One morning Legolas walked into his father's dressing room to ask him about the daily tally of Merhína Indil deaths. Thranduil was spraying something that appeared to be hairspray in a cloud about his head. Legolas, familiar with this daily practice, began speaking, but when he opened his mouth a ghastly taste from whatever his father was spraying assailed his senses.
"Adar! What are you using?!" He waved his hands above his head, coughing and trying not to step out of the room.
Thranduil whirled majestically. "Oh, Legolas, look at this new hairspray; I found it over there in the corner. It's called "Rad" isn't that so new and up to date?" He layered it over his long blond-white hair as he watched his son.
"Adar, that's not rad, it's called Raid! I put it there so that you could kill the Giant Spiders; it's from the world Fandoms come from!" He began coughing incessantly, bending over to get beneath the fumes.
Thranduil paused, lowering the spraycan. Absently he dropped it, blinking twice. And then, with an uncomfortable noise that sounded suspiciously like a nervous giggle, he strode across his carpets and opened his door. "Galion, draw my bath!" he shouted into the hall. Then, he moved back across the room to another door. He closed it carefully behind himself.
Legolas waited, wondering what had just taken place and if he'd really seen what he thought he'd seen. Then, abruptly, the door opened and Thranduil leaned around it. "That was for lice; never let it be said that your Ada didn't know what he was doing!" He slammed the door loudly in his wake. Legolas blinked.
A muffled scream came from the other side.
"Adar, are you all right?" Legolas moved a step toward the door, wondering if he should stay or leave.
"Oh, yes, fine, completely fine! You may leave now!"
Legolas glanced at the spraycan on the floor. Shrugging dismissively, he walked forward, picked it up, and looked at the instructions. It said nothing about dangers regarding using it as hairspray, except that it should be kept out of the eyes (Ada was very good about keeping hairspray off of anything that wasn't hair) and to wash thoroughly with soap and water after use, because it could be the cause of skin reactions.
"At least he read the warnings, then," the Prince decided, returning the can to the corner and leaving the room.
Outside, Tauriel watched as Galion hurried passed, fluffy white towels and bath soaps in hand. "Must tend to the King besides everything else! Of course, Your Majesty, I'll be happy to draw you a bath! What else shall I do? Prostrate myself at your feet and say that my life is nothing if I am not your slave?" the butler muttered.
She looked up when Legolas exited his father's chambers. "I sense that you didn't speak of what you'd come to converse about?" she queried, lifting an eyebrow.
"No, I instead ended up regaling Adar about the finer points of hairspray."
A/N:
I own none of this (naturally), but I also don't own the idea for this vignette either; my brother thought it up completely. I'm simply sharing it with all of ya'll. So, tell me what you think and there may be more (if I can get my brother to conspire with me). Eryniel Alasse created the words Merhína Indil for me. They mean "Mary Sue" in Elvish.
WH