Johnny sat in the lot, rain pouring down on him. He groaned, why did it have to be today his parents decided to get drunk at home? Usually his dad just got drunk at bars and his mom would scream at him, not enough to kick him out in this weather.
He draped his worn leather jacket over his head, hoping to keep out some of the rain, it wasn't helping all that much seeing as some of the rain seeped through the small tears. He tried to huddle underneath one of the trees, but that, too, did little.
He would go to the Curtis' but they had already offered and he had declined, saying he could stay at his place. It would just be rude and obnoxious to go bursting in when he had already denied another offer. It would be a burden, he was just a burden. That's all he was ever going to be, a burden that no one could really shake. Hell, he was pretty sure that none of the gang really cared 'cept Ponyboy, even then. They just tolerated him because Ponyboy saw him as a friend.
But, he was just a weakling. He couldn't raise a hand against his father or his voice against his mother. He isn't able to defend himself, he only laid down and took the beatings and/or the words. It was all he was good for, letting out excess energy. Maybe that's why he was kept around, because someday someone might have to let out a little excess energy. Johnny would be scarily okay with that, it meant he was at least needed in some kind of way.
The rain became a soft droning in the background, the cold being pushed off to the back of his mind. Soon, he was lost in his own thoughts and fears. Would anyone really care if he killed himself? It was scary to Johnny how easily he could imagine his mother sobbing over his dead body and his father putting down the bottle and crying. It was scary to Johnny how easily he could picture the gang not even giving him a second glance. He may not be as smart as Ponyboy, but he could dig deeper into his own memories and think more upon things than some give him credit.
The rain poured down harder and it snapped Johnny back into reality, the storm was getting worse and he had nowhere to go. He huddled into himself and watched the ground in front of him. A small puddle was forming in front of and around him, soaking his jeans. This was nothing compared to what going back to his own house would do. He wouldn't cry. He never cried. It was maybe the only thing that Johnny could pride himself on. He didn't break. He wouldn't break. He refused to break.
Two shoes appeared in front of him and he looked up in surprise. He squinted his eyes to see who it was, but the man in front of him didn't hesitate in crouching down and hoisting Johnny up until his feet barely touched the ground. For a moment, he thought it was his father, come all the way out here just to beat him, to let out energy. Johnny panicked and tried to get out of the mans grip, not even trying to see who it was.
"Johnny, calm down!" the man said, shaking Johnny slightly. Johnny went limp, knowing that helped the beating be less painful, but looked up to see who it was. Oh. It was Darry. By now, Johnny was shaking like a leaf, both from the rain and the fear. Darry must have seen the fear because he placed him down and mumbled a quick, "Sorry, kid." The rain pounded down onto the sidewalk, much worse than beneath the tree. It had gotten bad fast. "Get in the truck," Darry commanded, no room for argument, so Johnny clambered into the front seat, his wet clothes soaking the seat immediately. "Sorry," he apologized quietly, but Darry shook his head, "My sides no better."
He glanced at Darry, "What're you doin' out this late? Or it is late?" Johnny asked, fiddling with his thumbs. "Yeah, it's pretty late, 'round 10ish," Darry explained and Johnny gave him a confused look, "Then why're you out so late in the first place?" "Ah well, I got off the job and, well, I had a sneaking suspicion that you weren't gonna have a place to stay, besides, the lot is dangerous to stay at with all this thunder and lightning." Johnny had almost forgotten about the thunder and lightning, if he had a choice, he would go back to under the tree, pretending nothing existed. Lightning flashed in the sky and thunder soon followed, Johnny let out a little squeak. Darry had to cover his mouth with his hand to keep himself for chuckling. Johnny gave him a halfhearted glare.
When the truck pulled into the Curtis home, Johnny was tired, cold and fearful. The thunder frightened him, which he was ashamed to admit, he was a 16-year-old greaser, not a 6-year-old baby. Johnny had curled up on himself trying to keep himself warm and sheltered from the world. So he didn't even notice when Darry swung himself out of the car and opened his door. He was snapped from his thoughts when Darry picked him up and began to walk towards the house. "Glory, Darry, you scared me half to death. What're you doing?" "Carrying you, what else?"
Although it was hard to see on his dark skin, Johnny blushed. They entered the Curtis household and he was surprised to hear silence, not even the usual sound of Soda snoring. "Soda and Pony are out at Two-Bits today to wait out the storm. Steve's there, too." "Why aren't you there?" "Because of you." "Sorry." Darry gave Johnny a weird look before placing him down on the couch, "No need to be sorry." Johnny just nodded, biting his lip and not wanting to overstay his welcome.
Darry had grabbed some towels and began to dry off himself, tossing Johnny one, too. They dried off in silence, by the time Johnny was at least half-dry, the towel was sopping wet. Darry was already dry and tossed Johnny another towel, "Jesus kid, you're like a waterlogged dog over there. I just hope you don't smell like one, too." Johnny chuckled quietly but Darry looked concerned, "You okay, Johnny? Why didn't you just come by our house? You're always welcome to, doesn't matter if we're here or not." Johnny sighed, "You already offered and I declined, I didn't want to be a burden." "A burden?" Darry exploded, "Johnny you aint a burden, you anything but one. How can you be so stupid to even think you are one?" "You can hit me if you want, it helps with the excess energy. At least that's what my mom says." Darry went silent, looking over at Johnny with an almost horrified expression.
In a flash Darry was crouching in front of Johnny, his hands on his shoulders, "You listen here Johnny and you listen well, aint nobody gonna hit you. You aint just someone to take their anger out on, got that?" Johnny quickly nodded, though still not completely believing him. But, he also felt a spark of anger, how dare they lie to him in such a way? Couldn't they just be outright with it? He jerked himself into a standing position, "Don't lie to me!" Darry jerked back in surprise. "Don't lie to me, Darry! It's all I'm fucking good for and you know that! I'm a fucking goddamn idiot, I'm never going anywhere in life, I'm going to be stuck in the same position as my parents and I fucking deserve it! No one would even care if I killed my-" Darry grabbed a hold of Johnny and Johnny braced himself, but Darry's voice was gruff, "Don't talk like that, honey." Darry only used nicknames like that with Pony or Soda. Johnny hadn't even noticed but tears pricked the corner of his eyes. "Don't you even dare talk like that, the gang would be heartbroken if you killed yourself, even Dally, especially Dally. You're worth so much more than that."
Johnny broke, the great Johnny that never broke, broke. He began to sob, holding onto Darry's shirt, clutching it and burying his head in the damp fabric. Darry just held, shushing and rocking him. "I-I-I just can't d-do it anymore, Darry, I can't do i-it!" "Shush, shush. It's alright, you're safe here, you're safe here." Johnny cried his little heart out.
When Johnny finally stopped crying and his sobs turned into little sniffles and whimpers, the rain had began to slow down, too. Johnny was exhausted, he was embarrassed and his chest hurt. Darry laid him down on the couch, placing Johnny's head on his lap. "Now you listen here Johnny, you mean a whole lot to the whole gang. If you went and killed yourself, we wouldn't know what to do. You'd break Pony's heart, hell, you'd break Dally's heart. Those parents of yours know nothing about love or affection like you do. You aint just a punching bag to let anger out onto, none of us are ever gonna do that to you, understand?" Johnny just nodded. "You gonna tell anyone I cried?" he decided on asking. Darry chuckled, "Naw kid, that would be too cruel, even for me." Johnny chuckled, too.
Soon both Johnny and Darry fell asleep, Johnny's head on his lap and the rain drummed on the roof. But this time, the thunder didn't scare Johnny. Why would it? He had Darry? Hell, he had the whole crew.