For the ones that read COD, don't worry, this is only a one-shot that I wrote some time ago. Today I'll post even COD epilogue so be ready!
Written for: Roswell's Inferno - Seven deadly sins challange
Sin: ENVY
Character: Isabel
Summary: Isabel is thinking about Liz question on who she envy.
In italics direct quotes from the episodes.
From: browse/envy
EN-VY: [en-vee] noun, plural en·vies.
a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.
"Who do you envy?" Liz asked me.
"No one."
What a big, fat lie that was. I'm surprised that Liz couldn't see it, or maybe she saw it but decided that she didn't want to pry too much in a single day and I'm grateful for that because I was not ready to admit it with everyone but myself.
She asked me who I envy. My answer is very simple. Everyone.
I envy every single person in this world, from the richest to the poorest.
I envy everyone that could do his best, at school, at works, and in his life in general, without fearing that doing so could attract too much attention.
I envy every girl that could talk with her mom about her problems, her love life, without fearing that she could let slip some little detail that would cause too much questions that she couldn't answer.
I envy every girl that could love the boy she likes without fearing that he would find out about her dark secret and run away scared.
I envy everyone that can have deep and meaningful friendship without fearing that your friend could find out that you aren't from this earth.
I always envied Liz, even before my brother saved her life putting us all at risk, she was the girl I would have liked to be. Beautiful, popular in her own way, she has true friends that love her, she has good parents that know everything about her life, and now I envy that she had became a very important part of my brother life, and I'm scared that he will forget about me.
I envy even my brothers, Max and Michael, because they have found the courage to try to have a relationship with the person they like. I don't have it. I'm scared of what could happen, of being hurt.
I envy Alex the most because he has the courage that I lack. He liked me before and likes me now even more. He is not scared about what I am. He accepts me with all my faults. He asked me to go out and, when I rejected him, he was still happy. He understands that I'm scared, that I'm not ready to risk my heart, to put myself in a relationship with someone with the capacity of hurting me so bad. Because Alex could hurt me. He knows all about me and I like him. He makes me laugh, blush, but most of all he makes me happy and that scares me.
What will be of me if I start a relationship with him, I fall in love with him, and then my real family find me and takes me back on my home planet?
I tried to live my whole life staying away from every real relationship but the ones with my parents and my brothers so it wouldn't hurt so much if we'll go away, but now I find myself with real friendships, even if I never admit it with Liz, Maria and Alex.
I envy...
"Wanna go stargazing?"
I turn to find Alex smiling at me.
"I like watching stars and I wanted to ask you if..."
"Yes." I say without thinking too much. It's only stargazing with a friend, isn't it?
"That's great!" He smiles and I smile too. See, happy.
We walks a while trying to find the perfect place to do our stargazing and, when we finally find it, we sit down on a rock, close to each other.
"And then to the right of the Milky Way, that's Orion." I know a lot about stars form when I wanted to find my home and I studied every maps that I could find. I like to share what I know with him.
"Oh, wow." I smile, he seems really curious about it.
"And see the north star?"
"Yeah."
"Ok, now look a little to your left...and a little further out, that small group of stars right there, that's the Cygnus constellation. It's the furthest we can see from here."
"It's amazing." I can feel his eyes on me and I know that he's not talking only about the stars anymore.
"What is?" I want to tease him a little.
"Staring at the stars with you," he starts with a little smile. "I mean, I used to look up there, and stars were just stars. One was just as good as the next one. Somehow with you...I mean... It's so wondrous, you know? I mean...each star is...is a mystery, you know, and so full of possibility. This is so much better than seeing a movie." His eyes are shining and I smile again.
"Thanks." I can feel myself blush a little.
"Hey, listen, um...since we didn't get a chance to go out on our date tonight, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to do something together on Friday." And with that phrase he destroy it all. No, not with his phrase but with that single word. Date.
"Our what?"
"Well, not a date. That's probably the wrong word..." I think he sees that I'm scared and is trying to make it better but it's already too late. "I just thought that we were going to the movies, you know, to hang out, to have fun, talk like real friends..."
"Well, yeah, me, too..." I can see that he doesn't really mean it. I can see that he hopes it will be something more "It can't be a date, Alex. Don't you understand? It can't be anything like that."
I stand up and I walk away scared about what I'm feeling.
My heart is beating faster than normal and my eyes sting a little.
I wanted so much to say yes to him, I wanted to go out on a date with him but I'm scared.
I look back at him, he's looking down, his hands in his hairs, a sad look on his face and I want so bad to go back and tell him that I want to go out on a date.
But I don't.
I go back to the camp and see girls chatting with boys, people talking with their father, girls gossiping between them.
I can stand to see them all so I go in my tend and cry.
I envy everyone of them because they can be normal while I can't.
-._.-._.- The End -._.-._.-