Hello everyone! Here is another Fanfic. This story was actually a fan comic I made on deviant art (it was originally called New life, yes im itsdarkoutside), but never got the chance to finish it and sadly never will because of time, so I'm writing it. It is in the same world as Only Human. Its kind of a prequel but it syncs up with Only Human. It really does not matter which story you read first unless you want to read how Anders is from normal to crazy then start here. :D Sorry for typos!
EDIT! Hey guys! I got some feedback on the story so Im currently re editing it, this chapter is finished but the next chapters are currently being worked on. :D
Prologue
With each step her heart beat quickened. The growing twist of the knot in her stomach grew tighter as his door loomed closer. Twenty feet, ten feet, five feet and the fate of what was behind the giant oak door and Lita Cousland would finally meet.
She stood frozen in place staring straight ahead at the door. A small chill rain down her spin and the long torch lit stone hallway draped with the double mabari banners seemed to close in around her pushing her closer to that door. Taking a deep breath she ran a lightly armored hand over her long chocolate colored hair making sure the ponytail and leather armor was still in place and presentable. She tightened her fist and raised it to knock.
"Lita, I know you're out there. Just come on in." His voice behind the door made her heart stop. It had been months since she heard his voice. A shaky hand grasped the door handle. The turning click and the groaning song of the door echoed in the silence.
There he was. The bastard King Alistair Theirin sitting at the end of his study. His hands were folded behind his head and he slouched back in his large decorative chair.
"Well, it's so nice to finally see you." Alistair said in a light tone. "It only took you six months, was it? Please have a seat." His face was serious and professional as he motioned to a chair placed on the opposite side of his desk.
Lita stared at him with cold emerald eyes and the words slipped sharply off her tongue. "Yes, your Majesty."
She observed the room around her when she took her place. His desk was strong, sturdy and piled high with books, important letters and numerous plates of left over food and drink. Walls were decorated with various weapons they had collected on their travels together during the blight. The blight, it seemed so long ago but in reality only a year had passed. Lita pushed those thoughts away. There was no point of bringing up the past. What they had was long gone and thinking about it will only cause more pain. Large paintings filled one side of a wall of rulers past. Lita knew of them all and she wondered how Alistair felt about them; the eyes of a family that gave him up, looking down on him as he worked each and every day in this study. It must be uncomfortable for him; at least she hoped it was.
Her attention became focused on the man in front of her. His strawberry blonde hair was getting shaggy and he let the hair on his chin grow out. Dark circles formed under his eyes and his white cotton shirt was covered in purple stains. If he was anywhere else people would mistake him for a drunk. The last time she saw him look this disheveled was when Duncan died. It honestly surprised her that it would be allowed for the king to let himself go this way. He just looked miserable to her and for Lita a small part of her felt glade.
"My your Majesty it appears you have let yourself go." Lita said in a snarky tone; a small smile spreading across her freckled face. She crossed her legs, straightened her back and laid her leather covered arms down in her lap making sure that the leather skirt stayed in place. It was time to play the part of the perfect noble woman just like mother taught her. This was a game she did not plan to lose, especially not to him.
Alistair glared at her. He had seen this before. She was playing the game. The same game of the professional noble lady she used at the Landsmeet to get her way. To let it be known of how powerful she truly was and how big of a snotty brat she could be by pretending to be polite at the same time. Fine he can play too. "Don't call me that. I believe we have reached a point in our relationship beyond formalities wouldn't you say?" He leaned forward placing his chin on his hands.
"Unfortunately." She bit back equaling matching his glare with her own. "Please my dear King of Ferelden, tell me why you have summoned me."
A small smirk formed on Alistair's lips. He knew just by the tone that she was going to be difficult. "So it's going to be like this then? Goody."
Lita took a deep breath. That smirk. That stupid smirk. Her heart started to beat a little faster. Calm down she repeated inside her head.
He moved awkwardly around his desk fumbling through papers and moving books trying to find what he was looking for. The sight irritated Lita. How could someone be so unorganized? It came to point where he started juggling plates spilling the contents all over the place. She let out a small cough and he finally found what he was looking for.
"I have good news." He said as he brushed off old cheese crumbs from a letter with a list of signatures on the bottom.
"You are now commander of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden and the Arlessa of Amaranthine." He handed her the paper. "Congratulations."
Lita grabbed the paper in disbelief and shock washed over her face. Aside of the paper having worn edges and a wine stain present, her eyes slowly focused on the words printed in perfect penmanship:
Lita Cousland now commander of the Grey in Ferelden.
The world stopped around her. What she heard and saw could not be real. This had to be a terrible nightmare. It just had to be. All the feelings and the nerves she felt before came flooding back to her in one giant wave. The bile was slowly rising to her throat and her chest tightened in pain. She was going to be sick.
"No." The whisper choked out.
"No?" Alistair questioned back. He raised an eye brow and shook his head. "I'm sorry but you don't get a say in this matter."
"I don't get a say?!" Her voice was starting to rise. Every emotion she felt towards him, Amaranthine, and the Wardens were filling her senses. Love, hate, disgust, and sorrow; it could not be stopped. She stood up and slammed her hands on his desk. Green eyes met blue in a heated stare. If anyone else had been present in the room they would fear that the two former companions would end up tearing each other to shreds.
"I don't get a say my ass!" She yelled shaking a finger a him. "My answer is no! No!"
Alistair leaned forward bringing himself only inches from her face never breaking his stare. The look in his eyes looked foreign to her. She knew him well, all of his facial expressions and how he would raise that eye brow to mock, how he would squint his eyes when irritated, and even the over exaggerated frown he used when he did not get his way. This look was not him. It was the look of a king.
The look of a king. He was a king and he had changed after all. The tone was so strong and so commanding. "I wasn't asking."
Lita stood up and kicked the chair. It tumbled over with a loud thud. The wooden legs splintered off in the floor. Every ounce of her wanted to punch him, the King. The king she picked. She wondered what he would do if she did but at the same time she did not care. Her hand clasped tight getting ready for the strike but instead she used that forced to punch his desk. A stinging vibration ran through her hand but she did not react the anger was boiling inside of her and it needed to be released.
Alistair watched as she threw her fit. He had a feeling this would happen. Lita was known after all to have a nasty temper and as he watched her break his things and tear the weapons off the floor he could not help but think about how much he actually missed her. It was painful for him watching the one thing he could not have be in so much torment.
"Why would you do this to me?!" She grabbed books and threw them against the wall. Yelling in frustration she kicked over weapons and small tables breaking them and the decorative glassware that had made itself home there for years. The entire office was becoming a disaster zone because of her and to her it felt amazing. He deserved this. This stupid man deserved all of this.
It was not until she grabbed Duncan's shield did Alistair finally had enough of watching her tantrum and grabbed her shoulders hard. "Will you stop acting like a child?!" He shook her and pointed to the mess she made and let her go. His foot steps crunched on broken glass as he started pacing around. "It wasn't just me you know. I'm not stupid. I know what Amaranthine is to you." Pausing he ran his hand through his hair giving her a desperate look. "I'm sorry."
He's sorry! The thought seared through her mind. Alistair had no idea what Amaranthine was to her. His family was not butchered by the man who disguised himself as the best friend. It was not his family who took multiple trips to Amaranthine to see this butcher of man and his horrid family. The blood of his family or the screams of a brother for his wife and child did not haunt him every night. It was her family, her brother and it was her life.
"No!" She waved her arms shouting.
"Lita!" He gave out an irritated sigh hesitating his next sentence. "It was your brother's idea!"
Betrayal. She stopped all movement, all talking and even breathing. Fergus would not do this to her. "You're lying."
"Look at the paper Lita." He bent over and picked the crumbled paper from the ground and handed it to her again. There it was his signature at the bottom in his scratchy hand writing along with Alistair's and the First Warden.
Tears were threatening to spill from her eyes. She needed to be strong. Women like her do not cry. Women like her do not cry. "Why?"
Alistair looked her over and he carefully went into an explanation trying not to set off another temper tantrum within her. "Your brother thought it would be a good idea to give Amaranthine to the Wardens since the Howes are no longer. The first Warden of Weisshaupt thought it to be a grand idea to use it to help rebuild the order in Ferelden. He suggested putting an Orlesion warden in charge but your brother denied it stating that having an Orlesion in charge would most likely cause problems for an already unstable arling." He took a seat at the edge of his newly cleared desk. "We are the only wardens in Ferelden. Since you made me King I cannot do it, so that makes you Lita. Your brother suggested you."
"Why would he do this to me?" Lita felt dead inside. She wanted nothing more than to jump ship and never be seen again.
"Don't run away. They will look for you if you do." Alistair said as if reading her thoughts. He watched as she crumbled the paper in her hand and toss it back to the floor. Walking back up to her he placed his hands on her shoulders wanting to comfort her but not knowing how. Her hair lightly brushed his hands as she shook her head and he fought the hard urge to run his fingers through it. He wanted to feel her again.
The hollow feeling of defeat spread within her and she shook off Alistair's hands not wanting the contact. She lost the game; she lost everything. "When do I leave?"
He could barely hear the question leave her lips. This was becoming all too familiar. "A few days from now. Fergus already had your things sent when you left Highever to meet with me." Her body stood straight and still in front of him. She was becoming the statue.
"I see." She wanted to leave, now. Being in this room was suffocating. She needed out now.
It was all too familiar. He was about to lose her again. "There is a warden recruit here to escort you to Amarantine."
"I see." Lita took a few steps toward the door. "Good day your Majesty."
He needed to fix this. This was becoming a replay of the mistakes he made. "Lita wait!" Alistair grabbed her arm making her look at him. "I want to say I'm sorry, for everything."
She felt the anger creep up again. The door was a few feet away from her and she wanted to leave, but he had to stall her. "You said it wasn't just you, so I don't need your sorry."
Alistair closed his eyes. That was not what he meant. He needed to fix this. "That's not what I'm talking about. After you killed the arch demon you just vanished." His eyes drifted to her covered arm. She was always good at hiding her scars but that one was a secret. He knew what happened after the killing of the arch demon. Teagan made him swear he would never bring it up but he could not help but feel it was his fault. It was his fault.
"Only you would bring something like this up at a time like this!" She tore her arm away from his grasp. The way he looked at her arm made her wonder if he knew but he did not have the right to know. This conversation was over and he had caused enough damage already.
"Haven't I had enough emotional torture from you?!" The words choked out with a sob. Walls were crumbling down. Crying was a sign of weakness. Must be strong.
"Lita, I didn't want to hurt you. Everything I did was for you, because I love you." The emotion was full in his voice. He needed her to understand that everything he did was in the best interest for her.
"Love? Was it love when you broke my heart; saying it could never be because of the off chance of not having an heir. Was it love when you slept with that bitch behind my back? Did you think I wouldn't know when I noticed I was still alive after slaying a beast that was supposed to kill me?!" She gave him one last glare. The signs of hurt were plastered all over his face but she did not care, not anymore. "You should have let me die!"
Lita marched to the door ignoring his cries to her. A single tear slid down her face and she slammed the door. She will never forgive him, any of them.
Alistair stared at the closed door. Its echo still ringing in his office. She was gone. He did it again.