Fools Dreams
Um..just as a side note, the song Bring me to Life by Evanescence goes really well with this story for some odd reason. Try listening while you read.
Fools Dreams
Kamui needed to stop being so soft. He was falling apart as his friends died around him, betrayed him, hurt him. It was driving him insane.
He had, long ago, built up a wall to protect himself from such things.
That wall had long since shattered.
He had avoided and even hurt Kotori and Fuma to protect them from the fate they would surely see from becoming involved with him.
But he could not stay away.
He was drawn by Kotori's smile and Fuma's warm embrace.
He could not stay away.
Now Kotori was dead and Fuma was his enemy. The constant worrying and heartbreak had driven him to insomnia and he now spent his nights inside sleepless dreams. He dreamed of back when they were all kids again, all living again, all breathing again. It was at times like this he thought of himself as dead. At times like this he no longer felt among the living, among the breathing.
Kamui sat in a wooden swing that dangled from a tree by fraying ropes. He wore his black school uniform and realized that for the first time, in one of his dreams, he wasn't a child. He pushed forward with his feet propelling the swing into a rhythmic motion. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. The monotony of it all brought Kamui very near slumber, but his consciousness would not let him fall into the comfort that is sleep.
He looked up and saw Kotori and Fuma talking across a field of tall gold grass. He called out to them but his voice was lost in the wind. It was a strange wind. It blew in every direction, breezing over his skin like hands. As soft as they were, they felt like icy claws. Ripping his voice from his throat and stealing the breath from his lungs. He felt choked, as if he was under immense pressure. Like he was drowning above the surface of the water.
He watched Fuma and Kotori, not having the strength to go to them.
Kotori seemed to be crying about something and Fuma was attempting to comfort her, even though he himself needed comforting.
It tore at Kamui's heart. He was the cause of their suffering. He was the cause of their pain, their loneliness, their sadness, their anger, their loss.
He called out again desperate to reach is friends to apologize, to repent. He wanted Fuma to hold him and tell him it was all right. He wanted to see Kotori's bright smile penetrate the darkness and ease his pain. He wanted to tell them both how sorry he was and he wanted them to forgive him.
Kamui needed to stop being so selfish. He was falling apart at the need, the want to be among loved ones. It was driving him insane.
He watched Fuma embrace Kotori and he longed for the familiar touch. He bowed is head and let out a strangled cry. Why? Why was this happening to him? Why?
When he looked up again Kotori was slumped up against Fuma, blood spilling from her back, blending with her hair, staining her clothes. Fuma was holding her; the look on his face read that of total shock, then horror.
"K-Kotori?" Kamui heard his voice for the first time. His own voice. "KOTORI!!" Tears streamed down Kamui's cheeks, blurring his eyes, teasing his vision. He clenched his teeth in feeble attempts to stop the waterfall, to no avail. The tears kept coming, dripping to the ground after cascading down his face from golden eyes.
Now he saw Fuma look up toward him. Finally his presence had been noticed. The wind had died down but was slowly being replaced by a hollow howling noise that seemed to increase in volume with every step that Fuma took towards Kamui.
Kamui's hands flew to his ears in attempts to keep out the lonely sound. Fuma ran the last few yards to stand before his young friend. Kamui looked up to see the kind concerned face of the boy he had trusted and loved for years.
"Kamui!" Fuma's eyes now glistened with tears as well. "Kotori…Kotori is dea-- she..." Fuma was unable to say it.
"S-she's dead, Fuma." Kamui looked into the eyes of his best friend.
"Dead."
Then Fuma was hugging him, squeezing the life out of him.
"Kamui," Fuma begged, "promise me you'll never leave me like that! Promise!"
"I promise."
Fuma pulled back and positioned his face in front of Kamui's.
"I don't want two people I love to die the same way."
Then Fuma was kissing him, tender and sweet. Kamui collapsed into Fuma's embrace and did not complain.
The older boy angled his head to deepen the kiss as Kamui did nothing but sit there.
He loved it.
He would never say it, but he loved it when he dreamed of Fuma kissing him. It made the whole world fade away. It made everything right. The sky went white with overcastting clouds. It appeared to Kamui that the field was now encased by a pristine white room and the ground was floating within it like a snow globe wrapped in white paper.
"Kamui, I love you." Fuma breathed into Kamui's ear and hugged him once more.
This time the hug was suffocating. Kamui couldn't breathe.
Kamui needed to stop being so foolish. He was trusting the person who betrayed him, hurt him, and slaughtered his friends. It was driving him insane.
"F-Fuma." He choked out. The lack of air was causing him to see spots, black specks in the pure walls around him. They looked like dry blood without color, like dried black paint that had been slowly scraped away so only tiny blotches remained.
Kamui tried to push Fuma off of him but his arms refused to comply, denying him of their aid.
Now the black spots looked like fire, like his vision was a beautifully painted picture being eaten away by black flames. So dark yet so bright.
Fuma pulled away and looked at Kamui lovingly.
"I love you...and Kotori too." Kamui said sheepishly.
Fuma took Kamui's chin in his hand and lifted it up so their eyes met again.
"I love only you, Kamui."
This was not Fuma. Kamui saw that now, even in his dreamy state. Fuma would never say that. Fuma would be crying over Kotori, helping Kamui to stand, and kissing him only slightly. He would never insult Kotori in such a way. Not even in Kamui's worst nightmares.
"No! Fuma get off! –This is just a dream, I need to --"
"Yes Kamui, you need to wake up. You need to get out of here, back to reality."
Fuma's face was now beginning to look dark and menacing.
"F-Fuma?" Kamui felt fear rise in his chest as Fuma leaned in closer. He tried to lean back and get away but the ropes of the swing had wrapped around his wrists holding him captive, rooted to the spot, sitting on the broad flat piece of wood dangling from a tree that would be his doom.
Fuma attacked Kamui's lips again, this time much more violently than before. He invaded his mouth determined to show the younger dragon just how powerful he was.
Kamui hated it.
He hated being kissed by anyone who wasn't Fuma. The shadow that loomed over him wasn't Fuma. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
All of Kamui's thoughts were halted as he felt an insane pressure at his chest, ripping him open, mutilating his body. His eyes flew open. This was not Fuma. His hands turned into pathetic fists in a futile defiance. This was not Fuma. His chest hurt, his heart was breaking. This was not Fuma.
This was not Fuma!
When his twin star pulled away he kept himself nose to nose with the younger boy. Kamui looked down to see Fuma's hand submerged in his chest.
"Wake up Kamui. You need to wake up."
When he had fallen asleep Kamui could not say. He struggled to find consciousness but he could not reach it. It was too far gone.
"Wake up." Fuma whispered tenderly into his ear. "Wake up."
Kamui screamed. He felt Fuma's grip on his heart tighten threatening to rid him of it.
Kamui's eyes shot open. The nightmare was over. He was in his bed, in his room, on his street, in this world. The nightmare wasn't real.
But the pain he felt was.
The blood that rose in the back of his throat was.
The hand inside his chest was.
The nightmare was real.
He looked up to see the dark body of Fuma looming over him. The terrible mocking grin looking down on him was all too real.
"Little Kamui…" Fuma said in a voice that was velvet. It caressed Kamui's ears and lulled him into a dazed fear. His eyes were wide and stared up into red spheres that were the eyes of his friend.
"You had a lovely dream Kamui," Fuma put his mouth right next to Kamui's ear. "But fool's dreams, no matter how beautiful, still belong. To. A. Fool."
Blood fell from Kamui's lips as they opened in a silent cry as his bloody beating heart was ripped from his chest. The one who represents the majesty of God was dead. Tears streamed out of Kamui's eyes mingling and mixing with blood.
Fuma got up and stood beside Kamui's death bed, admiring his art. His grin faded as he walked away. He had almost reached the door when he heard a groan that stopped him in his tracks. Fuma looked absolutely serious as he glanced back at the body of Kamui. His ears were only just able to make out the barely audible sounds of Kamui drawing his final breath.
"Fuma…...I-I love you…" Kamui's breath sputtered and then died out. His unfocused eyes glazed over and shed the last of their tears. His fisted hands relaxed and went limp.
Fuma stared a moment at the corpse.
"Sweet dreams…" Fuma turned and grabbed the door handle. He walked out of the room without looking back.
"…You fool."
Review please, no flames.