Chapter 1 'The calling'
The day flew by as fast as a piece of shit through a sewer pipe. Douglas Stamper was going to meet Cathy Durant before stopping to realise how much he loved his job. He loved the atmosphere, sounds, stress, and even the people.
"This is home" He said with a grin.
Now a man named Frank Underwood was just an ordinary southern man with no aspirations other than to be an avid rib eater. That was before his rib eating landed himself in the oval office. He was put there as the result of a coup by the south of the country who thought there were too many corrupt politicians providing ribs to themselves. Frank never really wanted this job, it was just laid out infront of him.
"What rib-lovin luck!" he exclamed.
A few months after this ordeal, Frank became unhinged. "Power-hungry" some would say. In a very distorted, wet voice he growled "Douglas, I require more fucking ribs. The ones I have now are mushy." Douglas Stamper was a man of honor, he heard this and wondered why his own boss needed 4 lbs of ribs almost every day.
"Sir, you need a salad at best. And maybe a xanax?".
Douglas uttered these words with such carefulness, almost as much when he killed Rachel, you know, the prostitute.
"A salad? Xanax? HOW ABOUT THIS. GO GET DONALD BLYTHE AND TELL HIM TO FETCH ME A STRING OF ITALIAN SAUSAGE. MAYBE THEN I WILL EAT A SALAD!" Frank yelled.
Douglas felt a thrill going up his leg. Anytime Frank yelled at him. He admired his tone, "So powerful" he muttered.
Chapter 2 'Claire's famous hickory smoked sausage'
Now there was a man named Remy Danton was Frank's personal inporter and exporter. Whatever Frank wanted, Remy got.
"Ay Frank, I contacted that blonde bitch you're in love with."
"Don't speak of Claire that way you-" Frank proceeded to call Remy a racial slur I'd rather not repeat.
"Ay Frank, listen. Just because you feel something for this woman doesn't always mean I have to approve. I like feminist ladies, you like controlling bitches. Just the way God made us."
Frank felt like he was losing control of his power, so he immediately arranged for Remy to go get three tons of ribs from House Freddy, the leader of the North. Oh, I probably forgot to mention that. After the coup of 2017, The states were forever cut into four parts. North, South, East, and the West. House Freddy controlled the North, House Frank controlled the East, House Claire controlled the South, and House Durant controlled the West.
"He ordered three tons, THREE TONS, of fucking ribs. Doesn't he know we run out of gas and generator power in four months?Jesus..." Remy explained to Doug.
"Get him what he wants. No questions." Doug replied with a stern voice.
Chapter 3, The rise of Seth.