em on. I mean if we can beat Ludo, we can beat whoever this FBI is. Whassamatter Marco? Scared of this FBI? Oooohhh….