Chapter One

Katniss and Peetas story post Mocking Jay.

I do not own hunger games, and this story is just how I imagine things to be when Peeta and Katniss try to rebuild their lives. My own ideas, but the general idea has been written many of times.

My first fanfic, all reads, reviews, follows and favourites are appreciated:-)

Only yesterday I was awoken by the sound of my screaming.
Again.
I had thrashed around in the tangle of my sheets, whilst I cried and shouted out for Peeta, for his strong arms and calming reassurances that it was only another nightmare, that it hadn't been real.
I had struggled, and broken free of the bed clothes. It had taken me a few moments to realise that Peeta wasn't there.
I had shouted out his name, and hoped to hear a call back from the kitchen. My heart sank, the moment the words fell from my mouth I knew there would be no reply.

I need to stop doing this, I had told myself. He's not here.

Over the last few months, I have spent my days trying to rebuild my life, and having Peeta there has been the icing on the cake, quite literally. He's helped me more than I can ever admit.
At first we stayed away, worried at one another's actions and what would lead from them. We kept things mutual and hardly saw eachother; he'd be busy baking and I would be wallowing in self pity. But eventually we grew closer, we began to rely on each other and we looked out for one another once again. I just wish that now I could say the same. Deep down, I cling on to the idea that somewhere inside both of us those feelings still exist. That one day, what happened that night will be forgotten, and that I will have my Peeta back. Because, for the second time - although we promised ourselves it wouldn't - we've lost eachother again, perhaps for ever. But I can't afford to think like that, because only I know what it feels like to loose him, and it's not a feeling that I like, to say the least.

Since that night, instead of sorting myself out, I had sat, not moving. Just thinking. Thinking of her. Thinking of him. Thinking of all the misery and death I have caused. The only time my mind had wandered was during my nightmares, that only seemed to be getting worse and worse.

It was only one spring morning that I was filled with a longing, longing to breathe fresh air and longing to feel the spring breeze across my skin. I guided my deteriorated body up the stairs, peeled my clothes off and sat in the shower. I allowed the hot silky water to wash away my anger, guilt and sadness. My sister is dead, even though I tried so hard to save her. I have lost my best friend, Gale, whom I will most probably never see again. Peeta, who is only metres away from my house feels a million miles away. And to top it all off, everything from my past still haunts me.
I drag myself from the bathroom, put on some clean clothes and make my way to the front door.

I haven't been out in so long that my lungs have a difficulty taking in all the fresh air. I stand there, inhaling the smells deeply and I loose myself in the beauty of the flowers.
The flowers.
Primroses.
Wild primroses, dotted all over my front lawn.
My mind spins, my stomach turns, my body shakes and before I can grab the door, my body slams on to the stone just below my front door.

It takes me a while to realise where I am. Lying, unmoved from the hard stone step just centimetres from my front door. The sun has gone and I'm left staring into the darkness, shivering and aching. I must've been here for hours, my body is fixed solid like the stone I lie on. There's no one here taking care of me, I'm paralysed, and unnoticed, with my head thumping uncontrollably. I slide my arm up towards my temple, then recoil it fast when my hand dabbles in my blood. An open wound. Panic surges through me, I'm unable to move, I scream. Scream and scream because it seems to be the only thing I'm capable of lately. Just as I'm about to pass out, someone kneels beside my body, speaking to me but I hear nothing. I'm staring into eyes, eyes so familiar but yet so unknown. I don't resist when a strong pair of arms scoop me up, and just before I pass out, I let myself remember just a small detail about this person.
His blonde hair.