A/N: Hey guys! I know it's been an age but here's something I've been working on since what feels like 5ever, I'm so lazy I literally never finish anything D: This one-shot really has no plot, like at all, please tell me if it's bad. I just love the NY crew so much, so this is basically based around their friendship with splashes of Dantana in it (since it's written in Dani's POV). All mistakes are mine!
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee!
Dani sighed tiredly as she sluggishly walked up the stairs to Santana, Kurt and Rachel's loft. She'd just finished a twelve-hour shift at the diner. Apparently Gunther had 'business' to 'attend to' so he'd left early without so much as an apologetic look in Dani's direction and not before checking himself out in the mirror as he'd left.
This, of course, left Dani there the rest of the day with no one else except for the cooks and two other waitresses. None of which happened to be her girlfriend or her friends.
Santana and Dani had been dating for four and a half months now, and they couldn't be happier. Things were going so well, Dani barely spent any time in her own apartment anymore. She didn't mind in the slightest though, Rachel and Kurt were fast becoming her close friends, plus sleeping in Santana's bed every other night was just awesome.
Dani had been invited over by Santana the day before, since it happened to be their fortnightly 'roomie bonding time'. Which was a tradition started by Rachel, of course, because she felt that her, Santana and Kurt were 'drifting apart'. And of course, Santana thought Rachel was being over dramatic ('We just have different schedules! And, it's not my fault I have a sexy ass girlfriend that also needs my undivided attention'), but Dani found it very endearing that Rachel wanted to spend time with her best friends. But Santana being Santana, claimed she'd wanted Dani there to keep her sane and stop her from pulling Rachel's non-existent weave out if Rachel suggested that they watch Mamma Mia…again.
Dani is completely convinced her girlfriend is actually just as melodramatic as Rachel, if not more so. But she'd never admit that to her face, she didn't want Santana to revoke her sexy time privileges. And besides, Dani knows Santana would do anything for Rachel (and Kurt) so she knows it's said not to hurt anyone. That's just how Santana Lopez rolls and Dani loves her for it.
Now, as Dani reaches the metal loft door and begins to slide it open, her exhaustion level hits her tenfold and she's so glad that all she has to do is sit back and relax –
"DANI!" someone screamed far too loud into Dani's face than she would have liked. Dani recoiled slightly as she was tugged into a strong hug and then practically attacked by Santana's lips, the bruising kiss made her stumble back one step.
What a wakeup call, Dani thought.
"Hey," Dani managed breathlessly, practically holding Santana up right.
Santana beamed back at her, her eyes glazed over and her smile was a little too wide. Oh great, Santana's dru –
"Well hello, Danielle," a martini holding and scarf wearing Rachel said to Dani from the kitchen area, looking at her with her lips slightly pursed and eyes squinting at Dani strangely. "We've been expecting you…martini?" Rachel held up her glass with a cocked eyebrow and seedy smile.
"Uh, sure…I see you started the party without me," Dani said as Santana clung to her side and she looked about the room taking it all in.
The table was strewn with empty and full wine glasses and a couple caskets of wine lay on the table and surrounding table area. The television was on a pause menu from what Dani assumed was a video game that was for the time being abandoned.
"I thought you said it was just movie night?" Dani directed the question to her girlfriend who had left her side to take a sip from a wine glass on the kitchen counter as Dani moved to sit on one of the kitchen table chairs.
"Well it was, dear! But I'm afraid once the wine was opened it was all downhill from there, terrible, I know. But one cannot simply resist the temptation of a few martinis among friends, correct?" Rachel interrupted in a faux English accent, rounding the kitchen counter and gesturing grandly with her free hand that held what Dani assumed was her martini.
Rachel set it down in front of Dani and Dani gave her a thankful yet confused look and nodded in slight agreement as Santana seated herself on Dani's lap, bringing her wine glass with her.
What the hell is going on…
"Seriously Berry, if you keep talking like that I'll strangle you with that fugly scarf and make it look like a tragic, tragic accident," Santana said, sending Rachel a threatening look.
"Why, Santana, I am positively outraged that you'd threaten me so!" Rachel dramatically held a hand to her chest. "And for your information, this scarf is vintage. Now, if you'll both excuse me, I'm off to the powder room to freshen up." And with that, Rachel sashayed into another part of the loft.
"Umm…powder room?" Dani asked as Santana looked at her again.
"She means bathroom, and don't mind her, this brand of crazy only started yesterday afternoon after someone suggested she should look into more diverse roles. How that translates into…whatever it is that Rachel is doing, is beyond me."
Dani could only laugh. Santana's friends were certainly more entertaining than any movie they could have watched.
"Anyway, enough about Rachel, what about you? How are you, babe?" Santana smiled sweetly and took another drink of her wine.
"I'm fine, today was torture though, I blame Gunther entirely mind you," Dani replied, taking a sip of Santana's wine deciding she didn't want to start on hard liquor yet. "And that guy who says everytime he's never coming back came in and ordered what he usually orders."
"Awww, I love that guy. He's so stupid," Santana says and laughs before pecking Dani on the lips.
"Hmm yeah," Dani adds as she moves in to kiss Santana again. Her girlfriend seriously has the sexiest lips. "I also think Gunther has a girlfriend, I can't decide if that disgusts or intrigues me more."
"Do my ears deceive me? Or did I just hear you say that our dear friend Gunther has found himself a female companion?" Rachel interrupts, again, breezing back into the room with a now empty martini glass.
Damn that girl can drink, Dani thinks as Rachel pours herself some wine instead.
"No one was talking to you Berry."
"I was merely engaging Danielle in friendly conversation."
"No, you were being nosy. And stop calling her Danielle."
"It is her name, is it not?"
"Well yeah, it is, but –"
"Is there a crime in calling one by their name, Santana?"
"Of course there isn't, but if Kurt – "
Dani, sensing an incoming drunken rage from both Rachel and Santana, decided to interrupt. "Speaking of Kurt, where is he?"
Both Rachel and Santana turned to look at Dani just as the loft door slid open, revealing a slightly out of breath Kurt with a couple of plastic bags in tow and his normally perfectly coifed hair was windswept as if he'd been running.
"Okay, remind me to complain next time I see Mr Fuller, that elevator needs to be fixed. Pronto!"
He looked around as he set his bags down and looked about the room.
"Did I miss something?" He asked cluelessly as he started unpacking the bags.
More wine, fruit, whipped cream and a few potato chip packets were unloaded.
"No, Lady, although can you please stop Berry doing that thing already? It's annoying Dani," Santana said.
"No it isn't."
"Shh, yes it is," Santana insisted and shoved her finger sloppily at Dani's mouth.
Kurt said, "Santana, let Rachel do as she pleases," Rachel let out a small sound in appreciation, "even though it is annoying as all hell," to which Rachel huffed indignantly, "hi Dani, by the way." His eye finding Dani's eyes for the first time since he'd walked into the loft.
Dani raised her hand in greeting as Santana got off her lap and stuck her tongue out at Rachel who rolled her eyes good naturedly.
It was moments like this that made Dani love these three people more, sometimes their friendship didn't make sense, but they were a family and Dani could not be happier that she was a part of it…even if they were all a little crazy.
Dani smiled at the three of them while she sipped her martini.
Santana then made her way back over to Dani and she grabbed her hand on the way past. They went and sat on the couch together while Rachel and Kurt giggled about something in the kitchen.
"I know tonight isn't what you were expecting so I hope you don't mind," Santana said, still holding Dani's hand.
Dani smiled at her girlfriend, "Of course I don't mind, the most important thing is I'm here with you."
Santana smiled shyly then Dani said cheekily, "Even if you are on your way to being wasted."
Her girlfriend pretended to look offended when Kurt suddenly said, "I think the term you meant to use is; 'shwasted'."
"What are you talking about, Hummel?" Santana said, raising her wine glass to her lips and took a large gulp.
Yep, drunk Santana it is.
"It's a combination of the term 'shit wasted', therefore, shwasted. It's Urban Dictionary official," Kurt explained matter-of-factly as he settled himself on the single lounge chair next to the couch and picked up the controller to the gaming console. Dani guessed this is what he'd been doing before he'd gone out to get supplies.
Santana excitedly shifted on the couch and fixated her attention to the television screen.
Kurt resumed the game as Dani sipped from her drink.
"Oh yeah! Time for fucking hoes and cashing cheques!" Kurt yelled as he maneuvered the character on the screen.
Dani had no idea what he was talking about nor did she know what game they were playing was…and why was his character stealing that car?
Kurt was laughing manically as he fiddled with the joysticks while Santana was yelling, "Shoot him, Kurt! SHOOT HIM!"
Dani didn't realise she'd been watching the two of them with a confused look on her face until Rachel sat down next to her.
"They've been playing this all day, barbaric isn't it?" Rachel said, watching the screen with disgust.
"What exactly is it?" Dani asked Rachel.
The sounds of guns and police sirens had dissipated as Santana and Kurt turned to Dani with shocked and/or appalled faces.
"Santana! Educate your woman, now!" Kurt demanded, sipped his drink and resumed the game.
"Babe, you've never seen this game before?" Santana asked disbelievingly.
She had to be honest; Dani wasn't exactly a video game type girl. She was a sit-at-home-and-write-love-songs type girl.
Dani shook her head and chuckled slightly at the expression on Santana's face, "No, I'm not very into video games."
"Well, if I had known that, I wouldn't have asked you out," Santana said so seriously that Dani would have believed her if Dani wasn't able to see straight through her girlfriend.
Dani just raised her eyebrows that clearly said, 'really?'
"Santana!" Rachel reprimanded, hand to her chest, as if Santana had personally offended her.
"Calm down, Berry, Dani knows I was joking," Santana said as scooted clumsily around on the floor and sat in between Dani's legs, her back resting on the front of the couch. She raised her hand and Dani took, entwining their fingers sweetly.
"But seriously, babe, I bet you never liked video games because you just never found a game you liked before. And trust me; you'll love Grand Theft Auto." Santana looked up at Dani and Dani pecked her on the lips making both of them smile.
"Dani doesn't seem like the violent type, Santana," Rachel chimed in.
"I'm not violent!" Kurt's voiced sounded muffled from the potato chips he'd shoved in his mouth from the bag Rachel brought with her.
"Puh-lease Hummel, I've seen you when Blaine uses the last of your precious face moisturiser when he's here," Santana countered as Dani passed her the drink that she was reaching for.
Dani knew Blaine was Kurt's fiancé, he always smelled nice and had perfect eyebrows and one time when he was visiting Dani drunkenly asked him if she could count his bow tie collection.
She's still awaiting confirmation.
"I don't get violent, thank you very much!" Kurt said indignantly, pausing the video game.
"Oh yeah, because telling someone that you'll, and I quote, 'castrate you in your sleep', isn't violent?" Santana said as she shifts on her spot on the floor, getting riled up.
Can these three not argue for less than five minutes? Dani thinks to herself, enjoying this.
"You said that, Kurt?" Rachel asks, concerned.
"No! Well, technically yes."
"Poor Blaine," Rachel says, shaking her head sadly.
"But it was an empty threat!" Kurt implores, picking up his drink from and table and taking a large gulp.
"Yeah, a violent one," Santana mutters under her breath loud enough for everyone to hear.
"Oh so we're playing that card are we? Tell me Santana, who is it that basically had a smack down wrestling match with Lauren Zises in Junior year?" Kurt challenges, drink threatening to spill over the edge of the glass.
Dani looking down at Santana suspiciously as Santana looks back at her innocently.
"I was young and stupid?" Santana tries.
Dani looking at her with an 'oh yeah sure' face on.
"She got her ass beat, too," Kurt supplies after a few moments.
Santana gasps and hurls a couch cushion at Kurt who cackles and gets hit in the face and spills some of his drink on his pants.
"Oh my God!" Kurt squeals, looking down at the wet patch forming on his crotch.
Kurt lunges for Santana and she screams (loudly) and runs away from him, all the while Kurt is shouting 'get back here Satan! These were expensive! You owe me dry cleaning money!' as Santana laughs manically, scampering into her area of the loft.
Dani shakes her head at the pair and looks over at Rachel who is smiling at Santana and Kurt too.
"I don't think Santana realises that there isn't much room for her to run anymore," Rachel muses as Kurt and Santana race passed and Kurt corners Santana into a corner in the kitchen and somehow they end up on the floor with Kurt pushing his crotch into Santana's face.
Dani cringed and laughed loudly at her girlfriend's face, the pure disgust evident.
"OH MY GOD GETS YOUR MAN BITS OUTTA MAH GRILL!" Santana screeches and manages to push Kurt away who was smiling victoriously. She hauls herself off the floor and swipes at her face and her arms and legs as if insects had been crawling all over her body.
"I never want to be anywhere near your…" Santana side glances at Kurt's crotch, "Area…ever again. Or else I will castrate you."
Kurt just shrugs his shoulders innocently.
"Oh come on Santana, you act as if you've never seen a penis before," Rachel laughs.
Santana just glares at her before she whips her head in Dani's direction and demands, "Dani! Let me touch your boobs."
Dani snorts with laughter and says, "Later, baby."
She winks at Santana and she sees her girlfriend blush.
"Ugh, please don't do that. Already knowing without verbal confirmation that you two are going to have sex later is bad enough," Kurt says, moving to his area of the loft to, Dani presumes, change his wet pants.
"Just 'cause I'm gettin' some," Santana says cockily and kisses Dani's cheek.
"Yes, we're all very much aware," Rachel mutters, before sipping from her drink.
"And what's that supposed to mean?!" Santana challenges.
"It means you're loud, babe," Dani supplies, pulling Santana onto her lap again, wrapping her arms around her waist.
"I am not – "
"You totally are, I'm pretty sure the while building knows when you're on the cusp of orgasm," Rachel says matter-of-factly.
"Cusp of - !? What does that even - !?" Santana speechless sputters.
"It means we all know what you sound like when you're about to come," Kurt says bluntly, poking his head through his divider/bedroom wall/curtain.
"Oh that's rich coming from you , Kurt. These walls are literally paper thin, I know when you're getting cyber lucky with Warbler."
"She's got a point, Kurt," Rachel says amusedly from behind her hand.
"Don't you start, Rachel Berry! Remember the nights Brody would stay over? As I recall, you were the only one having sex in the loft then," Kurt counters.
"Yeah," Santana drawls out the word. "God that was a horrifying time in my life, something I wish to never remember or visualise again."
"Hey! Can we all just conclude for Dani's sake," Rachel gestures to Dani, who holds her hands up defensively, "That we all know what each other sound like when tipping over into sexual bliss…wait, Santana, did you say visualise?"
"Did you really say 'tipping over into sexual bliss'?"
"Don't change the subject, Lopez. You totally just said you visualised about Brody and Rachel," Kurt sneers.
Santana stares blankly at them as Dani nudges her shoulder teasingly.
"EW! I didn't mean it like that, you sick freaks!" Santana shouts disgustedly. "As if I'd imagine Donkey Boy and Rachel having sex."
"Donkey Boy?" Dani asks questioningly.
"Please don't ask," Kurt says warningly, then looks at Dani curiously. "Hang on…we've never heard Dani you know…before."
Dani looks at Kurt alarmed.
"You're right, Kurt…are you really that bad, Santana?" Rachel accuses jokingly.
"No!" Santana gasps, offended.
Dani knows her girlfriend prides herself on her sexual prowess, so for Rachel to accuse her of 'being bad' in bed was like wounding her personally.
"Santana's actually the best I've ever had," Dani announces before whispering into Santana's ear. "I leave all the good stuff for you, baby."
She kisses Santana's shoulder, who in turn, turns her face toward Dani and brushes their lips together.
"Is it later yet?" Santana asks quietly, almost innocently, but Dani knows she's implying much more.
Dani looks toward Rachel and Kurt, who have moved into the kitchen area, spraying whipped cream into each other's mouths and laughing hysterically.
Dani answers her beautiful glazed over eyed and flushed cheeked girlfriend, by kissing her lips softly, smiling at her cheekily and saying, "Let's go."
Santana excitedly stands up and pulls a laughing Dani with her and heads towards her area, but not before announcing to the loft at large, "Ya'll better have some quality earplugs because my girl ain't gonna be quiet any longer."
"Baby!" Dani squeals as she's pushed into Santana's curtained off area as her girlfriend basically gropes her chest, Santana laughing devilishly.
Meanwhile, Kurt and Rachel stand there looking at the couple in horror.
Suddenly Rachel turns to Kurt and says, "Mamma Mia?"
"YES!"
They both scramble to the lounge as Dani and Santana's giggles and shrieks increase in volume.
THE END
A/N:
So that's that! 3k+ words of Dantana and HummelBerryLopez drabble, great! Sorry if the ending seemed rushed, I really wanted to finish it haha. If this made you laugh, made you smile, made you fall in love with me, made you hate me please review! I'd love to hear all about it :D Also, thanks to all who added me on Snapchat! I know, my lip-syncing videos are absolutely ama-Zayn
PS – follow me on twitter ;) Literally no one likes my absolutely hilarious tweets.
Mischief Managed.