Disclaimer: Benson and Stabler are not my creations, and if they were...well, let's go ahead and say that SVU would be something completely different right now. And until I can afford to buy the rights and produce the series, Dick Wolf will continue to live up to his name. The nurse, however, is my original character and she will be famous. Someday. Maybe. But probably not.
Despite what she liked to think, Olivia Benson was not invincible. That happened to be the reason why the woman was laying in the bed to his left. He glanced over at her. The medications she was on to counteract the poison she'd inhaled had her out cold. Or so he thought. "I can feel you staring at me," she mumbled, eyes still closed. Fuck. She'd caught him, and she didn't even sound fully conscious.
"I'm not staring," he replied. "Just making sure I don't have to break in another new partner."
He watched as she rolled her head to face away from him. "I'm still breathing," he heard her slur. He knew she what was thinking. She didn't even have to say anything. He knew she was thinking, 'Damn, I'm never gonna live Oregon down.' In all honesty, he shouldn't harp on her about it. It wasn't like she had a choice. That jinx of an FBI agent had put her up for the job, because she'd successfully infiltrated a possible terrorist group. But that was their relationship, right? Ragging on each other even though they had no control over things that had happened? "You're not getting rid of me that easily. Not with your bad luck," she said with a cough, smirking as she rolled her head to face him again.
He hated seeing her like this. Olivia and hospitalization didn't mix. She didn't look like Olivia - his Olivia, the one he knew (and loved) - she looked way too fragile laying in that hospital bed to be his Olivia. Elliot heard her sigh, coughing a bit more as she did. It was apparent to anyone who knew her that she was itching to get out of her hospital bed, to get back to work. Back to her victims. "Yeah, well. Sometimes, I don't mind my bad luck so much." Elliot smiled over at her. The smirk on her face had turned to a smile that was soft and genuine, one he almost never got to see from her. He had a feeling that he was the only one who'd seen it in the past few years.
Olivia shifted in her bed, so she was laying on her side and facing him, eyes still closed. An arm was tucked under her head. "Has Kathy come to see you?"
Fuck. She had to bring that name up. Why? Why would she do that? To be fair, she didn't know. "No." Elliot shook his head. "Why would she?"
"You're still her husband, El, I thought she might be concerned. ...She does know you're here, doesn't she?" Elliot stared at a spot on his white hospital blanket. "El?"
Elliot's bare chest heaved with a sigh. "I signed the divorce papers, Liv."
That opened her eyes. Literally. Olivia sat up in her bed, breathing heavy with the effort. Her lungs were still weak with remnants of the organophosphates. "You...you what?" Her mind reeled. She looked down at his left hand. The gold wedding band he'd wore for the last eight years had vanished. No. No no no no no. This was not part of the plan. He was supposed to make things better with his wife, not sign the damn divorce papers! That piece of paper and that ring on his finger were the only things stopping her from ruining their relationship. Their professional one, at least. She wasn't sure they had a legitimate personal relationship.
Well. That wasn't true. They knew extremely personal things about one another, sure. She was the only one who knew that he had been facing a possible divorce, a divorce that was now imminent. She was one of a few people who knew about his fears involving his children and she was certainly the only one who knew that he'd once gotten a mani/pedi with his youngest daughter...and actually liked it. (As far as she knew, it never happened again. You know. As far as she knew.) Elliot was the only one she discussed her father with, and was the first to know about that small detail of her creation. He knew her passion for kids and how much she wanted to be a mom. They'd had a few discussions about her becoming one, much to her dismay. Elliot even knew that her guilty pleasure was old re-runs of Full House. And...she wasn't sure, but Liv had a feeling he knew about the tattoo she'd gotten down her left side a while back. She hadn't told anyone about it, and she certainly hadn't shown anyone. She had a feeling that he just knew. It was strange. Well. They had a knack for figuring things out about the other just by picking up on body language, and they'd had a pretty good track record of anticipating what the other was going to do or say. Or, in this case, what the other had already done.
They had a personal relationship...just not one outside of work. Probably because, for them, work never ended. And that was probably why his marriage had. (Hadn't Kathy always called her Elliot's 'work wife'?) Which, was a kind of bittersweet thing. She hated seeing him like this. He was miserable, and had been for some time now. She'd accidentally walked into a heated argument he was having on the phone with Kathy about a subject she wasn't privy to the other day, when she'd gone into the locker room after shift. Maybe, just maybe, now that this part of his life would be over, he could have a fresh start and a new beginning.
If it hadn't taken all of the energy she had to sit up in her bed, she'd be sitting beside his bed in the room's visitor chair. Maybe she'd have those twenty seconds of insane courage and hold his hand. Strictly as moral support, though. Her eyes searched his, though she - as usual - couldn't tell what he was thinking when it didn't pertain to a case. God. All Olivia wanted to do was hug him. Buy him a beer, maybe a few rounds. Kiss him. This divorce was making it hard on him, sure, but things were getting to that level of difficulty in her own head, too. That piece of paper and that ring on his finger had been the only thing stopping her from ruining their relationship, professional and personal. That, and it was highly frowned upon to sleep with your partner. The last thing they needed to do was prove the rumors floating around the precinct about the two of them and their little love affair going on true. That would definitely put a damper on both of their reputations.
Why did he have to sign the divorce papers? Why couldn't he just be as stubborn in his marriage as he was at work? "I'm sorry," she said quietly.
The two words hit his ears, and he thought of something a mentor in the Marines had told him a long time ago that he hadn't thought of in ages - "rule number six: never say you're sorry; it's a sign of weakness." But that was just it. That didn't apply to everyone, it couldn't. Liv was one of the strongest people he knew. Elliot met her eyes, and he knew that she was trying to figure out what he was thinking. At the same time, he just wanted to know what she'd do if he snuck out of his bed and crawled into hers so he could wrap his arms around her. That's all he wanted to do. All he had wanted to do for years now. Well. Not all he wanted to do, but for right now, that would have to suffice. He didn't want to get to thinking about that little fantasy for too long, considering Olivia would probably notice the tent being pitched over his crotch and be totally grossed out. With that aforementioned bad luck of his, she probably thought of him more as a brother than anything else. He sighed. Oh well. "Me too." He didn't know what else to say. For the first time since he'd seen the birth of his twins, he didn't know how to hold a conversation.
Olivia kept her eyes trained on him, skimming them over his bare chest. She needed to keep him talking. Whether she wanted to make sure he knew he had someone to confide in or whether she just wanted to hear his voice, she wasn't sure. "What are you gonna do?"
Elliot shook his head. "I don't really know." Not a complete lie. "I have to find a bigger place soon. My lease is up in a couple weeks. I have to find a place with at least...four bedrooms," he sighed. Finding a place to live with that many bedrooms? Not a task easily done on a cop's salary. He knew it, and so did Kathy. "I figure that two of the girls will have to share a room, because a five bedroom is gonna be even impossible to afford on a single salary. Y'know, not that a four bedroom isn't already."
Ask her. Just ask her. It's five simple words: Let's get a place together.
Liv nodded, taking as deep a breath as she could manage without hacking up a lung. "You should really stop smoking, you're getting a smoker's cough," the man joked.
That made her chuckle, which made her cough even more. She rolled her eyes, still grinning as she got a handle on her coughing fit. "Shut up." God. She felt completely weak, not even able to laugh without feeling like every gasp she took was gonna be her last breath. Her skin crawled as she reminded herself where she was at. She wanted out of her bed. At least just to get into Elliot's bed, to curl up with him. He always managed to smell pretty good. Even when he hadn't gone home from the precinct in what seemed like days, he always had this smell to him that made her just want to bury her face in his chest or the crook of his neck. She'd be able to fall back asleep without worrying about dying in her sleep (though the nurses and doctors assured her that she wouldn't) if she was tucked into bed next to him and able to smell him.
Okay, so maybe now her mind was starting to sound like a place where creepers hide out.
She shivered, and a wave of goosebumps washed over her arms. Pulling the blankets up tighter, she exhaled a little loudly. "I had the nurses get you a couple extra blankets while you were out. You looked cold," Elliot told her.
"These things are so damn thin that three of them equals one blanket that I have at home, geesh."
This was it. This was his opportunity. He pulled his blanket loose from his bed and carried it over to her, covering her with it. "Move over."
She looked up at him like he was nuts. "What are you doing?" Elliot motioned for her to move over. She did. He sat down. "Oh are you serious?" Her voice was full of faux disbelief and her expression was one of annoyance, though her insides were screaming with joy. He put his left arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him, and used his right hand to pull the blankets up farther.
She was acting like this irked her. Maybe he'd stepped over the line. He knew that Liv didn't like to feel like she was being 'saved' in anyway. She was an extremely independent woman, who knew how to kick some ass and watch his back at the same time. No matter what the circumstances, she refused to see herself as a victim of anything. But as he pulled her close to him, tucking her safely under his arm, he noticed that she'd relaxed almost completely. There was no way that she was legitimately annoyed with him. (Right now, anyway. He couldn't account for what could happen in the next ten minutes. He had the habit of royally fucking up by saying the wrong thing and the exact right time.) She was laying her head on his chest, eyes closed, and whether she realized it or not, she was smiling. Now that was a smile he'd never seen from her before. "Jesus, your skin is like ice," he muttered to her.
"You're really warm though. What are you, a werewolf?"
"What are you, a glittery vampire?"
"No," she replied. "I'm a glittery zombie."
Elliot chuckled. "Just don't bite me, okay?"
"Not unless you're into that." She yawned.
...Wait, what? Did she really just say that? Did she just imply that...no, she couldn't have. Could she? There were always innuendos being thrown between them, but none quite as blatant as this. He chuckled, as a tactic to stall before having to respond right away. But as he was thinking of a comeback to that, her breathing had slowed, it was less labored than it had been just moments ago. Elliot looked down at her. Liv had fallen asleep against him. He'd never known her to fall asleep so easily. Usually, she suffered from insomnia. She had for years. She'd look over cases at home, writing down something that neither of them had noticed before. If it was something big, she'd text him about it, but that was rare. Usually, the brunette would wait until the morning when they both walked into the precinct. On the nights she wasn't looking over cases, she'd often wake up from nightmares of the victims she couldn't save, or thinking that she heard someone in her apartment and immediately grabbing for her pistol. He was sure that he was one of only people who knew those things about her, with the exception of their captain. She had no family to speak of; the people she worked with acted as a surrogate family. She spent Thanksgiving at Elliot's and Christmas with the captain. As far as any other holidays went...he honestly had no clue where she went or what she did. It wasn't for lack of invitation that she mysteriously went off the grid for those days, though. She knew she was always welcome, no matter the occasion.
Then again, her peaceful slumber could always be chalked up to the drugs that were being pumped into her.
A nurse walked in the room. Elliot glanced up at her, looking like the kid who got caught with his hand in the candy jar. "...She was cold."
The nurse, Vicki, just nodded. She swiftly changed the medicine bag on Olivia's IV hanger. "Do you need anything while I'm here, Mr. Stabler?" Elliot shook his head. "Okay. It's ten o'clock and my shift is about over, but another nurse will be in to check on you when she gets here. Her name is Alice."
"Sounds good. Thanks, Vicki."
The RN made her way to the door, and stopped. She looked over her shoulder and the man who had taken up a shared residence in his roommate's bed. It wasn't often that this happened, and when it did, the case was that 99.8% of the time, the people knew one another. She already knew the answer to the question she was about to ask, but for the hospital's sake, she had to ask anyway. "Mr. Stabler...do you know Mrs. Benson?"
"Yeah, yeah. We, uh, we work together. And it's Miss Benson, she isn't married."
"Work?" Nurse Vicki raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. She's my partner," Elliot replied. "We're detectives with the NYPD."
"So you're just partners?" Elliot nodded. "Hmm. Coulda fooled me. Good night, detective."
The tall, slightly overweight blonde woman left the room, leaving Elliot confused. What did the nurse know that he didn't? "What the hell does that mean?" he mumbled. It wasn't long before trying to figure out the reasoning behind the nurse's comment wore him out, and he gave into the night's impending sleep.
Her coffee brown eyes flew open, but it was her gasp and body movement that woke him up. She'd jerked up into a sitting position, and that's how he'd found her when he woke. She was in the midst of a coughing fit, though it wasn't as bad as it had been a few hours ago. The gasp probably set her into it. "What? What happened?" He was a bit dazed, and it took him a moment to realize it wasn't Kathy next to him and he wasn't at home. He glanced at the clock on the wall. 3:24 am. "Liv?"
Olivia felt a hand on her upper arm and the man behind her sit up. "It's nothing, I'm fine." Was she, or was she just saying that to get him to leave her alone about it? Probably the latter, because it had recently been brought to her attention by a friend that her 'I'm fine' meant that she was anything but. And if a friend she hadn't spent a whole lot of time with knew that, there was no way that Elliot didn't.
El rubbed her arm a bit, knowing that she was doing her whole 'strong woman' routine. Not that he faulted her for that, because he knew it was just an instinct she had, a knee-jerk reaction - most of the time, anyway. And when it wasn't? That hit him where it hurt, every time. It made him feel like she didn't trust him enough to let him in. He knew that wasn't true, because there were things that he didn't feel that Liv should be burdened with, but he still trusted her, blindly, with his life. This...this was one of those episodes that fell into Liv's 'most of the time' category, he was sure. But if he was wrong, if it wasn't? Well, then he'd feel that hit when it got to him. "You sure? Y'seem kinda shook up."
"Yeah, I'm sure." She turned to give him a smile to sell her lie that she was almost certain he wouldn't buy. The good thing was, even if he didn't believe what she told him, he usually left her alone about it. She hoped this time, he would follow that pattern. He didn't need to know what sick and twisted horror story her subconscious had concocted starring the two of them this time. "I'm just...over-thinking a case, that's all."
Ow. That hit just got to him. He sighed lightly. That tiny little smile she just gave him? It gave her away every time. But he supposed that he'd just let her go on thinking that he believed her. Elliot laid back in the bed. "You do realize I am your partner. I always will be, for better or worse. If you're having trouble with a case, you can talk to me about it. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I know that. And thank you, but..." Olivia leaned back in the bed. "I'm fine, El. Really." His arm was still around her. How had it not gone numb by now?
" 'Kay. Good." It fell silent, and for several moments, they just laid there like that. His arm was around her and her head rested on his chest. It was a comfortable silence, not like the awkward or tension-filled ones that they shared so many times in the bull pen while pissed at one another. Yeah. Despite the fact that Elliot knew she was lying to him, probably with good reason, it was a comfortable silence.