"Salt Life"
The origin story of Pretzel (and Sponge to an extent)
Authors note: Hello friend! Glad to see that you are reading this. As the creator of the Pretzel Mario mii, as shown in Vinesauce's "Tomodachi Life" stream, I would like to take the time in saying I had no prior backstory when concieving this addition to the streams. Really all it took was a couple smirnoffs and a quick glance at the art after one of Vinny's Game and Wario streams. Honestly, I have no idea why I put down "Mullets Rule" as a catchphrase for him as I was too incoherent to care. I want to thank Vinny for coming up with a better catchphrase for him as "Eeeeeeh Ya Know" is way more hilarious than mine. So please keep in mind that I will focus mostly on Pretzel's backstory with Sponge being a big part of it later on. I would like to express ideas from Sponge's creator, Nasnumbers, when she came up with her original concept of Sponge. Sponge's part in this story may/can be altered based on popular input. With all that said, Allow me to tell the tale of Pretzel's life prior to appearing on Vineland Island.
Pret-Zell Mario was born on a cold, breezy day in January to a family of 3, which included an older brother, Spondaj. Initially, The now family of 4 were happy, Despite an increased appeal of sadness appearing on the elder brother. The two brothers got along however as toddlers and enjoyed activities such as sledding the frozen hills of their homeland of Kraskatalian. For a time, everything was at peace for the rejected Mario family.
However, signs of sadness became more and more apparent in Spondaj's psyche. Despite Pret-Zell's efforts to cheer up the Orange sob, his attempts to make him happy were null. Fearing the worst, the brothers' parents tried their best to make the older sibling at peace as well. Their attempts also failed as Spondaj's condition worsened and worsened as the years went on. The parent's only option was to console the older being while leaving young Pret-Zell to his own devices.
Years went by and more attempts to make Spondaj happy were more drastic than ever. They tried giving him the best clothes while Pret Zell was given "sloppy seconds" (Hence why his official color is brown. It was at one time orange but aged into brown). He was given alot of attention and love, leaving Pret-Zell in the shadows, brooding. But alas, that all changed once the brown shirted brother got something he had wanted since his elder brother couldn't bother playing it since he cried so much. A copy of "Blario Kart" for the Super Vintendo. A game he alway's wanted to experience. A way to cope from all the neglect. Pret-Zell made good use out of that game, quickly becoming an expert racer. Always picking "Bluigi" because he felt like he had a lot in common with him. It was a way for him to be "a-number-one" as he liked to put it.
Pret-Zell (now shortening his name to simply "Pretzel") was now a teen. An angsty teen who despiced his family for neglecting him after all these years and especially to his brother for hogging all the limelight just by simply being a whiny baby. His only solace is Blario Kart. Particuarlly the latest game, Blario Kart Bii (pernounced "Bee"). As Pretzel begun his game and browses the new menu, one feature catches his attention. The online mode. A mode where he can challenge other racers all over the world. A chance to show that he is not only good at this game, but maybe, he's the best. He strokes his budding mustache and imagines that feeling of importance. A grand feeling.
He spends his free time playing this mode. Getting better after every race. With every loss and bad finish, his skills improve. However, so does the rest of the world's. Constantly frustrated, his track records slowly deteriorate overtime as his losses worsen and worsen. A feeling of bitterness and saltiness befalls him with every day that his life has come to this. A rage induced young man who can't seem to cope with everything around him. He tries and tries to become better but the world just keeps knocking him off the in-game race tracks. Finally after months of rage and salt, Pretzel had enough. He goes into a fit. He knocks everything over. Tears everything up and punches holes in walls. All the noise alerts his father as he barges into the room, shaking the salty son into snapping out of it. Finally, Pretzel did the unthinkable. He punches his dad away from him and scurrys out of his room, out of his house, and out of his sight.
Running, and crying, Pretzel had his mind racing. What was he going to do? Would he keep running away? Would he be able to live off the land? Would he ever be able to cope with the levels of salt that he has swallowed? He slowed down and simply sat down in a nearby bench. He couldn't simply turn around and walk back home. He would be in severe trouble by his parents. He couldn't live with anyone else because he didn't have no other family and he had no friends because all he did was play Blario Kart all his life up to this point. He simply laid down on the bench, crying himself to sleep.
"Pretzel..."
"Pret-Zell."
"Wake up, Pretzel."
Pretzel woke up to see his older brother, Sponge hovering above him, looking as sad as ever, even with the more developed moustache covering some of the sadness.
"Spondaj?" Pretzel perked up. "Wha...What are you-"
"Wait." Sponge interupted as his moustache began to glow. A warming sensation tingled thought Pretzel. A feeling of something he hasn't felt in a long time. Happyness. Pretzel recalled the times that the two brothers sledding the hills of Kraskatalian when they were young. A grand feeling indeed.
"Brother... Spondaj..." Pretzel said, with more satisfaction in his voice than ever.
"I hope you feel better Pret-Zell" Sponge meekingly replied. "I used a special power that I have had ever since I was a baby to soak up your sadness."
"Soak up sadness?" Pretzel retorted.
"Indeed." Sponge nodded "I somehow have the ability to soak the negitive energy that all living beings have to prevent them to be sad. I must be sad at all times to make others happy. That is what I must do in my life."
"Brother..." Pretzel whimpered with a tear in his eye. Suddenly, Sponges moustache once again glew, but this time, more brightly and more viciously.
"Oh No!" Sponge exclaimed as his moustaches began sucking in things into its bright light. Pretzel tried to hold on to the bench but was too twigy to hold on for long as he got sucked into the light. A floating motion came across Pretzel as he had no idea where his was or what even happened. All he could see was white. Startled and panicked, he tried to look for an exit but nothing.
"SPONDAJ!" Cried Pretzel. "SPONDAJ WHERE ARE YOU!"
"I'm over here Pretzel" A voice answered back. Pretzel looked over his shoulder and floating next to him was the Orange wonder. "Are you ok?"
"Eeeeeh... ya know..." Pretzel replied "Where are we? How did we get in he-"
Everything suddenly faded to white with no warning, no noise, and no spaghetti.
...
Pretzel then woke up. He felt sand on his face and the sounds of an ocean around him. He looked up and around him. The sound of seagulls entered in and the smell of Key Lime Pie radiates the air. He stands up and wonders around this beach area, looking for his brother. A short while later. He finds him, half buried head first in the sand. Quickly, he pulled his brother out by the leg and lets out a gasp.
"Spondaj!" He exclaimed "You look grown up!"
Indeed he did. For the last time he saw his brother, he was just 18. Admittingly he did look older than that, he looked way older now. Sponge also gasped and pointed at Pretzel.
"So do you... and what happened to your eyebrows?"
Pretzel found his reflection in the ocean water and analized his details. He also looked older. Almost like he was close to his 30's. His eyebrows suddenly missing, yet his moustashe, although not as dominant as his brothers, was posh, even curling upwards. A shocking turn of events for the reject Mario brothers.
"What happened Spondaj?" Pretzel panic strickenly gasped.
"It seems to me that there was so much sadness that I asorbed from you that it overloaded my moustache." Sponge explained. "We were sucked into a void and left there for several years until we were somehow summoned. The question remains... where are we?" The two brothers quickly gathered themselves and began to search around for civilazation. They walked around for hours, looking for anything. The sandy floor they walked on turned into pavement as they continued on. Finally, in the distance, they had a break they were looking for. Buildings. A few of them, but buildings nonetheless. The biggest one seemed to have alot of windows, looking like a hotel of some kind. The two brothers looked at each other. One filled with sadness. The other filled with indifference. And Salt. They both nodded at each other as they entered that big building. In there, they were greeted by a jabroni wearing a fedora and a weird costume. It was at that point they knew that they would be in good hands.