Every once and awhile Johan would notice Juudai become distant. His heart would grow cold and he'd push Johan to the side, only wanting to find comfort in Yubel. This used to hurt Johan, before he understood at least. Johan had threatened to leave multiple times, the argument with the duel spirit, ironically, the only thing that made him stay.
"How can you do this to me, Yubel?!" He yelled, his anger welling in his eyes in the form of tears. "You're taking him from me!"
"Johan." She started calmly. "I could never. You make Juudai eternally happy, and you know I could never destroy that happiness."
Johan looked behind her. Juudai was lying on the bed. His expression was blank, not even acknowledging his lovers arguing.
"Then why does he act like this?" His voice was pleading. "Why would he rather be with you?"
"He doesn't." She replied sadly. "Well Juudai doesn't, anyway."
"Then you are doing this to him!" He accused, pointing the finger of blame straight at her.
"No." She shook her head, remaining calm. "Well, not entirely."
His eyebrows knotted together. "What?"
She glanced at Juudai briefly, his stony expression ate at her heart, before turning her attention back to the bluenette. "You know Juudai is only one half of a complete heart, Haou being the other." Johan nodded his attention turning back to Juudai. Nothing Yubel told him was going to be news. Juudai rolled over, his back now facing the couple. "Even after all these years the bonds that hold it together are in fact fairly weak."
"But I thought Juudai gained control of Haou when he dueled you." This all wasn't making much sense to him. Yubel had only repeated well known facts to him.
"That's true." She confirmed. "But it's also true as soon as Juudai doubts himself Haou takes over." She reminded him.
Johan's attention snapped up to her. "What could he possibly doubt?" Yubel looked away, not wanting to reveal Juudai's secrets. "I know you know."
She nodded and sighed before looking back up at Johan. Juudai's secrets would always be safe with Johan. "He doubts his ability to be a good father."
Johan closed his eyes, his mind being flooded with pictures of his infant twins. "Why would he turn to you, we need to be able to trust each other as parents."
"Because." She paused looking for the right words. "He's Haou right now. And Haou will always choose me over you." She watched rejection consume the young man's face. "I'm sorry, Johan. Please understand."
His shoulders became tense, causing him to hunch over looking at the ground. "Yubel."
"Hm?"
"I need to talk to Juudai." He said quietly trying to disguise the hurt in his voice.
"Johan, I just told you that isn't Juudai."
"I know that." He sighed heavily before looking up at the spirit. His eyes were wet and glossy, but there were no tears. "But surely you can talk Haou into letting go of Juudai's conscience."
She nodded. Without saying a word she disappeared back into the depths of Juudai's mind.
Johan straightened himself and swallowed his fear. Juudai turned in the bed so he was once again facing Johan with closed eyes. Johan walked toward the bed and sat down next to him.
"Juudai." He began. He rain his thumb over Juudai's brow until his eyes fluttered open. His chocolate eyes were looking back at the bluenette instead of Haou's golden ones.
"Juudai!" Johan couldn't hide his relief that Yubel convinced Haou to let go.
The brunette smiled up at his husband. "Good to see you too, Johan."
Johan ran his fingers through Juudai's thick locks. He doesn't remember his possessions. "Juudai..." He looked away searching for the right words to say. Not that the answer was in the dirty laundry, anyways.
Juudai took Johan's hand from his hair and held it. He was worried the bluenette had only said his name to him. "What is it, Johan?"
Johan looked back at Juudai. "Yubel told me some things."
Juudai tensed up, squeezing Johan's hand. His eyes flickered gold for a moment before returning to their warm brown. Johan had betrayed Yubel's trust, causing her hold on Haou to slip.
"And you shouldn't doubt yourself." Johan spoke quickly, not thinking much as the words left his lips. Juudai was beginning to fall again; the stress etched deep into his face. "We're going to be the best parents, but I cannot do it alone."
Juudai's eyes grew big and vulnerable as he looked up at the bluenette. Tears filled them as his secrets came into the light. "I'm afraid I'll mess this up." Juudai confessed. The twins had become more aware of their surroundings. They'd coo, and roll over to get from place to place. Always curious, discovering new things about their world everyday. They had entered their most important stage in life. When nurture met nature head on. "I've screwed up a lot of lives, Johan, I can't screw this up." The tears began to course down his soft cheeks. A gold tinge sparked in his eyes. Johan gasped and wiped away the tears with his thumb.
"You won't." Johan promised, a reassuring smile on his face. "I'll be right there with you." He leaned down and rested his forehead on Juudai's, noses touching. He laced their fingers together. "And if you do, I'll still be right there to stop it." Johan stared intensely into Juudai's eyes. There was not a speck of gold.
Johan could see the smile in his eyes now.