Chapter 1

He crouched and looked to his left and right- sure his assailant was going to jump out from behind any corner, any minute now. He was prepared though. He closed his eyes and let his auditory senses alert him to the direction of the attack. He heard nothing. Maybe he'd met his match.

Then he heard the soft scrape of a shoe heel to his left. He turned to make a grab…

"GOTCHA," he yelled, wrapping his fingers around his assailant's tiny middle. His adversary dissolved instantly into a wriggling, squirming mass of giggles.

"No fair, Cap'in," Joshua complained lightly between his hiccupping laugh.

The little boy writhed and wiggled in Eliot's arms as the Hitter lifted him high.

"Eliot," Sophie's voice made him freeze.

He turned to see the Grifter approaching him purposefully.

"Oh, you're going to wrinkle his jacket," Sophie chided.

Eliot sighed and rolled his eyes, "Let the kid have some fun," his husky voice retorted. "I'm already confused as to why he has to go to that stuffy school anyway. He's three years old."

"Because," Sophie answered as she lowered Joshua and stooped to straighten his clothes, "it's the best rated Nursery system in Boston and it's a feeder program to the best Junior schools and we only want the best for this young man. Don't we?" she touched the tip of the little boy's nose with her finger before she kissed his cheek. He smiled shyly, a rosy blush tinting his face.

He looked up at Eliot self-consciously and Eliot winked conspiratorially.

"Okay, Skip," Eliot addressed the little boy whose clear, blue eyes opened wide, "I guess we should get ready to go huh?"

Joshua nodded his head slowly.

Eliot lightly ruffled the little boy's thick, wavy hair and winked at him playfully.

Joshua smiled and wandered off to find Sophie.

Eliot exhaled contentedly as he watched the little boy shuffle towards his mother.

Happiness. He felt it, or whatever the closest thing to happiness was for someone like him. A smile itched to curl his lips- a genuine, radiating from the inside, smile. Then just as quickly his stomach felt heavy and the hackles on the back of his neck rose.

It never failed. It was as though he was cursed. Whenever he began feeling happiness, true, peaceful happiness, the bottom would fall out. His life would be turned upside down- struck by some overwhelming horror.

The last time he felt joy- true, all-consuming joy, the flip side was nearly his undoing. He was young and in love, he was certain about his place in the world and where his allegiances were, and then the rug was pulled out from beneath him, leaving him forever broken.

Since that time happiness never truly settled with him. Peace was fleeting too, and he never let himself forget.

Lately though he'd had a hard time keeping perspective.

The team was back. They were all alive and safe. It was hard to simply gloss over his elation that their three year ordeal was over and act as though it was business as usual. They were back together; Nate, Sophie, Hardison, and Parker and now Joshua- the little boy he would have given his life to protect, was also a part of the mix. But he felt the nagging reminder that he should never get comfortable, that he should never be at full ease.

A hand on his shoulder tugged him out of his thoughts with a start. He spun to face Nate, who looked as uncomfortable in his suit as his young son.

"She got you too, huh?" Eliot looked at the suit Sophie insisted Nate should wear.

Nate grimaced and Eliot suppressed a laugh.

"The kid is three; there shouldn't even be suits his size in existence," Nate huffed and Eliot smiled.

"She means well," Eliot offered and Nate smiled slowly in spite of himself.

"Yeah, I know," Nate looked over to his new wife and the handsome little boy whose hair she was smoothing out, "It's just…"

"Different," Eliot finished and Nate nodded slowly, "yeah I know."

The two men fell into comfortable silence until a knock at the door called their attention.

Eliot tensed immediately- a matter of habit at this point.

Sophie peered through the peep-hole before she turned back to Nate and Eliot and waved her hand to reassure them as she opened the door.

"Little dude," Hardison's infectiously buoyant voice entered the room before he or Parker did.

Joshua smiled and ran towards the pair as they entered. He giggled as he was lifted into the air by Hardison, a gently smiling Parker a step behind them.

"Hi Parker," Sophie called softly as she reached to touch Parker, but she stopped herself.

They were back. They were all safe and alive but it was different. They were different.

"How's she doing," Eliot inquired softly when Hardison finally reached them. The three men turned to look discreetly at Parker as she and Sophie engaged in an uneasily casual conversation. It was almost painful to look on as they smiled at each other with anxious politeness. They were once as close as sisters. In that moment they chatted as barely sociable strangers.

Hardison sighed. "It's been five months," he began, "She's still getting maybe three hours of sleep every night, she's still waking up shaking, she's still checking the moulding for bugs every night….she's still afraid she's going to zone out and snap my neck or something."

Eliot expelled a slow breath. "Give it time, man," he encouraged softly, "we all have to give it time."

He looked pointedly at Hardison and could see the tension in his friend's shoulders. "And how are you doing?" He nodded to indicate toward Hardison's chest but the Hacker didn't have to follow his gaze to know what Eliot was referred to.

Hardison absently touched his chest, "I feel good." He took a deep breath as if to emphasize his healing, "the stitches still itch like hell sometimes and I still get a quick reminder if I overdo it with the stretching or working out, but I feel good."

Nate patted Hardison's back, "I'll say it again, it's just good that you're here."

"It's good that we're all here," Hardison corrected.

The three once again fell into an easy silence, all looking out the window.

"Has there been any word from Sterling," Eliot asked quietly, giving voice to the shapeless, niggling thought they were all trying to quell.

"I spoke to him a few days ago," Nate responded softly, leaning in so the other men could hear him clearly, "…still nothing concrete."

Eliot's brows furrowed at Nate's conspiratorial action.

"Soph made me promise no shop talk today," Nate answered the non-verbal question.

"And if I had bet you, I'd be getting my money right about now," Sophie called from across the room.

Nate cleared his throat and undid the top button on his shirt guiltily. Eliot and Hardison swallowed their laughter.

"It's time to leave," Sophie announced as she reached for Joshua's coat.

Nate scooped his nearly four year old son away from the blocks he'd been stacking and propped the playfully squirming boy against his chest as he walked over to Sophie.

Hardison walked back over to Parker and stood at her side. He gently bumped her upper arm with his and offered her a little smile. She smiled back. She understood that he was just 'checking in' and it made her feel safe. He wondered if the others noticed that she hadn't moved more than twenty steps into the house. It was another side effect of her PTSD; a new one that he'd only recently discovered. There were some places she wouldn't venture to far in to. Nate and Sophie's house was one of those places.

Eliot noticed it too.

He noticed that while Parker made sure she stayed close to the door in some places, Hardison never let her out of his sight and he was never more than twenty steps away from her.

He noticed too, that Sophie fussed and fixed and fought to make everything clean and perfect- all the time. And Nate no longer drank. Nate drank water and coffee- lots of coffee. And that was it. He was antsy too and not all of it was because of the caffeine.

It was odd. They were back but they were shadowed, shelled-out versions of themselves.

They were alive and safe…but different.

"Ready Cap'n?" Joshua's question tore Eliot out of his distant thoughts. The little boy's outstretched hand reached for him.

Eliot smiled down and took the boy's hand.

"I'm ready," he answered as he led them through the house, leaving the others behind. "But," he stooped so he and child were eye level, "are you ready for your first day of school?"

Joshua looked up earnestly and shook his head, no.

"Well, I'll tell you what, I think you're going to really love it at that school," he looked into Joshua's eyes with the utmost sincerity, "You're already the coolest kid I know. It's only a matter of time before you're the coolest kid there too."

Joshua smiled and Eliot ruffled his hair.

"Eliot," Sophie chastised, instantly pulling out her comb to smooth the little boy's unruly waves.

Eliot raised his hands in mock surrender and turned away to go ahead of the others on the three block walk to Joshua's new school.

He surveyed the parked cars as he went and peered into every doorway and alley.

It was something he noticed about himself. He had always been cautious but his wariness about his surroundings had escalated to the point that he didn't sleep or eat in peace. The others didn't know. They didn't need to know. He was the protector. It was his job to make sure they were safe.

He failed them once and it cost them three years of their lives.

There would not be a next time.