"I'm sorry I was down and let you believe it was your fault."
"You know how it all changes with these pills, yeah?!" He stands in front of me and I look around as to hold on to this moment for a few more seconds.
This is us now. In our own kitchen. His old kitchen. But it's mine now too. 'Wow', is all I can think of as I have to look him into his soft eyes again.
"If they help you." I say and nod towards him.
"Yeah, sure." He mutters under his breath and he takes the glass with water to swallow those pills. "Let's see if they work magic." He says sarcastically. I can see it in his movement: He doesn't believe in them but I know that he wants them to work as much as I do.
"Cal, wake up." I whisper softly. A few weeks have been gone by since the first pill. Everyday one more was swallowed. And I saw him change. He got slow. Even drained. He slept a lot. And he craved a lot. Even asked for my puddings. Watching this my heart aches. I'm not sure if the pills are helping him or if it all even gets worse.
Cal reacts to my voice and his eyes open.
"What's wrong?" Is he asking me now.
"You overslept." I answer.
He looks at the clock next to him. 8 o' clock. He grows. "I'm sorry."
It's the first time I hear him say that in a long time and I meet his eyes. "I'm sorry." I whisper. Lay my hand on his. And I feel him resign as my words suck in.
'I'm sorry that you felt so down and I gave up on you. I also was was tired not just you. I was drained in the first place, not you. I'm sorry I let you believe it was your fault.'
Kind of heavy and angsty stuff. I hope you find something good in it nevertheless.
Cocoguest: Thanks for sticking by all these years!
Want more? Let me know! Any wishes? Let me know. ;-) You want the fluff back? Let me know!