"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"
Chapter one: Woman on the Verge
Author: Gluglug
Spoiler Warning/Timing: late-Third Season
Rating: PG -13
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.
A/N: This is a future fic, set in April 2003. Rory has been dating Jess for six months. Lorelai is seeing Alex, the coffeehouse guy. Luke is still dating Nicole, Taylor's lawyer. This is still sort of an L/L but more of a mother/daughter story.
Summary: Lorelai discovers a box of condoms in Rory's dresser drawer and overreacts. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------
It was Saturday night just after eleven and Rory Gilmore entered her empty house. Jess has just dropped her home from their date, they had gone to a nearby movie art house to see a Pedro Almodovar double feature, "All About My Mother" and "Talk to Her."
Rory saw the blinking message on the answering machine and assumed it was her mom telling her she was spending the night at Alex's, as she had the past few weekends. Rory was surprised to hear Luke's bewildered voice. He didn't call their house very often.
"Lorelai, it's Luke. What the hell was that little stunt you pulled tonight about? I'm hoping there is a logical, or at least a Lorelai- logical explanation. Please call me tomorrow or stop by the diner."
Rory wondered what that was all about and went into her room to change into her p.j's. She was just about to get into bed when she heard the front door close. Rory got out of bed and went to greet her mother. Lorelai looked like she had seen a ghost.
"Mom, you don't look well. You didn't break up with Alex tonight, did you?"
"No. Alex and I are fine, I guess. I just did the stupidest thing ever."
Rory nodded. "Michael Jackson dangling his kid off a balcony kind of stupid?"
"Oh, no. I make Jacko look like a genius in comparison."
"Hey. I'll make you some tea and you can tell me what happened. It's too late for coffee, I'm afraid." Rory went into the kitchen and put on the kettle. "Oh, and there's a really weird message from Luke on the machine. I'm sorry I listened, but I thought it was you calling to tell me you weren't going to be home."
Lorelai stopped dead in her tracks. "What did he say? Did he sound mad?"
"Mad? No, but he sounded perplexed."
"Just great." Lorelai faced the machine with trepidation and listened to the message. Well, at least he wasn't banning her from the diner or telling her he would never serve her coffee again. She had a Lorelai- logical answer, she just wasn't sure how long it would be before she could tell him.
Lorelai sat at the kitchen table and held her head in her hands. Rory placed a mug of hot tea in front of her.
"So what did you do?"
"I walked in on Luke and Nicole, um how do I say this? In Flagrante Delecto."
Rory was surprised but not shocked. "Wow, so Luke's getting some. He does seem less grumpy these days, huh? Were they doing it in the diner?"
Lorelai shook her head. "No, above the diner, in his apartment."
Rory raised her eyebrows. "Mom, what were you doing in his apartment late at night? I thought you had a date with Alex tonight."
"I did have a date, but my mind was somewhere else, so Alex dropped me home early."
"You're not having Luke fantasies again, are you?"
"No. Rory. Mommy doesn't have Luke fantasies. That was a one time deal and that dream was only Sherry envy...."
"Whatever. Hey, you didn't answer my question, why were you at his apartment?"
"Rory, you are gonna be really mad at me when I tell you why, so please be kind to your sick sad mother." She took a breath.
"Ok, tonight when I was getting ready for my date. I wanted to wear these sparkly hair clips; they go really nice with my dress. I realized that you had them, so I went into your room and got them out of your dresser drawer."
"So you went into my drawer, you do that all the time."
"Yeah, but this time I noticed something unusual."
"What did you see?"
"A box of condoms."
Rory was nonplussed. "Oh, so you found the Trojan men."
"Rory, I'm sorry but I kind of flipped out. I started imagining you and Jess doing all sorts of things involving the use of condoms. And Alex wasn't helping matters. He told me that you're 18 and you're bound to have sex sooner or later...."
Rory wasn't angry that her mother found the condoms but she was getting annoyed at her mother's indiscretion.
"You discussed my sex life with your boyfriend?"
"Well, I didn't mean to but I was preoccupied and Alex wanted to know what was wrong so I told him. And the more we talked the more upset I got so....what do you mean your sex life? Are you and Jess having sex?"
"No, Mom! Not yet. And you still haven't told me why you went to Luke's, although I think I know the answer."
"Well, I kept freaking out and it was getting late and you were supposed to be home and I couldn't take it anymore so I went to Luke's. His door was unlocked so I went upstairs and I listened through the door. I heard some not so innocent noises so I tried the door and opened it. I turned on the light and that's when I saw.....what I saw."
Rory was incensed. "And what would you have done if you had found Jess and me instead of Luke and his girlfriend?"
Lorelai shrugged weakly. "Um, I haven't thought about that yet?"
Rory stood up and began to yell at her mother. "What were you thinking? I can't believe you would do something like that. Don't you trust me?" Rory wasn't finished. "And poor Luke, the guy's finally getting some and you're hell bent on ruining any chance he has."
Lorelai raised her voice to match her daughters. "What do you mean, hell bent! I didn't do that to Luke on purpose! And you're not so innocent either, Britney Spears! If you're not having sex with Jus, I mean Jess, why DO you have a box of condoms in your dresser anyway?"
"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer, Mom. Your behavior tonight is inexcusable."
Rory went into her room and slammed the door.
Lorelai stared at her half-drunk mug of tea. "Right back at ya," she muttered.
Lorelai hated it when they fought and her eyes filled with tears. She considered knocking on Rory's door, but she decided to give her the night to cool off. They would make up tomorrow, she and Rory couldn't stay angry at each other for more than twenty-four hours. And as for the Luke debacle, well, she'd deal with that when she was ready.
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A/N: I hope this premise isn't too outlandish or out of character. Most of the time Lorelai is a level-headed parent but occasionally she goes off the deep end and I really wanted to write a story where Rory and Lorelai face the s-e-x question head on. It's been glossed over on the show thus far. And I had to involve Luke in some embarrassing fashion. Poor guy. Blame it on the muse.
Chapter one: Woman on the Verge
Author: Gluglug
Spoiler Warning/Timing: late-Third Season
Rating: PG -13
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.
A/N: This is a future fic, set in April 2003. Rory has been dating Jess for six months. Lorelai is seeing Alex, the coffeehouse guy. Luke is still dating Nicole, Taylor's lawyer. This is still sort of an L/L but more of a mother/daughter story.
Summary: Lorelai discovers a box of condoms in Rory's dresser drawer and overreacts. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------
It was Saturday night just after eleven and Rory Gilmore entered her empty house. Jess has just dropped her home from their date, they had gone to a nearby movie art house to see a Pedro Almodovar double feature, "All About My Mother" and "Talk to Her."
Rory saw the blinking message on the answering machine and assumed it was her mom telling her she was spending the night at Alex's, as she had the past few weekends. Rory was surprised to hear Luke's bewildered voice. He didn't call their house very often.
"Lorelai, it's Luke. What the hell was that little stunt you pulled tonight about? I'm hoping there is a logical, or at least a Lorelai- logical explanation. Please call me tomorrow or stop by the diner."
Rory wondered what that was all about and went into her room to change into her p.j's. She was just about to get into bed when she heard the front door close. Rory got out of bed and went to greet her mother. Lorelai looked like she had seen a ghost.
"Mom, you don't look well. You didn't break up with Alex tonight, did you?"
"No. Alex and I are fine, I guess. I just did the stupidest thing ever."
Rory nodded. "Michael Jackson dangling his kid off a balcony kind of stupid?"
"Oh, no. I make Jacko look like a genius in comparison."
"Hey. I'll make you some tea and you can tell me what happened. It's too late for coffee, I'm afraid." Rory went into the kitchen and put on the kettle. "Oh, and there's a really weird message from Luke on the machine. I'm sorry I listened, but I thought it was you calling to tell me you weren't going to be home."
Lorelai stopped dead in her tracks. "What did he say? Did he sound mad?"
"Mad? No, but he sounded perplexed."
"Just great." Lorelai faced the machine with trepidation and listened to the message. Well, at least he wasn't banning her from the diner or telling her he would never serve her coffee again. She had a Lorelai- logical answer, she just wasn't sure how long it would be before she could tell him.
Lorelai sat at the kitchen table and held her head in her hands. Rory placed a mug of hot tea in front of her.
"So what did you do?"
"I walked in on Luke and Nicole, um how do I say this? In Flagrante Delecto."
Rory was surprised but not shocked. "Wow, so Luke's getting some. He does seem less grumpy these days, huh? Were they doing it in the diner?"
Lorelai shook her head. "No, above the diner, in his apartment."
Rory raised her eyebrows. "Mom, what were you doing in his apartment late at night? I thought you had a date with Alex tonight."
"I did have a date, but my mind was somewhere else, so Alex dropped me home early."
"You're not having Luke fantasies again, are you?"
"No. Rory. Mommy doesn't have Luke fantasies. That was a one time deal and that dream was only Sherry envy...."
"Whatever. Hey, you didn't answer my question, why were you at his apartment?"
"Rory, you are gonna be really mad at me when I tell you why, so please be kind to your sick sad mother." She took a breath.
"Ok, tonight when I was getting ready for my date. I wanted to wear these sparkly hair clips; they go really nice with my dress. I realized that you had them, so I went into your room and got them out of your dresser drawer."
"So you went into my drawer, you do that all the time."
"Yeah, but this time I noticed something unusual."
"What did you see?"
"A box of condoms."
Rory was nonplussed. "Oh, so you found the Trojan men."
"Rory, I'm sorry but I kind of flipped out. I started imagining you and Jess doing all sorts of things involving the use of condoms. And Alex wasn't helping matters. He told me that you're 18 and you're bound to have sex sooner or later...."
Rory wasn't angry that her mother found the condoms but she was getting annoyed at her mother's indiscretion.
"You discussed my sex life with your boyfriend?"
"Well, I didn't mean to but I was preoccupied and Alex wanted to know what was wrong so I told him. And the more we talked the more upset I got so....what do you mean your sex life? Are you and Jess having sex?"
"No, Mom! Not yet. And you still haven't told me why you went to Luke's, although I think I know the answer."
"Well, I kept freaking out and it was getting late and you were supposed to be home and I couldn't take it anymore so I went to Luke's. His door was unlocked so I went upstairs and I listened through the door. I heard some not so innocent noises so I tried the door and opened it. I turned on the light and that's when I saw.....what I saw."
Rory was incensed. "And what would you have done if you had found Jess and me instead of Luke and his girlfriend?"
Lorelai shrugged weakly. "Um, I haven't thought about that yet?"
Rory stood up and began to yell at her mother. "What were you thinking? I can't believe you would do something like that. Don't you trust me?" Rory wasn't finished. "And poor Luke, the guy's finally getting some and you're hell bent on ruining any chance he has."
Lorelai raised her voice to match her daughters. "What do you mean, hell bent! I didn't do that to Luke on purpose! And you're not so innocent either, Britney Spears! If you're not having sex with Jus, I mean Jess, why DO you have a box of condoms in your dresser anyway?"
"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer, Mom. Your behavior tonight is inexcusable."
Rory went into her room and slammed the door.
Lorelai stared at her half-drunk mug of tea. "Right back at ya," she muttered.
Lorelai hated it when they fought and her eyes filled with tears. She considered knocking on Rory's door, but she decided to give her the night to cool off. They would make up tomorrow, she and Rory couldn't stay angry at each other for more than twenty-four hours. And as for the Luke debacle, well, she'd deal with that when she was ready.
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A/N: I hope this premise isn't too outlandish or out of character. Most of the time Lorelai is a level-headed parent but occasionally she goes off the deep end and I really wanted to write a story where Rory and Lorelai face the s-e-x question head on. It's been glossed over on the show thus far. And I had to involve Luke in some embarrassing fashion. Poor guy. Blame it on the muse.