Title: A Simple Memory
A/N: Hey… yeah, I'm back after a real long break. I'm sorry… I don't have inspirations for my other two stories. Anyway, this story is dedicated to a friend of mine, Ho Wee Yen, AKA Unquestionable. I know that you're too busy now to read this, but, anyway, this is for you. Yen, if you have to, go, but please, don't leave.
This will be a little hard to understand. It's a songfic, but I took it from a Malay song, namely, Kau Ilhamku. I translated it by myself, so the English version of it isn't very… right. For those who understand Malay, I'd rather you guys read the Malay version of the song which is typed in italics and bold. The English version is typed only in bold.
The park was silent save the soft chirping of birds. The grass rustled as I walked through them. I breathed in the night's fresh air, filling my lungs, trying to refresh myself.
Beads of perspiration were forming on my forehead though it was a cold night. Sighing a little, I proceeded to sit on the swing. It creaked a little under my weight. My hands held onto the chained iron even though it was rusty.
I tiled my head up towards the sky, absorbing in God's wonderful creation. For some reason, I felt a void in me. Emptiness. Everything around me seemed so… surreal, dreamlike. I was missing something. If I thought hard enough, I knew I would find the answer, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to know… I had a premonition that it would hurt me more.
Moments later, a fierce emotion suddenly bubbled up within me. I tried my best to not let it take control of me. If it did, it would show it self… in tears. I hated crying. However, tears soon started to blur my vision. I gripped the swing tightly. My hands started to hurt, but I still felt that emotion growing. I felt hot all over. A precious drop of tear fell to the ground. Far away, in my mind, I heard an insistent thumping. In front of me, I saw a gym. Polish wooden floor, gleaming walls… another tears fell to the ground.
Beribu bintang di langit kini menghilang,
Meraba aku dalam kelam,
Rembulan mengambang kini makin suram,
Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah.
A thousand stars in the sky are vanishing,
Caressing me in the dim light,
The full moon is rising, filled with sorrow,
My dreams are fading without direction
A bitter yet tender wind blew. Trees whispered. My vision disappeared, and I shivered. Standing up, I walked a few paces to my right. This is a place, which I am heading to was a place I hadn't visited in years. A place which I had been trying to avoid, whether consciously or otherwise.
I peeped in and saw two hoops hanging from a plastic board. But… it was silent. The cemented floor looked nothing like the polish floor of the place I was familiar with. Where was all the shouting? The laughter, tears and pain? Where were all the mops? The endless cleaning and complaints? Where were all the things I used to be familiar with? Where was… he?
A drop of rain slapped my face. Automatically, I reached my hand up to my face. Another tear dropped to the ground. In my mind's eye, I saw his face.
Sedetik wajahmu muncul dalam diam,
Ada kerdipan, ada sinar,
Itukah bintang ataupun rembulan,
Terima kasih kuucapkan.
Your face materializes in the stillness,
There's a shine, a sparkle,
Is that a star or a moon?
I utter my thanks…
He left me. He went on, I stayed behind. He passed, but I failed. He… he… left me. I could get no better words… no milder words than that. I was in the basketball court at that time… this basketball court. No wooden floor, no mop, no nothing. But there was rain. Rain washing me, soaking me as I cried, as I swore that I'd never step a foot into such a place again.
It was only the end of our second year. I … I never thought I'd lose him so early. I hadn't learn how to stand up for myself yet, and I couldn't cope. I didn't know how to. And now, I could feel it. The image of everything that happened was fresh in my mind. The smell of the heavy rain, the thumping sound it made, the feel of it… all so real. I felt soaked wet and heavy though the present drizzle had hardly wet me. Another tear dropped to the ground. My knees felt weak, and I crouched to a sitting position.
The rain got a little heavier. Rain water streamed down my face. I smelled the rain as I did two years ago. Felt it, as I did two years ago. Those memories, those sweet happy memories of us together, playing one on one, trying to flirt with girls, avoiding all those shouting fan girls, reading stories off the net… the times when he mistook my dad for me…I know it wasn't his fault that he had to leave, but I felt helpless without him. I felt like I was… drowning. I needed someone to pull me up to the surface of the water, but he wasn't here.
I wish that those memories were real once again. Time passed to fast for my liking then. Time passed to fast when I was with him.
Izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu,
Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu,
Maafkanlah oo…
Andailah ku ini menggangu ruangan hidupmu,
Kau senyumlah oo…
Sekadar memori kita di arena ini,
Kau ilhamku…
Kau ilhamku.
Allow me to steal an image of your face,
Allow me to steal a dream with you,
I'm so sorry,
If I had seemed to constrict your life,
You smiled,
As a memory of us in this arena,
You're my inspiration…
You're my inspiration.
I was scared that I wouldn't be accepted without him. I had lots of bad points, some that even he never knew about. There were secrets I kept from him, and I'm sorry about that, but…I loved him… and he accepted me. Our friendship was so precious, so pure. I never could let it go. I really miss him. Part of me was sad for myself, sad that I won't be who I am without him. But another part of me misses him and wishes that I had told him all the things that I had kept from him. The girl I liked, the things I thought at times… everything.
Izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu,
Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu,
Maafkanlah oo…
Andailah ku ini menggangu ruangan hidupmu,
Kau senyumlah oo…
Sekadar memori kita di arena ini,
Allow me to steal an image of your face,
Allow me to steal a dream with you,
I'm so sorry,
If I had seemed to constrict your life,
You smiled,
As a memory of us in this arena,
I wish these memories were real again…
I wish I could live though that time again…
I wish I had told him how much he meant to me…
I wish that I had treasured him as much as he should have been…
I wish that he was here once again
Kau ilhamku…
Kau ilhamku.
You're my inspiration…
You're my inspiration.
Now I was really wet. I stood up, hardly believing that I had broken down in the middle of this public basketball court. I turned, and walked out of the court, shivering as the wind attacked me from the left. Faraway, I heard my voice calling out his name as he did exactly what I was doing now.
I left.
'Sendo… Please, wait…'
This is my simple memory… something I'll treasure all my life… a simple memory of you.
A/N: It isn't very long according to my normal standards. It was kinda rushed 'coz she left about four days after our exams and I didn't really have the time to write properly as I was spending almost half of my time with her and the other half wishing that she wasn't going. *grin* Tell me what you think…
And Yen, those memories can be replaced by ours. Playing in our so-called "secret place", you selling "those" stuff, teaching Maine to skate, me blabbing your secrets around, you scolding my mom thinking that it was me… (sorry for typing this out… I couldn't resist). Now, as I walk down the hallways to the Physics lab, at times alone as Rachel said, I do think of you, and how your jolly presence always manages to bring a smile to my face… and how quiet my Saturday mornings are without you there to call me up and pester me to play…
I'll miss you…