Standard disclaimer applies.
Title: Goodnight, Sweetheart.
Genre: Drama/Angst.
Rating: General.
Warning: Character death.
Pairings/Characters: Tala/Kai, implied Tala/Bryan.
Summary: Sometimes, love can drive us to do the craziest things. Kai loved Tala, and the latter has to pay the price.
Goodnight, Sweetheart
- by Reiven
When we were six, I looked into is icy blue eyes for the very first time. I hated him then. I hated his eyes. I hated the way he acted at me as if he was better than I was. I hated the way he didn't look at me, as if I wasn't important enough to be taken notice of. I hated everything about him, and sometimes I wished that he would just go away.
When we were eight, something changed in me. It might have been the developing hormones, but I began looking at him in a whole new way. I no longer hated his eyes; in fact, I couldn't let a day go by without looking into them. I couldn't help but long to stare at myself the way I was seen in his eyes, my own reflection in him. I just wanted to be able to stare into them forever.
When we were ten, I came to the realization that the hatred I felt for him when I was younger was just a game my mind was playing on me. I never hated him. I just hated the fact that he was Tala and I was Kai. I hated that he wasn't my Tala. I hated the fact that he was ice to my flames that I could never get close to him without destroying one of us. I wanted to badly to have him, to hold him, to call him mine, but it was never meant to be.
When we were twelve, I was forced to leave him, to leave my life and everything behind because of a simple mistake. I should not have succumbed to Black Dranzer's call that night. I should not have gone against Boris' orders about not being powerful enough to control the beast. I should have heeded Tala's words, when be begged me not to go. I should have not been so stupid, and now I've lost everything.
When I was fourteen… then fifteen and sixteen, time passed as if I was in a void. Everything that happened never registered in my mind. I vaguely remembered the old coot tricking me into joining a raggedy bunch of armatures. The only thing that mattered to me was that Tala was not by my side. But as soon as the thought came, I realized that if I did go along with the old man's plan, and by some miracle, managed to lead that loser team to victory, we were bound to go up against the current world champions; the Demolition Boys… Tala. I would get to meet Tala again, so I went along with it.
When we were seventeen, we met again for the first time in years. He still looked exactly the same, but more mature and if possible, even more ethereal. His hair had never lost is luminous glow; his icy blue eyes still managing to captivate me in their ever hypnotising gaze. His face, still as beautiful and I had remembered it. The only difference this time, he no longer looked at me with the intense passion as he had before; the longing that used to shine brightly in his eyes had dimmed to a dull aching. In fact, he no longer looked at me, his eyes continued to stay trained on that lilac-haired boy.
The first time we met, I confronted him… I wish I hadn't now. I wish I hadn't joined the team and returned back to Russia. I wish I hadn't kept my hopes up that everything would be as they were even if I went back to him. Too many years had passed. People change, feelings change. At first, I thought I could handle it, that he deserved some happiness in life. But the more I saw it, the more I ached, the more I wanted him.
Then, before we realized it, the World Championships drew to a close. The Bladebreakers came out the victors, although in the end, I was the true loser. It suddenly hit me, faster than an avalanche in the snowy mountains; I realized that I couldn't handle it. I could not just sit by idly as I watched him being with someone that wasn't me. I could not just ignore the fact that they were both locked in a room, doing things with each other that he should be doing with me. I could not stand the fact that ultimately; he had chosen Bryan, instead of me.
Now we're nearing eighteen, and I still can't refrain for staring into his gorgeous, captivating orbs. They were exactly the same as they were when we were five; the first time we had ever crossed paths. The only difference now was that the once burning intensity that shone in them was gone. His eyes were dull... dead. The vibrant blue hue that once stood brightly against his place skin was now the same shade. His rapidly paling lips parted slightly in a silent scream. Blood splattered against his skin, on his clothes, on the bed, on the floor... on my own two hands and the large glinting knife I held in my hand. It was the only colour worth looking at among all the dead grey of the atmosphere.
I don't remember what happened, or how I had come to be in possession of the knife; or how I ended up sitting here, on the side of his bed with my clothes stained and dripping with his blood. The last thing I remembered was his hurt voice accusing me of betrayal, implying that I had cheated on him with my own teammate. His accusation cut deep into me, especially because it was not true. He was the one how betrayed my trust, he's the one who hurt me. It was the last straw when he screamed out in a moment of fury, "I hate you!" It was then that I snapped, and my vision began darkening.
Before I knew it, he was gone. I held a deep sense of self-tranquility in knowing that he had felt no pain. The slice to his beautiful, smooth throat had been swift and clean, and there was no time for the pain to even register. I kept on reassuring myself that I had done the right thing. If Tala was not mine, then it was destined that he would be no one's.
I love Tala to the day he died, even if it was at my own hands. Perhaps it was because of watching a lot of these old movies, hearing all those old tales; Romeo and Juliet was my personal favourite. Lovers; unable to be together in this life, reunited in the next.
I knew Tala would be waiting for me in the afterlife, and I could hardly contain my desperation to see him again. Come morning, I knew that many people learn the truth about us, and then Bryan would realize once and for all, whom Tala was supposed to be with. It was the image of his disappointed features in my minds eye that brought a smile to my face, even as I touched the cool blade of the knife to my wrists and slit.
As the blood dripped down my arms, soaking into the mattress and sheets, pooling at the foot of the bed, I lay down beside him. My vision had started to fade and the only thing I saw clearly was his smiling face. And so I smiled, wished him a goodnight and planted a light kiss on his cheek before joining him in his eternal slumber. Perhaps now, we can finally be together… for all eternity.
- Owari.
