I still don't own anything related to TBBT, only these words are mine.

This story is a follow up from The Encouragement Declamation, so if you haven't read that one, I suggest you do that before starting on this one.

Darkness.

Silence.

Cold.

That was the entire world to Amy now, nothing else had remained. No memories of a time before all this, just that same old feeling.

She was all alone.

Ever since she had been released from the hospital a few days after she had lost her daughter during childbirth, she had not left the bed she had once shared with Sheldon.

Windows were never allowed to open, the shutters were closed and the curtains had been as well, to block out every single ray of sunlight. Even so, she still had pulled the blankets completely over her head, hiding under them as she had done as kid so many years ago.

Back then it all had been a game, but this wasn't a game. This was the cold hard reality that was her life now.

Her daughter had died, even before she had been able to hold her. And now she was all alone…

As Sheldon emerged from the room where Amy was and Penny and Leonard reached him, he spoke the most hurtful words both of them had ever heard.

"The…there were complications."

"She's gone."

This left the couple standing frozen in front of him, mouths open in shock. Minutes past slowly, which felt like hours to all three of them.

"Sheldon…what happened?" Leonard asked as he started to regain some of his senses, while Penny was still unable to react, besides a small tear appearing in the corner of her right eye.

"Is Amy really…gone?" he asked carefully, afraid to know the answer.

"It's Ellie" Sheldon replied, now surprisingly calm.

"My daughter died, Amy is still is surgery but will recover they say" he continued, stating all of this as if it had been pre-recorded. If Penny had been even slightly herself, she would have made some comparison with a robot.

"Oh Sheldon…I'm so sorry buddy" Leonard said, as he moved closer to throw his arms around his best friend and former roommate.

Before long, both of them felt another embrace, realizing that Penny had joined them.

As no one knew what to say, Penny tried to break the silence.

"Ellie is a beautiful name, how did you two come up with that?" she asked as she looked in the blank eyes of the man standing before her.

"It's short for Eleanor, which we chose because it's the name of worldwide renowned neuroscientist, Eleanor Maguire."

"Over the last year, Amy has been corresponding with her from time to time, and they developed a great friendship, even though they never met in real life. So we chose that name because of her, and also we really liked the name" Sheldon continued as he moved towards the seats.

"That's a nice gesture Sheldon, but shouldn't you be in there with Amy?" Leonard asked, as he instinctively took hold of Penny's hand while following Sheldon and sitting down beside him on the bench.

"There's nothing I can do in there now, I was only getting in the way" he sighed.

"And I couldn't stay there for another minute, knowing what just happened in there. I lost her Leonard, I didn't even hear her make a sound" Sheldon said while he lowered his head, covering his face with both hands.

"Did you at least get to hold her?" Penny asked as she moved to the other side of Sheldon, throwing her arm around him.

"I did".

"She was so beautiful, and so tiny" he replied, still hiding his face from both of them.

"Why did this had to happen Penny? Is it something we did to deserve this? Why? WHY!?"

Penny, while searching for an answer, look around the room. But it was completely empty, except for the three of them. Eventually her eyes rested on Leonard, and without a single word said they both knew what was needed.

"Sheldon, I'm going to get you some water" Leonard said, as he stood up and softly walked towards where the arrows with the words Cafeteria steered him to.

All Sheldon could do was nod. When Penny saw Leonard walking away, she moved even closer to Sheldon.

"I don't know what to say Sheldon, but I know one thing. Whatever the reason is, this has nothing to do with either you or Amy! You both did everything you could have done to give her a lovely home and bring her safely in to this world."

"I don't know Penny, I always believe there is a reason for everything that happens, so there must be one for this" he said as he now was staring at the clock, as the hand on the clock ticked every second away.

"What's taking so long anyway?" he asked suddenly, quickly standing up, ready to storm back in to the room he had come out of before.

"Just wait here Sheldon, I'll go and try and find it out. Stay here with Leonard" she said as she saw him walking towards them with several drinks in his hands.

Penny walked towards him, and talked for a few minutes while keeping an eye on Sheldon.

Leonard told her he had spoken to Howard, Bernadette, Raj and Emily as he was getting some drinks, and informed them what had happened. He convinced them to go home, he knew although they meant well, Sheldon and Amy didn't need this big a crowd. He promised they would inform them later on how everyone, especially Amy was doing, and what would happen the next couple of days.

As the minutes passed and Sheldon talked to Leonard about a lot of things while sharing a drink, eventually Penny returned with the doctor who was the surgeon who operated on Amy.

"Dr. Cooper, I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't have time to offer my condolences before" he said as he offered his hand to Sheldon.

"Although this is a devastating day for you, I am still happy to report the surgery on your wife has been successful, and she is now on her way to the recovery room. She should be starting to wake up in an hour or two."

"Might I suggest you go home, take a short rest and then come back to the hospital? You will still be here when she wakes up" the doctor continued.

"I just lost my daughter! Do you really think I am going to leave Amy all alone?" Sheldon shouted at him, while moving closer to him in anger.

"Calm down Sheldon" both Penny and Leonard said.

"It's actually not a bad idea, let's get you home so you can take a quick shower and put on some clean clothes" Penny quietly said to him.

"Do you really think the first thing Amy wants to see is you like this? You're still covered in blood, your face is red from crying. Come on Sheldon, you know this is the right thing to do. I promise we'll drive you right back after you have freshened up a bit" she went on.

"Oh…okay" he finally said.

With that, the three of them left the hospital and headed to Sheldon and Amy's house.

After Sheldon had done what both of his friends suggested, he reappeared before them dressed. It looked like he had grabbed the first articles of clothing he could out of the closet, but none of that mattered right now.

"Sheldon, I made you a sandwich. You really should eat something before we had back to the hospital" Penny said, already preparing to have to convince him it was the right thing to do now.

"All right" he said, as he took the plate with the grilled cheese sandwich and set down in one of the chairs.

"Do you think he's all right Leonard? He seems, I don't know even more distant then usual" Penny whispered softly.

"I don't know Penny. Maybe this is his way of dealing with it for now."

"I'm actually quite glad he is at least talking about it, after I heard it I expected him to shut down completely."

After a few more minutes Sheldon had finished the sandwich and now was eager to head back, as were Leonard and Penny.

When the three of them walked back through the entrance of the hospital, just over an hour had passed. Darkness had completely settled in outside now, so they were greeted by the soft yellowish light when they walked inside.

There they met the same woman who Sheldon and Leonard had met before, and remembered her name was Marissa.

"Dr. Cooper, I'm so sorry to hear what happened" she stated, as she guided all of them towards the recovery room.

"Once the hospital informed me what had happened, I just had to come back. I hope you don't mind?"

As Sheldon remained silent, Leonard answered her.

"We all appreciate it, I hope this doesn't interfere with anything important" he replied politely.

"Not at all, I always feel very connected to our patients and their family, so I am happy to be here and offer any assistance I can."

As the four of them walked quietly through what appeared to be abandoned halls, they heard Marissa whisper.

"Here it is, she is on the second bed to the left" she said as she pointed towards the door that was barely open.

"Can we all go in?" Penny asked, not sure what was customary in these situations.

"Usually we only allow one person in at first, but since the operation seems to have gone well, I'll let Dr. Cooper decide."

As both Penny and Leonard stared at Sheldon, he slowly turned towards them.

"I…I think I need to go in first by myself if you don't mind. I'll let you know when you can come in. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is Sheldon, we are here for you, and for Amy. Just let us know" Penny replied as she gave him a small encouraging pat on his back.

And with that, Sheldon pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"Sheldon…?"

"W…where am I?"

Those word the first words Amy was able to speak after she has awakened in the bed, minutes after he had sat down next to her.

"You're in the hospital Amy."

"How are you feeling? Do you remember what happened?" he asked.

"I'm a little sore, but overall I feel quite good" Amy replied as she turned her head towards the sound of his voice.

"I remember going into labor, but after that nothing."

Just when Sheldon wanted to speak again, Amy sat up slightly.

"Sheldon?"

"Yes Amy?"

"Where is our baby girl?"

This first chapter is not a happy one, and most likely the next few chapters won't be either.

But things will slowly get better, they just have a lot to deal with at the moment.

Please let me know what you think of this first chapter, it really means a lot to me.