A/N: Well, hello! Another A:TLA short story. Originally, I intended stood Zutara Week this year, but between work and personal projects, that isn't going to be possible this year. However, this idea was just too good to pass up. This was for the prompt bound, but I feel as though you could pick out a few others if you really look for them. In any case, I'm breaking this story into chapters for those of you who, like me, do everything on your iPad and accidentally hit the top and loose your place all the time. Besides, I feel that by breaking this up it will flow better. That being said, this is the shortest of my TWO author's notes. the other will be to explain things you've read. Well, enjoy and please leave a review!
Disclaimer: All Rights Reserved to Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko. Trust me, if owned it, it would be Zutara all the way!
"So, you're getting married," she breathed. Afraid to say it any louder in case it wasn't true. Or, in case it was.
"Yes," he replied after turning to face the one who had spoken. To be honest, he was surprised to find her there. Of all the people who had tried to convince him out of this marriage, she was the last one he expected. Not to say that his heart didn't swell with the idea of there being some ulterior motive behind it. She stood back, one foot almost out the door. Her long brown hair fell in rivulets of sleek curls that framed the magnificently blue depths of her eyes while her bronzed skin glowed in the russet light of the falling sun. The blue robes she wore were being worried in the thin, sleek fingers that could surprise the greatest of warriors with their power. Had surprised them, come to think of it. As much as he hated to see her insecure and nervous, he loved it when she bit her lip like that. He loved to see the twinkle in her eyes he hoped was only for him.
"Why?"
Why? She knew why. But, she couldn't bring herself to think of it like that. She couldn't bring herself to think of how he loved that woman more than her. How this man- this Fire Lord- with his shaggy, black hair and eyes more golden than the sun, could love another. How this man with a badge of honor, once thought to be a mark of disgrace across his left eye, could be in love with someone else. She couldn't bare the thought of his lean and muscled body being in the arms of another, his broad frame holding another in comfort. Another and not her.
Not her.
"I have to." He didn't look at her as he said it, but, instead, he stared at his reflection in the mirror. The thick and heavy robes of ceremony hung off his tall body in waves of shimmering red and gold. He imagined that he looked every bit the Fire Lord in robes meant to embody the nature of flames. Not that he cared. He wasn't marrying the woman he wanted to. The one that he loved.
No, he was marrying the woman who had hidden herself behind masks all her life. A woman that he could only think of as his own little sister. She was certainly more of one than his own. His internal snort of scorn barely registered to him. He hated this. This woman didn't even love him either. At least, not as a husband. No, she was in love with another woman. His other sisterly figure.
"What do you mean?" She was confused, if not a little hurt. He should be getting married because he wanted to, not because he had to. He should be happy about this; glowing with excitement of becoming a husband to the woman he loved. So, why did he look like he did after he had defeated his sister in the Agni Kai that gave him his throne?
He sighed and his whole body crumpled with fatigue. And, when he looked at her, she could see a weary and resigned pain that glowed behind his fiery eyes. This wasn't the man that she was used to dealing with. She was used to the strong willed and capable leader of a nation. The powerful firebender who had almost single handedly ended the war and brought along an era of peace to the world. Who had taken over much of the responsibility of the man whom she was engaged to. The Avatar. Instead, she was faced with a man who looked far older than he was. A man who had not known personal peace and happiness for many years. And, maybe he hadn't. Spirits only know how hard he was working himself.
"I will lose my throne if I don't, Katara," Zuko whispered, his steady gaze searching her eyes. He was only vaguely surprised to find that she was more than confused. He had thought that maybe she would understand, but he hadn't held much hope to the matter, since she was a foreigner after all. It wasn't fair for her to be dragged into the political moose-bull shit of his country's nobility.
"I don't understand, Zuko. Why would you loose your throne if you didn't marry Mai?"
Zuko couldn't help the resigned sigh he released before he began explaining. "It is a very ancient law. A Fire Lord must be married with an heir or a wife who can produce one within the year of their marriage before he can even become the Fire Lord. It's archaic and a bit barbaric, but it is one of our more sacred laws. It makes sense in the times of war, which is when it was implemented. Should something happen to the current Fire Lord, the line will not be broken and an heir will already be decided. It hasn't really been a deciding factor in my rule as of yet. But, after defeating every political attempt to remove me from the throne and every assassination attempt, this is the last hurtle I have to cross in order to have unquestionable rule over my Nation. This is just one more duty of the Fire Lord," he whispered. He couldn't take looking into her horrified gaze, her penetrating eyes as they searched for the lie in what he had told her. So he turned away from her, back towards the mirror.
"At least you are marrying Mai," she whispered. Stoic, masked, knife throwing, gay Mai, she thought to herself bitterly. She had to turn her head away from him so he couldn't see the tears; it wasn't right. She was going to marry Aang. And yet, here she was. Crying over a man she could never have.
The only man she actually wanted.
The one man she loved.
"I don't want to."
"What?" Katara asked, incredulous. There was no way she had heard that right. He was Zuko, in love with Mai! He didn't just say that he didn't want to marry her. Did he?
"I don't want to marry Mai. I don't want to marry a woman who we mutually consider more of a sister to me than a lover. I don't want," he trailed off, closing his eyes as he tilted his head back to release the plume of frustrated flames and smoke. It wasn't often that he lost his temper like this anymore. But, he couldn't mean that. Right? She was just being stupidly and selfishly hopeful. Right?
"But-"
"No, Katara. It's true. I'm not as blind as people, you included, think I am. I know that Mai and Ty Lee have been lovers since the first anniversary celebration of the end of the war, four years ago. I fully supported them. I still do. I continued to play the game of courting her so that she could find a way to convince her family of her new life as Ty Lee's wife, instead of mine. But, the nobles saw an opportunity to chase me out of the palace and used it. She and I came to an agreement. And, I don't know why I'm even telling you this," he finished lamely, seating himself on the lip of the window sill to bury his head in his hands. "I guess that being my best friend, I trust you more than myself," he said, sardonically laughing at himself.
Katara didn't know what to say. She had seen Mai and Ty Lee together on multiple occasions. Though, she always guessed that the two were infinitely more careful within the palace than they were on Kyoshi Island or Zuko's summer home. But, Zuko had always been so doting on the two. Looking back she could see the brotherly affection he had displayed over the love he had convinced everyone he held. But, she had always assumed that the two would eventually have their falling out and that everything would be brought to light. To think that he had always known and had actually agreed to make himself look the fool for all those years so that they could be happy? It brought a new wave of tears to her eyes and a swell of pride to her heart.
Quietly, she shut the door and made her way over to him. She hardly noticed the soft murmur of her dress as it rustled along the stone floor, whereas it would have driven her crazy a moment before. She just wanted to hold him, so he knew that he wasn't alone. That she loved him.
Even if she couldn't tell him.
"If people knew what you are willing to do for their country and your friends, they would never ask another thing of you," she murmured, pulling his head to her shoulder. She was shocked to find that tears had begun falling from his eyes. But, she willingly accepted the wet spots on her dress top as she held his head to her shoulder. She needed him to know. "You are a kind and brave man. A truly amazing Fire Lord. You are so willing to do the right thing that you would sacrifice your own happiness for others."
"No. So long as the Fire Nation is at peace and my people are happy, I'm happy," he whispered into her shoulder. His strong arms had found their way around her waist and his big, warm hands rested along her spine. She had to bite her lips to keep from sobbing at his statement, so callously put.
"You deserve so much more! You have done nothing but sacrifice your peace of mind and love for the people of this land. You deserve to be happy. More than happy. You deserve to be married to a woman who really understands you. Your commitments. A woman who loves you despite all you have down wrong and all that you do right. A woman who knows about your past and doesn't judge you for it. You deserve to be understood and happy," she declared, holding his head tighter to her shoulder, whispering her words into his ear. She silently begged him to hear what she was really saying. To hear that she loved him.
"It's ok, Katara. Once Mai and I have a child, I will be happy. I will have someone who loves me unconditionally. And besides, I have Uncle. And while they may practically be my sisters, I will always have Mai and Ty Lee to listen to me. To know about my past-"
"No, Zuko. That isn't fair! Why must you always make sure everyone is happy before you are? Why do you put yourself last? Isn't part of choosing your own destiny taking time to yourself and making choices that will make you happy?"
"Yes. But, Katara-"
"No, Zuko. You are so much better. You have to give yourself time to find what you want."
"You don't get it!" Zuko roared, ripping himself free of her embrace. He turned away from her, seething to the ceiling. "I don't have time! I wasted it all being self conscious! I wasted it hoping that, one day, the woman I loved would love me back! I don't have time to waste trying to find someone who really cares about me!"
"Zuko, I-"
"I have one week, Katara! One week to secure my place on the throne!" he yelled, raising a single finger before her face. Desperation and hopelessness lit his eyes. Panic fluttered in his features as he began pacing. "I have one week before I am removed from my position. And not just so that Uncle will step up until I do find a wife and bear an heir. No! If I don't marry Mai by the end of the week, one of my cousins will take the throne. Permanently! And if you thought that the war was bad before, I can assure you that Nozomu is just as war hungry and ruthless as Azula and Ozai were! I can't let that happen. If I don't marry Mai by the end of the week, the one hundred year war will look like nothing in comparison and all that Aang and I have done to bring peace will have been for nothing!" He finished with a great wave of fire that spread from his hands towards the ground. Even though it didn't touch her and dissipated before it even reached the floor, Katara could still feel the white hot rage in its heat. She was startled to say the least, and the tears that she had been trying to hold back from him freed themselves from her restraints.
"Zuko," she breathed, reaching towards his shaking build. He was a teenager again. Unable to justify the world with right and wrong and stuck in whirlpool of gray that threatened to consume him once more. She hated seeing him like this; she wanted to take away all the uncertainty. She didn't realize how close he was to breaking down until she had taken his hands into her own. The pitiful sobs that wracked his body were unbecoming of his station as the Fire Lord, but she couldn't bring herself to think of how weak he appeared. All she wanted to do was take him away from this place. From those awful men who worked their hardest to make his reign fail.
"Zuko," she soothed, pulling him closer to her as she ran her fingers through his disheveled topknot. "Don't marry her. Declare the law void. Don't do this just to prevent a war. You have to do what makes you happy. Please, I'm begging you. I can't watch you throw away your life just because those men wish to watch you fail. Please, Zuko-"
"I can't. I tried. I tried," he sobbed, wrapping himself in the comfort of her embrace. She willingly gave herself to him. Willingly allowed him to collapse into her and loose himself in the love she held for him.
"There has to be a way. Please, Zuko. Think!"
"I can't. It doesn't matter anymore anyway. Everything has been set up. If I back out now, I won't just be ruining my reputation, but Mai's as well. You can't ask me to do that to her. And, even if I could, the only woman I love isn't available to me anymore. She is in love with someone else," he muttered, bitterly wrenching himself from her comfort once more. He couldn't stand it. He loved her so much it hurt to watch her with Aang. It hurt to know she was only doing all of this as a friend.
"Marry me, instead."
They both froze. His wide eyes staring incredulously into her own shocked eyes as she covered her mouth. She couldn't believe that she had just said it. In her mind she could, but how could she justify saying it to him aloud? He didn't love her. He loved Mai. And she was engaged. To Aang!
"What?" he breathed, his expression fading from shock to a strangely stoic mask. Even the fires in his eyes seemed to be veiled from her. She wanted to back away, to tell him that she didn't mean what she had said. But, she didn't. She couldn't. The veil wasn't enough to hide the hopeful spark.
"Marry me," she whispered again, taking his face in her hands gently. The shock was there again. But, she was calm. She wanted this. She wanted him and not Aang. Yes, she loved him. Yes, wanted him to be happy. But, Aang was still so young and carefree. The love she had for her fiancé was no different than the love Zuko held for Mai and Ty Lee. No different than the love that she held for Sokka.
"You're engaged," he breathed, his hands finding her waist despite his hesitance.
"I love him," she agreed, never taking her eyes away from his intense gaze.
"But, not the way I should. I love him like I love my brother. Not like I love you."
"You…?"
"I love you, Zuko," she confirmed, reaching up to kiss his lips ever so softly. To convince him that she was telling him the truth. To assure him that this wasn't some cruel joke. She needed him to know just how much she loved him. She shouldn't have told him, but she would never take it back. She just couldn't. She loved him too much.
Her kiss brought him out of his stupor, and he kissed back with all the desperation for acceptance and love he had held in for so long. His lips were soft against hers, and despite the fervor behind it, he was gentle and caring. He was slow and comforting. Katara could feel herself loosing her heart to him as she was given his.
"Katara," he sighed. "How long?"
"Always. I didn't want to admit it. I wanted to believe that I loved Aang the way he loved me. But, I was just lying to myself as much as I was to you. I'm sorry. Please, Zuko. I can't watch you marry Mai. I love you too much," she sobbed, clutching to his robes.
"I don't know what to do," he told her, honestly confused.
"What do you mean?" she cried, returning to stare directly into his molten eyes.
"I love you so much, Katara. I want to marry you. I do. But," he trailed off, turning to stare out the window, his arms still clutched around her tightly.
"But, what?"
"You're a waterbender. And, I'm the Fire Lord. My nation would never accept you, no matter how much I love you. Besides, the engagement with Mai is set. I told you, I cannot break it off without endangering both our reputations and paying the fines. I don't know what to do," he repeated softly, resting his scarred cheek against the top of her head as it rested against his broad shoulder.
"You idiot!"
Both benders jumped, turning with utter shock towards the door as it burst open to reveal the declaring figure. Or, rather, figures. To both their surprise, five people walked right into Zuko's private chambers.
"Excuse me?" They both asked with indignant incredulity. They had already pulled apart in their embarrassment.
"You heard me!" Toph exclaimed as Suki shut the door behind the five entering figures of their friends.
"Even if I did, Toph, that doesn't mean I understand to what you are referring to," the firebender replied, pinching the bridge of his nose to discretely wipe the tears from his eyes. Not to mention futilely stave off the headache he was sure to get from the metalbender.
"Oh don't even pretend! We all know what you two were talking about!"
"Yeah, it's about time you two figured out how you felt about each other," Mai smirked, gently resting her hand upon her fiancé's shoulder.
"You knew?"
"Well of course! We all knew. Well, except maybe Aang," Ty Lee chirped, sadly shaking her head at the thought of the oblivious airbender.
"Yeah, sis. I knew, and I'm the supposedly oblivious one. I wonder what that makes you?" Sokka joked, wrapping this sister in his arms. She dug her elbow into his ribs in retaliation.
"Why didn't you say anything then?" she accused, gazing between the five friends, hurt. "If you all knew, why would you watch us make such terrible decisions and throw our lives away and not be happy?" She felt betrayed. Her own brother had known and yet had said nothing. He was going to let her go and marry a man he knew she didn't love while the man she did love was going to marry another woman? That traitor! He was supposed to be looking out for her. And he never said a word!
"I did!" he defended, Suki and Toph both nodding in emphasized agreement. "All those times I asked you if you were sure you wanted to marry Aang. All those times I asked you how you felt about Aang. All those times I joked about you being Zuko's friend! Those weren't all coincidences! I wasn't doing it to get a rise out of you. I was really asking you, Katara. I was really trying to get you see on your own just how much you loved Zuko, and not Aang! But, you're so stubborn sometimes that you just don't get it!" He was exasperated, hurt at her silent accusations. She could see his genuine concern. Looking back she could see all those hints for what they were. He really did mean to help. Damn, she was such a fool!
"Sokka," she trailed off, holding onto him tightly. She hoped that he wasn't so dense about this that he couldn't see how sorry she was. He seemed to understand because he kissed her temple and held her tight.
"Well, we would say the same goes for you too, Sparky. But, you've always known how you felt about Katara. At least since the end of the war," Toph grumbled. "You're just so damned determined to make sure everyone else is happy you won't listen to us."
Zuko didn't respond to the metalbender's grumblings. He simply bowed his head in acceptance and offered her a tiny hug. She reciprocated with a light punch to the shoulder.
"Well. Now that we have this all understood, it's time to get everything under way!" Sokka cried, triumphantly punching the air with one arm, the other still wrapped tightly around his sister. "Now, listen you guys. There is a lot to do before we can get the two of you together properly. Not to mention all the sneaky stuff."
"What are you talking about? You heard Zuko. There are things that have already been sorted out that he can't take back."
"Well, if you go straight out and tell everyone that you're leaving Aang for the Fire Lord and Zuko tells everyone that he is leaving Mai, a Fire Nation Noble, for a Southern Water Tribe waterbender, yeah. That will end badly. But, don't you think that Toph and I haven't been working on just a way to get the two of you together since you both made these stupid decisions? Give us some credit."
Katara couldn't help the snort of derisive laughter. Zuko himself rolled his eyes and leaned back against the window sill. He crossed his arms over his chest, shrugging out of his fiancée's hold.
"Well tell us, oh great Plan Master Sokka, what have you five been cooking up without the authorization of the Fire Lord or the greatest waterbending master in the southern seas?"
"Now, now. There is no need to be so cynical!" the water tribesman mocked, waggling a finger towards the sour firebender.
"Yeah, Sparky. Even Snoozels can come up with a great plan once in a while," Toph smirked wickedly.
"Hey! I will have you know-" Sokka began defensively.
"Not now, Sokka. Lets focus on your sister for the time being."
"Right. Well, if you're ready to listen to my awesome plan, this is what we have to do."