Author's Note: Okay, friends! First off ,sorry I've been almost gone for so long. All I can say is, we had a cancer problem in the family and issues and stuff. Plus, I'm a teacher. CHILDREN! *Ahem* Sorry. Now then, here is what many of you lovelies asked for. It's a story about a heart to heart with Gohan and Goku. I tried REALLY HARD, but I feel I didn't do the character's themselves justice. Also, please forgive editing errors. I just switched laptops and upgraded to the new windows. It's a learning process still. However, I hope you can at least enjoy this story. Once again, thank you so much for reading and enjoying my writing.
A Father's Heart
There are few things which can rouse me from a solid slumber. Many of my family's friends say I am nothing like my father, but they either aren't looking close enough or haven't been around me at dinner or bed time. I can eat just as much as my full blooded Saiyan father, especially if I have been studying a lot or fighting. It is also terribly easy for me to slip off to dreamland if I'm not actively focusing my mind or body on a task, and once I am asleep, it's difficult to awaken me. However, there is one sound which, no matter how soft or muffled, I will always hear and awaken to. It's a sound I have had to hear far too much in my life.
The soft sniffle and shuddering gasp of someone crying jolted me from the comfort of sleep into instant wakefulness. Sitting up, I blinked around, unable to recognize where I was for a moment. These weren't the walls of my bedroom. For a moment, panicked confuses threatened me. I have a few too many memories from my youth of waking up in strange places with dangerous men for me to take waking up somewhere different easily. Then it clicked. Last night, we'd pulled the furniture aside and laid out blankets so we could all sleep together on the living room floor in celebration of my father's resurrection.
Hearing the wet huff of breath again, I turn. In the pile of blankets next to my own little nest of sheets, mother clings to my father, weeping silently into his chest. For a moment I think she's awake and crying over having him home, but upon closer inspection, I see that her eyes are still shut and she is whimpering from whatever images she is seeing in her nightmare. I have a pretty good idea what is causing her to weep. It's usually the same culprit every time I see her like this, after all.
After Father decided to stay dead to protect us, Mom spent so many nights crying herself to fitful slumber and waking up with puffy eyes and wet cheeks. And each time she woke up at night to cry, I would wake up, too, and try to comfort her as best my child self could. Those had been painful times. I don't think Mom slept through an entire night without crying until a year or so after Dad's death, and even then it was a fitful rest at best. Out of all of us, she took Father's choice the hardest. She often blamed herself, saying that if only she had been more understanding and less demanding, he may have made a different choice. For my mother, Father was her world. Her whole life revolves around keeping a home for the one she loved, providing meals and comfort so he could go chase whatever fighting dream caught his fancy. To have that taken away so suddenly, it's no wonder she couldn't sleep at night. Finding out about Goten helped, but…
"You're still crying about Dad, Mom?" I mutter to myself, reaching over to pull the blanket at her waist up to her shoulders. I can't help it; I've been looking after my mother for seven years by myself now.
"She cried over me?" At the innocently asked question, my body unintentionally stiffens. Though I love the owner of the voice more than is possible to explain, I can't stop the reaction. For years, I haven't heard it, and to have him speaking so softly now is just… it takes a little getting used to. I'm still half convinced I'm dreaming his revival. After all, I myself bore witness to his demise. The thought sends pain through my heart, so I push it aside. This isn't the time.
Looking over, I meet his warm dark eyes. As always, the depth of innocence and strength in that noble gaze rocks me. Looking into his eyes is always like that. He has the kindest heart of any living being I have ever met, and yet such strength, too. And not just of the physical kind, either, also mental and emotional strength. I don't think any of our friends, or even my Mom, understand just how strong my father is. I mean, they know he can punch through solid steel and all that, but I'm talking about his emotional strength.
He is well aware that his existence is what keeps every thinking they can survive. He knows he is the hope everyone leans on, and yet he accepts it with a smile despite the weight that must be to carry. Despite all the times his body has been destroyed by an enemy, as soon as one of his friends calls for him, he stands up again with that same gentle smile. That is his kindness, I guess. But it is his core, and what makes him so great. All of his strength is tempered by kindness, and no other can match that. He is an amazing man, one I look up to and admire more than anyone else in the world. And somehow, he's my Dad. I don't know how I got to be so lucky.
"Of course she did, Dad. She loves you, you know. We all do." I whisper sharply, mindful of those still sleeping. Father's denseness is sometimes a little annoying. I seriously don't understand how he can't see how loved he is. Both Mom and Goten are glued to my father in their sleep. Mom is clinging because her rock, her anchor, is finally home. She probably doesn't want to let go, in case he disappears. Goten is just doing it because he's a clingy sleeper; he always ends up plastered against me when we sleep together in our room at night. His face is happy and peaceful, as it should always be. Poor little guy. He's had a rough couple of days
My father follows my gaze to Goten. Smiling, he ruffles his youngest child's hair before gently sliding his arm under the little body splayed out across his stomach. With a surprising amount of skill, he manages to lift Goten without waking him up. Smoothly he deposits the boy on the pile of blankets at his side, tucking the covers around Goten before leaning over to lightly kiss the tousled head.
I've… never seen my father being a Dad before. I have the experience of it, since I can still recall how often he took care of me when I was little, but seeing it is something else. This tenderness isn't something I associate with him. When I think of my father, I think warrior, Saiyan, and training. I don't think caring father. But I should. I really should know the best just how much he cares. A father's heart is a precious thing, and I know just how big my dad's is. I know just how much he is willingly to sacrifice to protect someone he loves. After all, I saw –
Swallowing hard, I cut that thought off quickly. There is no reason for me to darken what is supposed to be happy times. Dad is back to life now. While I struggle to get a grip on myself, my father starts to rub Mom's back, his touch so gentle and careful that I have to advert my eyes. I feel like I'm intruding.
I've heard Bulma musing before if Father even knows how to be a proper husband to Mom outside of the bedroom. Honestly, for someone so smart, she can be a little dense sometimes. While my Father isn't the best at social interactions, and is actually a little stunted emotionally – probably a scar left over from being raised in the woods by Great-Granddad and then left all alone for who knows how long after that – he feels more deeply than any of our friends. Where do they think I got my gentle side from? It certainly wasn't my mother. And to be absolutely honest, I believe that my Dad is even more softhearted than I am. I mean, just look at him now with Mom.
"Chi-Chi, honey. Hey, Chi-Chi. Come on, babe, it's alright. Wake up." Dad calls to her in a voice I only ever hear him use with Mom. It's subtle, but in his tone when he speaks to her, I can hear just how much he loves and cherishes her. She is his heart, the core of his strength. I know, if something were to ever happen to my mother, nowhere in this universe would safe from the retribution my father would unleash. I guess it's a good thing all of the enemies who have come after Dad are just fighting idiots. If any of them had noticed Mom's importance to him and gone after her instead of Dad, they may have actually stood a chance. I know from firsthand experience that Dad is reckless when protected those he cares about. For Krillin, a close friend, he gave into blinding rage and became a Super Saiyan for the very first time. That was terrible enough, but what he did for me, his son… I swallow hard. I need to forget all that, and let it go.
Mom stirs gently, her grip on my Father's white shirt not loosening at all as she sits up. Rubbing at her messy face, she sighs and hangs her head, resting her forehead against Father's shoulder. Dad easily supports her weight leaning on him, probably not feeling it as he runs his hand down through her hair in a soothing gesture I recognize. Whenever Mom got truly upset when I was a child, not just her worried flighty angry upset, but actually, honest to Kami upset, Dad would always calm her by holding her close and stroking her hair. The fact that he so naturally and easily does it again, after being away from us for seven whole years, warms me to my core.
"Goku… sorry. I shouldn't be crying." She whispers thickly. Dad chuckles a little and wraps his arms around her, falling onto his back. She sprawls over him, head flying up as she flushes in startled embarrassment. "Goku! The – the kids!" She hisses, eyes darting over to me guiltily.
"Oh, come on, Chi-Chi! It's alright." Dad says lightly, knocking his forehead against hers as he stares adoringly into her eyes. His voice deepens, becoming more somber as he speaks again. "Besides… you should never apologize for crying. It's alright." They stare at one another silently, the love they hold in the tenderness of their touches and the devotion in their eyes.
I grin at the scene. It is one I saw often when I was still a very small child. I clearly remember sometimes coming home from my adventuring around the house with Icarus to find my parents laying close together on the couch, tenderly touching or just silently holding one another. They'd always spring apart as soon as I came in, Mom usually flying into a rage while Dad just laughed, but I always loved it. I loved seeing that my parents adored one another. Those little scenes vanished almost entirely after – I stop those thoughts. Enough, me. Let it go. I clench my jaw and try to relax my suddenly tight muscles.
"Chi-Chi, I'm going to take Gohan and go walk about until breakfast." Dad's words make me glance up sharply, catching his dark eyes on me. Mom frowns, shifting atop him.
"Just Gohan? But, Goten would love to go with you." She says, absently reaching over and running her fingers through my little brother's dark hair. That kid… he can sleep through anything, just like me and Dad.
"I know. But for now, I want to go with Gohan. That is, if you're okay with that, Gohan?" Dad suddenly asks me, furrowing his brows as he just now thinks to ask. I stifle my laugh. It's such a Father thing to do.
"I'd like that. It'll be like old times, huh?" I say, rolling to my knees and quickly folding my set of sheets and blankets so Mom doesn't have too.
"Yup. Hopefully, though, you won't get lost or wonder off the edges of some cliffs or anything." Hearing the mirth in my Dad's voice, I smile at him.
"Daaad, really! That's embarrassing, and I was four." I tease back, neatly stacking my pile up and standing. Turning back, I catch some look passing between my parents, a silent conversation I can't read. My Mother nods and gently cups Dad's cheek before she gets off of him and wearily climbs to her feet. Reaching back, she absently starts to roll her hair, preparing to put it up in a bun as she walks towards the bedroom.
"Fine. I'll get started on breakfast. Be back in two hours or I'll let Goten eat it all." She tells us before slipping away to start her day. I feel a little guilty, leaving her to do all the cooking by herself while watching Goten (it's never an easy feat to keep that little guy in check, even for me) but the idea of getting to go hang out with Dad again, just us, is too enticing. I can't resist.
"I'll meet you out front, Gohan." He calls, following Mom to go change. Knowing him, probably into a training outfit of some kind. I can't imagine this little trip not involving some sort of training. That is, after all, the epicenter of Dad's whole existence. And truthfully, it'll be fun to spar with him again, now that the world is not in danger of being destroyed by any monsters or anything. The last time we did that for fun was probably before Raditz showed up. After that, it was Mr. Piccolo, killer Frieza, killer Androids and more, one right after another for years. I frown at that dark turn in my thoughts again, shaking my head to dislodge it. I'm having a lot of trouble with that recently. Maybe it's Father's return? No, no. I shouldn't blame my issues on others. Still, I need to just focus on the joy of having him back now.
I hurry back to my room, pulling on my training outfit just in case and dashing outside. He's already beaten me out, going through gentle warm ups in the pre-dawn air. I hang back a moment, watching him. I frown when I see him tense up and stop his stretch, raising a hand to rub at his shoulder.
"Dad, are you alright?" I ask, trotting out to him. He turns to me and rubs at the back of his neck, grinning sheepishly.
"Yeah. I'm a little sore after yesterday's fighting, that's all. And, I don't know… sleeping on the floor hurt my back, I think. I used to do it all the time, though. I must be getting old." He admits, blushing a little. I laugh outright at that. He hasn't aged a day since he died, and anyway, I don't think it was the floor that hurt him. Goten sleeping on his stomach probably did that. He's a little guy but he gets heavy after a while. I'm just glad it wasn't me he was squishing this time.
"Anyway, let's go!" Dad says, suddenly sprinting towards the forest. I dash after him, following his movements as he nimble dodges around trees and chooses the steepest hills as we run to really stretch our limbs. He also keeps gradually increasing the speed until we are flat out booking it through the forest and up the mountains. I haven't run like this, for ages. In recent years, if I need to go anywhere, I either take Nimbus or I fly myself. I forgot how much fun using my own legs is.
Dad leads me to an open field high up in the mountains. It's a beautiful location, filled with flowers and a crystal clear lake, but not one suitable for sparring. Given that is normally what we do when we go out for walks, I can't understand why he would choose here of all places to be our next location. There are plenty of wonderful training spots scattered around these mountains and he should know where most of them are, even after seven years away. Confused, I slide to a stop at his side. He isn't even winded as he turns to me. I'm expecting his usual carefree grin, but instead, his eyes are serious and somber. Which are two things my father rarely, if ever, is. I feel a little trepidation.
"Okay, sit." He orders, pointing to the ground. I do as I am told, crossing my legs as he plops down across from me. For a long moment, all he does is stare at me, but then he suddenly reaches out and puts both his hands on my shoulders.
"Gohan, we need to talk."
I blink. What? But my father's serious expression never waivers. He continues to stare at me, hands warm as he holds me by my shoulders. He must sense my absolute confusion, because he sighs and drops his hands, posture slouching as he slumps over and braces his arms on his bent knees.
"Okay, I know I'm not the brightest man around, but I know you, Gohan. You're upset, and I'm most likely the cause. Are you… are you angry at me? " Before Dad can even finish his question, I'm shaking my head.
"No! Dad, no! How could you think I'm angry at you?" I shout, my words spilling out of me. Dad lifts his head, and I'm shocked to see sorrow in his eyes.
"You should be. Because of me, you've gone through terrible things. Chi-Chi and you both have, but you especially. At least Chi-Chi was safe. You were always thrown into the thick of danger because of me. Usually, by me." Dad whispers, his voice breaking a little as he looks away.
I can't believe what I am hearing. I've never seen him so eaten up before. For him, I always thought the past is the past, and he just forgot about it and moved on to become stronger. Worrying about what ifs or what may have been is a waste of his time and energy, and nothing ever really seems to get to him that much anyway. He can take anything in stride, or so I assumed.
Seeing him now, though, hearing the pain in his voice and being faced with the slight tremble of his body, I know I am wrong. Dad does care about the past. He does lament his choices, berate himself for mistakes, and is hurt by them. Actually, he appears to internalize his emotions and carries them with him. He keeps all his pain, all his doubts and fears, to himself. To the world, he shows only his smile.
"Dad…" I trail off, unable to think of anything to say. Faced with such raw emotion, what am I supposed to do? What can I do? I don't want father to hurt anymore, but… now that I think about it, we have more than seven years' worth of unsaid things between us. If we are to truly be happy again, a family again, then it's time we share them. I'm shocked he noticed, when I didn't even myself, until now. Then again, while book smarts aren't Dad's thing, he is attuned very closely with those around him and notices the smallest change. He's perceptive. I draw in a deep, shuddering breath, uncertain where or even how to start.
"I'll listen to whatever you want to say, Gohan. No matter what it is. You find the words. I'm not going anywhere." Dad's voice is soft, but firm. He's resolved himself to bare whatever I throw at him, no matter how painful it is. The courage he shows is what finally breaks the damn I've built to hold all these feelings back.
"I… I – I have never been angry at you, Dad, but I have been frustrated and sad about things for a long time." I admit softly, feeling my throat choke the words to an almost indistinguishable garble. "For the first part of my life, I had a loving Mom and an awesome Dad who I believed could do anything. Then, you died to save me from Raditz and I was taken away from everything I knew. My life felt like it was in ruins, and I didn't know what to do. It was a struggle just to survive, what with Piccolo's Spartan training. I'm thankful for it now, but still, it was hard."
"I didn't understand why Daddy didn't save me, when he had every other time before in my life." I can almost feel his flinch as I speak, but I don't dare look at Dad. I'm afraid that if I see his face right now, I won't be able to continue and this needs to be aired. I've held it in far too long already.
"Even though Piccolo told me you'd died but were coming back, I didn't care about that. I just wanted my Daddy. I was so happy when you showed up to save us from Vegeta, Dad, but then I had to watch you get beaten almost to death again. And then I go on a space adventure to get dragon balls to save everyone and run into Frieza and – " I shake my head and stop talking. I don't know how to put this in a way he can understand. Words aren't exactly Dad's strong point.
"My Super Saiyan transformation must've been terrifying, Gohan. I'm sorry you had to see that." Dad whispers, catching me by surprise. He noticed? I thought I hid it pretty well.
Many horrible things happened at that moment. Of course Krillin's death was terrible, but the thing that has always struck me the most, the thing that haunts my memory, is the absolute rage which overtook Father. I didn't recognize him, at all. Throughout all his fights before, he's always maintained his gentle soul. No matter what opponent he faced before, I could recognize my gentle, loving Dad as he fought them. He never lost his heart in a fight. It left when he transformed and I saw the true monstrous power of a Saiyan for the first time. And yes, it terrified me. I was a child and seeing something like that isn't easy to forget. I still haven't forgotten. Even now, I know that rage lies buried deep inside me, my Dad, and my brother, and that worries me. It's part of why I don't like to fight seriously. I don't want that power to come out of me or anyone. And looking at him now… I think Dad knows.
I'm astonished, but then again, he had to actually go through that rage himself. And it probably scared him, too. For all his flightiness and jokes, Father is always someone in very tight control of himself. What he did to his Grandpa haunts him still, and he has sworn to never let himself get lost in power like that again. When he transformed that first time, I remember he wanted to get me as far away from him after he transformed as he could. In all my life, that is the one and only time I can ever remember my Dad raising his voice at me, ever. It was probably to protect me from himself. Always, always, Dad thinks of other's first.
"It's alright. I was already a terrified mess then, so a little more fear wasn't going to hurt me. It's thanks to seeing your rage that I know the true reason you stayed on Yardrat for so long, and was able to stand that absence." I say, trying to confirm something I have always suspected. My father is a martial arts genius and although ki energy and all its uses isn't his strong point (that being Vegeta's advantage over him, actually) he can learn new techniques fast. Like with the Kamehameha Wave or the Spirit Bomb, it wouldn't have taken him more than a few months to master Instant Transmission. I've always thought that Father stayed away until he could master himself as a Super Saiyan so he wouldn't hurt his family.
"I was trying to control myself, and let me tell you, it wasn't easy. I think I blew up three mountain ranges and caused a few craters on Yardrat before I even got close to handling myself. They named one of those craters after me, you know, filled it with water and everything. Lake Goku, they called it. Terrible for fishing, but it was nice to swim in, at least." Dad's voice is strained but he still attempts to lighten the air. I appreciate it, but I can't share in his mirth. Not right now.
"I thought as much, so I didn't mind when you stayed away. However, when Trunks showed up and told us about the Androids, you just jumped right back into the fight. For two years, I hadn't had my Dad, the one who took me fishing, and I wanted that. I needed it. I just had to confirm that you were really alive again, and still the you of my youth. I wanted to know that after all we'd been through, we could go back to normal life. Or, a normal life for us. Yet you took me training instead, and I never got closure for that first death. Life was all about getting prepared for the worst. And then… Cell." I can barely stand to say that name. Even now, after all these years, Cell still casts such a big shadow over my life.
My dad winces and closes his eyes. "Gohan … I forced you to fight him. I knew you dislike violence, that you didn't enjoy a good battle the way I do, and yet I made you fight him." He groans, dropping his head as he shifts on the ground, almost prostrating himself in front of me.
"I would've fought regardless. I don't like fighting, unless it's for sport or fun, but I won't stand aside and let a monster destroy my home either. That's… not the problem. You died for me, again, Dad. I have been the cause of your death twice. I hate myself more than anything for that. You had such hopes for me and I was the cause of your death. It's like I killed you myself, and I can't stand it. I've done nothing but disappoint you and let you down my entire life. I'm never strong enough to defend this world, even when you trusted me and left it in my care. Majin Buu would've been handled without Earth getting blown up, too, if only I were the son you wanted. I'm… I'm nothing but a disappointment." There. I have finally said it. The secret I have kept inside for all these years, and I have spoken it aloud to the one person I swore to never admit it to.
I duck my head and close my eyes, clenching my fists. The burden of this has been crushing me for years. Maybe this is the true reason why I wear a disguise as I go around saving people as the Great Saiyaman. I don't want the world to know I am Goku's son because I'm not worthy of that honor. I can't follow in the footsteps of a true hero. I'm not one. I hide who I actually am at school not because I'm nervous they might think I'm weird, but because I am ashamed of myself. I wear a mask and adopt a different persona because of this self-hatred. Dad is a great man. I am not.
Hard arms wrap around me, pulling me into a chest as solid as the earth. Familiar warmth surrounds me, as Dad squeezes me painfully tight. I may be taller than him now, I may almost be an adult, but feeling my father hug me like this reduces me to a child in an instant. These hard arms are the safest and most comforting place in the entire world, and have been since my birth. I tremble a little and breath in rapid, shallow gasps to try and control the sudden urge to cry that overtakes me.
"Gohan, no! Don't ever think like that, ever. Don't hate yourself for anything. You are a wonder, the best parts of me and your mom, and – Gohan, please. Don't feel that way, please." Dad holds me tighter, and I can feel his body shaking. Hearing the panic in his voice, feeling the anxiety my words have caused, overwhelms me. I can't take it any longer.
I start crying.
I haven't cried since he died, at all. I couldn't. I had to be strong for Mom and Goten. And not only them, but the other Z Fighters, too. Dad was always the hope, their strength, and with him gone, they all automatically turned to me to fill his shoes. So I pretended and acted strong for them, and I've been acting for years. But now, I can't end the tears. They just flow out of me without stop.
"But, I got you killed." I manage to get those words out through the tears.
"Gohan, I would die a million times each day without hesitation if it meant you'd be safe. I'm you father. What parent wouldn't sacrifice everything for their child?" He argues, releasing me enough to conk his forehead against mine. His eyes are wet, but he isn't crying. He smiles, that beautiful and innocent smile no one else in the universe has, and pulls me against him again.
"I made the choice to die both times, Gohan, and I would again. Never ever blame yourself for something I did willingly. Neither incident was your fault. I was the one not strong enough. After I died the second time, I… I did regret it. I've regretted so much. Leaving you and your Mom, making you fight, everything. But I have never regretting dying for you. Never. So please, son… don't hate yourself. I have never been anything but proud of you." I can hear the truth ringing in Dad's voice.
"How, Dad? How can you say that? I don't fight." I ask, confused. I know Dad's life revolves around fighting and has since he was a baby, so how can I still be someone to be proud of when I have made the choice to not fight? I'm a pacifist, for Kami's sake! That's almost like a slap in the face to someone as powerful and talented as him.
Letting out a big sigh, Dad lets me go and lays back in the grass, arms behind his head. His posture is completely relaxed, but his face is still etched with a trace of sadness. "You feeling this way is mostly my fault, since I made it seem like the only thing to love about you is your enormous innate fighting potential. I'm sorry about that."
I open my mouth to speak but he holds up a hand, cutting me off. "Hey, it's my turn to talk now. Gohan, I won't lie to you. Am I sad that you've chosen not to utilize your gift for fighting? Yes, I am. You could be even stronger than me if you tried just a little. But disappointed? Never. You are an amazing young man. Look at all you have managed to do in your life! And you are so smart, much smarter than me. That's a talent of yours as well, so if you want to use that one instead of the fighting one, I'll support you all the way." He looks over at me and grins.
"Besides, Chi-Chi always said that she was going to make a Scholar out of you, and you know that nothing in this universe can stop your mother from getting what she wants." He teases, smiling gently at me. A watery chuckle breaks out of me and I feel my tension start to melt away. He really is like an angel. He just makes people happy by being around. Following Dad's example, I lay back on the grass, staring up at the rapidly brightening sky.
"Yeah." I agree, knowing exactly how stubborn and unstoppable my mother is. Not even Father can stand against her, and he's the strongest fighting in the universe. Still, there is some comfort in the knowledge that my parents balance each other out. Dad's strength is tempered by Mother, and Mother's craziness is trimmed back by Father. They really are the perfect pair.
"Gohan, can you forgive me?" Dad suddenly asks, breaking into my thoughts. I frown, uncertain.
"For what?" I ask. I thought we already covered the big issues with our talk just now.
"Well, a lot of things, really. But, mostly, can you forgive me for what I did to you and your Mom? For leaving and dying and all the rest? Just, can you forgive me?" I hear a waiver in Dad's voice that I've never noticed before. Normally, he is confidence itself, never doubting anything. To hear him so uncertain and nervous just breaks my heart. How long has he been carrying this guilt around? Well… probably about as long as I have been dragging mine with me. We are truly father and son.
"Only if you can forgive me for all I've done. For not being strong enough and stuff." I tell him. Dad sits up and looks over at me with a stern face.
"Don't say that, Gohan. I don't care about it at all."
Smiling, I sit up as well and turn my hand up at him. "Exactly."
"Huh?" Dad furrows his brows, trying to figure out what I'm saying. I giggle at the expression. I've seen it on Goten's face a thousand times before. It's truly amazing how much my little brother takes after Dad. Even his expressions are the same, and he's never met Dad to mimic them. DNA and genetics are certainly interesting things and they may have contributed to this strange phenomenon, but I think that a big part of it may be the Saiyan blood lineage. I've been wanting to check into that for a while, now actually. I'll have to talk with Vegeta, too, to get more information on full blooded Saiyans for comparisons.
"Oh! I get it." Dad suddenly exclaims, looking over at me and laughing, rubbing the back of his head. The actions is as familiar to me as the back of my hand. Seeing it again makes me smile.
"Wow, I'm dense, aren't I? It doesn't matter, does it? How'd you turn out to be so smart with a Dad like me?" He asks, easily admitting his faults. Dad isn't dumb or oblivious like most of our friends assume. He is very acute and aware. He just prefers things to be simple. If he doesn't understand, and doesn't need too, then he won't pursue a matter. It's a waste of his time and energy to have to constantly try to understand everything around him. His outlook and attitude reflect his early, simplistic upbringing.
"Mom." I answer him. He nods in agreement. We both know who the smartest one in that marriage is. Not that he minds; Dad is perfectly content to let Mom handle all the budgeting and financing for our family. He just provides in whatever way he can.
"Seriously, Gohan, it's a wonder you've turned out as well as you have. Your dad is a crazy alien warrior and your mom a crazy human princess." Dad teases, easily making fun of himself and Mom. I grin, turning my face back to the warming sky. My heart feels so much lighter now than it has in ages. Almost as if I am a new man now. I've been denying my guilt and fears for so long that I became blind to them, but the weight was dragging me down nonetheless. Dad has easily freed me from those shackles and I have to say, it feels amazing.
"So, since we've cleaned the air and all, you feel up for a little sparring match? Just a small one; we both got worked over by Buu, and I'm still adjusting to being alive again." Dad looks at me with sparkling eyes, so excited at the prospect of trading blows with me. I can't deny him. I've never really been able to.
I smile. "Sure. But how about we go get Goten and use the training area next to the house? Breakfast is likely almost ready." I suggest. Dad starts to drool at the thought of eating Mom's cooking again and eagerly nods his head, jumping to his feet and starting to do lunges. He always starts his warm ups the same way. It's endearing, to say the least. Even being dead haven't changed the habits of his lifetime of experience.
"Alright! Race you back home!" Shooting me a challenging grin, he bounds off quickly, going full speed from the start. I jump after him, pushing myself hard to keep up. Speed is one of my main advantages in most fights, but when Dad really puts an effort into it he is freakishly fast for a man of his build. I mean, he's ripped!
We're neck to neck as we approach the house, both of us giving it our all as we run. I glance over at Dad with a grin, loving how he is unable to stop his smile from spreading across his face as he gives one last burst of speed and slides into the training yard two steps ahead of me. I slow down and bend over, hands on my knees as I try to catch my breath.
"Dad, seriously, what kind of training have you been doing? I used to at least be as fast as you." I whine a little, knowing the fault probably lies with me and my lack of motivation these past seven years rather than his training, but still, I am interested to hear about his life in Otherworld.
I've never asked about it when Mom can hear. It only upsets her to think about her husband being dead, and I respect that. But at the same time, I know we are all going to die someday, and I have an expert in dying with me. Well, not dying per se, but more like the process of Otherworld. I want to know all about it, what it is like and how being dead works. I know most people don't get to train for eternity, that it a privilege given only to heroes like Dad. He kept his body for the same reason. I doubt he knows much about regular spirits and how that works. But I still want to know. Dad must have seen normal spirits and stuff a thousand times while he was there. Hopefully he's picked up on some details.
"Oh, nothing too special. I mean, I was on the Grand Kai's planet and all, and there were some really awesome fighters there to spar with like Pikkon, but the Grand Kai wouldn't train me. I wasn't ready. So mostly I did my normal training with King Kai. Of course, once I found out I could ascend to Super Saiyan 3 I wanted to work on that the most, but when I did I disrupted the energy of Otherworld, so the Kai's got mad at me and made me take breaks from doing that." Dad rambled, falling into more stretches. I mimic him, working the tightness out of my muscles as I listen to him talk.
"Whenever the people in Hell acted up, I'd go put them back in their place. I can't tell you how many times I've had to beat up Frieza and Cell. Those two will never learn. Sometimes, I'd run the length of Snake Way to really get a good warm up in. I'd talk to the demons and spirits along the way. Most people who die and go down Snake Way don't have bodies, so seeing mine is always a little shocking for them." Dad stops and tilts his head. "Anything else?"
"Is being a great fighter the only way to keep your body after you die?" I ask. Though I admire and respect those who fight to protect, it does seem to be segregation against a great number of wonderful people. Dad shakes his head and rubs his neck.
"Nah, it's just that most of those who have bodies are fighters. I met a few with bodies who didn't fight, though. There was this one guy, he's amazing. He stopped his planet from being destroyed by violent aliens without violence. He's super smart. You'd like him a lot, I bet." Finishing his stretching, Dad rubs his hands together and winks at me.
"I'll tell you whatever you want later, but right now… Goten! Hey, Goten, come on out here, little guy!" Dad's shout is pretty loud as he yells towards out house. My little brother probably knew we were back already, but I suspect Mom may have been keeping him inside. I know how close my parents are, and if Dad noticed that I needed to talk, then so did Mom. I recall that look they shared this morning and sigh. They set me up good.
At Dad's shout, though, I heard a loud thump from inside the house, and then the front door bangs open. Out charges little Goten. He runs straight for Dad, face lit up with joy as he leaps towards him. Dad easily catches his youngest child, swinging the boy up onto his shoulders. I smile at the sight, recalling when I used to perch there when I was little, feeling like I was on top of the world.
"Daddy, Mom's making a huge breakfast, and she says that if we are really good, after she's done packing lunch, she'll come join us when we go fishing! It'll be a family picnic. I love picnics! We are still going, right, Daddy?" Goten asks in a rush, tugging on Dad's hair as he leans over to look at his face.
Laughing, Dad smiles. "Of course, Goten! I did promise, after all. Now then, Gohan and I were going to have a friendly little sparing match. Do you want to watch? When we're done, I can have one with you." Dad's offer makes Goten's eyes go wide.
"Really, Dad, you'll really spar with me?" He asks, breathless.
"Sure. I saw your match with Trunks at the tournament, and it was amazing. Your Mom's been doing a great job with your training, and I'm proud of all of you." Goten's smile at Dad's praise is bright as the sun. Seeing it, Dad ruffles his youngest child's hair. "There is a limit to what your mom can teach, though. She's not a Super Saiyan. I'll take over your training from now on. Sound good?"
Goten jumps off Dad's shoulders and starts flying in ecstatic loops. "That's amazing! If I train with you, then I'll be stronger than Trunks, finally! After all, Daddy, you're stronger than Trunks' dad, right, so I'll be stronger by training with you?"
"Hmm, no, I'm not. Vegeta and I are about equal in strength." Dad says, making me and my brother both freeze and look at him like he's lost his mind.
"But, but, you can turn Super Saiyan 3, and he can't." Goten points out.
"True, but that really doesn't matter much. In the end, it's not a practical transformation." Dad's grin is sheepish as he admits that. I do agree with him. Though he gains unimaginable power with the change, it takes a lot of energy to accomplish. In a normal fight, it's more trouble than its worth, especially when Dad's skill in his normal Super Saiyan state and his ascended form are incredible enough. Against monsters like Buu, the third form may be necessary, but there aren't many enemies of that level in the universe. For most other battles, it's just a gratuitous waste of energy that could be better used defeating a foe. It's only natural for someone as talented at fighting as my father to recognize these limitations.
Taking that form out of the equation, it does seem to me that he and Vegeta are equals. For all of Dad's skills, his fighting style is one perfected on Earth; he learned from a human master who shaped his idea of martial arts. Even after he trained with Kami, a Namekian, and then later King Kai, he still kept those human basics in his heart. Those are the fundamentals he will never stray from. Vegeta, on the other hand, was trained much differently. I don't know if his style is one that all Saiyans are taught to use or if it is uniquely his own, but it focuses on different areas than the style Dad and I use. Not that one is better than the other. They both have their own strengths and weaknesses. It all adds together to make the two men pretty close to even in their battle for supremacy.
"So, I won't be stronger than Trunks if I train with you, Daddy?" Goten's face falls as he voices his fear, landing dejectedly in the middle of the training yard with his head down. Dad chuckles and kneels in front of the small boy, putting his hands on his shoulders.
"Goten, you can be as strong as you want to be. If you want to beat Trunks, make that your goal and work towards it. There is nothing you cannot achieve without hard work and dedication." Dad says. Goten instantly cheers up and hugs him. I just smile. For all his simplicity and naivety about life, Dad always understands the essentials.
"Okay! I promise that I'll work really really hard, so I'll finally be able to beat Trunks and be strong like you and Gohan." Goten swears, grinning from ear to ear.
"That's just what I need, another fighting fool in the family." We all stiffen automatically at Mom's dry tone. Fearfully, we turn to face the front door, left open in Goten's earlier frenzy to escape. She stands in the doorway, apron on, hair up and arms crossed. It's a look that I am familiar with. So is Dad. He shudders in fear and backs up a step when she marches out towards him. Grabbing the front of his training clothes, Mom pulls my much taller Father down to her level and glares into his face.
"Now you listen here, Goku, I don't mind if you train Goten, but you will also allow him to devote some times to his studies. He's not going to fall behind. I won't let him." She says, voice hard. Dad instantly bobs his head in agreement.
"Sure, sure, whatever you say, Chi-Chi!"
I put a hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing. No need to draw Mom's ire towards me, after all. It's just so hilarious that this man who can face down a monster capable of killing every living soul in the universe without blinking or feeling the slightest tremor of fear… is terrified of his very small human wife. I find the irony wonderful.
Mom smiles and let's Dad go. "Good. Then, how about this: You can train Goten in the morning, after breakfast. At lunch, he will do his studies, and whatever chores he has for the day. Only if he finishes both of those will he be able to join you and Gohan in your training in the evening when Gohan gets home from school." Mom nods as she lays out the schedule, liking it. Me, however, not so much.
"Me, train again!? But… I have tests!" I argue, feeling a little panicked. It's not that I don't want to spar with Dad again. I actually enjoy it, and the physical activity helps me think clearly. But, with all that I am doing as the Great Saiyaman and with school, I don't know if I'll have the time or energy to devote to Dad's version of a light spar for training.
"Yes, Gohan, you. I won't have my boy genius sitting around becoming a slob." She snaps, rounding on me with a steely look on her face.
I slump in defeat. There's no dissuading her when she looks like that. "Alright. Good grief, Mom and Videl are both so stubborn…" I mutter under my breath. I thought I spoke low enough that no one would hear me, but I forgot how animal-like all Dad's senses are.
"Apparently, Saiyan's are only attracted to stubborn and scary strong women." Dad jokes loudly, slapping me on the back. I about fall on my face, feeling heat crawling up my shoulders to my cheeks.
"Speaking of Videl, Gohan, when are you going to get married? You two aren't getting any younger, you know?" Mom latches onto the topic of Videl like a viper to its prey. I shoot Dad a look but he grins and shrugs at me. Way to weasel out of getting lectured about training schedules, there, Dad…
"Mom, Videl and I are still in high school – it's hardly the time to be thinking about m-marriage and we are just friends!" I defend, trying to usher her inside. She sighs dreamily and grabs Dad's arm instead, smiling.
"Didn't stop us." She croons. I groan and cover my face. I don't need a reminder. I've heard the story a million times already.
"And I think when we were on the Supreme Kai's world that you specifically called Videl your Girlfriend, didn't you?" Dad adds, enjoying seeing me so flustered. I glare at him.
"Only because you were offering her up to that old pervert like a fish on a platter!" I snap, still a little sore about him doing that. "Speaking of, does Bulma know she has to kiss that geezer? Will Vegeta even let her?"
Dad just smiles. Oh man, if Vegeta doesn't kill that pervy Elder Kai for daring to lay hands on his woman, then Bulma will. I'd rather not have to deal with the fallout from that. The thought alone is enough to make me queasy.
"I don't think I want to know the details behind this story. Anyway, boys, come on in. Breakfast is ready. When we're done, you boys can have your little matches and I'll pack lunch. Then we can go fishing." Mom announces. Goten cheers and hugs her legs. I'm just thankful the topic has moved to safer territories again.
"Finally, chow time!" Dad almost sings as he heads towards the house.
"Oh, wait, hold on. Dad, can I have a moment?" I ask, suddenly thinking of one more thing I need to clear with him before we can settle all the issues between us. He glances over his shoulder at me, then nods. Patting Mom on the back, he sends her and Goten inside before walking back out to me.
"What is it, Gohan?" He asks, concern in his dark eyes. I smile shyly.
"Oh, well… I just wanted to know what you thought about Videl, actually. I know Mom likes her, and Goten, well, he's fine with her. But I'd really like your opinion." I admit, ducking my head in sudden embarrassment.
His arm suddenly lands across my shoulders, once again nearly knocking me down. The man just doesn't realize his own strength sometimes. No, that's not right. He's always very careful with Mom and Goten. He just thinks I'm strong enough to handle his unchecked strength. Which, I guess, I am. But it still hurts and bruises.
"That's all? Phew, you had me worried there for a minute." He says, ribbing me good naturedly.
"I didn't mean to. It's just, I really respect your opinion and I wanna know." I say.
"Have you asked Piccolo, then?" Dad asks, dropping his arms and stepping away from me to swing his arms over his head in another stretch. "He's like another Dad to you, after all."
I admire and respect Piccolo. He is a fighter I really look up to, and someone who greatly shaped my life. Not only did he train me the basics of fighting, he taught me to rely upon myself, for the most part. I've had a few relapses. He is also a person I admire for the way he lives. He's unfailingly kind, not just to me, either. I know he worries a lot about our group of friends, and watches over them with Dende on the Lookout. But as much as I love Piccolo, it isn't the same as how I feel for my father. One is my Dad. The other is a lifelong best friend. Both are irreplaceable to me and very important, but different. Explaining that will take far too long. I don't even fully understand it myself, but I know it's true.
"Not yet. I'll ask him next." I say instead, knowing that Piccolo can probably hear what I'm saying anyway. I felt his energy fly closer a little earlier. He's probably checking to make sure everyone here is okay. We've all had a pretty rough couple of day's after all.
"Well, if you're sure. Let's see… I don't really know Videl very well, so I'm just going to say what I think. Is that alright?" Dad asks permission. I know very well how blunt he can be. The man has no tact, and can sometimes say things that hurt others without meaning to. However, I want his honesty. I nod and he smiles.
"Okay. First off, she's a very stubborn girl. I'd say that is her biggest fault. She refused to give up in the match at the Tournament, which lead to her getting hurt. She should've backed down." My gut clenches at the reminder. He isn't wrong to say that, though. I was furious with Dad at the time, when he wouldn't let me help and was holding back. But knowing now that the Supreme Kai made him, it's easy enough to forgive.
"She's also very easy to anger, but I think that's more insecurity than anything. Chi-Chi is the same way; she gets angry as a way of hiding her worries and fears. As the daughter of Mr. Satan, she's been raised to think he's the strongest but I think she knew, deep in her heart, that he is just a cowardly fool. So that made her feel lost. Adding to that, she has responsibilities as his daughter that are probably hard to handle." Dad once again hits the nail on the head. For someone who just met the girl, he sure is reading Videl's character pretty well. His perception is one of the sharpest things about him.
"All in all, I think she's a very nice girl. She genuinely cares about you." Dad glances over at me with a warm smile. "She was begging me to help you when those bastards took your energy. For such a proud girl, that says something. She refused to believe you were dead, after you were taken by the Supreme Kai to train, too. She has absolute faith in you, and loves you so much I don't think she knows what to do. So, Gohan, I like Videl. She's a good girl!" He grins as he finishes, truly happy for me.
I can only smile back. Hearing him praise Videl so much has made me feel loved, too. I know that he loves me and I understand just how proud of me he is now, but this really feels like acceptance. A girl I have picked, someone he doesn't know well and was admittedly a little rude to him at times, has earned his approval. That says a lot.
"Thanks, Dad." I whisper. He waves my words off.
"Anytime. Now, can we go eat? I'm starving!" He exclaims, holding his stomach. I laugh and we walk in together.
Mom has Goten by his belt, holding the struggling child away from the food. Once we come in, she lets him go and we all sit at the table piled high with copious amounts of food. We say our thanks and then dive into the feast. As I try to eat before my brother and Dad take it all, I can't help but feel like this is true happiness. Mom's laughing and smiling again, Goten is happy, and Dad is sitting at his spot at the table once again.
Catching my look, he puts his rice down long enough to reach over and ruffle my hair. It's just a small thing, nothing really elaborate, but that affectionate move shows more than anything how much love lies inside a father's heart.