This fanfiction is based of of the doujinshi "Call", which you can find on youtube if you interested in watching it.
Disclaimer: I do not own deathnote, because if I did it would have nothing to do with a death note, or kira, it would be a yaoi.
I had...a dream...
In it the two of us walked together...
"Mello, you've got to be kidding me, all this bullshit, all this lying. How could you even imagine I'd still want you?"
"Matt...You don't know what your saying, you don't know anything now....WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"
"No Mello, what the hell is wrong with you....monsters don't win in the end, they sink deeper and deeper, trying, failing, hurting others, I don't even know you anymore, mabey I never did.
I never did...
I never did...
Matt...
The impact of such simple words sent Mello reeling, sent him over the edge and he whipped the gun up, pointing it into that pale face, marred with hate, with disgust. If he was a monster, then why not continue, why not send himself over the edge with one last act, one more goddamn transgression upon his already damned soul.
Why not with Matt.
The crack was resounding, an echo upon echoes that continued in his head even when the thin chest stopped moving up and down. Even when the blood leaked and touched the edge of a leather boot, even when barrel was allowed to invade his mouth...a shotgun kiss.
In the absolute darkness one person was left behind in the dark.
And then unnoticed carelessly I said. "There's nothing to worry about."
But that fell into silence....
I screamed recklessly into the dark room, letting the fear of what I'd just done, even in a dream, sink into my relentless bones. You're a monster, it echoed in my bones constricting my trembling form.
"MATT"
The apartment stayed dark, no comforting lights to still the darkness consuming me now, no tinkling game music to calm my fears, no Matt.
No more Matt.
As tears fell...
We met again by chance
and since that moment...
And when I woke again, all heaving and sweat and tears, there was light, there was fear, there was my whole fucking life trying to hold me down on the dingy mattress.
"Miheal! Mello, it's a dream, your awake, stop moving!" He screamed this in my face, still trying to hold me down, failing, because I was falling, and no one could pick me up. The pieces slicing their delicate, innocent hands.
Where else on earth could I go.
With you here with me.
We've shared each other's destiny...
"It's ok, mello, believe me, it's ok. Your fine.
Did it matter if I was fine?
Did it even matter if he left?
"Mat..Matt, you can't .
I was a pathetic wreck, holding him on top of me, arms looped tight around his waist, concrete. He brushed hair from my sweating, scarred face, kissing up and down furiously, trying to make me understand, to stop scaring him.
"I need you Matt, nnnghh, I need you right now."
I'd scared him shitless, and he continued, furiously desperate.
Taking the pain away, making the fear disappear if only for a while.
My mouth met his, hanging on and sucking hard grinding my nose against his as we let out tongues fight. A dance of slick lips, burning rage, and of bringing our faces closer leaving bruiseson my sharp cheekbones.
Oh God.
I'm so sorry.
I...
I'm so unrepentant.
I'm so sorry, God.
I'm such an utterly detestable child of yours.
"It's not enough...Matt, keep going."
He kissed harder, grinding against me, pulling off the cotton sleeping pants, giving no time to think. And still it wasn't enough.
I keened looping arms tighter around his shoulders, watching that mop of red dip down and take me fully in, already licking and sucking as fast as he could.
"W-what's the matter, Mello" he forced out between licks. "What's so f-frightening?"
I couldn't answer, only shut my eyes tighter and waiting for the orgasm to hit me, feeling his hands sliding between me, touching my pulsing entrance roughly.
He cool green eyes stares questioningly into mine, I could feel him searching, and his arms held my throbbing hips closer.
I couldn't tell him.
When I came into his throat, he let creamy white leak out, pulling himself upwards and lapping at my mouth with his tongue. He didn't kiss my aching lips, only buried his hand in my blonde locks and pulled tight. Licking my lips, my tongue, letting me taste myself.
"I will give you all of me" I felt him saying "I'll never leave you Mihael."
Please Matt
I love you...
Don't leave this monster.
With all this anxiety...
I will call out your name
Again and again.
Review's are welcome. 3