A/N: I don't own Glee nor the characters within. Alrightie, this was the first Pezberry and Glee fanfic I ever wrote, and I waffled about ever posting it or not. Not because it's horrible, per se, but you can definitely tell that I'm trying to get the characters down. Still, hopefully you'll find something in this piece of my Pezberry history to enjoy. XD
The door clanged open with a bang; even though she had been expecting it, it made Rachel jump. Before she could push herself away from the sink and turn towards the disturbance, strong arms slid around her waist, soft lips leaving a kiss to the side of her neck.
Relaxing into the scent of floral shampoo and delicate perfume, Rachel smiled at the reflection of her girlfriend. "You're a little late," she teased, grinning at the expression Santana made.
"Well, you're the one who decided on the bathroom the farthest away from the football field," Santana squeezed Rachel's hips, then urged her to turn around, the smaller girl's arms locking around her neck, "'Sides, I gots here as soon as I could."
"Oh, you did?"
"Mmhm." Smiling down at her, Santana leaned forward to brush her lips against the pouting ones below her.
Tangling her fingers into the pulled tight hair at the nape of Santana's neck, Rachel made sure not to be too rough, her other hand curling around a warm shoulder, thrilling at the bare skin the Cheerio uniform offered her. Santana's lips were confidant and affectionate, the girl kissing her in the way that made a warm feeling settle in the pit of Rachel's stomach.
Truth be told, when she had sent the text message to Santana telling her to meet her after her Cheerio practice, Rachel hadn't known if she would be getting a very horny girlfriend or the one she was getting now. Most of the time she didn't have a preference, but it wasn't often Santana just held her and kissed her, asking for nothing more. Rachel had the distinct feeling that if she wanted things to escalate, it would be up to her.
The bathroom door swung open again, the sound of muted soles pausing before walking forward making Rachel open her eyes and pull away, Santana switching her focus to nibbling gently on her ear; sucking in a deep breath at the nipping teeth, Rachel tightened her grip as she took in the rolling eyes of their friend Quinn.
"Ugh, again, guys?" Quinn asked, coming to a stop at the sink closest to where the two girls stood, still embraced, "Why is it that I'm always the one who walks in on you?"
Rachel blushed while Santana just chuckled into her ear, "Hey Q. You sure you're not just following me? Lookin' for a free show?"
"Eww." Quinn frowned, shaking her head. "Seriously though," she started, fluffing her hair in the mirror, "You have heard about locks and stalls, haven't you?"
Trying to pull away, Santana tensing the muscles in her arms to stop her, Rachel gave Quinn a suffering look and managed to twist enough so while Santana still held her, at least they weren't pressed front to front anymore. "Erm," she shivered as a cold nose nuzzled against her recently nibbled ear, coughing to cover up how it affected her, "You're quite right, Quinn. We really should have utilized a lock, even if I would be hesitant to trust the relative cleanliness of a McKinley High restroom stall. …Can you stop that?"
Santana chuckled again, finally letting go of her girlfriend and stepping away, "If you insist." She joined Quinn in front of the mirror, fixing the hold of her ponytail that despite all her best efforts, Rachel had loosened. Catching Rachel's gaze, she winked.
Blushing a little, Rachel watched the two Cheerios going through their normal routine – to complete the common sight, all they needed was Brittany to show up. "How was practice?" she asked curiously.
"Oh, no biggie," Santana offered, reapplying her mascara, "Pretty normal."
Quinn nodded, a moment later accepting the mascara Santana handed her; suddenly self conscious, Rachel studied her own reflection in the mirror, "Yeah, not the worst we've had. Coach's being pretty lenient, all told."
"I see." Nodding, Rachel bit her lip. It wasn't like she really saw, as Santana had all but forbidden her to be anywhere near the practices. Even though she and Santana were for the most part 'out' about their relationship, Santana still tried to keep the Cheerios separate. Rachel didn't like it, but she understood. With cheerleader politics and the ever present shadow of Sue Sylvester, sometimes (most times) it was better to err on the side of caution.
Catching the bite in the mirror, Santana stilled, frowning. She sighed. "Rachel…"
Rachel blinked, forcing a bright smile onto her face, "No, no, San, it's okay."
"Rachel." Firming her voice, Santana pushed away from the sink, "We talked about this."
Rachel looked down, stomach dropping slightly. She hadn't meant to make a big deal about the situation, and especially not at this time. Cheerleading was pretty much the only thing they fought about (she and Santana hadn't exactly fought over the need of having weekly dinners with each other's families), and they never seemed to get anything resolved when the topic came up. But now they were going to talk about it again, and she knew it was all her fault.
"Hey, Rache. C'mon, babe, look at me." Gentle fingers tucked loose hair behind Rachel's ear. Though her tone was still somewhat brusque, her touch felt as tender as it always did. "I can't talk with you if you're not looking at me."
"I… Don't want to talk," Rachel swallowed, forcing a fleeting smile on her face as she raised her head. Seeing Santana's deep frown, she hurriedly clarified, "Because there's nothing to talk about. It's fine. Really."
Santana laughed humorlessly, shaking her head. She took a deep breath and crossed her arms, giving her girlfriend a measuring stare. "Rachel, you never not want to talk."
Rachel knew Santana knew she wouldn't be able to evade her for very much longer. She looked past her to see Quinn awkwardly finishing up her makeup, trying hard to not intrude or look like she was listening. Taking in a long, deep breath, Rachel dropped her shoulders. "Please…" she started, looking up into Santana's eyes, her voice quiet, "Can we not talk about this now? Class is going to start soon, and…" She trailed off knowing Santana would see through the flimsy excuse for what it was.
Santana moved her gaze over to Quinn and then back to Rachel, and she closed her eyes, nodding, "Yeah, sure." She sighed. "C'mon, Q." Shooting one last glance at Rachel, she turned and pushed the bathroom door open, not waiting for the blonde to follow.
Tears building up behind her eyes, Rachel stared at the floor, incredibly hurt by her girlfriend's abrupt exit.
"Rachel…?"
Quinn's soft voice made Rachel sniff and look up at her, brushing back her hair with false bravado. She knew Quinn didn't agree with Santana's decision about their relationship and the Cheerios. Having approached the blonde right after she and Santana had started dating to hopefully get some more understanding about the choice to keep things separate, Rachel had been surprised when Quinn had warned her that Santana was obstinate and it was very hard to change her mind even if she knew she was wrong.
The blonde gave her a small smile, "I'll talk to her." Then, at Rachel's nod and quietly whispered, "Thank you," Quinn turned and exited the bathroom, leaving Rachel alone.
It was just like before, only instead of waiting eagerly for her girlfriend to arrive, she was dealing with her girlfriend's upsetting departure. It wasn't a very nice feeling at all.
Ten minutes into her first class, her phone buzzed with a new text.
It was Santana. I'm sorry.
Looking all around to make sure no one was looking, Rachel quickly replied. I know.
I'm a stubborn bitch sometimes. Can we talk about this later?
Language, San! And yes. I'd like that.
*chuckle* Only you'd correct me on language over text. Can you at least give me credit for writing in full sentences?
Rachel rolled her eyes, smiling to herself. When they'd first started dating, Santana hadn't taken her admonishments about text speak seriously, and Rachel had decided to force the issue by researching the most obscure acronyms she could find and spamming her girlfriend's inbox with them. Getting tired of googling all the time, Santana had finally thrown in the towel and made it a point to be extra grammatically correct most of the time. Fine, that IS admirable. Good job.
Thank you. A minute later, her phone vibrated again. I love you, babe.
Rachel melted. The combination of Santana declaring her love and using her pet name always touched her. I love you too, San. Very much. Now get back to class before we get caught.
Alright, alright. See you after class. 3
3 Locking her phone and slipping it back into her pocket, Rachel couldn't stop the wide smile that slid across her face.
The kiss Santana gave her at her locker made her legs weak. Strong hands cupping her cheeks and body pressing into hers, Santana had surrounded her completely. Her lips were firm and thorough, and Rachel drank in the confidence she exuded.
Over all too soon, it was Rachel's turn to thread her arms around her girlfriend's waist to keep her close, shivering at the feelings Santana's hands sliding down to rest on her hips gave her. "San," she whispered, having come to her own conclusion sometime after their text conversation from earlier, "I don't care if I'm not a part of your Cheerio life."
"Rache?" Surprised, Santana tilted her head down to better see her.
Rachel shook her head, smiling softly. "Just because we share glee, it doesn't mean I need to share the Cheerios with you. The key to a successful relationship is respecting your partner's decisions, after all, and I realized that I was being incredibly selfish." She started playing with the hem of Santana's Cheerio top.
Shaking her own head, Santana met her gaze squarely, "No, no, Rachel, you weren't being selfish. It wasn't fair of me."
Rachel cut her off. "No, it's okay. I just… Cheerios is a big part of your life, you know?" Her voice sounded small, and she gazed up at Santana shyly. "…And I was…" She closed her eyes and took a breath, swallowing. "I was jealous. Not to mention Brittany's a Cheerio," she added almost as an afterthought, looking over towards where the tall blonde and Quinn were talking down the hall, "And though I know that's long gone and done with, she… She gets to share that part of your life with you.
"But I trust you, okay? I trust you. If you feel like you need to keep me and… And cheerleading separate, then that's what you need," Rachel continued, nodding resolutely. Her soft eyes searched Santana's. "Can you forgive me?"
Santana frowned, eyes starting to darken. "Babe, that's what you're worried about?" she asked, shaking her head. Tightening her grip on Rachel's hips, she leaned closer, "Brittany?" Her voice sounded like a mix of bewilderment and anger.
Rachel's eyes widened. "What? No, no!" she protested. "I mean, I know I said that, but I didn't mean it. I – she, she just gets to spend so much more time with you."
"Q does too," Santana said warningly, "But you don't care about her, do you?"
"San!" The shortening of Santana's name came out in a strangled exhalation, Rachel pushing herself into her girlfriend and hugging her tightly, trying hard to imagine that the rigidity of Santana's body was just in her head. "San, please, that's not what I meant."
Strong but still gentle hands gripped her waist, succeeding in pushing her back a little. "God, Rachel…" A wounded look glowed in Santana's eyes, and she dropped her hands, curling them into loose fists close to her body. "When we first started dating, I told you all about Brittany. I told you it was over, that it had been over for a long time. I love her, sure, and I'll always love her. But I don't love her. And she knows that. She feels the same. You said you were fine with that!" Almost sounding accusing now, Santana covered up her hurt with defensiveness, "I don't worry about you and Finnessa!"
Wringing her hands together, Rachel tried to pull back the tears that had once again gathered. "I don't know why I said that!" she burst out, "I don't – I don't honestly have a problem with you and Brittany – !"
"There is no 'me and Brittany'!" Santana harshly bit out, throwing up her hands when Rachel's face crumpled in response. "Oh, come on, Rachel! Stop crying!"
Turning away, Rachel sniffled, trying to dash away her tears with the heel of her palm. "I'm not trying to cry," she closed her eyes then looked back at Santana, struggling to keep her shoulders up and back straight even as her eyes watered, "It's an honest reaction to my emotional state."
A noise of frustration left Santana's lips. "Well, maybe you should try harder, ya think?"
Rachel stiffened. "I'm sorry I am not acting in such a way you find acceptable." She whirled around and slammed open her locker door, blindly grabbing for the books she'd need for the next period, hearing the warning bell ring even as she shoved them into her rolling backpack. It took all her concentration not to let out a whimper as the tears came, making her chin tremble. "Now if you excuse me," she pushed out lowly, not turning back to face Santana, "I need to get to class."
"Ah, shit – Rachel!" Long fingers grabbed the sleeve of her shirt, forcing her to stop.
"Santana, the warning bell has rung. Please release me." If Santana didn't let her go within the next thirty seconds, she wouldn't make it to the bathroom before the sobs building in the back of her throat came out. However, as soon as her girlfriend stepped around her, Rachel's eyes flicked automatically up to meet her dark gaze, and the dam broke.
Santana's hands wrapped around her arms, one sliding down to release the handle of her backpack Rachel was still gripping tightly. As it clattered to the ground, she was enfolded into a warm embrace. Pulling Rachel's unresisting body in close, Santana hugged her tightly. Her voice still sounded annoyed, but her hand was gentle as it stroked her hair, "Shh, babe, c'mon. Shh."
Rachel knew Santana hated to see her cry. After years of verbal abuse and countless nights sobbing into her pillow courtesy of the cheerleader, Santana had almost ended the relationship before it began because she didn't believe she deserved Rachel. It had taken angry and frustrated tears flowing helplessly out of the smaller brunette's eyes to get Santana to run after her. Part guilt, part concern, and part fear that that was the only thing she was good at doing to her, witnessing Rachel cry absolutely terrified Santana. As Brittany put it, Rachel's tears were Santana's kryptonite.
Which is why Rachel tried her hardest not to let herself cry around her. She was normally good at holding them back anyway, but the extent of how much she felt for her girlfriend sometimes overruled that ability. And now she was too mad at herself to allow herself to calm down.
She felt horrible.
Suddenly, slim arms slid around her waist from behind her, and the familiar scent of Brittany's shampoo made its way to her nose. "Aww, Rachie," Brittany offered sweetly, hugging her close, Santana moving her arms up to Rachel's shoulders to allow the abrupt body against them space, "What are you crying about? Did someone make fun of you again? Cuz' San'd be happy to beat them up for you, you know."
Instead of answering, Brittany's well meaning comfort and sweet hug made Rachel sob harder. It wasn't because she was hurt or angry at the blonde for jumping in, but because she knew that she hadn't been fair to her not five minutes before.
Muttering something in almost amused Spanish, Santana squeezed Rachel's shoulders. "Should I worry about you and Britts, Rache?" she whispered into her ear pseudo-teasingly, making Rachel cough-laugh-sob.
"Don't even…" she started, cut off when Santana pushed her chin up and kissed her forehead, an automatic soft smile cutting through her tears. Meeting Santana's swirling, questioning gaze, Rachel slowly closed her eyes and leaned forward, pressing her forehead into Santana's neck. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"I know," Santana answered, then lifted a hand to ostensibly squeeze Brittany's shoulder to let her know they were fine, as Brittany tightened her hug of Rachel, told her kindly, "I'll see you later, Rachie, okay? I hope you feel better," and slipped away.
Santana's arms quickly reclaimed her waist, and the taller girl sighed. "We're quite a pair, aren't we?"
Rachel nodded.
"But of what? Two insanely hot babes? Badass singers?"
Understanding Santana's game, Rachel grinned against her neck. "I love you, you know," she whispered.
Santana squeezed her tightly, kissing her forehead again. "I love you too. Now c'mon," she stepped away, smiling down at Rachel, "You don't want to be too late for class, right?"
Rachel smiled shyly, then leaned up to brush their lips together, "Right." To her great relief, she'd stopped crying, Santana's affection having replaced most of her insecurities.
Santana immediately returned the kiss. "Alright, alright," she stepped away fully, leaning down to pick up the backpack handle and sliding her hand around Rachel's, she started tugging her down the hall, "I'll walk ya to class."
Rachel could only smile. Capturing Santana's dark eyes, she pressed herself into her girlfriend's side. She knew they still had things to talk about, but they were going to be okay.
Santana smiled down at her, then unlaced their hands so she could slide her arm around her waist, pulling them even closer together.
Yes, Rachel was sure they were going to be okay.