Hermione's thoughts during the Yule Ball during fourth year. No dialogue, simply her pondering in first person as she considers her relationship with Ron while he gets jealous over Viktor. Oneshot, Hr/R.

Maybe One Day

Set: during 4th year, Yule Ball. First person, all thoughts. All italics text by the amazing JK Rowling, from the 4th book. All "…" signify a small gap in time where Hermione's thoughts didn't really fit the flow of the story. You'll see…

Stop it. Stop feeling awful. Stop letting yourself always be the one to fix everything.

It's not your job to do it. He could have asked you. You waited long enough, waited for one of them, at least, to say…

Oh great. He's looking at Viktor again. With that horrible jealous look and-

Good. I avoided eye contact once again. Pretend to be looking at your pudding. Stare at it long enough and he'll stop staring at you, making you feel horrible.

NO. I do not feel horrible. I will not feel bad for someone who doesn't give an ounce of thought about you. If he really wanted to be with you, he would have said so. He wants to be with you now because now he has competition. It's like a game for him, I bet.

Arg. He's such an insufferable git. I hate him. I hate him… I…

Alright, I don't hate him. Glance up…

Oh good, he's talking to Harry now. Ignoring his actual date, and finally ignoring me. I bet he didn't think I was actually going to have a date. I won't tell him I'm rather surprised myself. Of course, maybe if Viktor hadn't asked me I'd be going with him.

"Hermione… Neville's right – you are a girl…"

"Oh well spotted."

"Well – you can come with one of us!"

…

"I can't come with you, because I'm already going with someone."

"No you're not! You just said that to get rid of Neville!"

"Oh did I? Just because it's taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean that no one else has spotted I'm a girl!"

Not that that would be more fun than coming with Viktor. He's been a lot of fun to talk to, even if he can't say my name properly. It is a hard name I suppose.

…even if he can say it right. Except he's an idiot who cares more about how a girl looks than how she acts. And thinks.

"So basically, you're going to take the best-looking girl who'll have you, even if she's completely horrible?"

"Er—yeah, that sounds about right."

Idiot. At least he made his point clear. He thinks I'm ugly. Oh well. There are worse things to be, I'm sure. I wonder what else he thinks about me?

No! Viktor. Think of Victor.

I should talk to Viktor some more. He really is a nice guy. And it's really no good for me to be brooding over other people all night.

Dance? Alright that should be fun… our initial dance together was rather nice, I do say, so no problem. Take my mind off of other boys.

…

Oh. Wow… this is close. Very close. It feels… nice. Safe, somehow. Oh, I hope this slow song keeps going just a bit longer. I wonder if Krum is having a good time? I wonder if Ron is… stop. Don't worry you about him. Just enjoy the feeling; this may be the only time in awhile you'll get to enjoy being this close to a boy.

Oh, a fast song now. This is so much fun. I should say hi to Harry and Ron. No need to be rude or anything. Oh perfect, Parvati just got up. Open seat for me. A break will be nice anyway.

…

Ohhh. That jerk. I can't believe him! He has no right to be so upset with me, I didn't do anything wrong! I got asked to a dance, he didn't ask me. He's just so… so…

"If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."

"Ron, what –?"

"He's from Durmstrang! You – you're – fraternizing with the enemy, that's what you are doing!"

Absolutely incorrigible. Stupid. Insane. Jealous out of his mind. He's… he's beyond belief, how can I actually like him?

I did not just think that. Like him? Ron? Never. That's just a waste of my time.

Maybe that's why he's so jealous? Maybe it's not just because of the GoF competition, maybe…

Yeah right. Stop kidding yourself.

Wait a second. Where'd he go? He left somewhere with Harry. They didn't even ask me to come. Well fine then, I'll have my own good time without those two boys.

…

All this closeness again. Maybe I'm just not used to it because my two closest friends are boys and I'm never this close to them. Well, in this way at least. It feels very nice. Look up- let him know I haven't fallen asleep, although I probably could. He looks… he looks…

Like he wants to kiss me? Oh dear.

Whew, I just turned my face in time, for him to kiss my cheek. I really don't want my first kiss to be tonight. It just seems weird for it to be with Viktor. It always seemed like it should be with…

No. NO. I didn't just think that. After everything he just said to me.

…

But after everything he just said to me, I still like him. I mean- as a friend of course. I still sort of wish I was with him. I…

It's night already? That went by very… quickly. I should thank Viktor; I really did have a pleasant time. Oh dear, he's looking at me like that again. Like he wants- Oh, maybe just a quick quick kiss can't hurt anything.

I don't understand why they don't make any good books that tell you how to kiss a boy. I'll have to write one myself I suppose.

Here goes…

There. That wasn't so bad. It didn't last very long, but it seemed like a pleasant feeling. Viktor's being such a gentleman, I'm really lucky to be with him. Say goodbye, thank him for the night-

Oh no, Ron's back again. At least he's with Harry. Harry can play mediator, I'll thank him later. Hmmm… they both look like they just discovered something. Maybe how to get the egg open?! Or… wait a minute, Harry's going off with Cedric somewhere. Which means. Oh dear. Quick. Avoid all confrontation. Start calmly, you'll end calmly. He didn't see us, together, did he? No I think he'd look angrier than he does right now. I'll just cross my fingers.

…

Oh. I hate him. I hate him. He's just. And now I look a mess again. Why did I have to go and cry. And care? At least no one has to see me right now. It'll take a week probably to shower out all this hair straightening potion. My face is so red. Oh… I can't stand him. He's just…

"Well, if you don't like it, you know what the solution is, don't you?!"

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

"Next time there's a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!!"

That set him right. He had no response. He just gapped at me with his mouth open. He actually had nothing to say. I saw his eyes. They looked… unhappy? Or maybe I just imagined it… because I wanted it…

I shouldn't think that. He doesn't like me in any way other than friendship. And at this point maybe not even friendship.

Yes he does. At least as a friend.

I can't argue that one out. And I can't keep stopping myself from imagining it was him I was dancing with. And wishing that it was him you had given that quick goodnight kiss, not Viktor.

I don't hate him. I don't think I could. Oh, soft bed… finally. I'm going to fall asleep instantly after today.

If he would… just wake up… and realize…

… maybe one day… he will.

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